Jealousy
by Spotofpaint
Summary: L and Light have settled into their new lives in the sleepy little upstate NY town. Now all that's left to do is live happilly ever after. That is...unless a woman tries to come between them.
1. Sheryl

**Author's Note:** Well crap. Here I go again. I tried. Ok? I tried to stay away from fan fictions to write something that could actually be published, but I failed. Yet again. The novel has died due to lack of interest and here I am doing yet another Death Note fan fiction. Apparently the short I did of "The Storm" just wasn't enough. All it did was wet my palate. And now sigh I can't stop! I just can't stop! Of course, that's great news for all of you. Haha! Anyway, this is going to be another long one. Several chapters at the least.

Anyway, I should explain to those who aren't yet my fans (you will be soon BWAHAHA!) that this is the third fan fiction I've written in sequence. If you'd like to read the others (I highly recommend you do, or you'll be completely lost and confused for this one…) they are 1. Friend or Foe 2. Friend or Flame and now 3. Jealousy. I know the title isn't as catchy, but it fit so well I just couldn't change it. Anyway, here's the first chapter. I should have the second one up sometime next week. Enjoy!

Spotofpaint

P.S- I almost forgot, I'm sure you'll all figure this out shortly, but this story takes place after L and Light have moved upstate NY. I wanted to do more in their new life.

L was absolutely shocked to find a girl standing at their front door. And not just any girl, a very attractive, voluptuous girl. She was a few inches shorter than Light. Her hair was medium in length, falling just to her shoulders. It was a chestnut brown and curled in waves in just the right spots. Her eyes were large and a piercing blue. Her lips were full and pursed seemingly at all times. But the worst part, the very worst part, was her curves.

The young woman had nice strong, long legs, a round, plump rump, and a waist that slimmed down to a slender size. Then once again she filled out on top, boasting a size C in her brassier according to L's calculations. She was by every definition of the word: luscious.

A deep, unhappy frown carved it's way through L's pale face. This girl…was exactly Light's old type. The type he went after when he'd been in Japan. The type he was magnetized to like some sort of proton. The type he'd have his hands all over in a matter of minutes if the girl was easy, and hours if she were resistant.

L did not like the girl.

Not one bit.

"Hi!" Her overly cheery voice cut through L's already fraying nerves even more sharply than any knife. He would have winced…if he weren't so very good at keeping his face like a stone when he wanted. And this girl…would only ever see a stone. L blinked at her as if she were the most boring creature on the planet. His dark eyes blank, he answered.

"And who are you?" His obvious distaste for her did nothing to dampen her mood.

"I'm Sheryl! I'm a coworker of Lights. From Comp Inc."

"Yes I'm very aware of the company Light works at, thank you," he snipped. "Why are you here? Comp Inc is in the next town over."

"Oh, well I heard he's been sick. He hasn't come in for the past three days! It's not like Light to miss work." L grimaced internally. He did not like this at all. Light worked with this girl, this…Sheryl. He was with her everyday, for eight hours. And if she was concerned about his absence, then…it meant they were work buddies. And in L's opinion…Sheryl wanted to be more. A coworker didn't travel all the way into the next town to check on a sick teammate unless she had an ulterior motive. L's frown deepened.

"Did you need him for something?" L asked.

"Well no."

"Is the company unable to function without his massive intellect for a few days?"

"N…no. We're doing fine. I ju…"

"Is anyone else at the company intelligent enough to assemble and program computers?"

"O…of coarse! We only…"

"Then there is no need to drive so far out of your way to disturb him while he's ill. Is there?" Sheryl frowned, her overly cheerful expression finally diminishing.

"Look! I was just worried ok? I thought I'd say hello. I brought soup!" She reached behind her to the shopping bag she carried and pulled out a can of chicken soup. L eyed it distastefully.

"Soup. Yes. That will cure the flu in a jiffy. In fact, the solution of this was so simple; scientists have overlooked it for decades. My God…you're brilliant." Sheryl's pretty blue eyes narrowed, anger finally starting to play across her face.

"Look you! You're being awfully rude to someone who's just trying to be nice!"

"You're not trying to be nice. You're trying to win your way closer to Light than you have been able to thus far in work conditions. In able for you to grow closer to him, you realized that you'd have to start seeing him outside of work. Now that you are here, holding a can of chicken noodle soup, I'm one hundred percent certain that you have already tried to engage Light to meet you outside of the office. Because he's said no, you felt the need to up the anti by visiting his home while he's incapacitated. While delirious with fever and unable to think clearly, you assumed he would allow you to take care of him. After all, he'll take any comfort he can get in such a state. So no, you're not being nice. You're playing a very good hand of cards."

Sheryl blinked in dumb founded astonishment. But after only a few seconds of complete silence, where a bird chirped behind her, she recovered. She quickly put her hand on her hips.

"So I want to be his friend. So what?"

"Not friend. You're trying to work your way up past that. I dare say you were planning on making a move on him today."

"What! You're insane! You're the most jealous person I've ever met in my life! What, Light can't have a female friend? Are you that threatened? I thought he was gay. If he's gay, then you certainly have no reason to fear me!"

"But I am not certain that he's gay. In fact, I'm sure that the only man he's ever been attracted to, is me."

"I can't see why! You're a lunatic!" L felt a brief stab at the insult and the ones prior. He never appreciated being called crazy. "Besides, even if I _was_ after Light, which I'm _not_, shouldn't you trust him not to fool around with anyone else? Or is it that you think you're not good enough for him?" L felt something sharp pierce his chest. What was that? Not good enough for him? How ridiculous. L knew he was the only one on the entire earth who was good enough for him. The only one smart enough to even compare. Why, everyone else paled in comparison. Everyone else was a moron. Of course L was good enough.

But…he didn't exactly feel confident. Why was he threatened by this girl? Everything she said made sense. He shouldn't have worried at all. Light would set Sheryl straight and send her home. And of course, their relationship with one another had never been better, especially the last few days. L had enjoyed taking care of him, brining him soup, making him take his medicine, fluffing his pillows…doting on him at all hours. So then why did this girl upset him so?

"Let me in Lawliet. This is just getting silly." And after that statement, her smile returned full force. It was bright as day, and made L's stomach turn. She was more attractive than him. Maybe that was why he was threatened. She wasn't just pretty; she oozed sex appeal. L was aware of how scrawny and pale he was in comparison. Was that the only reason he felt threatened?

L frowned. There wasn't time to think about it now. Sheryl was waiting for an answer. If he took too long, she'd know she'd unsettled him. No…better to let her in. Show that he wasn't afraid. Show that he was confident in Light. That Light would send her away. L stepped aside, casually.

"Come on in."

"Thank you." Sheryl stepped across the threshold and into the small bungalow that L and Light had made their home a year prior. L felt his skin crawl. This was his sacred space. His safety zone. The place where L and Light were alone and themselves, for no one else to see. To let a potential threat into such a haven made him want to vomit. He closed the door behind Sheryl perhaps a bit more loudly than he'd meant to.

"Aw! What a cute place! It's nicely decorated too! Obviously Light chose the furnishings." That grated on L's nerves. True, he'd never much cared for decoration or interior design, he never cared for neatness or to match furniture, those were all Light's specialties, but still…it was an indirect insult to his personality.

"The kitchen is through that doorway." L pointed. Sheryl turned her head to look, but didn't seem at all interested in heating up her soup.

"Oh, we can do that later. Take me to Light first. I'm worried about him." L gritted his teeth at this next indirect insult.

"I'm doing a fine job of taking care of him, thank you."

"I didn't say you weren't. I just meant I'd like to see him for myself." L let out a small 'hmph.' It was the same thing as saying he was incompetent. Clearly the soup was just an excuse to get into the house. L already knew this, as he pointed out earlier, so the game was the same: lead her to Light to show he wasn't afraid. He moved toward the stairs to the left of the fireplace.

"He's in our bedroom," L said, using the word 'our' purposefully to prove a point. He shuffled over to the stairwell, making sure to lead and stay in front of Sheryl because of territorial feelings he was harboring. Reaching out to the banister he started to climb, girl in tow.

"Do you always hunch like that?" came the grating tones. L glowered, pleased that he was facing forward so Sheryl couldn't see.

"I have Scoliosis."

"What?"

"I said Scoliosis."

"I heard you. I just don't know what that is." Of course she had heard him. It was simply satisfying to force her to say "I don't know" out loud. It boosted his rapidly dwindling ego.

"I won't bother to explain it to you. Just know it accounts for my hunch." Sheryl at least had the tack not to say or ask anything else about it. The pair reached the top of the stairs. Once on the landing, L took a right down the small hall. The master bedroom was located at the end. Gently, L reached out a pale hand and pushed in the door.

Inside was something close to an infirmary. The room had acquired an extra folding table. That, and the two nightstands on each side of the bed, were loaded with medicines, foods, liquids, and comfort objects. The large king sized bed in the center had an extra quilt on it along with a heating blanket. A table tray stood on the floor beside the bed and next to that a bowl of water and a rag.

But of course, the object of most interest to both newly entered parties was the stricken man under the covers. Light Yagami was certainly not his usual tidy, suave self. Instead of his usual perfectly combed hair, he had a wet mop that stuck to his forehead in sweaty clumps. His fair skin was now pale and clammy. His flawless Japanese eyes had rings around them and seemed glazed. With a red and running nose and puffy eyes, he was much less than he usually presented himself as. Still…he managed to remain somewhat attractive. Or perhaps that was just L's viewpoint. Regardless, it didn't change the game he was playing with Sheryl.

"Here he is," L said dully. Having heard his partner's voice, Light shifted slightly in bed. He let out a brief groan of total misery.

"Law…liet…didjya bring the vitamins?" L was about to answer when Sheryl let out a squeal of paramount volume.

"Light! You look awful! My God!" She ran to Light's bedside, knocking the table tray aside as she did so. She immediately leaned over the flu-infested youth. L felt his teeth starting to grind together as he noted the way she was leaning. Her C cup breasts, complete with keyhole in her shirt were hanging directly over Light's stuffed nose. L felt his cheeks start to burn as his heart picked up pace with anger.

Light on the other hand, seemed too sick to notice. Instead, he appeared confused.

"U…uh? Sheryl?" he blubbered, clearly confused at her presence.

"Yes! It's me! I was so worried! You haven't been to work in days!" Light blinked, his amber eyes lost through the fever.

"Wh…what? I had Lawliet call in. Doesn't the boss know I have the flu?"

"Yes! It's ok; you're not in trouble. I was just worried about your health. Here! I brought you some soup." She held out the can of chicken soup as an offering. Light blinked at it once, then reached out a weakened hand. He took it, then eyed it as if deciding what to think about it. Then…much to L's displeasure, he smiled.

"Thanks Sheryl, that's sweet." She giggled. Yes, giggled, like a schoolgirl. She even clasped her hands together, twisting them in front of her skirt bashfully. L felt that heat inside of him build.

_Light's just being polite. He has to, because he works with her and he doesn't want to make his work environment hostile. Now that the soup has been delivered, he'll tell her to leave, _he thought. L watched, his dark eyes growing ever more critical.

Light gently lay the soup can aside on one of the overly crowded nightstands. Sheryl took immediate notice of the clutter.

"Light, it's not like you to be messy. I always imagined your room to be neat and tidy." Light smiled through his fever.

"Ah well, that's all Lawliet's doing. He's made an impressive mess while caring for me. Once he takes something out, he doesn't put it away!" Light chuckled then. And Sheryl started to laugh too; in that shrill, pitchy voice of hers. L grimaced. His teeth slid together so harshly that it caused a painful chill to run through his skull. He wasn't going to take that lying down.

"For both of your information, I left the items out purposefully so that Light can have them in easy reach. I, myself, will also be able to retrieve them much more quickly in an emergency. I think it best to have Light comfortable while ill, instead of me wasting valuable time searching through the bathroom cabinet in the next room." There. That was a solid defense. Although it was partly true…L was aware that he could have stood to put a lot of other things away. Like Light's old dishes…and the stale cups of water.

"That's no excuse for half of this mess," Sheryl said immediately. She quickly reached out, grabbing a few of the aforementioned dishes. "I know Light. He likes things clean. He'll feel better in a neater environment. It might help him heal faster too." Light, to all of L's horror, seemed very pleased with this idea of tidying up.

"Hey, thanks Sheryl." His voice was garbled and he croaked a bit with the scratchiness of his esophagus, but still the tones were clear. L found himself not knowing how to handle the sudden intensity of his discontent. It was building rapidly.

Acting without thinking, something L rarely ever did, but found he succumbed too more and more often in his new life, he lashed out, grabbing a few of the other dirty dishes. Without saying a word, he started to clean up along side Sheryl. He moved quickly, almost too quickly, as if it were a race. As if the person who cleaned the most would win something. After he had an armload, he raced down the stairs. He threw the dishes into the sink, then immediately started back up to get some more. He passed Sheryl on the way. She was humming merrily, a pleasant smile on her face. This, of course, only made L unhappier.

After his second armload, when L entered the kitchen, he found Sheryl washing her load…_and_ his. She obviously wasn't concerned about speed, but the quality of her cleaning. L, feeling as if he were being defeated at every turn, plopped his dirty dishes in the sink where Sheryl cheerily turned to smile at him.

"Thanks for helping Lawliet!" She grinned. With dazzling teeth. _I have nice teeth too! _L argued in his mind. And it was true. Despite the junk he often ate, he had once been one of the richest men on the earth. As such, all of his damage had been taken care of before he met Light Yagami. Of course, now that his circumstances had changed, L was much more careful with his teeth. And of course, he wasn't eating as much garbage any more either. He hoped to preserve their glimmering whiteness. But still…her smile bugged him because it meant she was unfazed and unworried about this competition. She was confident. Sure she could win. That…and she was much cuter when she smiled than L was.

When L smiled…he felt like he only came across as creepy, or even a bit deranged. He was certain that…he wasn't cute. And he wasn't handsome like Light. He knew he wasn't charming either. The only thing he could think of that he had over this girl was his intellect. And that was failing him miserably in the face of beauty.

Having gotten no answer from Lawliet, Sheryl turned back to her task of washing. Not knowing what else to do, L meandered back up the stairs and to the bedroom to see what he could do for Light. He entered the room and Light immediately looked up.

"Hey Lawli," he croaked. L shuffled over to the side of his bed. Wanting, no, _needing_ to feel useful, like he was needed, L immediately remembered the vitamins. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the bottle of pills.

"Here, this has all the vitamins your body will need to help its immune system. You'll fight this off twice as quickly. You should take one every day. I'll remind you." L didn't wait for a response. He twisted off the cap and dumped one of the pills into his palm. After closing the bottle, he did with it what he did everything else; he placed it on the already jammed nightstand.

He wasn't conscious of it. It was simply the way he was. His mind was always thinking of other things, things more important or more concerning to him than a potential mess. But it didn't get passed Light, even in his degenerative state. He chuckled softly. But this seemed like a bad thing for him to do, for it immediately turned into a cough. He lifted his hand, covering his mouth weakly as the coughs wracked his body. They were quite violent sounding and L could not help but to furrow his brow. He felt bad. He had felt bad for every moment Light had been sick. He sometimes didn't feel like he knew what to do, when in truth he did. And he knew very well that he was doing everything right and by the book. Still…it was hard to watch Light suffer from a virus that had to be waited out. There was no magic pill for the flu.

"Raito…" Eager to help, L turned to the nightstand to find his water glass. It took a few seconds to locate due to the mess, but he spotted it and grabbed it up. He was dismayed to find it full. "Raito! The key to speedy recovery and even comfort during recovery is to drink as much liquids as you can! It's the number one helping factor in a fight against a virus! Even more so than pills, which only mask symptoms and bring you comfort. Water actually helps _cure_ you!"

"I hack know that." His coughing fit diminished and when it did he found himself looking up at a stern, yet worried ex-detective.

"Then why didn't you drink this? At least some of it!"

"I'm queasy, ok?"

"No! Not ok! Water is the best thing for you, even if you are queasy. Water is the lightest thing you can ingest. It will help with your queasiness once it's ingested. Even more so than broth." Light looked completely miserable. It was clear he wanted to argue. Tell L that water could indeed make him sick. But…he just didn't have it in him.

"Whatever…"

"Here!" L handed Light both the vitamin pill and the glass of water. Light took them. He sighed briefly, then did as he was ordered and popped the pill in his mouth. Then he tipped back the glass and swallowed a single gulp of water.

It was at this time that Sheryl came back into the room smiling.

"I finished the dishes for you Light. And I…" But her voice trailed off as both she and L watched Light's face turn a pale shade of green.

"…ugh…" was the only, brief warning L had to grab the wastebasket from beside the bed. He expertly thrust it underneath Light's chin just in time. L and Sheryl both winced as Light lost his vitamin and his singular gulp of water. His back heaved and his body shuddered as it rejected something so simple. But luckily…for everyone involved…it was over quickly. After all, Light's stomach didn't have much to give up. L reached out a pale hand, gently resting it on Light's back as he remained over the basket. He breathed heavily, almost gasping for air.

"I'm sorry Raito…"

"I told you…wheeze water would gasp make me sick…"

"You _forced _him to drink when he said he was queasy?" Sheryl asked in something close to disbelief. It was almost as if Light had told her that L ran over rabbits in the car for fun. L's head immediately snapped in her direction.

"Water is essential! To all living things! Our bodies are made up of 75 water! If Light doesn't drink, his fever will run ramped! It literally could kill him! I'd have to hospitalize him! And I'm not doing that! It's better to try! If he can't keep it down, then we'll need an IV drip. That's how important drinking is when you're sick! If you don't drink, your fever can melt your brain inside it's skull like an egg!"

"Whatever Lawliet! Causing him to throw-up made him lose way more liquid than not taking a sip of water would have. Just admit that you've never taken care of a sick person before. You have no idea what you're doing."

"I might not have taken care of anyone who was ill before, but that doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing! He needs liquids and rest and comfort! He can take medicines for symptoms, but nothing for the flu. Fever reducers are key!"

"Yeah? And what about cleaning up? I bet there are germs all over this place."

"Of course there are! Germs are everywhere and at all times! 98 of them are harmless!"

"But Light has the flu! He'll spread it over the house. You're a slob!"

"And _you_ have ulterior motives for being here!" The room fell silent at that. For a moment, no one spoke. But then, carefully, Light cleared his ragged, burning throat.

"What's all this about?" Sheryl let out a huff of frustrated air and threw her arms out to their sides.

"Lawliet here has some stupid idea that the reason I came over was to _steal_ you away from him." She scoffed, then rolled her eyes. L felt his cheeks suddenly start to burn. He realized quite clearly that what Sheryl said was both true…and it sounded ridiculous. But he knew his fears were legitimate. His logic was never wrong. He could read people like open books. She _was_ trying to steal Light. It just wasn't obvious yet, because these were the beginning stages. But to have her out and say it like that made L seem like he were unbalanced and crazily, unjustly, jealous. It was a very well played hand on Sheryl's part. Light slowly shifted his swollen eyes to his lover.

"Lawliet…is this true?" L's embarrassment only grew. He quickly looked away and to the side, his ebony bangs hanging to cover his dark eyes.

"That…that's a terrible way to phrase it. But yes…it is true. She used the chicken soup as an excuse to see you outside of work. She's interested in becoming closer to you. I let her in so that…you could send her away…" Light sighed with frustration, his harsh breath interrupting L's explanation of his actions.

"Lawliet, I'm too sick for this. I don't have the energy. I know how important games usually are to you…to both of us, but I just don't have it in me right now. I can't play. I can't read your movements, or what it is you want me to do or say without you telling me. I would have never guessed you wanted me to tell Sheryl to leave. I can barely keep my eyes open. I can hardly speak clearly…" As if to demonstrate, his voice flittered off and away as if he lost all of his air. But then he took another breath and continued.

"I can't tell if Sheryl in here as a coworker, a friend, or possibly if she's looking for more. And honestly, I don't care. I was happy for the company and to see someone in the outside world cared about my absence. And I was glad she cleaned up a bit. If you didn't want her here, you shouldn't have let her in. And if you wanted me to tell her to leave, you should have said so."

L felt himself starting to tremble. He was indignant. He was humiliated and enraged all at once. How could Light say such things? How could he say that he didn't care of Sheryl had ulterior motives? And he said he had been enjoying her company? Did that mean he liked her? As a friend? Hopefully? Surely he didn't _enjoy_ the prospect of a young attractive girl lusting after him? Did he?

"Lawliet, from what I've seen, Sheryl hasn't done anything wrong. You're probably just being overprotective because I'm sick…and because…well…because I'm all you have."

"But I'm all you have too!" L blurted out sharply. "Everything else is gone! We left everything!"

"But the difference between you and me is that I'm social. I've already made a lot of friends Lawliet. It's easy for me. Sheryl is one of them. We get along at work. You should be polite to her." L felt his chest start to tighten. It was true. Light did have friends. He made them early on. And L…well…L spent most of his time inside. He had a stay-at-home job after all. He'd continued his linguist job from Atlanta. It was easy to do over the Internet without ever dealing with people. It suited him. He was never good at dealing with people face to face and in person. From behind a screen where no one could see you, sure, but never in person. And his troubles with dealing with people in real life had never bothered him…until now.

It was as if…as if…Light was saying…he didn't need L as much as L needed him. As if Light was saying there were other things in his life other than L, which of course was true. But for L not to have those other things…well…that made him needy and over-protective. That was what he was saying. He was saying…that L was as socially inept as he ever was back in Japan.

"I have friends too!" he cried indignantly. "K…Katie! At the ice cream shop! We're friends!" L watched in total dismay as Light's expression softened in that way it did when he felt bad for L. When he was taking pity. L felt the pressure grow even further. He could barely take it. His trembling increased at that look.

"Even so…you should try to be nicer to Sheryl. She's trying to take care of me too. She's worried about me, just like you are. Ok?" L almost choked.

"Just like I am?" And through the indignation and the humiliation, he felt the same anger from earlier boil to life. It took over him quickly, flooding his already trembling body.

"She worries about you just like I do?" he seethed. "Is that what you think? You think that someone else, some…some coworker of yours could worry about you the same way _I_ do? You think we're the same?" Light, seeming to realize that he had said something the wrong way, started to change his expression. It fell to sudden worry. Even through his dazed mind he was able to understand just how L was taking those words.

"No, Lawliet, I didn't mean…" But it was far too late for apologies. The pressure inside of L had become too much, and he did what he always did when his emotions overrode him, he let them out.

"I'm sorry I'm not a social butterfly! I'm sorry I'm not a neat freak who cleans up every crumb! I'm sorry I don't have size C breasts, ok! But I'm me! And I won't change! Not for anyone! Not even you Light Yagami! If you love Sheryl's company so damned much, have _her_ take care of you! She's easier to look at!" And with that, he turned and started to storm out of the bedroom.

"Lawli-!" Light tried to call out, but the volume was too much for his lungs and throat. He immediately began coughing again. L ignored him as Sheryl ran to his side to help. Light couldn't do much of anything as L stomped down the stairs. He listened through his fit as the front door slammed.

Light's body wracked as his lungs burned. Still…all he could think of was how Lawliet had probably forgotten to put on his sandals…or his coat. And the late October air was crisp. At least it was the warmest part of the day…but still…temperatures were around fifty.

And of course, L's words also plagued him. Light realized he'd phrased things poorly. He knew he could fix most of it with explanation, but there were a few things in L's outburst that he hadn't been aware of until now. _She's easier to look at…_ he thought sadly. That was what L had said. And Light knew perfectly well what that meant. Even the flu allowed him to realize its meaning. L didn't appreciate his appearance. It meant that a lot of his insecurities with Sheryl had to do with how he viewed himself. And judging by that statement and his poor attitude toward Sheryl…well…Light imagined that L must have thought of himself as not only unattractive, but he possibly thought of himself as ugly.

Light wanted nothing more than to go to him. Tell him how wrong he was. Explain to him that the things people had said to him in the past; the kids at the orphanage, his caretakers, people on the street, they were all wrong. Light wanted to tell him…the things he saw. Light wanted him to understand that L was a very attractive person. But…alas, he could not.

His coughing fit had diminished, but it left him ragged, exhausted. His fever flared from the exertion it took to argue and stress. He sighed heavily, trying to ignore how heavy his chest felt.

"Lawli…" Sheryl, seeing Light's distress leaned over him carefully. She gazed at him with concerned blue eyes.

"Hey…y…you want me to go after him for you?" Light blinked. He gazed up at Sheryl. She had a sweet face, and kind eyes. He tried to look deeper, analyze her, see if what L was saying about her wanting to steal him was true. But…he couldn't. His vision swam and it flared red from the fever. He let out a groan and let his head loll to the side. No…she was safe. Surely. Obviously L was over-reacting. He had a right to. After all, he felt threatened and ugly. And Light couldn't fix it unless L was here to set straight. So, he nodded weakly.

"Yeah…bring him his jacket and his sandals. I don't want him getting sick too…" He sighed heavily, his eyes trying to flutter shut. It was so hard just to stay awake, forget actually assessing Sheryl's motives. L was just upset. He'd see she was just a friend once he calmed down. Surely.

Sheryl smiled kindly and patted Light's sweaty head.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it. You rest. I'll be right back with Lawliet." Light nodded and almost immediately after being reassured that L would be ok, he drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Insults

**Author's Note:** I know it's later than I promised. But things keep happening in my life. But despite it all, here it is!

_______________________

"One scoop please," came L's defeated voice from over the counter. Katie blinked, peering over the glass where the flavors of ice-cream rested. Her bright, leaf-green eyes stopped when they found L hunched far more then usual. He was coatless, shoeless, and had both of his pale hands shoved deeply into his pockets. But of course, the biggest tip-off that something was wrong wasn't just his dress, it was the fact that everyone in town knew that Light was sick. And L, of course, was never anywhere but at Light's side. To see him alone in the ice-cream shop was almost shocking. It was even more-so when he didn't offer a greeting. The bell rang, he walked over and simply requested a single scoop. No 'hello' or 'how've you been.'

Katie rose to her full height, leaving her cleaning for later. She faced L full-on, observing him. Katie may have only been seventeen years old, but she was still fairly certain that she knew enough about the people in her town to read them. L especially. After all, he wasn't just her best customer, she considered him a friend. But she wasn't sure if he viewed her that way. He was often quiet about things, and didn't bother to come see her when she was off from work.

"One scoop?" Katie questioned. She glanced to the clock hanging on the wall. It was lunchtime. She knew perfectly well about L's struggles with sugar products. And she also knew that when he was privileged enough to get a sweet, it was at a good time where it wouldn't ruin his real meals. She was fairly certain that this would substitute any lunch he would have.

"Lawliet, it's twelve noon," she said.

"I'm aware if the current time," he said quietly.

"But what about your diet? You're supposed to be careful with sweets, remember?"

"Of course I remember," he answered equally as softly as the first. "Never the less, I would enjoy one scoop of Strawberry Swirl Cheesecake please." Katie's brow furrowed. Something wasn't right. L wasn't acting as himself.

"Lawliet? What's the matter? Where's your coat? Did you and Light fight?" L was quiet for some time. Katie observed him carefully. His dark, ink colored eyes focused on the tub of Strawberry Swirl Cheesecake just underneath the glass counter. But they never flickered or faltered. He looked almost eerie as he stood unmoving.

"Katie…we…we're friends…aren't we?" Katie blinked in surprise. It was a strange question to be coming from L. He just wasn't the type to talk about things like that out loud. She quickly tucked a loose strand of her short copper hair behind her ear.

"Of course we are," she responded automatically, even though a few seconds ago she was wondering if L even thought of her in that way. But now that it was confirmed, there was nothing between them. And Katie was thrilled at the idea. She'd always liked L. He was a good man. "What a strange question. Lawliet…tell me what's going on."

L lifted his head then, finally gazing at Katie directly. He took the few remaining steps over to the counter until his white shirt was up against the glass. He leaned in, putting himself in Katie's space as he often did with people when analyzing them. And Katie knew quite well that she was being analyzed. Still…it didn't make it any less awkward.

"Uh…Lawliet?" He stood like that for a moment more, his dark eyes digging into her. But it only lasted a short time. After a few more moments, he sighed, and then brought himself back away from her.

"Could I have my scoop? I'll confide in you after I'm comfortably seated." Katie nodded. Of course he'd want his ice-cream first. She quickly rushed to deliver. Knowing quite well that L usually liked his ice cream in a dish rather than a cone, for one had to grip a cone firmly in the palm of ones hand in order to eat it, and L just never seemed to hold things that way, she grabbed one of the plastic bowls. Flipping open the glass top of the freezer before her, she expertly took her scoop and got to work. Only a moment later, she handed L his ice cream from across the counter.

He took it in his hands, and as he started over toward one of the small tables near the corner, Katie knew enough to join him. Having no other customers around and the boss being away on an errand, she was quite free to do as she pleased for a while. And so, she hurried around the counter and over to the table L had picked. As usual, the man curled up in his chair as if he were a small child. Katie, of course, was used to seeing this and it didn't surprise or bother her any more.

Once L seemed settled, his first spoon of his treat already in his mouth, Katie leaned forward expectantly.

"So? What happened? Maybe I can help." L blinked, gazing at her dully from across the table. He assessed her. She was somewhat excited. He would have been insulted if he didn't understand what went along with someone of her age. Of course she was excited. Light and himself were the only gay couple in town. It was a small, sleepy little upstate town. And although L and Light had never had trouble and had even been supported by some, the town still had never experienced such a pairing. Even adults sometimes liked to gossip about it. They had little to do other than their jobs, which were settled and secure. They also did a lot of town and family events, some of which L and Light attended, but other than this, their spare time was filled with chit-chat. That, and Katie was a seventeen year old girl working in an ice cream shop in late October. There wasn't much else for her to do on this particular day. So L could understand her eagerness for something less mundane. Still, he released a sigh.

"Some woman from Light's company came over to visit today," he said. Katie's leaf-green eyes stared at L intently. Clearly she was waiting for more. L took a second spoonful. "She's very attractive. She made me feel quite inferior. And what is worse is that I know for fact that she has an interest in Light romantically."

"Really? A fact? Wow! How do you know something like that?"

"It's simple. She came over in the middle of a workday. Today is Tuesday. The time is currently two-fifteen. She should be at work. This means she either skipped the entire workday, or is taking an outrageously long lunch. No one would do something like that unless they thought they had something to gain. If she were really the friend she claims to be, she would have come during the weekend, or at night after work was over. Furthermore, she brought a can of chicken noodle soup.

The soup is an excuse. If she were really coming just to see how Light was doing, she would have come with nothing. But because she brought the soup but no claim to nurse Light back to health, well…it's hypocritical.

This added to the fact that she's already admitted to asking to see Light outside of work, equals a very strong argument. And of course, if you could have seen her fussing over Light and the room and the dishes, well…you wouldn't have any doubt either."

He finished his explanation by munching on a third spoonful. Katie at first only stared. But then suddenly, her face twisted up into a trembling smile as she struggled to suppress herself. But she very well couldn't, and instead, burst out laughing. L, startled, looked up from his dish, spoon still in his mouth and eyes wide. Katie continued to laugh; her green eyes squinted shut in amusement. L was not amused. He glowered from over his spoon. Katie, of course saw his sour expression and tried to get a handle on herself.

"I'm sorry Lawliet! It…it's just that…I don't think I've ever seen you act jealous before!" She snorted, still struggling to contain her amusement. L frowned, slowly removing the spoon from his mouth.

"Perhaps I am jealous. Don't I have the right?"

"Oh, Lawliet, you have nothing to worry about." Katie finished laughing, but a grin remained on her face as she leaned her elbows on the tabletop in order to rest her chin in her hands. "Light loves you. I've seen how much you two really love each other. He's crazy about you. Let's say this woman from his work place really did want Light for herself. Let's say she was a horrible sleazy woman and just threw herself at Light. What do you think would happen?" L rested his spoon in his dish as he met Katie's eyes. He understood exactly what she saw saying to him.

"He would…he would push her away."

"That's right. And he'd probably get really mad too, and tell her that he was already with you, right?" L's dark eyes shifted to the ground in something close to embarrassment.

"Of course he would…"

"Yeah. See? Even if she does want him, she can't have him. Because he loves you." L was quiet for a long while. His dark eyes remained glued to the side. Then, hesitantly, he opened his mouth.

"I suppose…my insecurities…aren't with Light at all…but with myself." Katie blinked, her smile dwindling at this statement.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…I understand that Light would never…he would never cheat on me. I know that. But I suppose…the reason I was so threatened…is because I don't understand…why or how Light could pick me over other people…like Sheryl. She keeps things neat and tidy, the way Light likes them. She's compassionate and caring. She seemed genuinely worried for Light's health. And she's much more attractive than me. In comparison…it's easy to see that I am a selfish man. Childish. Cold at times. I like to play games…and have things my way. And I'm…I'm not…attractive."

Katie's face saddened the more L spoke. She had no idea that such a confident man, a man so intelligent and so sure of himself could actually feel almost the exact opposite of what he conveyed to others.

"I yelled at Light before I left the house. I told him…that I wouldn't change. For anybody. Not even him. And it's sadly true. This is who I am. I've been this way for as long as I can remember. Selfish…childish. And I do not understand…I cannot see why he would want that over someone like Sheryl. She's so similar to him…"

"Lawliet," Katie reached out, resting her hand on top of L's pale fingers.

"It doesn't matter what Light's reasons are. He loves _you_. And that's all that should matter. The why, isn't important. He chose you. That means he values you over neatness and any of those other things you're worried about. Ok?" She smiled at him reassuringly. "You should have more confidence in yourself. You're a really cool person. I can see why Light likes you no problem!"

L quickly blushed. He wasn't used to receiving such compliments.

"I…ok, yes. I will go back and…and apologize for my outburst." Seemingly ready to forget all about his ice cream, L went to stand. But stopped to face Katie first. "Thank you Katie. You're a very good friend." She smiled.

"No problem. Anytime. Tell me how it works out tomorrow!" L nodded and he was just about to stand when the bell to the shop chimed. In walked Sheryl, looking as glamorous and as attractive as L remembered. He sighed, his shoulders sagging. He knew exactly why she'd come. It meant he'd probably both worried and angered Light. Katie, seeing L's expression, immediately understood who this was.

"Is that Sheryl?" she whispered, leaning in across the table. L nodded curtly. Sheryl, easily spotting the only two people in the shop, walked over to the table. L was humiliated to see her carrying both his coat and sandals. She stopped beside the two friends.

"Hey…" she said softly. L didn't turn to look at her. She sighed. "Look Lawliet…I didn't mean to threaten you, ok? When we get back to the house, I'm going to leave. I never wanted to cause trouble. I just wanted to see Light, ok?" L turned to look at the girl. Not because he was convinced of her words, but rather to assess the truth of them by watching her face. After a quick look, he wasn't convinced. He was certain that she had come to the house to do the exact opposite of what she claimed. It was probably part of her plan. But to his dismay, Katie _was _convinced of Sheryl's act.

"See Lawliet? It's not as bad as you thought. Why not trust her and Light?" L frowned, but nodded. He wanted to get home. And this was the quickest way. If he simply agreed…he could get back to Light. Then he could apologize, and explain properly why he lost his temper. Then he and Light could discuss what they could do. L didn't want to fight with Light. Not while he was sick. No…he wanted to take care of him and see to it that he got better. He had the flu after all. He was suffering.

"Ok," he said softly. He uncurled himself, getting up and out of the chair. "Thanks for the ice cream Katie." Sheryl handed L his sandals and he slipped into them easily. Then she handed him his coat, which he also put on. As the two were getting ready to leave, Sheryl smiled sweetly at Katie.

"It's nice to see Lawliet has such good friends. I'll make sure to tell Light you took are of him." Katie beamed, clearly happy with this idea.

"Ok! Nice to meet you Sheryl. Bye!" The two stepped out of the ice cream shop and into the brisk October air. L lifted his nose once they were out in order to enjoy it more fully. It had that nip in it that he liked so much. Not frigidly cold…but cold enough to clear a person's lungs and even their mind. It was his favorite time of year. There was something reassuring about a season of change. Even the trees took part in dressing up in brilliant colors of fire reds and sunshine yellow. And it was also somehow appropriate for his birthday to reside in such a season. Things needed to die before they could start over. It was the dying part that seemed so necessary before rebirth. Just like…how he and Light had to die before they could become more than what they were back in Japan.

"You're a piece of work Lawliet, you know that?" L blinked, distracted from his somewhat comforting thoughts, as he heard Sheryl's voice. He looked over to the girl and found her standing with her arms crossed over her chest. Her large, pink, bottom lip stuck out in a look of disdain.

"Light's sick as a dog with the flu and you take the moment to yell in his face and then abandon him. I seriously don't get what he sees in you at all." L was quiet for a moment. It was difficult to answer, because as he had just told Katie, L didn't really understand what Light saw in him either. So he said nothing at all about it. Instead, he turned toward the sidewalk, which would lead to the side road that marked the way back to the bungalow.

"Shall we get going? Light sent you to fetch me."

"Actually, it was my idea," Sheryl said. She fell in step beside L, her arms still crossed over her chest. "I saw that he was upset about your little scene and asked him if I could go fetch you. Because unlike _some_ people, I actually give a shit about how he feels. Especially when he's ill."

"You're not as sweet as you were around Light and Katie." L observed casually, his tones even and cool.

"No shit. I act more kindly toward people I _like._ But _you_ I don't like. I see no need to treat you respectfully if you're going to treat not only me, but Light so poorly." L didn't answer this time either. It made sense. There was no reason for Sheryl to be kind when she so clearly hated him. But L still would have expected her to keep up her façade of being an angel. Clearly, she was not. No matter how many dishes she washed for Light or how many smiles she sent Katie's way. If she could act this poorly, even if she was treated disrespectfully first…it meant it wasn't her true nature. L at least, did not try to hide his nature. In fact, he'd come right out and admitted it to Katie only a few moments ago.

"You know Lawliet, I know there's something weird about you. I mean, more than the obvious freaky things you do, like the way you hunch and the way you sit. Anyone who's normal can see you're a freak. But I mean there's more than that. You've got tons of secrets, don't you?" L sighed. He did not appreciate being called a freak. And he further didn't appreciate Sheryl's line of conversation.

"I fail to see how my past or habits are any of your business."

"Well they are, because I'm going to find out whatever it is your hiding and expose you." L wasn't worried. Sheryl simply wasn't smart enough to uncover anything dangerous to L and his safety. She could not possibly find out about Kira and L the detective. The worst she could uncover would be simple things that Light clearly already knew about and that the rest of the world wouldn't bother with. L knew quite well that she was simply spouting whatever she could to try and get a rise out of him.

"Light already knows all of my secrets. He's not bothered by any of them. So exposing me to him would not help you in your plans." Sheryl, let out a huff of air. Clearly she believed this to be true. And of course it was.

"Would this cute little town care?"

"Possibly. But Light would care more. And he would most certainly despise you for trying to harm me." Sheryl let out another huff at the realization that this was also true. _The truth is always the best weapon. No one can argue against it. _ But it seemed Sheryl wasn't about to give up. Even as they left the town and started down the road, surrounded by reds and bright yellows. The trees were the brightest they would be. Soon, they would start letting their leaves fall by the dozens.

L's thoughts drifted back toward the pleasant ones he was having before Sheryl had so rudely interrupted them. The cold weather would of course bring new joys. L was looking forward to spending his second Halloween with Light this year. He didn't really count the year before, because he'd been so gravely injured after Webber's attack. After all…during this time the previous year, he'd only been in the hospital a month. He recalled having just started his physical therapy. There had been no time or pleasure in a holiday, or even his birthday. But this year…this year would be different. L imagined candy apples, and a quaint party in town, maybe at the meeting hall. Light of course, wuld at first act as if he didn't want to go, as if he were too good for a party like that. But then he'd give in, realizing that despite L's passiveness about it, he wanted to go too. And of course, there would be Trick or Treaters this year too. They'd have to buy some candy and…

"Well then, let me just say this Lawliet, before we get back to the house," L sighed, brought out of his pleasant thoughts yet a second time by Sheryl's unrelenting voice. "You're first impression of me was dead on. I _am_ trying to steal Light away from you." L sighed. He'd already known that. But to hear her admit it was disheartening somehow. "And what's more is that I'm going to succeed. I already have so many up on you. I'm his age, I'm a neat freak like he is, we both work in the same environment, and I'm far _far_ more attractive than you." L sighed inwardly yet again. He knew she was just trying to upset him, but that last crack struck home. He paid careful attention to keeping himself calm, cool and collected. He kept walking, ignoring her as she continued to say even more.

"That of course, and the biggest factor to which you admitted yourself. You said it, that you weren't actually sure he was gay. I know he dated girls before he met you. He talked about a few of them at work. It sounded to me like he only ever dated girls. That he never had anything to do with boys until he met you. Don't you think that means he's straight? Or even if he's bi, he leans more toward my playing field than yours. I at least know that he finds girls attractive. And I have more than enough equipment to tempt him with." L felt his patience waning. His frustration started to build all over again as it had at the house.

_Stay calm. If you say anything she wins. Don't take the bait._ But the problem was that she just wouldn't shut up.

"What do _you_ have to offer?" she jibed. "You're as thin as a rail. You look like a tree, especially with that poof of hair coming off the top of your head. Do you even comb it? What're you, a bum? Do you ever even shower? I mean, you don't smell, but you look like a tumbleweed. That and you're seven years older than Light, right? I mean pul-leeze! You look it too with those rings under your eyes. What're you, an insomniac or something? And you're so pale and sickly looking. Like a flower the frost killed over night. Do you ever eat? Or is it simply too nauseating for you to be stuck in such a deformed body? Even being viewed as a man, you have nothing to offer. No muscle, no definition. Even your ass is as flat as a board. I bet, with a body like yours, your dick is probably as small as y-!"

"That's enough Sheryl! You're acting like a fifth grader!" L snapped suddenly, cutting her off. He couldn't have possibly let her continue. Her words were burrowing. But of course, responding as he did, anger clearly in his tones, he'd given Sheryl exactly what she wanted. She'd gotten her rise, no matter how small. She smiled mischievously at him as he glared at her from over his shoulder. L stopped walking to face her properly. It was time to deal with this. He took a few steps forward until they were face to face, L was only a few inches taller than this threatening new life form. His pools of ink rested on her as coldly as ever.

"You've condemned yourself, miss Sheryl. I'll relay this entire conversation to Light when we return. And when I do, he'll destroy you. And if he doesn't _I_ will destroy you. I have the means to do so, I promise." But this sudden threat didn't seem to faze Sheryl at all. In fact, her smile only grew.

"Oh, oh please do. Please tell Light all of the nasty things I just said. He'll never _ever_ believe you after that outrageous and uncalled for fit you just had when you left the house. He'll never believe you after I've been nothing but sweet and caring toward not only him, but also you while in his presence. I'd _love_ to see his reaction, what he'd say to you if you accuse me of something so awful."

L froze. He'd never thought of something like that. He'd always assumed that whatever he told Light, Light would simply believe. But…this wasn't the case. Clearly, Light had been unhappy when L had told him his suspicions of Sheryl in the first place. He hadn't believed L then. Why would he believe something even more outrageous? Logic said he wouldn't. If L said something that outlandish, it would seem like a lie. And L had never been above lying. Light would jump to defend his co-worker as he had earlier in the day. And if that happened, his view of Sheryl would rise and his view of L would fall. He'd see L as jealous and unstable, and it would boost Sheryl's plan into effect.

No…L couldn't do that. Besides, Light was sick. He certainly didn't need such stress, such drama resting on his shoulders. No…he needed rest. _ I should handle this myself, _he thought. L looked to Sheryl again. He had no choice. He'd simply have to destroy her. And he had his ways.

"Fine. We will play the game your way," he said dangerously. L would squash her. He turned away from her and headed back toward the house. Sheryl, yet again fell in step beside him. She grinned fully from one ear to another. Undoubtedly, she had thought she outwitted one of the smartest men on Earth. But L knew better. She would get hers. And soon. No one made a fool out of him. No one. And no one threatened to take away the only thing he had in this world. Sheryl had no idea who she was really dealing with.


	3. Drugged

When L and Sheryl arrived home, they found Light asleep. As such, the war was put on hold. Sheryl let herself out and L wasted not an ounce of time. Fuming, blood pounding violently through his veins, he curled up in his swivel chair in front of his computer. Sheryl was going down. And he was going to take her down hard.

_I'll have her fired. No…not devastating enough. I'll have her evicted from her apartment. Yes. A few days being homeless ought to sober her up. Or…I could even do more than that. I'll foreclose her parent's house, so she has nowhere to go. She'll have to waste money on a hotel before the mortgage company has time to clear up the electronic mistake. Yeah. That'll do it. Her parent's house…_ But his trail of thoughts quickly dwindled. He hadn't even touched the keyboard yet, but his hands had been hovering just over it, waiting. He carefully and slowly lowered them to his bent knees. He pulled away, suddenly shocked at what he'd been contemplating.

_No. What a foolish idea. To drag innocent people into something so trifling. _He felt his heart pounding. He felt the thud of his blood racing through his chest and head. _Was I really so angry, that I'd contemplate such ludicrous things? Even if it was for only a moment? Did I really allow Sheryl to get to me that much? _L tried to quiet himself. He allowed his eyes to flutter closed. He concentrated on his breathing, which he was surprised to find fast and shallow. Yes…he had been that angry, that affected by her words.

He stayed still for a moment, allowing his heart time to slow, and his racing mind time to…well…it was always racing. But he gave it a moment to think of different things. Like how insane those last few moments of thought really were. Sure, he had the power to do such things, but that had never given him the right.

Things were different when chasing criminals. It was important to get them locked away, in order to protect the innocents such a criminal could harm. But even then…L had never involved the criminal's family unless he absolutely had to, or had no other choice. He had certainly never punished anyone.

_I've gone soft,_ he thought suddenly. And of course it was true. He'd chased thousands of wanted felons across the globe. He'd certainly been put through much more stress than this. He'd been put in situations where he was forced to choose between lives. Still, he'd been calm, unattached, and managed to do his job and find a way around such choices. But this time…

_It's personal,_ he thought. _I've never had a stake in something personal before. Those criminals, their victims, their families…I didn't know them. I certainly did not love them. But this…_L felt his breathing pick up pace a second time. He quickly tried to slow it back down. There was nothing to be upset about after all. Katie was absolutely right. L had no reason to fear losing Light. Light loved him. He would never leave him. Not after all they'd been through. No…that wasn't why he was so upset.

_It's because…she made fun of my appearance so savagely,_ he concluded. It suddenly seemed so stupid, so trivial. Why should he care what Sheryl said about his appearance? Why should he care what she thought? He shouldn't of course. That was the correct answer. But still…her words…they had dug down somewhere deep. To a spot that L had covered up and hid away. A spot where the other orphans pointed and laughed. A spot where the caretakers did nothing…and in the second orphanage, some even ebbed the children on.

L still remembered their laughing faces. He remembered how they would surround him. They were without remorse as they pulled his hair, pushed him into mud puddles, and kicked dirt into his face. _Freak! Ugly! _L had never done anything to antagonize them. He was simply singled out because he was small, pale, thin, sick and an easy target. His way of sitting, holding things and biting his fingers hadn't helped. And his hunch had been much worse back then.

_Quasimodo he's a weirdo! Quasimodo he's a weirdo! Quasimodo he's a weirdo!_

They had chanted relentlessly. L recalled being unable to take refuge under his bed, in closets, or even in the bathroom. The other kids always found him when they ran out of other ways to entertain themselves.

_He'll never be adopted by anyone who could actually love him._ He'd over heard the caretakers say.

He's just too odd for a child…

_An ugly little thing. _

L squeezed his knees tightly, almost painfully. Then suddenly, and without warning, he lashed out. With a brief cry, he'd violently cracked the back of his hand into the pencil holder. The poor plastic cup went flying, crashing into the sidewall next to his computer. It fell to the floor with a racket, the four pencils it held and two pens spilling out onto the wooden floor.

He sat in his chair, seething. His shoulders rose and fell as he breathed heavily. This was the reason he hated Sheryl so much. He knew it was unfair to lump the woes of his childhood on top of her, but he really could not help it. She invoked these types of feelings. And her words…possibly insignificant to some; carried a heavy weight to L. They hurt. Her childish words had hurt him.

_I hate her,_ he thought to himself. And it was odd, because he never could really recall hating anyone other than Kira. He disliked many people. Hell, during his days as a detective, he'd despised the world. But it had been a cold disliking. One where he simply wanted to detach himself from all others. This was much different. This was a hatred. And it burned like a fire. L recognized that he had been scorned, scalded even, by Sheryl's tongue. And L did not take it lightly. No…it had made him furious and humiliated all at once. And he realized as he sat there, hands clutching his shins that he still wanted to punish her. He hated the idea of letting her get away with saying such things. He wanted to do something, _anything_ no matter how insignificant.

"Lawli…?" L blinked suddenly, having not realized that he had his eyes squeezed shut. He was stiff, having grabbed his shins too tightly. But at the sound of Light's voice, his dark eyes moved toward the stairwell. There Light stood, in his flannels, a heavy blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He'd clearly just woken up. He was bleary eyed and dazed. And he still appeared ill, his skin white. He rubbed at his eye tiredly.

"Lawli…what's going on? I heard a racket." L glanced fleetingly to the pencil holder he had abused. It lay bleatingly on the floor, defeated. He quickly shifted his sight back to Light.

This was hard. L immediately wanted to tell Light everything that was happening. Explain to him the things Sheryl said, the reaction those words caused inside of him, his brief contemplation of punishing her. He wanted to tell him…and have Light comfort him and tell him that everything was fine, that L was just being silly. Then L would argue with him, and Light would insist that it was nothing to worry about. And eventually L would give in; because those were the words he wanted after all. But…

L looked Light over. He was hardly himself. He was ill. L was actually quite surprised he had clambered out of bed and down the stairs without falling. He seemed unstable, hazy, exhausted. He was still sick. L thought it would be unfair to lay any sort of unnecessary burden on him. How could he heal properly if he was stressed? And besides…L wondered if Light would believe him. As Sheryl had said…the accusations were outrageous against someone who seemed so innocent. Normally, maybe L would explain, because Light would be healthy enough to follow. But…with him in such a condition…how could L expect him to see through the woman's ruse?

L carefully uncurled himself from his chair. He stood up and started to walk toward his stricken lover.

"You shouldn't be out of bed Raito. You need your rest." Light gazed at L dully, squinting his normally brilliant almond eyes. He still seemed to catch that something was up.

"I heard a noise. Why were you at your computer?" L carefully put his hands on Light's shoulders and turned him back toward the stairs.

"The pencil holder fell over. We have a wooden floor. That's why it was so loud. I'm sorry I woke you." He started to guide Light back up the stairs, carefully making sure Light had his footing on each step.

"Did Sheryl go home?" L felt that heat from earlier swell slightly, simply at the mention of the girl's name.

"Yes, she's gone for the day," he said simply. "Watch your step on the landing." He managed to get Light back up the stairs, then he proceeded to guide him carefully down the hall. Still, despite Light's sickness, he was still picking up on L's odd behavior. That was why he'd descended the stairs in the first place. L was a normally a rather quiet person. To have made such a racket…and Light wondered if it really was an accident. True L wasn't the most graceful of people…but still, he'd been seated in his chair when Light had made it to the bottom of the stairs. Why would he still be seated if he'd accidentally knocked something over? Wouldn't he have bent to pick up the fallen object? Light had never been considered a stupid man. And even with the flu in his way, he understood something was happening.

"Lawliet...is…does this have something to do with Sheryl? I was worried when you left…is everything ok now?" Light wanted to shoot himself. He was coming off as needy. Not only that, but he was being far more direct than usual. He knew quite well that it was almost impossible to get anything out of L with such an open manner unless L wanted to. There were plenty of occasions, especially in the past year, where L had simply come out and told him things. But this seemed different somehow. L was hiding something.

_But why? Aren't I always here for him? Is he embarrassed about something?_

"I'll explain at a later date Raito, I promise. But as of right now, you're ill and you need your rest. There's no need to bother you until you're healthy." At that, Light immediately stopped dead in his tracks. He came to a halt, despite L's insistent hands on his shoulders. Light turned around slowly, his sweat covered expression coming to face L directly. What L had just said…it meant something was indeed going on. L admitted to it. But he was also saying it wasn't important, that it could wait until Light was healthy. Light knew exactly what that meant. It meant it was terribly important. Not insignificant in the slightest.

"Lawliet…I might be sick but I can still see that something's been going on around here today. I know you and Sheryl fought. But from what I saw at the house it wasn't anything spectacular. But the past few minutes I've seen you since I've been awake you've been acting far stranger than usual. I know something happened between you and Sheryl when she went out to fetch you. It's the only thing that makes sense…" Clearly, Light had wanted to say more, but he seemed out of breath. He gave himself a few seconds to recover, and then lifted his heavy head a second time.

"Tell me what's going on. I can handle it, I promise. There's no reason to protect me just because I have the flu. In fact, I think I'd feel a lot better if I was included in whatever kind of shit this is. I might be a little bit slower than usual, but that doesn't make me out to be the retard you're treating me as!"

L sighed, slowly lowering his hands from Light's shoulders. He saw it in his eyes; that usual flare he always had. Light had always had this fiery spirit. He was interested, and interesting at the same time. His intellect was dazzling, matching L's on several occasions. The kid…no…the man before him…was sharp as a tack. Why, even now, riddled with fever and discomfort…he knew. He knew quite well what was happening around him. And L knew he hadn't been fair. Light had every right to be angry. He had those sharp tones he acquired when he felt necessary. His words could be barbed, hurt at times if the handsome youth wasn't careful. But this time…L knew he deserved a few more biting tones then just these. Light was being lenient with his usual temper. L was certain that the only reason for this was because his edge was ebbed by the fever. Light didn't have the energy to bring out his usual level of wrath.

Still…L felt the effect of his words, just as he had felt the affect of Sheryl's. And L knew very well that Light's words carried much more weight than Sheryl's did. He sighed, his shoulders sagging as he shifted his dark eyes to the side. Looking at it now…L wondered if he had actually ever believed that Light wouldn't believe him. It was more of an issue of embarrassment. He simply didn't want to admit to this.

Light let out a rush of hot air as he lifted his arms and crossed them over his chest.

"Lawliet, you tell me what the hell is going on right now! You have no right to treat me this way just because I have a virus! I worry about you just the same!" L sighed heavily a second time. He did want to tell him. Yet he didn't. He shifted his gaze to his other side, passing over Light's face as he did so. He would not look at him. This seemed to only infuriate Light further. His face tensed and also started to turn red. That, L did not like. It would increase his fever.

"Lawliet! Answer me!" But despite L's worry, his answer blurted out of him as quickly and as instinctively as ever.

"I'm not a dog. You can't order me to speak."

"Oh like hell I can't! I have every right to demand an answer out of you!" Light let out another rush of hot air, his face growing redder still. "We're partners in case you've forgotten! So, yes! I have every…" he gasped in a bit of air. "I have every right!" L wanted to argue. His face tensed as if he were preparing too. He felt the next batch of words he wanted on the tip of his tongue. But as he watched Light's face grow even redder still…his breathing becoming more shallow…

L let out a rush of frustrated air, and then quickly came forward. He reached out, grabbing and steadying his love.

"Don't get so worked up. I…I'll help you to the bed. Then I…I promise I will tell you ok? Just relax." This seemed to work, and Light began to calm. The coloring in his face started to return to its usual sickly, clammy color. He smiled weakly. It seemed like something he should have planned in order to get L to speak. But he hadn't. He'd been too sick to think of milking his own condition. Or perhaps, as he'd like to tell himself, he had thought of it, subconsciously, and had pulled an entire plan off without fully realizing its potential. Yeah…sure. That's what he'd done. And so, he allowed L to walk him back into their bedroom.

Carefully, tenderly, L helped his lover back down onto the sheets. He pulled the heavy blankets back for him, and then gently tucked his feet into the center of the mattress. He then lifted the blankets and snuggled them firmly against Light's chin.

"Now…you should take your medicine before we forget. If you're other symptoms act up you'll be miserable." L grabbed one of the many bottle on the nightstand and shook out two pills. He handed them to Light along with a glass of water. Light took them carefully.

"You're not queasy are you?" L asked suddenly. Light looked up at L and let out a chuckle.

"No. Not anymore." He popped the two pills into his mouth, and then washed them down with a gulp of water. Immediately, he placed the cup back on the nightstand, then faced L. "Now…why don't you tell me what this is all about. Did Sheryl say something to you?" L was silent. But this time he did not look away. He stared directly into Light's hazy eyes with the same magnetic force he used to.

"She's trying to take you from me," L said simply. Light blinked at this. L had already told him this earlier. Was it still bothering him?

"Lawliet, Sheryl can't do that. I already told you. You know that's not possible…don't you?" L nodded quickly.

"Yes. She cannot take you. I know this. You would never leave me for her. Not in your entire lifetime." But of course, this only confused Light further. He felt like his mind was getting even more clouded by the second. Was his fever spiking? He carefully lifted a hand to his forehead. No…it was the same. Ignoring it, he faced L one again.

"Then…why're you telling me this again?" he asked. "I'll tell her not to come over anymore, if that's what you're say…saying…" Light yawned, his mouth opening wide as he did so. Despite having just had a nap, he found himself increasingly tired. And the clouds in his mind were thickening.

"Why'm I so…tired…" His head started to loll forward. Carefully, L came forward and readjusted Light's blankets. He fluffed Light's pillow. As he did so, he came in close; carefully gazing into his stricken lover's rapidly clouding eyes. Light was surprised to see L looking so forlorn, so…guilty. As if he'd already regretted something he'd done.

"I'm sorry Raito…" Light blinked, his eyes widening with sudden understanding as his fatigue increased in strength. There was a very good reason he was falling asleep so quickly, and it was L's doing. But despite the trick L'd just pulled, Light did not see the usual delight L harbored at pulling off such a stunt. Instead…he saw only sadness in those black orbs.

"I'm sorry," he said a second time. "I'm just…a coward." And as Light felt himself falling into unconsciousness, he strained to remain focused on L's face as his lover watched him fall asleep. And as he did so…the last thing he saw…was L's large beautiful eyes fill with a sudden glimmer.


	4. Fever Dreams and Appearances

**Author's Note:** Ok guys, this one's pretty long, but I couldn't bear to split it in half. So, oh well. Anyway, enjoy!

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The next six hours were surreal to Light. It was as if he were taking part in a waking dream, even though he knew he was asleep. Things moved quickly. Too quickly. As if the world were spinning out of control. In one moment, he was certain that L was beside him. He could feel his thin body, his warmth at his side. There was something wet dripping onto his chest as L buried his face in him. He thought he heard something. L speaking to him maybe? But in another second it was gone. There was darkness.

Then he was holding the Death Note. Kira was inside of him, demanding he cleanse the world. Showing him how necessary it was. With a flash of light he understood. People were disgusting. Vile creatures. Putrid. Not worth the blessing of the lives they'd been given. All they did was waste. They used their lives to hurt one another.

But then of course there was the detective. What did he do with his life? _He spends it suppressing the hero of this world: you. He spends it by destroying what little hope this world has left._ But no. Of course not. Light Yagami saw through the red tinted glasses Kira made him wear. The detective spent his life making up for all of the other people who'd wasted theirs.

Then it moved onto something else. The dream was lucid, confusing…almost nauseating with the way it jerked Light to and fro. The colors were too vivid. Then they were too gray. The world was dark with storm clouds as he gazed at a Misa Amane who wanted nothing more than for him to love her. But of course he couldn't. he wasn't capable.

Red lipstick sitting on a nightstand could suddenly be used to scribble a message on a mirror. Light couldn't quite make out what it said. Misa smiled at him anyway as Light turned to leave.

But then things seemed real again. Did he hear crying? No…he must have still been dreaming. Still…he was certain he heard someone crying. In their bathroom, to his left. The shower ran as water fell to the linoleum floor. There was an echo.

Seemingly immediately after he heard the clattering of dishes. Was he back home? His mother was cleaning. She was cleaning his room for him…because she knew he had to study. Of course, he would use the time to write in the Death Note instead. There were so many people to kill.

But no…L wouldn't approve. He couldn't kill anyone. It would make L sad. And he couldn't do that.

So ok, maybe just this one rapist. It was ok to write rapists into the Death Note. Because…if he wrote as many rapists into the Death Note as he could…maybe he could save L before Webber got to him during that case when L was in Australia. Surely…surely he could save him with the Death Note.

Water was running again. This time it sounded like a sink. And the unmistakable sound of Band-Aids being opened. Of course. Sayu was always cutting herself by mistake while she shaved her legs. She was just learning how to after all and always scuffed up her knees. Even after his dad bought her a safety razor…

Sheryl could have helped of course. Her legs were perfectly smooth. Light wondered what she shaved with. He'd ask her at work when he got better. That way he could teach L how to shave properly. No…wait…Sayu. He'd teach Sayu to shave.

"Light, forget about your sister. I'm the one you want." Blinking, Light looked over to find Sheryl lying on his living room floor. And not just lying, but she was sprawled seductively across the lush patterned carpet. Her long dark locks curled in silky waves around her face. Her nicely plump breasts were half exposed through a white and nearly unbuttoned collar top. Her skirt was far too short for the Comp Inc. dress code. Light felt his heart immediately pick up pace. He was struck by a wave of both desire and then directly after, nervousness and fear. He most certainly didn't want to feel any desire toward his co-worker. The fact that he did, was terrifying.

"How did you get in? Where's Lawliet?"

"Forget about Lawliet. You want me. That's all that should matter. Come on Light…" She readjusted herself, shifting to her side so that her breasts were pressed together. Light swallowed harshly, almost painfully. His fear and disgust tripled when he suddenly realized that the place on the carpet Sheryl laid was directly in front of the fireplace: the very place where he and L had first made love.

"Come on Light. I can't hold it for long…" she prompted. Light was frozen in place; he simply didn't know what to do. But it didn't matter, the dream moved him onward. And now he was faced with the bathroom door. It was closed. And for some reason, this brought him a type of dread he could not explain. His fear increased by triple fold. He simply knew, that there was something terrible on the other side. And whatever it was, it was his fault because he'd slept with Sheryl in front of the fireplace. Still…the door had to be opened.

His heart pounded in his chest as he realized he had no choice. He started to move forward. Against his will his feet shuffled. The door had to be opened. Light's limbs turned to ice. Whatever was behind that door…that mahogany door…

_No! No! I don't want this! Stop! I don't want to see!_ His head pounded, his chest constricted. He was suffocating from the fear. He could not remember the last time he'd been so terrified. It was feral. Like a feeling from when he was a child, from the days when the dark had terrified him. Still his feet moved him closer.

Unable to stop himself, as if he had no control over his own body, he reached out and touched his sweating, trembling fingertips to the brass doorknob.

_No!_

But his silent please were only answered with a firmer grasp on the handle. And then, against his will, he slowly pushed open the door. It creaked inward, gradually, torturously, until the entire room was finally revealed. And when it was, his heart turned to ice with terror.

Light let out a scream, a shriek that filled the little bathroom as he witnessed L writing the very last letter of his name into the Death Note. L'd cut himself. Because there was no pen available or because he'd always been a bit self-mutilating was a question. But it didn't matter. Both of his wrists bled, dripping blood to the floor as his back faced Light. And with his own blood, using his own finger as the pen, he'd spelt out very carefully, very deliberately, and very neatly, 'L Lawliet' into the final page of the Death Note.

"Lawliet! _**NO**_!" Light screamed. He ran into the bathroom, throwing his arms around his doomed lover. And the very moment Light touched him, L collapsed in his arms.

"No! No!" Light shook him wildly. But L was already fading. His teary eyes were red. He'd clearly been crying hysterically for hours. He wouldn't even look at Light as he died. He didn't need to say a word. Light knew he had finally broken him. After all the horrible things he'd done to him, after all L'd endured…Light had finally broken him. This was because he'd slept with Sheryl. Light let out a heart-breaking sob.

"No! Please! I'm sorry! Don't leave me! I didn't mean to! Kira made me do it! It wasn't me! I didn't kill you! Please Lawli! Please!"

At first, L was silent, his body oddly warm, yet fragile as Light felt his life slipping away between his fingers, like grains of sand he could not catch. But then, slowly, carefully, L opened his mouth to answer.

"…don't be silly Raito-kun…" L's voice was so detached, so ghostly, that Light had hardly recognized him. He blinked at his lover in confusion as L's pale lips curved upward into the most terrifying, deranged, yet destroyed grin he'd ever seen. He knew L had lost his mind. "…you're coming with me…" L turned his head weakly and ever so slightly so that his large grief stricken yet crazed eyes found their focus. Light, heart pounding, slowly followed L's line of sight back to the Death Note. There, beneath L's name, written in the same blood, was Light's. Light felt his heart beat once, and then it simply exploded.

Light woke up screaming. Screaming at the top of his lungs. He thrashed wildly in bed, fighting against the covers that had been placed on him for comfort. He had no idea he was awake as he started to get tangled in his sheets. He had no idea that tears were streaming down his cheeks, that his actions were the worst he could do considering his fever. He wasn't thinking about the flu, or his sickness. He wasn't thinking about a physical reaction to such stress or activity. No, he was gripped by terror. And so, it was up to the other man left in the room to worry about these things for him.

Light became aware of two very strong hands gripping his arms, pinning him to the mattress. He became aware that this being who was holding him was trying to keep him still. And he also became aware that someone was shouting his name and then some other things. But…it was in an odd language. What was that? That wasn't Japanese.

"Raito! Raito stop! You'll hurt yourself! Stop! Stop it! Cease! Desist! Halt! Einde! Arrêt! Anschlag! Arresto! Batente! Parada!"

The speaker, desperate to be understood, started trying other languages before he looped back around to the one Light was actually familiar with. Then a very familiar word rang in his ears.

"**Shuushi!"** Light immediately started to calm. The familiar word brought comfort. It broke through his suddenly hazy mind. His body…it was on fire. He hadn't noticed until his limbs hung still, until his body lay limply on the mattress. His skin felt like ice…but his insides were a raging inferno. He gasped wildly, his lungs burning from the workout. And as he became aware of the fact that he was awake, other unpleasant things followed. His head was pounding, as if it would be split open at any moment. His tongue felt as if it were made of sandpaper. His throat was raw and dry from his screaming. But the burning…the burning was the worst. He was sure he was melting.

"U…ughhh…" he groaned in misery. The next few moments were a blur. The world swam, he couldn't focus his eyes. But he knew L was there. L was there. And despite the clogged sound he had in his ears, he could hear the Japanese he spoke just fine. And it comforted him as L suddenly tore the blankets away from him.

**"You idiot! You could kill yourself!"** He could hear L's frantic tones and suddenly L ripped off Light's pajama shirt. There was an instant sting of cold air. The room felt frigid. Like ice. Light let out another groan, and tried desperately to curl up, to retain some heat. But L wasn't having it.

**"You've made your temperature spike! This is your own fault for thrashing like that! Come on! We have to get it down! Now!"** But Light wasn't even able to focus his vision. The world spun sickeningly. There was no way he'd be able to get up as L was asking. So, instead of waiting, or asking again, L simply grabbed at his incapacitated lover. Light felt his arms, thin, yet tough in their wiry way, scoop up underneath him. He felt L shudder as he struggled to lift him. L managed to succeed quickly, and with little difficulty. Later, when Light was well, he'd realize that this was probably due to pure adrenalin. L was scared. Even at the time Light realized this. He felt his heart pound against his sweaty skin.

_Am I…dying? _He thought blurredly. He hadn't the mind power to answer his own question. He thought he was blind as he felt L carry him into the bathroom. Only a few seconds later, he was carefully placed into their porcelain tub. The cold was torture. Light let out another weak cry. L ignored him. And after only a few frantic scuffling sounds, the water turned on. And if ice was cold, than this was what it felt like in hell on the day it froze over. Light let out a gasp of shock as the freezing liquid bit into his skin. He cried out in pain as he felt his skin retaliate by closing its pores, creating goose bumps. It was worse than torture.

His teeth started to clatter together like some cheap wind-up toy. And each clatter sent waves of pain through his pounding, burning mind. His skull felt like it was filled with a red-hot lava balloon, and the balloon were filling up, pressing at the confines of his skull. His chattering teeth only made it worse.

Light almost wished he could die. But he wasn't. Quite the contrary. In fact…the cold water seemed to be clearing his clogged mind. It seemed to be slowing the throbbing in his head, the burning in his lungs. And rather quickly, much more quickly than Light expected…his fire inside his burning body started to cool.

He felt himself starting to come back to reality. The balloon in his head deflating as the temperature in his body started to lower. His breathing slowed pace. He hadn't even realized he'd been struggling so desperately just to take in air. His vision slowly started to clear. And only a few seconds after that…the cold water wasn't like knives slicing into his skin...but rather…a comforting caress. Cool against a burning inferno inside. Light inhaled deeply, and then let out a long sigh. His mind was in working order again. And as such, the first thing he thought of was L. Immediately he looked to the side of the tub.

There he found his L seated, no, more like collapsed on the floor, breathing heavily from his frantic efforts. He was slumped over the side of the tub, only his lanky arms, pale hands, and dark eyes visible from Light's position. His nose hid just beneath the rim. Gasping for air, L's inky pools rested on Light's shirtless form. And Light recognized the look in those eyes very well. L hadn't just been scared, he'd been terrified.

Light felt a pang of sympathy and he was about to reach out to comfort him when he noticed L's hands. Each and every individual finger was wrapped tightly in a band-aid. Some of the band-aids were red and completely soaked with blood.

Light, well enough and with a temperature low enough to feel like himself, immediately felt the fires of anger ignite within him. His face tensed. L noticed immediately and pulled his hands out of the tub where they'd been resting. Out of sight, despite what L may have thought, did not take Light's anger away.

"What the hell was that?" he asked, his voice croaking as the cold water still poured over him from the faucet. L carefully sat up a little straighter, his entire face, then neck and shoulders coming into view. Then he got up onto his knees, leaning over the tub entirely. He didn't answer. And instead he reached one of his damaged hands out to Light, pressing his palm against Light's forehead. He kept his hand there for several seconds, and Light let him, because he could see by L's face that the news was good and that it was also calming his partner. Finally, L sighed heavily and fell back onto his knees beside the tub. He focused on Light with tired and relieved eyes.

"You idiot…" he whispered. Light's expression changed then. He couldn't hold his anger. No…not after that horrible dream he'd just had. L…L'd been so worried. Light was sure he'd been worried even before Light had woken up. His fingers were simply a testament to that.

"Lawli…"

"Don't you realize what would happen if we needed medical attention?" he suddenly demanded. And Light was surprised to find that L was nearly panicked all over again. Only this time, he was trying to mask it with anger.

"Don't you know? We can't call 911! For anything! You're name! If they looked you up they'd see! They'd know you're not dead! We can't risk it! And…and I know we set up emergency plans with Watari, and I know we have our own medical team on stand-by, but they're not in town to avoid suspicion! It'd take them at least forty-five minutes to get here! Forty-five minutes Raito! And do you know how long the brain can survive without lasting brain damage at a temperature above one-hundred and seven degree? Hm? Do you? Do you know how long you'd have?" Light remained silent as he watched L's cheeks turn pink with emotion.

"No time! That's how much time you'd have! None! Once the body hits one hundred and seven your brain cells start frying! Immediately! They die! You…you…its dangerous! You shouldn't have thrashed like that! You can't work yourself up! One hundred and four is fine! It's even healthy! It helps kill the virus, but…one hundred and seven…that…that's…"

Light lifted a soggy hand and reached out until his cooling fingers brushed against L's pale cheek. L immediately stopped ranting and lifted his head so that his wide eyes rested on Light's almond. He blinked in surprise. Light knew he had been expecting Light to retaliate, yell in anger. And Light knew he had a right to. L was chastising him for something he couldn't have possibly controlled. He was giving him a speech about taking charge of his dreams. Light could have retaliated. But he simply didn't want to this time. Not after that dream. That horrible nightmare. No…he just wanted…

"Lawli…" he said softly. "I love you." L was silent for a moment. Light knew he was analyzing the statement. The two had spoken the fabled three words to one another plenty of times before this, but this time the timing was odd. L sensed it. Light knew he sensed it. It was registering on his face. And as they sat in silence, the only other sound in the room was the running water and the slosh of it as it spread higher around Light's form. He shuddered briefly. The water was still cold, even if it no longer bit and dug like a wild creature. And as it rose, Light watched L's pale lips move.

"Why would you say something like that at this time?" He was being direct for once. Light smiled weakly. He knew he didn't have to answer. "Was it that nightmare you had? You dreamt something…it frightened you…" L lifted his hand then and brought it up to the one his partner had pressed to his cheek. L gripped it firmly, making sure Light kept it in place. He did not want that hand to leave his skin.

"Raito…are…are you ok?" he asked softly. "You scared me…" Light's smile only grew as he nodded his now soaked head. It was a rare treat indeed to have L just come out and say what he was feeling or thinking and Light knew that L was being considerate of Light's incapacitated position.

"I'm ok. Thanks to you. You probably saved my life. Or at least my intelligence. That was fast thinking." L nodded. But now that the deed was done and Light was indeed ok once again, he hardly seemed to care. Light could see he was occupied, thinking about other things. More than one or two by the looks of it.

"What was your dream about?" Light shuddered once more. Partially due to the cold water, but…he was certain a part was due to the dream. He still had that horrible image burned into his mind. L's bloody finger, sliding across those blank pages…

"I dreamt you died," he answered honestly. "And it was my fault. You…wrote your name in the Death Note…then you wrote mine." L's dark eyes widened at this. He slowly took Light's hand down and away from his cheek, but he kept it in his hand. He brought his second hand in, and this time, gripped Light's palm with both. He was silent for a second more, then asked quietly,

"What was the rest of the dream about?" Light hesitated. He wasn't sure he should explain.

"What makes you think there was more to the dream?"

"Because even in your dreams you're a wildly rational man Raito. You would give reason, even in your subconscious…to my doing such a radical action." The water plupped into the bathtub, the pitch of it growing slightly lower as the tub filled higher. Light trembled yet again due to the cold. He knew he'd have to get out soon. As L said, a natural fever was fine and healthy. They didn't want to give the virus room to work in a cold environment.

"I don't remember the first part of it," he suddenly lied. L's grip on Light's hand intensified. Light tried to read his face, but his head was bowed now, his ebony hair hanging to hide his usually expressive eyes. Light grew suddenly worried. What was he thinking?

"I…that's ok. I…have an idea of what it was. And I don't think I want to hear it. It was just a dream. It didn't mean anything…" but Light caught the waver in L's soft voice. He had already figured it out. And despite his words…it had unsettled him, or worse…made him insecure. Light retrieved his hand from L's grip so that he could use it to push himself up in the tub. The water sloshed around him as he sat up. He held onto the rim of the tub, bringing himself in closer to L's face. Light knew he had to set this straight immediately.

"Lawliet…look at me." It was a demand. But despite L's natural reaction to reject demands…for once he obeyed. He lifted his chin, letting Light see the entirety of his pale face. And when L met Light's gaze, he saw that Light was deadly serious. His almond eyes narrowed in that way of his when he was going to say something that he meant with all of his conviction with all of his power. L felt his heart thump in his chest.

"I love you. I will never _ever_ want anyone else. Never. _You_ are the person I love. There wasn't even a choice about it. You _made_ me love you, you sneaky bastard." L's frown cracked instantly as he let out a small snort.

"Then I take full credit. I am indeed a sneaky bastard." Light grinned as well, seeing that it didn't take much to convince L. L, after all, already knew these things to be true. It was probably just nice to hear them spoken out loud. But…then…why did he still seem so worried? Light's smile dwindled away. That was right. Before L had drugged him…

L drugged him! How could he forget that? Light's smile was already overtaken by a scowl. L _was_ a sneaky bastard. Why would he do such a thing? Because he hadn't wanted to answer Light's questions? About what was happening with Sheryl? That was right, he had asked about Sheryl and L had frozen and chickened out. Suddenly, Light had a hundred questions. But…interrupting them was a sudden tickling in his nose. And then,

"ACHOO!" The sneeze was violent, ripping its way out of his lungs and through his throat and finally out his nose. "Ugh…" Light shuddered. He was still cold.

"Ah! Let's get you out of that tub. The crisis has been averted after all. You need dry clothes and a blanket." L immediately reached out to help Light stand. Light at first wanted to pull away, retain his anger he had at the fact that L had avoided his questions and drugged him earlier in the day, but…he couldn't. He wanted to get out of the tub more. So, he allowed L to curl his thin fingers around his shivering arms and he allowed him to hoist him up, and then steady him as he wobbled. L carefully wrapped his cherished lover up in a dry towel and caringly rubbed at Light's wet mop of usually perfect hair. The caramel color of it was darker when wet, but with L's vigorous drying, it was almost back to its usual color when he finished.

Light sighed. It was sometimes still surprising how volatile their relationship could be. Why, in only the past ten minutes he'd been completely in love with L, and then vividly angry all at once. But Light knew…he wouldn't have it any other way. L simply knew how to get under his skin. And if L didn't exercise that ability, well…it meant L wasn't being L.

_I'm hopeless…_he thought to himself. But it caused a small grin to come to his lips. It was ok to be hopeless about it, because they had both changed. And Light knew that L was just as, if not more hopeless then himself.

Once dried off, L helped Light back into the master bedroom. Once there, he instructed Light to hold onto the dresser for support. He did so, then proceeded to watch L open the bottom drawer to get dry, clean pajamas for him. Light grinned to himself. L had gotten down onto his hands and knees in order to rummage through that bottom drawer more thoroughly and it gave Light a strikingly good look at his rear. Knowing that L was quite healthy and had all of his wits about him, Light had to wonder if he didn't do it on purpose. But before Light could piece it together, L stood back up, dry clothes in hand.

"Take those wet pants off." There wasn't even a hesitation in his demand. Light couldn't help but to snort and grin.

"Well well Lawliet. Feeling feisty?" But despite Light's playful tone, L didn't rise to the call. Instead, his face seemed to grow stern, much to Light's disappointment. He knew that such a face was a very clear 'no.'

"You have a fever. You put yourself in danger getting worked up over a dream. Even in your compromised state you must realize that there's no way on this earth that I would subject your body to something as physical as sex right now."

"You mean there's no way you'd let _your_ body be subjected to something as physical as sex." It was like it usually was; Light couldn't help half the things that came out of his mouth at times. It had simply been natural to correct him, despite knowing it would cause that frown in that pale face to grow deeper.

"You're cold; take your pants off so you can get into something dry." And L's tones were so crisp and harsh that it caused Light's brief bout of arousal and playful feelings to completely vanish like magic. He snarled.

"Fine." He did as instructed and dropped his wet pajama pants, revealing his entire naked body to the person he'd chosen to share his life with. For a brief second or two, Light had hoped that the sight of him would stir something in L and coax him into wanting the very thing he swore he would not be 'subjected' to. But much to Light's disappointment, L was all business at the moment. He instructed Light to lift a foot and then proceeded to dress his sick partner quickly and efficiently. Within only a few moments of Light standing like a doll, rolling his eyes, for he could really change himself if he really wanted too, he was fully dressed yet again. And then, without further objection, he let L lead him back to bed where he was lain down and where the covers were pulled back up to his chest. L stuck a thermometer in his mouth and checked to find his fever down to one hundred and two, a nice and healthy range for someone with the flu. He sighed with relief.

It was at this time, when Light was comfortable and back in bed that he noticed the bedroom. It was…spotless. All of the clutter all of the dishes and medicines had been put away. The nightstands had even been dusted and cleaned, the curtains laid straight at the side of the windows. It was…almost perfect. As if Light had cleaned the room himself.

Light stared, eyes wide as he started to feel more comfortable in his bed. Had L done this? But why? He'd never bothered to clean up just because Light had asked him to. So why would he do it now when he wasn't asked? And why to such a degree? It wasn't even like he put a few things away; he had done a Light Yagami worthy type of cleaning.

Light shifted his stunned caramel eyes to the man standing at the side of his bed. L was still inspecting the thermometer.

"Hmm…well it's a fine temperature now…" he mumbled to himself more than to Light. "But such a high spike…" He lowered the thermometer to the nightstand as if he were going to lay it there without rinsing it, or putting it back in the box, like he usually did. But then he stopped himself as if he realized what he was doing. Light watched his bandaged fingers hesitate. Then he lifted the electronic reader and turned to head for the bathroom to rinse it.

Light immediately reached out to stop him, grabbing onto one of his pale wrists.

"Lawliet, wait." L did indeed stop when he was grabbed. He turned his head, gazing his dark eyes over his shoulder at his bed-ridden partner.

"Yes Raito?" Light's eyes narrowed.

"You're acting strange. I mean…strange even for you." For a moment, neither of them moved or said anything. But seeing that L wasn't going to answer or react, Light spoke again. "Earlier…you drugged me." L turned completely around then to face Light properly. He hesitated, then put the thermometer on the nightstand as he would have naturally. He then turned his gaze to Light and Light saw the hint of shame in it.

"…I'm sorry," he said softly. And it was clear that he meant it, that he wasn't playing a game. Light waited, expecting L to continue, to explain himself, but he didn't. Still…the longer Light watched him…the more convinced he became that something was wrong. L's usual spunk wasn't there. He had been easy going, almost complacent since he'd come home from the ice-cream shop. And he was acting as if he wanted to please Light. Cleaning the room...doing the dishes…picking up after himself. Normally Light would love such a change. But not like this. It was clear that L wasn't doing these things for the right reasons. He wasn't doing it because he necessarily wanted to. He was doing it…why?

"Lawliet, tell me what the hell happened with Sheryl," Light demanded. His tones were firm. It was time to nip this thing in the bud, before it got worse. But much to Light's disappointment, L didn't answer right away. His eyes flickered to the side. Light let out a rush of air. "So it's going to be like that? Fine. We'll loop around to it. We'll start easy. Why'd you clean the room?" This seemed better for L. A question like this was easier to answer. And even though L knew perfectly well that they were going to 'loop around' to the real issue as Light said, he answered anyway, which showed he was at least willing, or wanting to tell Light the truth. He just found it difficult.

"I cleaned the room because Raito likes things neat and tidy," he said simply. "And he's sick and not feeling well. I wanted him to be comfortable." Light's brow wrinkled. At least with the fever down he was able to think a little more clearly. But he still wasn't one-hundred percent.

"I've been sick all week. You never bothered to clean until today. Why today?" L was eerily silent about this one. So it meant it was more difficult to answer. Which meant… "It's because Sheryl offered to clean. Right?" L nodded quickly, cooperating within the best of his comfort zone. "You felt like…she was showing you up? Maybe as if you could have been taking care of me better?" Bingo. He watched L's facial expression change. L nodded again.

Light frowned. That was a little disappointing. L hadn't really cleaned for Light at all. He'd cleaned for Sheryl. Still, there were more important things to address.

"You fingers…" Light pointed. L immediately shoved them out of sight and behind his back. He was clearly both ashamed and embarrassed about the state of his hands. After all…it had taken a lot of hard work to get him to stop. Work on both of their ends. Light had to be like a hawk at every second of every day, to catch and stop L if he lifted a finger to his teeth. And he knew very well that it had taken incredible willpower and strength for L to even desire to stop his self mutilating ways. They had succeeded only recently over the course of the past year. To see such a bad turnaround now…was a clear indication of L's moods.

"Hey…let me see," Light said suddenly. L didn't move at first. He kept his hands behind his back. In the past, when Light had been trying to get him to stop, there had been a lot of fights about it. When Light caught him chewing, he often times resorted to yelling. And of course, L yelled right back. As a result, they'd had plenty of fights over those stupid fingers. But this time, Light hadn't the energy or desire to yell. He instead reached out a hand.

"Come on…" Surprised and perhaps a little confused by Light's new tactic, L slowly brought his hands back into view. He reached forward, resting one of his palms on top of Light's. Light carefully and gently took it in his grasp, bringing the pale hand closer so he could inspect.

He saw that the index finger and the thumb fingers band-aids were a bloody mess. The pads had been completely soaked through before L's fingers had begun to clot. But the other three seemed clean. Without asking, Light carefully began to peel one of the band-aids away. He took off the one on L's pinky first. And confirming his suspicions, he saw that the finger was unharmed. L's teeth hadn't touched the little finger.

Light lifted his gaze to L.

"You bandaged all of them to protect the fingers you hadn't destroyed yet." It wasn't a question but a clear observation.

"Yes…" L admitted. "I realized what I was doing about halfway through. When I got out of the shower…" But L stopped himself here and through years of careful observation of his partner, Light was able to pick up on the subtle movements and facial expressions that gave L away. The shower…this was important somehow. It was connected to the central problem with Sheryl. L carefully pulled his hand out of Light's grasp then shifted his gaze away and to the side. His pale cheeks suddenly turned a light shade of pink, much to Light's surprise.

"Raito?" he whispered. "Why do you like me?"

Light blinked. The question seemed to have come out of the sky. He was completely unprepared for such a question. Was this what it was all about? Why Light loved L? It seemed ridiculous. Surely L understood. He was a genius. So then…was this another case of something he simply wanted to hear out loud?

Getting himself under control, Light quickly relaxed himself. It was an easy enough question.

"Geeze Lawliet…what are you doing? Fishing for compliments?" Surely this wasn't why he was acting so strange. Was it? "I love you for lots of reasons," he said matter-or-fact. "For one, you're one of the only people who understands me. And of course you're one of the only people on this planet who can even keep up with me intellectually, and even sometimes best me at a few mind games. And you…you're different. You're Lawliet. It…it's hard to explain. But I love you because…"

"No…that's not what I meant." Light blinked again in surprise. Had L seriously just interrupted him in the middle of an explanation to as why he loved him? L lifted his head, meeting Light's gaze. And his deep pools of ebony were as burrowing and as deep as ever, and for once…very hard to read.

"I meant…why are you attracted to me? Physically. What is it about me that you like?"

Light gaped. For a few seconds, all he could really do was stare. It was once again, a question out of the blue. Appearances? Was L asking him about appearances? Since when did L ever care about his appearance? He had a mop of thick hair that he never combed. He didn't care for style or fashion. He always wore blue jeans and tee-shirts, or sweatshirts if it was cold. He never preened himself or worried about perfectly smooth eyebrows. He never even cared if his sandals were matching! Why, even with showers, he only showered out of necessity.

Light blinked. Showers. L had said he showered earlier. But Light knew for a fact that he had showered in the morning out of necessity. That meant he was relatively good until the next day, or…if he was lazy enough…the day after that. So then why? And this question about his appearance…

What was it people did in showers? A reason to take one when a person didn't need one was to feel cleaner. Or if a person got himself muddy or dirty somehow. But Light was sure this wasn't the case with L. Another reason…especially addressing L's question on appearances…was to check himself out. It was a good way to get a really good look at your own body, down to the last detail. Was this why L had taken a shower?

"I see…" L said quietly from the side of the bed. "You cannot answer…" Shocked, Light looked up to find L's face crumpling. He looked suddenly fragile. As if he might break. More shock. Why did this suddenly matter?

_It doesn't matter why! Answer him you idiot!_ But then another thought hit him. That was right. Earlier in the day, when Sheryl had been over…and L had his fit, he'd said that Sheryl was easier to look at. And before Light had been drugged and almost killed by a fever dream, he'd already had the answer.

"Lawliet…" Light said quietly. "Do _you_ think you're ugly?" L must have taken the question badly. Or at least the wrong way, because Light immediately regretted phrasing it in such a way. L's face contorted. His dark eyes immediately began to water as if Light had struck him across the face. He stood in shock. Light had his answer, and his heart sent a wave of pain through him. Such a terrible look L wore.

"Lawliet don't…don't do that," Light practically begged. He couldn't stand such a heartbreaking expression. "You're _not_ ugly. Despite what you might think. You're a _very_ attractive person. Ok? Please…don't…don't look like that…" But it seemed the damage was already done. Either L didn't believe him, or it no longer mattered what he said.

"You're just saying that! If I wasn't, you wouldn't have had any problem answering the question!"

"Now hold on Lawliet! I was just surprised, that's all! You never seemed to care what you looked like before. So I was a little taken back, ok? That's all."

"You don't have to lie to me! Tell me the truth! I see how people look at me!"

"What people?" Light quickly sat up. This wasn't something he'd be able to handle lying down peaceably. "Lawliet, no one here in town looks at you like anything! Not like how you're suggesting! Everyone here seems pretty decent which is why we picked this town! And if someone _has_ done or said something to you, I expect you to _tell_ me so that I can go kick their ass!"

L's watering eyes only seemed to fill up further and it only made Light more frustrated. He growled in annoyance, falling back on his pillows.

"Give me a break…"

"You asshole! You can't even think of one thing! One thing to say!"

"I can think of a million things to compliment you on Lawliet! You won't let me because you're so hysterical! Stop acting like some teenage girl! It's ridiculous! This entire thing is ridiculous, because you're _very_ attractive! Ok? Do you honestly think I'd have sex with someone who I thought was hideous?"

And as always, it was the logic that seemed to calm L down. His watering eyes which were threatening to spill, seemed to subside as his face loosened. In fact, he calmed a great deal considering he seemed ready to explode only a second ago. He kept his gaze on Light, then let out a small sigh.

"Of course…you're too vain to give your perfect body to someone you deemed unworthy. And I know how appearance means so much to you." Light felt a snarl coming to his face. Perhaps L hadn't meant it to be an insult, but he sure as hell took it as one.

"Don't make me sound so shallow!"

"But you are to a degree. I'm not saying all of you. Just the part of you that likes things neat and tidy…and attractive. It's your entire argument Raito. It's your argument for saying I'm attractive. Without admitting this part about you, you are saying you'd make love to me even if I were a hideous beast, and so…"

"Ok ok! God, I _do_ care about appearances yes…to a degree…" Both fell silent for a few awkward seconds.

"So then…I'm tolerable…" L muttered. Light groaned, lifting his hands so that he could bury his face in them.

"Why…why?" he complained into his palms. He took a few seconds to calm the part of him that wanted to lash out and tell L that he was being retarded, because he was in Light's opinion. But he knew he couldn't do that. This issue needed to be dealt with properly…or there wouldn't be any sex at all, even after Light had recovered. And of course…underneath the annoyance and anger…Light was worried about this. And he had a good idea to as what had triggered this strange sudden caring of L's appearance.

Light sighed. He slowly lowered his hands away from his face. Then he glanced at L. He stood, slightly hunched as always, his bandaged hands now shoved in his pockets. The day was ending and the light outside the window was fading. And despite the dark color of L's hair, it caught a few highlights of the orange sun outside. The lighting was soft, and made L look softer still. Light felt his heart give off a small pound. Of course this needed to be fixed. And the reasons had nothing to do with sex at a later date. No…it had to be fixed…so that L wouldn't wear that face anymore.

"Lawliet…listen to me. Ok? Just be quiet and listen." Light waited for L to turn his head so that their eyes locked together. It was important that L read his face as he spoke, so he'd see the truth behind his words. And as such, Light made sure to keep eye contact with his distraught partner. "I'll tell you the complete and total truth about what I think of your appearance. Ok? I'll be brutally honest. I won't hold anything back." L's eyes grew large and Light saw that he was frightened, but that was ok. Light knew it would all be fixed very shortly. Slowly, L nodded.

"Good. Now come here." L blinked, seeming confused. And he didn't move. Light let out a snort. "Come here so I can _show_ you." There was another hesitation, but then L sat down on the side of Light's bed. But this wasn't good enough. "I want you to face me. Come in close so I can really _show_ you." L thought about it, then curled up his legs on top of the comforter. Light was going to do as L asked of him. And he was going to do it properly. Knowing Light would keep his word, L settled himself, curled and on his knees just beside Light's legs which were hidden under the covers. He sat midway up the bed, close to Light's pillows.

"There, good," Light instructed. "Now…we'll start here." Light reached out his hands, slowly, then gently laid his fingertips on L's forehead. L blinked, but didn't question it as Light slowly slid his fingers upward and into his ebony locks.

"What I see here…is a thick, healthy mane of hair. You keep it clean, so it's always smooth and it can even shine in the sunlight. The fact that it's wild is only an allure to me. It can't be tamed. It's perfect for its owner, who also can't be tamed." L at first was surprised by Light's way of 'showing' him. But after only a few gentle strokes, he sighed, letting his stress run out of his body through his nose. Light's touch was always so gentle, despite how harsh of a man he could sometimes be. He was always gentle, always considerate and it always felt good to receive such simple pleasures like this. His touch had a way of taking the tension out of his seemingly always tense body. But before he could really get involved in the repeated strokes, the feeling of Light's fingers sliding through his wild locks, Light's hands moved onward. They pulled out of his hair and moved onto his cheek. Light caressed him lightly, running the back of his hand down his face.

"And you have smooth, perfect skin. Almost as perfect as mine. There have been occasions when I've been jealous, because I know you don't use any blemish creams like I have to. I have to work for mine. Yours is natural. And even though you might be pale, it isn't a sickly pale, like you once were. Now it's simply a healthy ivory. You're getting your nutrients and the sun you need. And so…your color is simply natural, the way it's meant to be."

L felt his heart start to pound. He had no idea Light was going to take this so far. L'd expected a few compliments at most, nothing so in-depth. The words Light fed him were like a magic spell. He couldn't possibly stop listening or even move. It was too good to be true. As was how the rest of his life seemed to have turned out. All of this…the house, the town, the people they'd met…all of it.

"And you have a perfectly shaped face for your bone structure," Light continued, oblivious to the rising emotions building in his partner. Or maybe he was aware, and this had been his plan. "You have a strong chin, and it goes well with your cheek bones. And of course…" Light's hands slid to L's eyes. He gently ran his thumbs over L's eyebrows. "…of course, your eyes have always been my favorite part about you."

It was too good, too good to be true. And as L was, he didn't like to take anything that wasn't true. And so, he did what he always did, and he raised a challenge.

"I've been told they're too large. Bug like even. That they frighten people."

"Then you're referring to people from a long time ago. I used to see it that way too back when you were working on the Kira case. Now I know that it was because you were frightened a lot of the time and simply hiding it well. But when you're not terrified for your very life twenty four hours a day, they're by no means bug-like. They're soft, and full of your intelligence. They're expressionate, and a lot of the time, it's my only signal to how you're feeling. Back then they may have been frightening to some, because you kept yourself locked away. So people were only met with a glass wall when they looked at you. That can be frightening…because you seemed…soulless at times. But now…now they're full of life."

Light smiled from his seated position against his pillows. He smiled warmly and L could not keep his heart from beating a little faster. He could understand this description. Because Light's smile…Light's smile was the same. L remembered how soulless it had once been. How terrifying. How hollow. But now…now his smiles were always full of warmth. And L never grew tired of seeing them. L thought of telling him this, but Light wasn't done. His finger's moved down to L's lips where they rested. And L watched as Light's smile grew to incorporate mischief.

"You _know _how much I appreciate these." L's face cracked into a grin and he quickly shoved Light's hands away.

"You're primeval. Way to ruin the moment!" But Light only laughed.

"I didn't ruin it! It can only get better! You want more compliments?" L blushed lightly as he curled his hands around his calves. He looked away from Light.

"Of course I do."

"Then I'll keep going by saying that you're _not_ too thin. Because I know that's probably been on your mind. You're a few pounds underweight according to the doctor's charts, but I don't think it's entirely unhealthy for you. You eat well now. And you've been getting all of your vitamins and nutrients. You're simply…built faster than the rest of us. It doesn't look bad at all. It fits you because you're bone structure is also small. Ok?" L met Light's gaze once again, then smiled meekly. He nodded.

"Yeah." Light's smile only grew when he saw that cute expression on his partner. It was perfect, and Light, as always, was glad to have been able to fix something for L.

"Anything else that's been concerning you? About your appearance I mean?" L's eyes shifted to the ceiling as they sometimes did when he thought or processed information. And Light watched as a small question came to L's eyes. He lowered them once more, and then faced Light directly. His smile gone and his face serious, and with no shame or hesitation at all he said,

"Do you think my genitalia are small?" Light inhaled too sharply, causing a bit of saliva to go down the wrong way, and then proceeded to cough rather violently. It took him several long seconds to get himself under control. L watched, his expression blank, as he waited patiently for his partner to gather himself. Wheezing, and finally able to get some air back into his lungs, Light faced L with an expression of shock.

"Where the hell would you get an idea like that?" L clearly wasn't happy with this answer.

"Maybe I'll tell you after you answer my question." Light gaped. He couldn't be serious.

"Lawliet! You _know_ the national average don't you?"

"No, not really. I've never had a need to know something like that. Besides, I'm sure it differs from country to country as people's heights do. All I know is that you're slightly larger than I am."

"Oh my God…we can't seriously be having this conversation…"

"I don't see what the big deal is. We've had sex countless times. Why is it awkward for us to talk about our bodies?"

"You have no tact…" L didn't answer this time. He only stared directly ahead at Light, waiting. Light hated to see his burrowing expression, and that's exactly what he was doing; burrowing. Light sighed dramatically.

"Lawliet…you're fine. Size doesn't really matter. At least not to me. I'd care about you just the same. But if you _have_ to know, you're about average which is perfectly acceptable considering you're small frame. If you were any larger it wouldn't…_look_ right. Ok? Now can we stop talking about this?" Light sighed a second time as he lounged back on his pillows. He stuck his nose in the air in a 'this conversation is over' type of way. L grinned as he watched his partner's cheeks turn pink.

"Raito is red," he said with glee. Light glowered.

"Of course I'm red! Now quit it! Ok? You're perfectly attractive!" L chuckled, clearly pleased with himself. He quickly uncurled himself then crawled up the bed until he was lying beside Light. He snuggled himself into his side until the fit was tight and perfect. Then he rested his nose against Light's neck and let himself relax.

"Raito is perfect." Light blinked, glancing over his shoulder at his suddenly content partner. He smiled softly. L was returning the compliments with one simple sentence. And it was more than enough. Perfect.


	5. Rejection

After only a few more days, Light started to recover. And once he was out of bed, his cough completely gone, L told him the truth about what happened that day at the ice cream shop. He explained to him about Sheryl's abrupt mood change and had also repeated all of the things she'd said to him, including insults.

Needless to say, Light was livid. He'd already suspected that Sheryl had been the cause for L's distress. In fact, he'd been certain. But he had waited for L to reveal these things himself, knowing that L was only trying to be considerate of his condition. And Light was glad he had been, his anger would have been enough to send him into a coma if L had told him while he was still ill. But now, as it was, Light was able to handle the news, and as such he was prepared for his first day back to work.

He was going to have to say a thing or two to Sheryl. But he'd also have to be tactful. He couldn't just rip her a new one like he wanted. Because they were co-workers, he'd have to be civil or risk her reporting him to the boss. And Light didn't want to get fired. True, L made a decent amount of money with his at-home linguist/translator job, but it wasn't enough to support both of them for very long. Besides…his birthday was coming up…and Light by no means wanted to ruin it in any way. He had plans for Halloween.

Light stepped out of the old 1998 Toyota Camery that he and L owned. It was their only car, and all they could afford. It ran well enough with exception of stalling out a few times on cold days. He locked the doors and headed toward the Comp Inc doors. Comp Inc was not a store, but rather a warehouse/factory. It was the location where the computers that were sold in stores like Office Depot and Circuit City were built. But Comp Inc also did custom jobs for those nerds who were unable or unwilling to build their own machines and of course, they performed repairs.

Light was very good at his job, and although it wasn't nearly as stimulating of a job as it could be (he considered rocket scientist a couple of times) it was still better than the other jobs offered to him. It actually required some thought process, which made the days not only tolerable, but if there was a custom job, it was sometimes fun, or at least stimulating.

He stepped in through the glass doors and waved nonchalantly at the secretary as he did every morning.

"Hey Light, welcome back and all that." The secretary, Michelle, was young and a bit of a punk. She had bleached blonde hair with black streaks in it and a nice nose ring to match her always heavily worn make-up. She could be a bitch, but that was why she was one of Light's most favorite people in the office with exception of Byte. Byte's real name was Demetrius, which he hated, understandably. Light agreed that it was a horrible name, unless shortened beyond recognition to something like 'Dem' or 'Deme.' So Light respected the complete and total computer geek by calling him by his nick name.

Light went to walk by Michelle, ignoring her as he always did when she actually bothered to say something else to him.

"So I guess you're not dead." Light let out a snicker.

"Of course not. It takes more than a virus to kill me." Michelle let out a snort.

"Tell that to the poor G4 Macintosh in the back. Virus got that sucker big time." Light blinked, immediately intrigued.

"A virus? On a MAC?"

"Yeah, totally bizarre and shit right? Aren't MAC's like…not supposed to be able to get viruses?"

"Well they can, it's just that the creator of the virus would have to specifically design it to take over a MAC platform and…well you don't need the specifics. See you later."

"Yeah. Whatever." The two parted ways and Light walked out of the waiting room and into the back. The back was separated into many different sections. Currently he was in a sort hallway. The hallway had three doors on each side. These were the offices where the higher-ups worked. Past that he entered what he liked to call 'the cube forest.' It was a bunch of cubicles where the sales reps and other non-factory workers spent their days. This was where Sheryl worked. As such, he hurried by. He didn't want to deal with her just yet. Past that was another hall that veered off to the left. Down here were the repair rooms where Light spent most of his time. Then past that was the actual warehouse where they kept all of the parts, hardware and both broken and fixed computers. It's also where they shipped the machines out.

But today he ducked into repair room five where all the MAC's that were to be fixed were kept. The room had several inside of it. About six or so. Mac's broke just as often as PC's. They had plenty of bugs and glitches. But a virus was something different and Light knew it was where Byte would be. It was too interesting for him to pass up.

And sure enough, there he was seated in front of the aforementioned MAC, checking out its data. When Light shut the door behind himself Byte jumped in his seat, startled. He whipped his head around to gaze at the person who entered wide-eyed. When he saw it was Light, he let out a huge sigh of relief.

"God man, don't scare me like that! I'm supposed to be fixing this sucker, but I wanted to learn more before we have to ship her away." Light smiled. This was why he liked Byte. He simply loved computers and he appreciated the fine things in life, like knowledge.

The kid was a computer protégé. He was only seventeen, but he could fix almost any computer under the sun. He was also an amazing hacker. Anything at all having to do with machines and he was on top of it. At first it had annoyed Light, seeing that this young twitchy kid was better than him at something, but after only a few days it no longer mattered. Byte was far too intelligent and far too interesting to hate.

"Dressed to kill as usual I see," Byte observed before turning back to his glowing monitor. And of course he was right. Light was wearing a button-up collar shirt and ironed khakis. He just couldn't bring himself to come to work in a ripped pair of jeans and a tee-shirt like Byte. That and Light liked doing things like combing his hair, as opposed to Byte, who seemed to let his short, chopped, brown hair stickup straight and in all directions at all times.

"It beats being dressed like I'm homeless," Light retorted. Byte let out a laugh.

"Yeah! That's totally me! I'm a hobo man, a total hobo! Just wait till I grow a beard!" Light let out a scoff.

"Yeah right. You won't be shaving until your forty. You haven't even hit your last growth spurt yet, kid."

"Kid!" he cried as if about to become outraged. "Oh wait…I _am_ a kid. Ha!" He laughed again, all in good humor. He clicked on his mouse several times before typing in a command. He kept his green eyes glued to the screen even as he addressed his co-worker. "So, I guess that virus has finally run its course huh? Are you back online? One hundred percent? Defragged and all that jazz?" Light chuckled as he pulled up a chair beside Byte, just to see what it was he was doing.

"Yes, Byte, I'm defragged. I got better pretty quickly, thanks to the proper care I got from Lawliet."

"Oh yeah! Lawliet! When's he coming back to the office? He's so cool! He's a friggin genius! Like me! And like you too! He fixed that Gateway just by glancing at it. Woo! What a dude." Light threw back his head and laughed long and loud.

"I think you're the only person on this planet who thinks Lawliet is cool!"

"Lies. _You_ like him too. Duh. You're dating him."

"Yes…but that doesn't mean I think of him as, cool." Byte let out a snort, then typed something furiously on his keyboard.

"This virus is awesome. It even infected the subprograms. Look!" He pointed thrillingly at his screen to the lines of data that indicated so.

"Only you would think that's awesome."

"I guess." It grew quiet for a few seconds while both men stared at the glowing screen. Surrounded by metal, wires and junk, it was a wonder Light found the environment hospitable. Usually such a neat freak, it may have been surprising to some to see him enjoy such a messy work place. But there was order to the chaos. Order that Light had instilled. Now it was just a matter of keeping the junk in their correct area.

"So, how's Lawliet's surprise party coming along? I'm still invited right?"

"Of course. And it's all set up already. He has no idea…yet."

"Ha ha! Yeah. You better be sly about it or he'll catch on in a second."

"It's ok. Everyone in town will be going to town hall for the Halloween party anyway. So I don't even need to tell anyone about it until the day before. That way, no one will slip up and tell him while he's in town. Plus, he won't suspect because any preparations I make, I can say are for the Halloween party. Only when he gets there will there be anything off."

"Genius." Light observed Byte's quick movements and racing speech. He was always a bit mousy, and always quick with his tongue. But even so,

"Damn Byte, how many cups of coffee did you have?"

"Only three."

"Three? You're seventeen! And small!"

"Yeah. Ok. Only three." Light scoffed.

"Idiot."

"Yeah right. Me, and idiot. Ok. Why don't you get to work lover boy."

"Geek."

"Perfectionist."

"Hermit."

"Fag."

"Virgin."

"Oooo. Ouch! Ok, you win this round. For now." The two laughed, Light punched Byte in the back of his swivel chair, then started over to one of the lonely machines in need of repair. It was good to be back to work.

***

Light didn't go seeking Sheryl out, because he knew quite well that she'd be coming to him around lunchtime. Because she worked on the phone as a part of sales, he thankfully didn't need to see her during most of the time he worked. But sure enough, just as he predicted, she came poking around at eleven fifty.

Light and Byte were working on separate machines when she stepped into the room. Hearing the door open, and knowing what time it was, Light was certain it was Sheryl. Still, to make sure it wasn't a higher-up, Light leaned to his left so he could see around the computer he was working on at the moment.

"Hi Light!" Yup, Sheryl. And she was grinning ear to ear. She dressed nicely, as usual, and Light absolutely hated the fact that she was actually very attractive looking today. She had on a floral skirt and a button-up sweater. But of course, the top few buttons had been left undone on purpose. Light frowned. Now that he was well and there wasn't a fever in his way, it was painfully obvious to as what her intentions were. Lawliet had been right on.

_I should have just trusted him the moment he said something._ But it was too late for regrets now. Light would take care of it from here on out.

"I guess it's lunch time. I'll see you later Byte."

"What? We're not going to Friendly's?"

"No, not today. Maybe tomorrow." Byte pouted, but got over it within a heartbeat. He was onto some really interesting lines of code. Light stood up from his chair and smoothly grabbed one of the cleaning rags as he stepped around the table. He wiped a bit of grease off his hands as he approached the beaming girl.

"I'm so glad you're feeling better Light! Welcome back! You look great!"

"Thanks," Light said nonchalantly. "Sheryl, would you eat lunch with me today?" The brunette looked like she were about to have an aneurism. She stared at Light, wide eyes blue as the day outside. They sparkled in the way girls eyes did when something terribly romantic had just happened to them.

"R…really? Are you sure?" Light sighed and resisted rolling his eyes. He had to get her out of the building if he were to talk to her properly. That way, if anything questionable was said and she reported it to the boss it would only be his word versus hers. Hearsay wasn't enough to get someone fired…most of the time.

"Yes. Let's head to the coffee shop on the corner. I wanted to talk to you." Clearly Sheryl thought that whatever Light had to say was good news, because she didn't seem the least bit worried. In fact, she was almost acting as if Light had asked her to marry him. Light had to keep down a small bout of disgust. How had he ever believed she was innocent?

_That flu must have really scrambled my brain._

Light didn't say a word as he let Sheryl into his car. He didn't say a word as she started to chat non-stop about her morning. And he said nothing still as he pulled into the coffee house parking lot. He waited until they were seated, until their orders were taken and then until their drinks arrived to assure no interruptions. Then, finally, he turned to face her, even as she continued to talk at five hundred miles a minute.

"…and so I told him, I said, Ryan, you're being totally ridiculous, because I'm not the kind of girl who would ever want anything to do with…"

"Sheryl." She let out a small gasp when Light said her name, her story, about what, he wasn't sure, he'd never been paying attention, was cut completely off. She stared at him, her large blue eyes growing larger still.

"Y…yes Light?" For a moment Light was silent. He thought very carefully about his wording, how to pick his phrases. He wanted to show just how upset he was. But at the same time…he couldn't yell, or insult or do anything that could be considered harassment. So, seated casually, one leg rested up on his knee, he opened his almond eyes and focused them coolly on his target.

"I'm going to cut to the chase; I won't tolerate any ill will that may be intended for Lawliet. Do you understand?" There. That was as plain as day. He'd let her respond. She'd either deny it, or make an explanation. Either way didn't matter to him, the end result would be the same.

Sheryl blinked at him, her thick black lashes gracing her cheeks.

"Ill will? What do you mean?" Light scoffed. Playing dumb was the worst hand she could have chosen.

"Don't pretend like you don't know. He told me about your trip to the ice cream shop. And he told me what you said to him." Sheryl's expression changed at that. Her eyes shifted to the side, and it almost looked like she was…embarrassed? Ashamed?

"Oh…that," she said quietly. "I…I got really angry with him. Sometimes I lose control of my temper. I…I'm really sorry. Would you tell him I'm sorry?" Light blinked. This was one course of action he hadn't expected. Was she really playing the card of regret? "It was just that…well…I…I like you. I think you know that I have feelings for you. And I…I only wanted to see you when I brought over that soup. I didn't think it would be so hard to see you so…so settled and happy with someone else. I didn't expect myself to be angry about seeing you with…" her voice trailed off then. And Light was thankful, because he would have stopped her if she hadn't stopped herself. His eyes narrowed as he began analyzing her. This couldn't be real.

"I just got so mad because he was acting like such a baby. I mean, there you are with the flu, sick in bed, and he starts…raving about some ridiculous idea of me trying to steal you. It's not true. I mean…it's true that I like you, very much. But you're gay. A girl would have to be pretty stupid to seriously go after someone they knew couldn't be interested, even if they were single."

Yes, it made sense. Everything she was saying made sense. Was it possible that she actually had just lost her temper? Maybe she had a short fuse, like himself. Perhaps she truly wasn't trying to steal him, but her real emotions of affection made her seem as if_… No no! This is all 's tricky! She's either very naïve or very smart. She may be really good at playing the game. If she's trying to fool me than she's much more dangerous than we thought. If she's telling the truth than…_

"When I went to get him at the shop he was sulking. And I can't stand that. He has no right to sulk, because he's with you, in a nice house, in a town full of kind people who are accepting of you. It just…I got very angry…" And the problem was that Light could see that too. _If_ it were true. But Sheryl, if she was lying, was very good at it. Her facial expression wasn't giving anything away. Light frowned.

"It doesn't change anything," he said out loud. Sheryl blinked.

"Huh?" Light sighed, and then carefully picked up his cup of coffee so he could take a sip. When he finished, he carefully put it back down on its coaster.

"You said some pretty awful things. It took me an entire day of damage control to build him back up. You hurt him. And as such, I cannot forgive you." Sheryl's face immediately contorted. Her plump, pink lips twisted in dismay.

"Wh…what do you mean you can't forgive me! I…I didn't mean it! Really! I have an awful temper! I can't control it sometimes! I…I'll apologize! I'll go to your house to see him and tell him I…"

"No. I'm sorry Sheryl, but I promised him that I wouldn't see you outside of work. This is the last and only time. From now on, we're just co-workers. We're not friends." Light knew he had to be clear. And he was happy with his phrasing. There was no room for argument. It may have been cruel, but he knew that with a girl like Sheryl…if he wasn't at least a little bit cold…she would try to cling to him. She wouldn't take no for an answer unless it was painfully clear. Even so…she looked like Light had slapped her in the face.

"Wh…what? We can't even be friends? But Light! I…I'm _not_ trying to cause trouble! I…I have feelings for you! I'm settling! I'm settling for friendship! I wouldn't be able to stand it if we couldn't even be friends! Please!" She was growing hysterical. People were looking over from other booths as her pretty, blue eyes began to fill with tears. She let out a sniffle and then started to cry. Light sighed. He'd really _really_ hoped she wouldn't cry.

"Sheryl…I'm sorry, ok?" But it wasn't ok. Her cries turned into sobs. She grabbed at one of the napkins and buried her face in it. Light started to wonder…if her feelings for him were indeed real, even if everything else was an act. Even if her entire personality was a fake meant to please others or manipulate others…her feelings very well could be real. He started to feel a little bad about it.

_No! She made Lawliet think he was ugly. She brought up bad memories for him. And she did it on purpose. She was cruel! She doesn't deserve my sympathy._ Re-affirmed, Light waited for her to get herself under control. But…it looked like she wasn't going to for some time. He sighed, and then gazed out the window. There wasn't anything more to say.


	6. Love and Hate

Author's Note: Hey guys. I know this is shorter than the usual chapters, but it just didn't need to be longer. Also sorry for the delay, Thanksgiving was in the way after all. So I didn't get much of a chance to write. Anyway, I know you'll love the first section of this chapter. I know I did. Re-read it a few times if you want. Haha! Also, keep an eye on Sheryl. Her character will be starting to develop shortly. And she's a key player.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

When Light came home, and stepped in the front door, he found L waiting. Light stopped, a little surprised to find L literally standing just inside the door. He stood, hands in pockets, slightly hunched, a blank expression on his face.

Blinking, Light kept his gaze on him as he began to remove his shoes. L didn't say anything as he did so. And he waited until Light also removed his jacket, hanging it up on the coat rack. It was only when Light was finished, and stepped his sock-clad feet onto the hard wood floor that L spoke.

"So, how'd it go?" Immediately understanding, Light smiled. He hadn't told L he was going to speak with Sheryl today, but of course it had been a rather obvious thing to figure out. It had been an inevitable confrontation and it also had to have been done today, because there was no way Light would have gone the entire day without seeing her. And it was clear from Sheryl's attitude that she would have sought Light out if he tried to avoid her.

"Fine," Light said. "I told her, that I won't tolerate any ill will toward you. That she'd hurt you and I couldn't forgive her. I told her that we weren't friends anymore, just co-workers." L stood silently for a moment, nothing seeming to register on his face. Light knew perfectly well that he was just hiding himself, which meant he had at least one more question.

"How'd she take it?"

"She cried," Light said casually. "But I didn't really care. She'd been purposefully cruel to you. And as I said, I cannot forgive that." There was another few seconds of silence where both stood still. There was a brief howl outside their windows, the small gust sending dry leaves to flutter against the panes. Then, suddenly, and with little warning, L rushed forward. Light let out a small gasp of surprise as L wrapped his arms around him. But he hadn't time enough to speak because the moment L made contact, he leaned in and kissed Light feverishly as if he'd been waiting all day to hear such news, and indeed he had been.

"Lawliet, I-!" But L wasn't going to hear anything else. He silenced Light by pressing his lips up against his a second time. He kissed him passionately, almost hungrily and Light could not deny the immediate reaction his body was having. His face immediately grew warm as he tasted the familiar flavors of his partner. L, as always, tasted sweet.

"Mmm." And within only a second, Light no longer cared to wonder why or what had turned L on so suddenly. No, all that mattered now was the course he would take to please him. In an instant, Light had lifted his own arms, wrapping them around L's slender waist. He pulled him in more tightly so that their bodies pressed up against one another, so that Light could feel L's muscles move beneath his shirt, beneath his skin. Light began to kiss back, hotly, eagerly, and he was pleased to find L already in the mood enough to part his lips for him so that they could allow their tongues to dance together. There was no way Light would risk ruining the moment by wondering why L was skipping the usual work-up.

L's hands were already moving, his body already warm. He shifted his nimble fingers to the front of Light's button up shirt where he immediately began tearing at the restraints in his way. All the while, they dared not part in their kisses. Frustrated with the buttons, L simply ripped downward, popping Light's shirt open and sending one of the buttons flying across the living room. And of course, this was the thing that broke their kiss. Light lifted his head, his almond eyes widening in dismay.

"Lawliet! This shirt's only a week old!"

"I don't care." As brisk and as honest as always, L didn't sugarcoat anything. L's voice was husky as he discredited the button; his voice had that quality to it that Light knew meant that L was in the moment. Light's bare chest exposed, he immediately began running his pale hands across the hardened muscles he loved so much. "I don't care about your shirt, and you better not stop to retrieve that button." He leaned in and suddenly nipped at Light's earlobe, his teeth closing around the tender flesh playfully. Light let out a small yelp, despite the fact that it hadn't really hurt.

"Damn it Lawliet! I told you to stop biting!" Breathing heavily, L fixated his dark pools onto Light.

"But you bite too." Light was also huffing from the build-up, and he also couldn't deny L's statement. Although it wasn't really biting per say…more like nips. He'd never actually harm his Lawliet. L'd been through too much to even jest at such a thing during their most tender moments.

L leaned forward and began nuzzling his pale nose into Light's neck.

"Bring me upstairs," he whispered the order, his voice full of yearning. Light smiled. That was one order he never had a problem obeying. But before Light even had a chance to scoop him up as he wanted, L lifted himself, wrapping both his arms and legs around him. He squeezed his partner, keeping his face buried in Light's neck as he did so. Light could feel his heart racing, his body heat rising. He could feel it in L too. L was eager. And it was a rare treat since his libido was cooler than Light's. He felt L tremble, just once.

"Hurry…" he whispered into his neck and ear, his hot breath washing over Light's skin. Light felt that familiar tingle run through his nerves. His body was growing hotter by the second. And what was more…he could feel the seat of Lawliet's jeans against him. Light's breathing became faster still as he began to comply with L's request. He hurriedly headed for the stairs. Careful not to drop or let go of L, he started to place each foot onto the next step. Within only seconds the two were out of sight.

***

Sheryl, on the other hand, wasn't nearly as happy as the upstate New York couple. Not even a bit. Not even close.

When she came home to her house, where she lived all alone, she slammed the front door closed behind her. She tossed her purse violently into the opposite wall. Then she let out a scream of rage. She stood in the foyer, seething, her shoulders rising up and down. Her once beautiful face was now twisted and warped in an expression of total fury, its coloring red. Her once perfect hair now lay in a haphazard fashion all around her face, it's dark brown pieces sticking up in places as if she'd run through a wind. She hardly seemed to care as she let out another scream. It shook the house as it broke and wavered, its pitch shrill.

"It's not FAIR!" She ran forward, grabbing one of her many expensive and beautiful oil candles from off of her glass table. She threw it heartlessly against the wall where her purse now lay, defeated on the floor. It shattered like a shrapnel bomb. Glass went everywhere, the oil stained the wall.

"Light's supposed to be mine! MINE! He _would_ be mine if it weren't for that little freak! That fag! That social reject! I hate him! _I HATE HIM!_" She continued to seethe, her eyes wild, like that of a beasts. She stood for a few moments more, no longer screaming. Then slowly, carefully, she started to calm. Her heavy breathing lessened, her fists started to unclenched.

There was no reason to get so upset after all. There were still plenty of ways a girl could get her way. Just because Light said they couldn't see each other or be friends didn't mean she couldn't see him at work. He even said so himself, that it was ok to see each other at work, because they were co-workers. That was right. So it wasn't like she'd never see him again. So all that was left now was to come up with a new plan.

"Lawliet has to suffer," she said out loud to her broken things. And of course that was a given. He had to suffer for what he'd done, for taking Light away from her. For brainwashing her love into thinking he was gay, into thinking Lawliet was right for him, meant for him. Lawliet was evil. Evil for forcing something as wrong and as heinous and as disgusting as another man upon her Light. Light was meant to be with a girl. The perfect girl. Sheryl of course was perfect. Like Light was.

"We're just meant to be together," she explained to her weeping oil candle. "And Lawliet is poisoning him. If we take Lawliet out of the picture, Light will come back to his senses." Sheryl lifted a hand to her chin and carefully began to think.

"We have to be careful though. I can't be connected with whatever decision we make. That way, I can still play innocent. Light would only like a pure, innocent girl. So whatever happens to Lawliet can't be my fault. Even if Light suspects that it is my fault…if he can't prove it, I won't get into any trouble. Which means…I'll need some help…"

She stepped out of her living room and walked past the stairs and into her kitchen. She immediately headed for a drawer near the stove. She pulled it open and took out her address book. She knew a few shady characters back from her reckless years as a teenager. They'd do almost anything for the right price. And she certainly was rich enough, thanks to her parent's inheritance. How else could a twenty two year old own her own house? She flipped through the numbers carefully until she found the one she wanted. She smiled to herself. Yes. These people would surely help her. She grinned.


	7. Poison

Because L worked from home, he was always the one left in charge of shopping. Light would have left him in charge of cleaning too, but because L was so bad at it, or rather, he hated it so much that he pretended to be bad at it, cleaning was one thing Light had to do himself, which was probably for the better anyway. Light was so systematic and anal about how it was to be done that L would have been chastised even if he _had_ offered to do it.

But cleaning was beside the point. The point was that on Tuesday morning, after Light had gone to work, L was left with a list of things to buy. He held it up from off the counter between thumb and forefinger as he held most of his objects. He read it over once. Most of the items were food items. As with most of the things Light wanted him to buy, the ingredients were fresh. Light enjoyed cooking. Seeing as L hated cooking, it was almost perfect that Light willingly filled that role. If he hadn't, L was sure he never would have started eating properly.

"Chicken, orange juice, brown sugar…" L's voice trailed off when he realized what all of these ingredients were for. Immediately a gleeful smile spread over his face. "Orange chicken!" It had been one of his most favorite recipes ever since Light had made it for him the first time. Its main ingredient may have been chicken, but the sauce it was in was sugary and sweet. Light insisted that it was healthy and had protein and other such nutrients in it, but it tasted almost like a treat. Light refused to make it every single night, against L's requests, because he said it would 'wear the flavor out.' Whatever that meant. L was certain that a dish couldn't lose its flavor the more often you cooked it. Still, he was sure what Light meant to say was that he'd get tired of it. Which of course was ridiculous. No one could get tired of orange chicken.

"I'm pleased!" He shoved the list into his pocket, his smile only growing. He knew Light had left him the list specifically as a surprise, to brighten his morning perhaps. And it had worked like a charm.

L went to the door, a small little hum escaping his mouth as he went. He'd never been much of a singer and he couldn't carry a tune, but there was something special about his mood. He knew he was happy. And he had been happy often enough now to recognize it and to embrace it when it happened.

L'd simply been thrilled when Light came home last night and told him the news. The very idea of it, the visual of Light taking Sheryl and telling her, explaining to someone else how important L was to him and that no one was to mess with him. It had stirred something in him.

L's cheeks quickly grew warm as a pinkish color came to his face. His grin grew until it started to hurt. He couldn't have been any happier. Last night had been marvelous. L reached for his coat and took it off of the coat rack as he basked in the glory of the previous evening. He still felt warm inside…or maybe that was just his imagination. Either way, he hoped the feeling would stay throughout the day.

He slipped his arms into his coat, then zipped up the front. The temperature was getting colder everyday and he knew that soon he'd have to start wearing the mittens he hated so much. The hat was ok…but the mittens he hated.

L slipped into his sandals. He wondered briefly about his poreless feet. Surely there was a way to make a sneaker that would work to his disability. Winter had been so hard the previous year. L recalled being frigidly cold…his feet raw and red from being in nothing but sandals out in the snow. And of course, they could never stay out for long or risk health affects. He'd tried socks; they would have been all right, air-wise. But they got wet in the snow and had made the ordeal even worse. There had to be a way to let air in and out, but to seal out moisture…

"Hm, later," he informed his brain. L really just wanted to go out and enjoy his day and the left over feelings from last night. The unique problem of his feet would only get in the way.

L stepped outside and locked the door behind him. Carrying nothing, for his money and the list were in his pockets, he started down the road toward town. He took his time, enjoying the colors of the leaves around him. The tree laced road held every fall color there was: deep maroons, bright yellows, fiery oranges and ketchup red. That, plus the brisk nip in the air and the smell of wet leaves really made it clear that Halloween was right around the corner. In fact, there was only another week left until the holiday, until L's birthday.

The grin that had attacked L's face in the house returned, straining his already sore cheeks a second time. He really couldn't wait. This year was going to be different from all the other years. This year he would have a Halloween, he would have a birthday. He'd never experienced one before, and he knew, simply knew that Light was planning something big. He'd seen it on his face.

"We'll go to the town hall costume party for certain!" he told the trees around him. With just the faintest breeze the trees released their leaves and an array of yellow and gold fluttered down, twirling like fairies caught in a breeze. They danced and flittered and L watched in something close to awe. He'd never really appreciated nature before. But then again, he'd always been too busy. _Or rather…I'd been too lost to care._ That was right. L recalled the way he used to approach each day. Not like this. He'd never experienced life like this.

"After the party…he's probably going to get me a cake." L entertained himself by trying to guess what type of cake Light would buy for him. Or…make for him. Yes. Light would make it himself. He was good with food.

L reached town and stepped off of the road and up onto the sidewalk. The shops started right away, and they were all very closely built next to one another. It made a walk through town on errands very easy, and because L did this sort of thing rather often, he was well known by many of the shop keepers. All of them were friendly.

L had a few places to stop besides just the grocery store. And of course, the ice cream shop was one of them. It was on his way and first in the long line of shops, so he ducked inside.

The usual cheery bell chimed as he entered and Katie immediately looked up from the counter where she'd been reading. The ice cream shop was jam packed during the summer. But around October it really slowed down. Still, they made plenty of profit in summer to last them through the slow season.

"Hey Lawliet!" Katie beamed as he entered. Smiling quite proudly himself, he hurried over to the counter where he didn't hesitate to take one of the swivel chairs. He plopped down on it, seated regularly for once due to the small size of the tiny bar chair. It was simply too small for him to curl up on top of. But it didn't matter to him today.

"Katie! I wanted to stop in and tell you that you were right." Katie leaned on the counter in front of him, her chin resting in her hand. Clearly she was already ready to listen to whatever it was L had to say to her.

"Right? About what? I mean which part? I'm right about a lot of things!" She grinned. L chuckled.

"All of it. You were right. I had nothing to worry about. Light took care of everything, just how he always does." Katie noted the pink coloring in L's cheeks and she quickly let out a giggle, her green eyes crinkling shut with merriment.

"Really? How so? Did he set you straight? He told you how hot you are?" L blinked, his dark eyes widening.

"Hot? I…no. I mean, yes. He did explain that I have…a…attractive qualities. But he never said that I…" L gaped at the teenage girl in front of him. "I would never describe myself as…"

"Awe Lawliet! Loosen up!" One of Katie's small hands immediately came out, slapping L on his shoulder. L flinched simply because he hadn't been expecting it. He was comfortable with Katie, more so than with other people, but physical touch was still something that was startling or frightening when it wasn't from Light. Katie, he decided he trusted. A few pats on the shoulder and back had been exchanged. And it had been all right. But anything physical from others still managed to make him feel uncomfortable.

"So he told you that you're gorgeous. What else happened?"

"I…_gorgeous?_" L cried. Katie burst out laughing at his stunned face.

"Hahaha! You're so easy to tease!" It took her a moment more to settle down as L's face turned red. He frowned. He wasn't sure he liked being teased. But soon Katie was herself again and she smiled his way.

"So what about Sheryl, what happened with her?" L found his smile again and his embarrassment was forgotten.

"He told her that he wasn't interested in her and that he wouldn't forgive her for hurting me."

"Whoa! Lawliet that's awesome!" L grinned from ear to ear. He knew all to well how 'awesome' it really was.

"So, I just wanted to stop by and tell you how it went, that you were right. From now on, I'll be more open with Light and I'll trust him enough to tell him my concerns right away. That is…if he doesn't have some incapacitating virus."

"Yeah! That's the spirit Lawliet!" Katie smiled again and L had to smile too. Her cheer was infectious. It was great to have a friend like her.

"I have some errands to run, so I can't stay." L went to get up out of the stool. Katie's smile slipped.

"Awe, can't you stay for some ice cream?"

"Not today. I don't want to ruin lunch." And of course, when Katie heard that, she had to smile. That was more like it. L was back to normal.

"Ok Lawliet. Have a good rest of the day." She waved as he headed for the door.

"I will!" He waved back in his odd, fluttery way, and then was out the door and back on the street.

He doubted the day could possibly get any better. And it really couldn't. Even the trip to the grocery store went well. Lawliet got the things on his list and when he was ringing up, Casey, the owner of the store and Marge, the cashier both proceeded to tell him about the Halloween party at town hall next weekend.

"You're coming aren't you?"

"Light said the two of you were coming." L smiled at both of them. He loved the people in this town. It was as if they were from another planet, far far away from most of the people he'd been familiar with in the entirety of the rest of his life.

"Oh we'll be there," he confirmed.

"Oh great! Me and John will be dressed and Fred and Wilma from the Flintstones!" L had to laugh. He knew better than to say it out loud, but John would make a fine Fred Flintstone. He had the belly for it, and also the slow wit.

"Do you have your costumes yet Lawliet?" This was from Casey.

"No. But we'll be ready by next weekend." The three exchanged a few more tidbits of chit-chat, but then another customer arrived and Marge was forced to ring them up. Knowing they needed to get back to work, Lawliet took his two plastic bags in hand and started to say goodbye.

"Oh, Lawliet, wait a second," Marge called. "There's a couple of cute girls on the corner having a bake sale. I think they're from out of town, I don't recognize them, but I know how much you love cupcakes. You might want to go see them." And cupcakes, being one of L's most favorite treats, caused his innards to give a small leap. Yes. He would have to go see the bake sale.

"Thanks Marge. See you tomorrow." They waved, and then L was back out the door. L thought briefly of stopping by the bakery, just to say hello to , but the allure of a bake sale was too much. Especially if it was being had by young girls as Marge said. If the sellers were in high school, it meant it was probably a fundraiser. And if that were true then the cupcakes would be fifty cents at most. And he certainly couldn't tell that he'd be buying his goods elsewhere today. L knew he was his best customer. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"I'll make it up, by buying extra next time I go." L smiled to himself. It was the perfect excuse to spoil himself the next time he went to the bakery. An extra cookie maybe. Light would chastise him, surely, but that was part of the allure. Sometimes…L liked knowing Light cared enough to yell at him.

Excitement building at the concept of cheap cupcakes, L turned the corner and spotted the group Marge had been referring too. There were three girls, and L didn't recognize any of them. L was sure that they were indeed from out of town. Everyone around here knew one another, which meant the girls were desperate for sales to traverse into another town.

Still, it was a little odd. Would high schoolers really come all the way to another town to sell their baked goods? L spotted a car. So then they were seniors. If they had the ability to drive, it explained a lot. L had noted that in the off season, the only people they really had coming through town were college students and seniors in high school. Because they were so new to driving, driving anywhere was fun and seemed like a good idea to them. Especially if they had time off, or an excuse to go somewhere new. Their adventurous spirit no doubt had led them to the idea that selling in another town might boost their profits.

The three girls saw L coming and quickly waved him over, large sales-man smiles on their faces.

"Hey mister! Would you like to help us raise money for our home economics club? They want to close the club because of the budget, so we're trying to save it by making some money and to show how good we are at baking." L was at the table in a heartbeat. Save a cooking club by buying sweets? If L was put on the earth for something other than putting criminals in jail…surely this was his purpose.

He looked to the girls, all three seemed cute and stylish. At least, L thought they were stylish. He really had no sense about such things. But they had on the little sweaters that seemed so popular these days, and those shirts with the patterns on them. One of them had on those scarves that Light had once informed him were really expensive, but it might have just been an imitation. Either way it didn't matter, the girls all smiled at him. Some of the smiles seemed strained of nervous, but that fit. They were trying to save their baking club after all. And some people were bad at social situations. They just wanted a sale.

His gaze went to the table. It was loaded with goodies: brownies, cookies, banana bread, pumpkin loaf, and of course, the infamous cupcakes L loved so much. They were dark chocolate with orange frosting and on top they read "Trick or Treat." They even had little candy corns lining its edge. Surely there was no contest between the cupcakes and the other treats.

"How much for the cupcakes?" he questioned. The girl standing at the front of the table smiled.

"Only twenty five cents!" L's eyes bugged. Too good. Way too good to be true. The deal was so enticing and so promising that L didn't even hesitate.

"Four please." But he instantly changed his mind. "Eight please." The girl giggled.

"You must really love cupcakes!" L hardly heard her as he fished two dollars out of his pocket. He handed it to the lead girl in front of him who opened a box and placed the bills inside. L's quick eyes noted that there was no other money inside the box. That was odd. Hadn't they made any other sales? Then again, they may have just arrived and finished setting up. None of the other treats seemed disturbed.

One of the other girls started packing the cupcakes into a cardboard box for him.

"Leave one out if you would," he requested. "I'll have one now." All three girls paused in their work and glanced at one another in an odd way, but it had only been for a fleeting second. Still, despite its length, L caught it. What was that about? The lead girl turned to him and smiled even more brightly than before. The smile still seemed strained, despite her having made the sale.

"Wow! Your sweet tooth is really something!" L blinked at her. It was a strange reaction to something so simple. Did they want something else? Did they want him to leave? L started to analyze the situation further. Something funny was going on. But before he could really start tackling it, the girl with the cupcakes handed him the box. The lone cupcake he requested sat on top, looking fresh, delicious and promising. He could even smell it. The chocolate was clearly hand-made.

"This looks delicious, thank you girls," he said politely. All thoughts of the oddities of the situation vanished as he gazed at his treat.

"You're welcome! Have a nice day!" L turned around and started back down the sidewalk. He wanted to eat his cupcake. Immediately. But there were problems with his bags. He now had two plastic bags full of groceries and a box of cupcakes. He tried shifting everything onto one arm so he'd have a free hand to eat with, but it was almost impossible to do while moving.

L stopped walking just in front of Casey's Grocery store and put down his bags. Maybe he'd just have the cupcake now. That way he wouldn't have to worry about carrying it the rest of the way home. He lay down his box next to his bags as well, then held his single cupcake in both bare hands. He grinned at it. Surely this was indeed one of the best days ever. He lifted it to his mouth where he parted his lips. Then he sunk his teeth in, taking a large bite out of the treat.

He was immediately pleased. The chocolate was indeed hand-made and there was even a cream filling inside. And the frosting wasn't the cheap kind, but the rich buttery kind he liked so much. L was enjoying himself, much like a child would, content in his perfect day with his perfect boyfriend and his perfect treat…that was…until he swallowed.

The pain was instantaneous. His precious mouthful of cupcake turned into a ripping, burning weapon. He felt it tearing at him as it slid down his esophagus. As if it were comprised of tiny knives, or as if he'd swallowed a sea urchin. It ripped at his tender innards, destroying his throat as it moved to even more fatal places.

L immediately cried out from the stabbing agony and his body, eager to protect itself, made him start to gage. He hunched over, dropping the half eaten cupcake to the sidewalk as his hands went to his knees for support. He coughed viciously, desperately, but the chocolate treat wasn't going to come back out. Instead, he felt it when it entered his stomach and began tearing away at his lining.

He let out a cry as the pain only intensified. Instinctively, his hands went to his stomach where he clutched the agonizing area. He knew, even as it was happening to him, that he'd been poisoned.

L lifted one of his hands, and even as he began to tremble from the fear of what this could mean, he jammed it into his pocket for his cell phone.

_Forty-five minutes,_ he reminded himself. _That's what I'd told Light…that they wouldn't be able to make it…for forty-five minutes…_L still knew it was his only chance. He couldn't call 911. He couldn't call the police or the medical staff in this small town. He didn't even have an official last name. Every one knew him as Lawliet. When he'd been forced to give a last name, he'd said Yagami. People dismissed it as 'cute' and let him on his way. But if he were admitted to a regular hospital, the truth would be revealed.

His fingers fumbled with the phone as he struggled to dial. It was getting much worse and very quickly. The pain…like his throat were bleeding…like his gut were being stabbed with a knife.

L jammed his thumb into speed-dial three. Trembling wildly, another cry escaping his lips, he held the phone to his ear. Slowly, he started to curl, sinking to the sidewalk. He couldn't stand it…the pain.

"Hello, special services. What's the password?"

"Ugh…h…sh…shinigami…"

"Gotchya, L. We'll be there as soon as we can. We have your cell on our tracker system, so even if you move we'll find you. It'll be ok." But knowing quite well that poison was a race against time, L knew they had to bring the antidote with them. But of course, he wasn't sure what he had. Still…he had to try.

"I…I've been poisoned. It…" Another stab of agony coursed through him, tearing and ripping at his stomach. He let out another cry, this one much louder than the last. He knew he'd be attracting attention soon. He had very little time to finish his conversation.

"The symptoms are…biting and b…b…burning. The effects were instanta…aneous. It feel…feels like…stabbing and…uu…_ugh!_" L sank even further to the ground until he was on his hands and knees. He curled up, pressing his free hand into his deteriorating gut.

"It could be…D…DumbCane…or..or…"

"Lawliet!" The cry came from behind him. But there was no way L was going to be able to lift his head to see who it was. His trembling increased and it took all he was to simply close his phone so that the call was ended. There was the sound of running feet and a second later someone was at his side.

"Lawliet! Are you ok? What's the matter?" L recognized the voice. It was Marge. She must have come outside for her smoke break. Even through his piercing agony he could smell the cigarette. Marge knelt down beside him, gently putting a hand to his trembling body.

Another piercing stab, this one worse than the last as his stomach tried to break something down that it shouldn't. L dropped his phone and clutched his stomach with both hands, curling his arms helplessly around himself. He could not longer contain it, he let out a scream. He bowed his head into the sidewalk, letting his wild hair hide his face.

"Lawliet! What's the matter!" He heard a second pair of feet, then a third. People from the grocery store no doubt.

"Marge! What's happening?"

"I don't know! I came outside for a cigarette and I saw him just…collapse!"

"Someone call 911!" L's heart raced. No. This was bad. Very very bad. If they called 911, the medical team of this town would arrive much sooner than the special staff Watari had put in place for him. He'd be taken to a real hospital, with a real staff.

L quickly broke out into a sweat. The poison was working fast. He felt his temperature rising. His stomach was tearing itself to shreds.

"…n…no," he tried to delay them, keep anyone from making the call. "I alr…already…called…" but his voice trailed off as he felt something hot rise in the back of his throat. He started to taste something…like metal.

"Call…Light…" and then, whatever it was in the back of his throat had to come up. L's body lurched, L tried to scream, the stabbing pain became a razors tearing, but his voice was blocked as liquid came out of him. He squeezed his eyes shut as the sensation of vomiting took him in its grasp. He felt his head pound as his stomach tried desperately to reject the thing inside of him. Briefly, there was no air. But then the sensation ended and he gasped in air after his stomach contents passed.

He heard an array of gasps, and a cry of alarm from the crowd that was gathering. His trembling increasing, L slowly opened his now watering eyes, and what he saw was a dark red puddle before him. Blood. The smell of it was unmistakable. The taste of metal in his mouth. It dripped from his lips.

L was in far too much agony to be repulsed, besides the crowd was doing that for him. Tears began streaming down his face.

_I'm going to die, _he thought suddenly. He wouldn't survive forty-five minutes. He doubted he'd survive twenty. The puddle of blood didn't contain what he'd hoped. There was no bit of cupcake inside of it. His sweat and tears fell to the soiled sidewalk.

"L…Li…Light…ca…call…"

"Someone already called him for you." Casey's voice said from his side. "911 has been called again too. You'll be ok." L heard Casey shift then as he faced the gathering crowd. L had no idea how many were now gathered. "Someone call the police! Clearly this was done on purpose! Someone go get those girls on the corner!" L heard several feet scatter. There was a group, most likely men, going after the girls who'd poisoned him. So it was that obvious then.

Someone grabbed the half eaten cupcake off the ground and started to inspect it. L didn't know who it was until they spoke. He refused to lift his head from the sidewalk.

"There's something in this!" L trembled, his fear building. _How can I die like this? How stupid. I was so wrapped up in my emotions…so focused on my joy…that I ignored my thoughts. I knew something was wrong with those girls…I ignored it. I ignored it. And now…now I…_

Suddenly, there was a pair of arms around him. He was gently lifted, then placed in someone's lap. L remained curled, but the kind person pressed his face into her shirt. He immediately knew it was Marge, he smelt the stale smoke. She wrapped her arms around his sweaty, trembling form.

"It'll be ok…the ambulance is on the way. Light is on the way. Jimmy and the others will get those girls…" She gently started to stroke his matted hair as if he were a child. Yet, L had never been more grateful. If he were to die…he wanted to die like a human being…in someone's arms, being recognized as another human being who was in pain.

The pain cut him again, he cried out. More blood came up. He coughed violently, trying to breathe through the liquid in his way. Marge's grocery store apron was immediately stained.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Where's the ambulance!"

"Will Lawliet be ok?" L let his eyes close. He couldn't see much past Marge's apron anyway. He concentrated on the steady stroking motion of her hand, sliding through his sweaty hair. These people…were concerned for him. They were worried for him. They were scared for him. And even through the agony, the fear of dying…L found joy in being loved. He knew these people were good, that they were friendly, but he had no idea they cared for him this much. Cared enough to hold him while he bled to death.

L felt his strength weakening already, and it had only been mere minutes. And suddenly, his fear spiked three fold. What if he died before Light reached him? What if he couldn't see Light? His tears of pain became tears of panic.

"R…Rai…to…Rai…"

"Shh…he's coming. He's on his way. He'll be here soon." Marge's hand comforted him, gently stroking his trembling form. L tried to focus on it instead of the tearing in his gut. No…it was moving lower. His body was trying to break it down. His lightning fast metabolism was going to kill him. He cried out in pain one last time, then his entire body stiffened, then bucked in Marge's arms. His eyes grew wide with horror. He was starting to seize.


	8. After Math

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the wait ladies and gentlemen, but just like the rest of the world, the holidays took over a lot of my time the past few weeks. But now I'm back and hopefully I'll have a bit more leeway with my spare moments. Anyway, here's the next chapter. It's a decent length, so hopefully it'll satisfy those of you who were so patient to wait for it. Thanks for your support everyone!

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Light was speeding. He hadn't bothered to tell anyone why he was leaving. He didn't tell his boss or even Byte who was in the room with him when he received the call. He'd simply run out of the office. He'd gotten in his car, and he pressed the accelerator to the floor. He had to get there. He had to get there fast.

_Lawli…_ His heart was pounding as if he were running all the way there instead of driving. Each minute was an eternity; each second he was apart from Lawliet was torture. He was hurt. Light didn't know the details. The call had come from Casey. All he knew was that L was hurt, sick, throwing up blood. It was serious and 911 had been called. That was all. That was all it took to instill the deepest and most horrifying dread he'd ever felt in his entire life.

_Lawli…_He could still see L's face from the previous night. He could see the mischievous, playful smile. He could still feel L's lean body, his warmth, his breath. He could see those eyes…those dark, mysterious eyes he loved so much fill with that dreamy look that L had only when he was really and truly in love. Light could still feel his heat, his heart thudding against his chest.

Lawliet was real. The most real thing he'd ever experienced. He was alive. He was full of the fire of life. His attitude, his wit, his defiance, even the things Light thought he hated about him he loved. Because all of these things were what made L so real. Lawliet, his Lawli.

"Damn it! Go faster you piece of shit!" he screamed at the Toyota. But it was going as fast as it could at its old age. Light was cresting at one hundred miles per hour and the old car had nothing left in her to give. Still, Light was making the usually twenty-five minute drive in record time. He was coming up on their little town within only ten minutes.

He raced into town like a bat out of hell, and within only a couple of seconds he saw the flashing light's of the town ambulance. He slowed down, spotting a huge crowd. He quickly and almost recklessly slung the Toyota onto the curb. Leaving the car on, he flung open the driver's door and started to race toward the area on foot. It was as he was approaching that he saw the stretcher. L had already been strapped down to it and the paramedics were loading him up and into the ambulance.

Light could have cared less about their secrecy. He could have cared less about someone possibly finding out that they weren't who they said they were, that they were an infamous murderer and an infamous detective from Japan. He simply didn't care. All he cared about was getting onto that ambulance before it closed its doors.

"_Lawliet!_" he screamed desperately. He raced; he flew toward the ambulance's open doors. He shoved his way through the crowd, the kind people who were trying to part for him being just too slow, then leapt at the vehicle just as L was finished being shoved inside. Light grabbed the closing door, stopping it with his hands.

"I'm Light! I…I'm his boyfriend! You have to let me in! You have to let me ride with him! Please!" The paramedics stared for only a moment. They saw the desperate need in Light's eyes. One of them nodded. Light immediately boarded the vehicle. The doors were slammed shut, blocking out the crowd and all of their friends. Then without waiting, the driver turned on the siren and slung the truck around. They were heading to the hospital and fast.

Light ran to L's side along with the paramedics. They immediately began stripping him and shoving needles into his arms. L, Light saw, was still somewhat conscious. But despite that, he hardly seemed like he was actually with them. He was slow to respond, if he responded to the paramedics at all. He seemed half asleep, or as if he'd been bashed in the head. He groaned weakly, but that was the only sign he gave to his worried partner.

Light had to stay out of the paramedic way as they rammed something down his throat. It was at this point when L actually reacted. His body jerked violently from the shock, but he was strapped down so as not to hurt himself. He let out a muffled cry as the paramedics began sucking blood out of his esophagus. Light stared, wide-eyed with total horror as the clear tube became stained red.

"He can't breathe! Get the oxygen mask!"

"It's no good! There's too much blood!"

"Then stick him with a fuckingthoracoscopy! The problems in his throat, his lungs are fine! Hurry!" One of the paramedics rammed a tube through Lawliet's chest. Immediately they could hear the flow of air. The paramedics seemed satisfied.

"Give him that IV bag over there."

"Yes!" They hooked him up, and within a few minutes, they'd done all they could to stabilize him until he could be diagnosed and reach the emergency room. Light watched the entire thing as if he were frozen in time. He couldn't move. He couldn't blink. He couldn't even breathe.

_Lawli…_

Things happened far too quickly. It was like a blur. When they reached the hospital in the next town over, the back doors to the truck were flung open. L was whisked out of the ambulance and it took Light some effort to keep up with the running paramedics. They rushed L through the hall and down toward the ER. There, Light was kept out and the doors closed behind his Lawliet.

Eventually, he found himself in the waiting room. Even in his panic, he knew better than to fill out any of the forms handed to him. He could not give this hospital their information. So…he simply gave into his emotions. The nurses wouldn't push him, at least not right away. Not while L was still in surgery.

Light waited. As he did, his mind raced. What had happened exactly? He knew very little. All he had to go on was that phone call he'd gotten from Casey. Casey had said little, and Light had heard even less. Lawliet had gotten sick. He'd thrown up blood. That was all he knew. But why? Why would Lawliet grow so ill so suddenly? What could possibly cause him to throw up blood?

From what Light saw in the Ambulance…whatever this was had to be something serious. It couldn't have been something trivial like a sudden stomach virus. It couldn't have even been an ulcer. Ulcer's couldn't be that serious, could they? Was it stress? Stress from everything that had been happening with Sheryl? No. Surely not. Light had seen L in much harder circumstances. He'd seen him bravely, and boldly take on death, take on Kira. He'd faced hardened murderers. He'd challenged insane homicidal maniacs, using his own life as a playing card. No…stress couldn't do this to L. He handled himself too well while under pressure. Even the new L, even Lawliet, who gave into his emotions and admitted his feelings wouldn't bow so easily. Never. L could have seemed as if he were weaker than he used to be. He may have given off the impression that because he gave into his feelings now instead of hiding them up, that he was somehow softer. But Light knew it wasn't true. Light knew that L was in fact stronger than he was before. Because of the changes he'd gone through…because of the new things he'd acquired and the old skin that he shed, he was stronger. If a situation became serious, Light knew he could handle it. He was unmovable when the time called.

So then what? What could cause him to get so ill? And how serious was it? In the ambulance…it had looked really bad. He couldn't die could he? No. There was no way L would die. Right?

…

_Right? _

…

Light broke out into a sweat. As he sat in the waiting room chair, he noticed that his hands were starting to tremor. He leaned forward in his turquoise seat and quickly clasped the sweaty palms together to try and settle them. No…Lawliet would be fine. Surely. The toothpaste colored walls and the smell of disinfectant assured him as much. They assaulted his nose and made him feel ill…but it was the smell of a familiar place. L had been in places like this before, grievingly, at Light's own hands. And during those times…the smells were the same. Hospitals smelt the same over in Japan as they did here in America. And that reeking odor of urine, new plastic, old people, and cleaning fluids assured him that the same result would be had. L would be fine.

"Light Yagami?" Light practically jumped out of his skin. He hadn't heard the doctor approach. He'd been too busy steadying his trembling hands and wiping the cold sweat off of his forehead. His heart leapt at the scare and began beating itself even more quickly than it already had been. Now it felt like a jackhammer. It almost had the power to make him feel faint.

"Uh…y…yes!" Light immediately got to his feet. His caramel eyes wide with worry he went to take a step forward. It was the doctor's face that stopped him. The doctor looked…

"Why don't you sit down?" Light's heart immediately froze. _Sit down? Don't they only tell people that when…_

The doctor saw the color drain from Light's face and he immediately understood the idea Light had.

"Oh! Oh no, sir, Lawliet is alive. He'll live. It's ok," he immediately tried to correct. Light stood there looking like he'd taken a shock to the groin. His body trembled all over again, this time the shiver running from his feet all the way up to the tip of his chestnut-honey hair. He let out a pathetic squeak of recognition, then collapsed into his seat. He looked five years older from the scare.

"Y…you…you bastard!" His voice wavered drastically, and the insult had sounded more pitiable than frightening. Light slouched forward, running a shaking hand through his caramel hair.

"I'm sorry sir…the news…the news can still be quite a shock. I wanted you to be prepared for what I'm about to tell you." Light, seemingly having gathered himself at least a tiny bit, lifted his head so he could face the good doctor.

"Is he ok? What happened to him? What the hell is wrong?" The doctor was quiet for sometime. Then he cleared his throat. He actually looked a bit nervous.

"Lawliet has been…Lawliet ingested something called dumbcane." Dumbcane? Light blinked. For once in his entire genius life, he had no idea what someone was talking about.

"What the hell is dumbcane?"

"Dumbcane is a type of ornamental plant. It's normally harmless if it's left alone in its natural state. But it can be very dangerous if it's ground up and put into food. The plant contains toxic crystals which if swallowed pierce the mouth, throat, and digestive tract as they pass through. If enough is ingested, it can even cause difficulty swallowing, speaking, and breathing. And of course, if it's not treated, convulsions, coma and death."

Light sat in his chair feeling stupid. What was this man saying? Lawliet ate a plant? The plant had been put into his food? Because of his racing heart and his incessant worrying over L's well being, he failed to put the message together before the doctor had a chance to speak again.

"…do you and Lawliet have any enemies that could have done this?" Light blinked. He lifted his almond eyes to meet the doctors. It was clear from Light's sad face that the doctor needed to explain more.

"…this…this was no accident. Lawliet has been poisoned with a dangerous toxin. It was found in the cupcake he'd been eating. We kept the cupcake as evidence for the police when they arrive. But the fact is that someone sold Lawliet that cupcake and gave it specifically to him. This was done deliberately."

Light sat in shock. What was the doctor saying? Someone tried to kill Lawliet? The idea seemed absurd. Everyone in town loved Lawliet. He was kind hearted, he was lovable. Granted he was not social, and he didn't go out of his way to meet others. But when he was in town, when he was about his business…everyone seemed to love him. He'd bloomed like a once wilted flower. And everyone could see how wonderful he was. So then why? How? How could anyone do this?

But of course, Light already knew the truth behind these questions. There was only one person who Light knew of that didn't like Lawliet. There was only one person Light knew who'd benefit from his death or suffering. And the longer Light sat there, the more he felt his grief and fear start to melt away. A small flame bloomed inside of him, and it slowly started to grow. But before he could give himself to his rapidly building emotions, there were things to do here at the hospital. There were issues he had to address, and more questions to ask. But first thing was first.

"N…no…I don't know anyone who could have done this…" he lied. He had to be careful, play his cards right. The hospital was already involved, which was very bad for them. But to involve the police also would be disastrous. At least right now, no one had records of them. Light hadn't touched any paperwork. But that would soon change if he didn't think of something. For now at least, he had to deny Sheryl's part in all of this. Still he was sure…certain, that only Sheryl would be cruel enough to put poison in Lawliet's favorite treat and then wave it in front of his nose. He wouldn't have been able to resist…

"Lawliet will be ok now," the doctor explained. "We removed the remains of the cupcake in surgery, and we were very careful to remove all of the remaining crystals in his system. His digestive tract is now clean. He's been hurt pretty badly however, so we'll need to keep him for about a week maybe more. He'll be put on an IV for his nutrients. He shouldn't eat anything for some time. But once he starts healing, we'll graduate him to liquid foods."

Light could only nod. The news was so horrific. He still had trouble absorbing it all. Poisoned. Deliberately. And given to him in a cupcake. It was cruel. Too cruel. Light could hardly believe that someone would first of all, think something like that up, then secondly, have the nerve to create such horrible cupcakes, then thirdly, actually go through with the plan of having them delivered to their destination.

Sheryl…Sheryl must have…envisioned Lawliet's demise. Thought of what he would go through, how he would suffer. The only reason to murder with poison was for two reasons: cowardice, because she was too afraid to get messy or have her face near the murder, or cruelty: to deliberately make it as painful and as long lasting as possible. She'd chosen the poison for both reasons. There was no evidence against her…right now anyway. But Light knew she was the one who'd done this. She did this to his Lawliet, right before his birthday, a week before the Halloween party.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair in the slightest. Lawliet deserved to have a good life, a pain free life. He deserved to have his first Halloween. He deserved to have his first birthday celebrated in his entire life.

Light had this birthday, this Halloween, planned for months. Ever since Lawliet had divulged the information to him that he had never had a birthday. He'd always been forced to work through all his previous birthdays. He had little choice. Because of his job, his responsibilities…he couldn't have a party. Crime didn't rest because he was a year older. Murderers didn't stop murdering so that the detective chasing them could have some cake and presents. Besides…L had no friends during those years. He'd only had Watari.

_He always did a little something for me, _Light recalled L saying during their discussion. _Even if there wasn't time, even if there was no party…he always made a point to at least bring me my most favorite treats. No matter how much it cost or how much time it took to prepare, he brought me the best. And if there was no team involved, if it was just me working on a solitary case, he usually brought me a small gift. Watari…did what he could under such circumstances. _Light had been able to tell just how much those small gestures had meant to L. Those treats, that one small gift…had been the world to the lonely detective. He had nothing else. That was why…this year…this year Light was going to make up for it. He was going to give him a party so great, so memorable that it would make up for all of those other years. But now…now…

Now L was hurt. In the hospital, yet again. And at the worst possible time. He was hurt and in the hospital at this same time last year thanks to Webber and his cruelty. L's birthday had been rather short and bland. Light had bought him gifts, sure, but L opened them in a hospital bed. Light had not been allowed to bring him a cake, due to the strict diet he'd been on. And of course, despite Light's efforts to make it a nice birthday…L had still been in tremendous amounts of pain. His physical therapy had practically been torture on his wounded leg and shoulder. Light recalled the tears of anguish he'd shed on his special day. And afterward, L had been too exhausted for the movie Light had order for his hospital television. L had fallen asleep, with help from medication.

Still…L had specifically made a point to tell Light…that it had been his best birthday he could remember. And that statement had filled Light with sadness. _This year for sure,_ he had told himself. _This year will be the best. _

"Sir?" It was the doctor's voice that finally pulled him out of his thoughts. "Sir? We're at Lawliet's room now. You can go in if you'd like." Light blinked. Somehow during his thoughts they'd walked down the hall and to Lawliet's hospital room. And now here he was standing before the door. The doctor gave him a reassuring smile, and then he left him. Light looked at the door before him, and then briskly stepped inside.

There, before him was a familiar scene. There was L, his small body resting in the white sheets of a small hospital bed. He seemed asleep and only his black tuft of hair stood out against the blinding white of the bleached bed dressings. He was hooked to an IV and a heart monitor, luckily, nothing else.

Almost used to the hospital visits by now, Light stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. He stepped over to the far bed, the one next to the window. A kind and thoughtful nurse had closed the blinds half way, so that the sun wouldn't rest in Lawliet's eyes.

Light sighed heavily. Then immediately plopped down in the chair provided at the side of Lawliet's bed. _Does it always have to go this way? Does he always have to be hurt like this? _he wondered in dismay. _If it has to happen…if someone has to get hurt…why can't it just be me?_

For a few moments, all Light did was stare at his downed partner. L…as always, looked young, peaceful, and innocent while sleeping. His face was smooth; no worry lines creased his brow where the burden of his thoughts usually rested. With his eyes closed, Light could not see the racing thoughts, the insights that branched off of other insights coursing through his neurons. The man that was always thinking, always planning or concocting looked like a child when he rested. _Ten years younger, at least,_ Light thought. It was because of L's young face that many people mistook him and Light for the same age. It was that very face that fooled those back in Japan into thinking that L belonged to the same college Light had attended. It was this face…

_This face…_

Light could hardly stop himself. And there was no reason for him to want to. He leaned in, carefully positioning himself over L's bed ridden form. He reached out, carefully, and tenderly pushing L's dark bangs aside. Light stroked him gently, slid his palm down to caress his pale cheek, then leaned in and planted the softest kiss he ever had on L's sleeping lips. It had been gentle enough to not even disturb a sheet of tissue paper if it had to be tested.

"Don't worry Lawli…I'll take care of everything. You just get better, ok? I'll take care of the hospital, the police…all the people involved. I'll figure it all out so that we're safe. You…you just get better. Heal. Rest." Light watched him a moment more. He couldn't believe how beautiful Lawliet looked at that moment. And it seemed almost stupid that Lawliet had ever questioned his looks.

"You're beautiful," Light whispered, hoping that L could hear it in his subconscious. "Sheryl is wrong. She's wrong about everything. You're beautiful and you're perfect for me…" and suddenly, there was a pressure behind his eyes, a heat. It throbbed for a second…then spilt into his eyes. Light sat up abruptly, pulling away from Lawliet's alluring face. He lifted a hand to his cheeks. Tears.

_I was wrong…I'll never get used to this. It's hard every time._ And it most certainly was. A hospital visit…never became routine.

"RING!" Light jumped nearly out of his skin as his cell phone went off, chiming the classical telephone ring as its call. He blinked for a moment, completely confused. But then he slowly reached to grab the singing offender. Blinking wildly to try and clear his tears, he looked at the screen and saw that the call was blocked. Again, confused due to his emotions, he simply picked up and placed it next to his ear.

"H…hello?"

"Hello. This is secret services. Can you tell us the password?" Light blinked. He'd almost completely forgotten all about the system he, L and Watari had all worked out. They had their own medical team and their own police for emergency situations. How did they know L was hurt?

_He must have called, _he thought. More importantly…the secret services would help with all of the problems Light had just been thinking about. They would deal with the hospital, the police, the employees. Light felt a huge wave of relief wash over him. That was right. They wouldn't be left high and dry ever again. Watari made sure of that. And so, eager to work things out, Light answered.

"Shinigami."

"Very good to hear from you Light Yagami. Our team had arrived at the designated area only to find L's phone lying on the sidewalk. As you know, we have your phone on a tracking device as well. We see you're at the local hospital. Has L been hospitalized there?" Light carefully looked around the room. He didn't see any cameras or microphones, but that never meant there weren't any. His own phone and L's were of course, untraceable and safe. But he'd still have to be careful in his conversation in case someone over heard his end.

"Yes," he said simply.

"Ok. Our team has informed Watari of the situation. He's given us the documents necessary to get L out of there. We're going to come in and transfer him to our facility. The hospital you're at now will think he's being transferred to the next town for special poisoning treatment. They won't check up on this. So everything has been taken care of. All we need you to do is leave the hospital in about five minutes. They'll let you go without asking about the paper work because we're going to put in the transfer call in two. While you're gone our team will take L to our facilities. This is necessary so you won't be connected with the transfer. After everything is done and secure, we'll give you another call and let you know our location."

Light listened carefully and as he did, he immediately began to calm. Good. They were still safe. No one would know their true identities. And most importantly, L would be getting the best treatment the world could offer. The doctors assigned to them were the best in both England and America. L would be safer. He'd recover faster. He'd be more comfortable. Maybe…if they were lucky…L would be out of the hospital in time for his birthday.

"I understand," he said into his phone. He also had to tell them about the police of course. But because of his location… "Have you seen the latest episode of Cops?" There, that should work nicely. The woman on the other end paused, and then seemed to catch on.

"Ah, I see. Are they there at the hospital? Have they been called yet?"

"No, the guy they arrested said the drugs weren't his, like they always do."

"Ok. If they haven't been called yet, then it's easy for us to fix. Hang tight and don't worry. We'll take care of everything. Ok? Just get out of the hospital in four minutes."

"Yeah. Ok. I'll talk to you later then."

"We'll contact you soon Light Yagami." Beep. The secret service hung up. Light flipped his phone shut, and then glanced at Lawliet once again. He would have liked to stay longer, kept his partner company while he slept, but of course…this was for L's safety, and his own. He needed to do as told.

"Lawli…I…I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you…" The apology seemed to come suddenly. Light hadn't even realized he felt guilty. But then there it was. Instead of being there with L, checking out his treats for him like a parent with a trick or treating child…Light had been at work. With the very person who'd done this. He'd been with Sheryl.

_Sheryl._ Light felt that heat from earlier rise back up inside of him. He felt it ignite in his heart, causing the organ to speed through its usual routine. As it lit on fire, it spread that fire throughout the rest of him. It hit his gut next, setting that aflame. Then it hit his throat, his jaw, his face. Then it pounded in the back of his eyes where his tears were only moments ago. And in only a few more seconds, his entire body was red and trembling with rage.

How dare she? How _dare_ she do this to Lawliet? How dare she make him suffer so? How dare she take away his Halloween, his birthday? How dare she humiliate him in front of the entire town? How dare she try to break their perfect life apart? A life that took them sweat and tears and blood to build. They'd _earned_ their happiness. And now…now that _bitch_!

Light found himself trembling in his seat. He could not see it himself, but if L were awake he would have noticed the change instantly. Light's usually kind almond eyes were now cold, harsh, and deadly. Similar if not exactly the same as the way they used to be back in Japan. He appeared…murderous.

Light stood up abruptly. His chair slid backward, squeaking against the floor at the abrupt movement. Light curled his fingers into fists. _Sheryl did this. And she did it without remorse, without a care! She's the one who'd hurt my Lawliet!_ And at that point, there was no stopping him. He marched to the hospital door, face red with his wrath.

_I'll make sure she never hurts Lawliet again!_ He held onto his hatred, he squared his shoulders and set his jaw. As he marched toward the door, he got one last wiff of Lawliet's sweet scent. But then as he exited into the hallway, it was gone. All there was now was cleaning fluid and the faint aroma of the sick and dying that couldn't be covered up with the bleach they used. Sheryl. Sheryl had put Lawliet back into this awful place. She was the one that sent him down, bleeding on the sidewalk. She was the only who'd hurt him, frightened him. She'd tried to take Lawliet away from him. No one got away with that. No one. And she was going to pay.


	9. Assault and Battery

Light pulled into the Comp Inc parking lot. He marched across the blacktop. He flung open the front door. He ignored Michelle who asked him what the matter was and where he'd been. He turned briskly down the hall. He shoved roughly past Don who had been carrying too many papers to see his approach. Light ignored the fluttering white sheets as they tried to obstruct his vision. He reached the cubicles. He turned down the second opening. He rounded the corner, passing the name plate that read 'Sheryl Kristington.' He set his eyes on the back of her head, not caring that she was on the phone with a client. Then he lunged.

There was no possible way Sheryl could have prepared herself. As such, she took the first blow full force. Light had reeled back his fist and curled his fingers into a rock hard ball of fury. He let it fly and slammed it as harshly as he could into the side of Sheryl's pretty face.

She screamed. The chair fell over. The phone was ripped from her hand by its cord. She collided with the floor. The phone swayed back and fourth off the edge of the desk as Light leapt. He kicked the chair aside. It was in his way. Then he jumped on top of his downed victim.

Sheryl turned her head, her right cheek already bruising. Her huge, frightened blue eyes focused on Light as he reeled back his other fist.

The sound of his knuckles connecting with bone seemed to echo through the office. More screams followed Sheryl's as the surrounding account executives realized what was happening. They ran out of their cubes, out of their isolated little patches of space.

"Light! What the hell are you doing?" One of them screamed. Another ran to get help. None of this concerned Light. None of it would stop him. He didn't speak, he didn't say a word. He simply beat Sheryl again. Then a fourth time. Then he struck her a fifth. He didn't stop. His rage overtook him, enveloped him in its stranglehold. All he could see was red.

Sheryl was sobbing hysterically. She screamed, begged, pleaded for him to stop. He didn't. He hit her a sixth time, then a seventh. Clearly he was prepared to beat her until she no longer moved.

"Li-! Light! Pl…please! Sto-! _STOP IT_!" But he wouldn't hear it. Sheryl's pleas only seemed to make him even more infuriated. He looked like a devil as he struck her yet again without remorse. He didn't care about the blood that was starting to coat his knuckles, he didn't care about the sound of crunching bone. He wanted Sheryl to die.

But of course, this couldn't go on. There were too many people around. Although the account executives around him were too scared to interfere or stop him, that didn't mean everyone in the office was. The account executive from earlier, who'd left for help returned at that time with three of the higher-ups. All of which were men who were larger than Light. They immediately tackled him.

They reached out, grabbing his arms, and with amazing force, dragged Light off of Sheryl. It was at this time, this moment, when his violence was interrupted that Light finally used his voice. He immediately let out a scream of fury.

"_Let me go! Let me go!" _But there was no way that would be happening. Light struggled against six hands. He fought viciously against their grip. His arms firmly being held, he kicked his feet, desperate to break free. He looked completely deranged. His face was red, his eyes wild like a savage beasts.

"_She hurt Lawliet! She tried to kill Lawliet! She's a demon! A witch! She did this! She did this! Don't stop me! Don't you dare try to stop me!"_ The entire office was now a madhouse. Everyone had rushed to the cubicles to see what was happening. One of the AE's was at Sheryl's side, trying desperately to do something for her bloody and ravaged face.

"Someone call 911!"

"Call the police!" Light didn't even care. He didn't even care that there was no way out of what he'd just done. He didn't care that he would be arrested. He wasn't thinking about secrecy or his and L's cover. He was only thinking about what Sheryl had done.

"_She poisoned him! She poisoned Lawliet!" _Clearly, no one knew what to think. But it was obvious that Light had to be taken away. The three higher-ups started to fight him, dragging him out of the cubed area, literally kicking and screaming. He fought, tooth and nail, with all he had.

"_I hate you! I hope you die! You'll burn in hell for what you've done! Burn in hell! You hear me you bitch!"_ Light was dragged down the hall. He was shoved roughly along until they reached the bosses office. It was the only room with a key lock from the outside. The three higher-ups shoved Light inside, then slammed the door shut. And that was where he'd stay until the police arrived.

The boss sent everyone home after that. But of course, not everyone left. Sheryl had to stay and wait for the ambulance. A few of her AE friends remained as well. Several of the higher-ups stayed just to make sure everything went smoothly and…Byte stayed too. He hardly believed any of it until he left his state of solitude in the PC repair room. But then…after seeing everyone was gone and the state of Sheryl's face…well…there was no denying it anymore.

It was shocking. Byte had always thought of Light as a pretty peaceful guy. He had always been relaxed when working on computers. He was even somewhat laidback when it came to conversation. He and Byte talked about plenty of things, but mostly the loves of their lives: computers for Byte and Lawliet for Light. They had lunch several times too. Byte had never thought of Light as a violent person. And he seemed so well put together that it was hard to imagine something that would make him crack like this. And so, Byte could only come up with one conclusion: what Light said about Sheryl poisoning Lawliet was either true, or Light believed it to be true. Nothing else in this world could cause him to break.

At least, that was what Byte believed. And so, he took his thin wobbly form over to the closed and locked door of the boss's office. For a moment, all he could do was stand silently before it. It was quiet now, but when Light had first been shoved inside…he'd thrown a fit. The racket that came from inside told everyone that all of the boss's things were probably smashed to bits by now. Still…Light seemed to have calmed.

"Uhh…Light? Buddy?" Byte's voice had squeaked, something that puberty had blessed him with. He blushed lightly. It hadn't sounded manly at all. He was shaking a little. Byte blamed it on his overdose of caffeine. He just couldn't seem to cut back on the coffee.

"H…hey. You know…I believe you. I know you wouldn't have hurt Sheryl unless you really think she did something to Lawliet…" he said quietly to the blank wooden plank in front of him. "Uh…I guess that's why you ran out of the office so fast earlier today. Cuz that call you got and everything. I guess it was pretty bad huh? Is…Lawliet ok? Is he in the hospital? I could um…I dunno, bring him some puzzle games if he's bored. I know he likes puzzles…"

Byte stopped suddenly when he heard the unmistakable noise of someone inhaling through a very stuffy nose. Light…was he…crying? It seemed absurd. Byte had thought the older man to be near invincible. Byte's green eyes widened with alarm. Lawliet wasn't…dead, was he?

"Uh…Light? I…uh…I uh, just wanted you to know that I'll stick up for you, no matter what ok? I mean, like, if you go to court or something. I can be a character witness and like…explain how awesome you really are and that you're not violent at all. I mean, this totally took me for a loop just now. I didn't believe it until I saw Sheryl. I mean, I'm not saying that you couldn't beat anyone up; I'm just saying you don't seem like the type. And I could totally tell the jury that. And if they don't believe me then, well, we have cameras in this place, we could just show them a tape of one of your normal days and then they'd see that you-!"

"Shut up Byte…" Byte felt his heart jump. That waver in Light's voice…he sounded so…so… "You talk in rapid fire…I…can't follow it right now…" Byte was very quiet for several seconds. It was true that he talked quickly. Again he blamed it on the caffeine. He licked his lips, then carefully tried to pick his next words.

"Uh…um…ok," he said. "Well…I can hear you're really upset. Is…is it…Lawliet?" Light was quiet a moment longer. In this moment Byte took the time to lean in closer. He cocked his head, turning his ear toward the wood. Yes. Light was defiantly crying. Only he was trying to be quiet about it.

"It's…Lawliet's ok. He's expected to make a full recovery in only a week or so…but…there's…more to it than that. I…I can't tell you anything Byte, but…what happened today…what I just did…I…I totally fucked everything up!" There was a loud bang from inside. It sounded like Light had punched the boss's desk.

"I'm going to jail! You…you have no idea what that means! What that means to Lawliet and me! I…I-!" But Light couldn't even seem to finish his sentence. He'd come back to his senses. And in doing so, he realized what his actions would cost him. Once the police came and arrested him, they'd run his file, his name, into their database. Even though Light had never been convicted of anything, there was a good chance he'd come up as being dead. Once that was out in the open, they'd investigate. Once they investigated…they'd find out about L. And L…he could do nothing to defend himself in a hospital. He'd been taken to jail too. They'd both be tried, convicted and killed. Light had effectively ruined their lives. No…worse…he'd taken their lives away. Byte could never understand what he'd done. What it meant.

"H…hey…it's ok." And there it was. The words of comfort he didn't want to hear from the other side of the wood. It would not be ok. As Light sat on the carpeted floor of his ex-bosses office, surrounded by shattered glass from his breakables, and overturned furniture, Light knew quite well that it would never be ok. He was going to die. And worst of all…he was going to lose Lawliet. His anger, his rage had controlled him. And now…now L would die too. He'd killed his lover.

There were suddenly noises on the other side of the door. Light heard new voices. Voices that didn't belong to any of his coworkers. Although he could not make out what they were saying…they were clearly authorative. It was the police.

Light started to panic. His heart picked up pace. His breathing hitched. They were going to die. If the police caught him…_Should I go out the window? Should I run? No…I can't. I can't leave Lawliet. I don't even know where he is. He's been moved to a secret base. I can't run without him. Besides…he shouldn't be moved. And he can't eat solids. He'll die…besides, if I run, I'll be on the wanted list. They'll never stop chasing us. We died so we could stop the chase! I can't just start it back up again! No! What if I-!_

Light's frantic heart and frantic thoughts were interrupted by a loud, frightening knock on the door.

". This is the police. We're about to come in. We want you to turn and face the door. Then lift your hands high up in the air so we can see that they're empty. If you're in any other position when we open the door…we will shoot you." Light's fear tripled. He could barely breathe. "Do you understand?" Light knew he had to do as he was told. At least for now. Maybe he could think of something later, but for now…

"Y…y…yes!" he stuttered. He turned and faced the door and quickly lifted both hands up above his head. He stared, tears still in his almond eyes at the closed plank of wood. He could hear Byte chattering away on the other side. His voice was muffled, but Light could clearly hear that he was talking a thousand miles a minute, probably trying to convince the officers that Light wasn't a threat.

", are you in position?"

"Y…yes!"

"We're coming in." The key was slid into the lock, and Light watched as the doorknob turned. Then, the door was shoved open very quickly, revealing two officers, both holding their guns fixated on Light's form. One officer was very large with dark chocolate skin. The other was a bit taller than Light, but still on the lean side. He looked more Italian. The officer's wasted no time in acting. One of them, the Italian, stayed in the door, his gun fixated on Light's position. The other, the black man, hurried into the room to grab Light.

He did so, roughly twisting his arms around his back. Within only a blink, Light found himself in handcuffs. His heart…he was sure it would explode from fear. He tried not to tremble. He tried to tell himself that he'd been in worse situations, and of course he had. But the problem here was that…he wasn't worried for himself; he was worried about L. L would be killed.

"Just cooperate, and it'll all be over quickly," the large officer said. The man seemed huge and dark. Absurdly so. Light wondered if there was any part of him that wasn't made of mussel mass. He was at least six foot five and there was no fat to be seen, just rippling, bulging muscle. Light was sure the man could break him in half like a toothpick, or at the very least, just carry him to the police car, since his legs felt like rubber.

The huge man grabbed his shoulder and held on tightly. Then he started to guide him out of the office Light had destroyed. The large man's partner put his gun away, then stepped up and took Light's other shoulder. The three of them exited the office and entered the hallway where the remaining workers who weren't injured gathered.

"Uh, oh, officers, it's uh…totally a freak thing, really! He's totally…I mean, Light, he's usually a really great guy. He only got so angry because you see, Sheryl poisoned his boyfriend. And uh, he's totally in love with him. You see? It's not…I mean, it _is_ his fault, but not really, because Sheryl started it. I believe Light when he says she poisoned him. Cuz Light's really honest. He's a truthful guy and uh…I…uh…just wanted to make clear…" Byte was already talking at the pair as they dragged Light out. He frolicked beside the three; chattering at a hundred miles a second even though the officers were ignoring him. They wouldn't even look the kid's way as they dragged Light out of the entire Comp Inc building and into the parking lot.

Once outside, Light spotted three other police cars. They were probably there to take reports from everyone and to make sure Sheryl got to the hospital.

"So…so he really didn't mean it. I mean, he _did_ but he doesn't have to be arrested. Sheryl was the one who should be arrested. I mean, she tried to kill someone! Light, well…he was just…uh…well…"

"Simmer down kid. We'll handle Sheryl later. She needs medical care before we can arrest her." The large officer said. But poor caffeine buzzed Byte didn't seem convinced. But there was nothing he could do as the officer's opened the back seat of their squad car. They shoved Light inside, then quickly slammed the door shut.

Light sat, feeling stunned. The car was new. The smell of the leather seats was overwhelming. There was even a pine scented air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror. Light said nothing as the two officers got into the front. Light dare not even move. He tried to sit back in his seat, but really couldn't because of the handcuffs at his back.

_Handcuffs…Lawli…_Light's mind immediately leapt backward in time to the Kira case in Japan. L…when Light had been handcuffed to him…that was the time that they had started to grow attached to one another. Despite the fact that both of them, representing opposite sides of a coin, were not supposed to feel anything but resentment for one another. They'd both defied their calling, and the masses of people that had relied on them. They'd both given up so much…just to be together. And now…now…

The police car roared to life as the large black man turned the key. It hummed. Then, as it was put into gear, it jerked into motion. Its four wheels started to roll, and the police man turned the car toward the exit.

_What have I done? What have I done!_ They pulled out onto the road and into traffic. Once they were moving at a fair pace, the smaller, Italian man twisted around in his seat. He focused on Light, then smiled brightly.

"So we did it! You can relax now, Light." Light blinked, not understanding. He stared at the Italian man, flabbergasted. Relax? How could he possibly relax! The Italian laughed.

"Man! You look like you're being driven to execution! Come on man! Loosen up! We rescued you! You and L will be fine now." Light's brown eyes grew huge. They'd used L's name. His real name. His first name. Or at least…his old one from his old life. Then…then…these people…

"Ok ok, I'll use the password: shinigami. Ok? Chillax dude! Shinigami! We're the _good_ guys!" Light's mouth fell open in total shock.

"Y…y…you're…you're with the secret services?" The Italian grinned from ear to ear. God his teeth were white.

"Bingo! Presto! Shebang! You have won the prize of life! We are indeed. You didn't think we'd leave you hanging did you? We knew you'd be storming Comp Inc once we found out what happened to L. Did you think we wouldn't have a plan in place? This is our job! We have nothing to do but sit around all day and think of disaster cinereous that you and L might get into! We've got so many plans you wouldn't believe! We even have a plan set up for incase L swallows a rubber ducky!" The man proceeded to make a quacking sound that Light wasn't sure he appreciated. He stared, his brown eyes huge with amazement.

"James…stop teasing him…he's been through a lot. Besides, you sound like an idiot." The Italian, named James, rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, anyway, Light. My name's James Tucker, and this is my partner Jackie Lee. Quite obviously, our names are covers for our protection and yours." Jackie sighed heavily from the front seat. Clearly, the cover names were something he never liked. James chuckled.

"Yeah…he hates Rush Hour." He gazed at Light with a pair of excited brown eyes. "Do you like Rush Hour Light? The movie? That's where our names are from." Jackie sighed again. "I'm named after Chris Tucker! Jackie here gets to be Jackie Chan." Light blinked. His normally brilliant mind was having trouble keeping up.

"I'm sorry…what are we…"

"Oh yeah! Sorry. You're probably wondering why the big black guy got an Asian dudes name and why the skinny white guy got the black dudes name. It's because Jackie here is way too serious to ever even joke about being Chris Tucker. Besides, Chris Tucker's too cool. I get to be Tucker. He can be all stuffy and serious all he wants as Jackie Chan." Light shook his head, he felt like his eyes were rolling around in his skull.

"No! I don't care about all of that! Tell me what's going on! What about Lawliet?"

"Ooooh. That. Ok. Uh…Jackie, would you do the honors?" Jackie, without ever taking his eyes from the road, began the explanation in his apparently natural, gruff, low voice.

"L has safely been transferred to our medical facility. He's stable and healthy. He should wake up within the hour. You, however, are being transferred to our crime department. We had one set up just for you two."

"We even have a jail!"

"Yes. We intercepted any calls that were sent to the local police and took the calls ourselves once we realized what was happening. We responded appropriately to appease the crowds, both in your home town, and here at Comp Inc. By all standards, we are real police men and we do real police work. Only our focus is on you two.

As it is now, you _must_ be arrested. If Sheryl presses charges, we will have to set up an entire fake court, with a fake judge and jury all comprised of our people. You'll be convicted guilty, of course, since you _did_ commit a crime. Only you will be held in _our_ prison. Clearly, you won't be put in the American police files, only ours. You'll be in no danger of execution or any other punishment that isn't fitting to assault and battery. Worst case scenario, you'll only be in jail for a year."

"A year! No! I can't-!"

"You shut your mouth Light Yagami! Do you have any idea how lucky you are? We cannot allow you to live your life any way you please. If you expect our protection, you must also abide by the regular rules of this country. We will not assist you in doing whatever felony's you desire! You'll do whatever sentence anyone else in your shoes would serve. But of course…you won't _die._ And most importantly, L who's done nothing wrong, won't be made to suffer for your mistake. Now isn't that fair?"

Light was quiet. It did indeed seem fair. Frightfully fair. He couldn't argue. He felt as if he were getting away with something as it was because he wouldn't be killed. L would be safe. That was what really mattered.

Besides…Light understood why this had to happen. It wasn't just because he'd broken a law and had done something stupid, it wasn't all about justice as Jackie pretended or hoped, it was also because if Light was allowed to roam free after doing something so serious…well…people would wonder why or how he wasn't thrown in jail. They would start to suspect something was amiss. After all…there were dozens of witnesses. Light had to at the very least…disappear for the time he was meant to spend in jail. And if he was forced to be away from Lawliet…then…he might as well spend that time in an actual jail cell. Besides…for such a huge mistake…he felt he deserved as much. If it weren't of the secret service…if it weren't for James and Jackie…L would have paid for Light's rage. And so…Light nodded.

"Yes…I…I understand."

"Good." James frowned as he looked back and fourth between the two. Finally, his gaze rested on Light.

"Hey, don't look so down. If Sheryl doesn't want to press charges, then you'll get to go scott free!" But this didn't cheer Light at all. There was no way Sheryl wouldn't press charges. He'd been brutal. He'd destroyed her face. Light knew there was no way. L…L would have to live all alone without him for whatever sentence he was served. Even if it was the secret services…the trial would be real. Sheryl would have to come after all. And there would be lawyers and a judge and…

Light sighed heavily. It wasn't worth thinking about. He was only depressing himself. He gazed out the window absently, briefly noting that they were heading further north. Was that where the base was situated?

…

It didn't really matter, because Light had just realized…L would be spending his birthday all alone…like all the years before.

Light kept his gaze fixated on the trees passing by. He paid no mind to the warmth that suddenly rolled down his cheeks.


	10. Apart

Author's Note: I apologize for the delay. I really don't have much of an excuse seeing as how I'm _still _unemployed. The job market sucks so much I can't seem to find much of anything, forget something actually in my field. The most I can give you is that I'm in a relationship, and my significant other spent about two weeks with me at the beginning of this month. And then after that, I spent a lot of time preparing for Valentine's day. (I'm still working on the finishing touches of my master plan. Bwahaha!) Anyway, here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy, and I hope to get my writing back on schedule soon.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

L awoke with a jerk.

"Raito!"

He stopped abruptly. Blinking rapidly, he found himself where he was supposed to be. In a bed, in a hospital room. That was strange…he'd felt like…he'd been somewhere else.

L looked himself over. He was covered in a cold sweat. He was pale. Or rather…more so than usual. _Am I shaking?_ He lifted his thin hands to take a look at his spindly fingers. He was indeed trembling. He tried to assess it.

_I…had a nightmare? _he wondered. That seemed right. There was a sense of foreboding hanging over him, around him. Like something terrible was going to happen…or had already. L had never had such feelings before. Before…if he felt a foreboding feeling, he knew exactly why. There was always a reason. He knew the very thing that was coming, the very thing he was fearful of. It was logical. Like…the time he had confessed his true name to Light. L knew then…how he would react. He knew very well…that Light might have killed him. He'd come close. L had reason to be afraid when walking into that room. But now…this time…this time it was different.

This time…it was a nameless fear that he didn't really understand. Could it really be blamed on a nightmare that he couldn't remember? It didn't seem so. It had felt so real. It still felt real. As if something were lurking in the rooms corners. Of course this was ridiculous. Nothing was in the room. It was brightly lit with florescent lights. The white floors and pastel blue walls were hiding nothing. And still…L felt watched.

It felt oppressive…dooming. As if a supernatural force were…

L's dark eyes widened then. He recognized this feeling. This was the feeling he had when working on the Kira case. As if Kira were everywhere, his red damning eyes on him at all times. Waiting…just waiting for him to slip up, reveal his name, a personal key into his true identity. Kira. L could feel his lust to spill blood at all hours of the day. He felt it…because Kira used to sit right beside him, dressed in a very pretty wrapper. Lurking beneath Light Yagami's concerned eyes…was the devil himself.

"Kira…" Even just saying the name caused his skin to crawl. L quickly wrapped his arms around himself to try and get rid of the chill. Why? Why was he dreaming about Kira now? Was his subconscious catching something he wasn't? L was aware of how distracted and absorbing his new life was. He didn't think the way he used to. He didn't obsess about every tiny little thing the way he used to. But he was also very aware of the fact that he hardly ever stopped thinking, even if his thoughts had become less analytical.

"Kira is dead." He wasn't quite sure why he had to say it, but it came out of his parted lips all the same. He needed to hear it said out loud. "Kira is dead…I killed him myself…" L assured his trembling, chilled body. "I gave Light the strength he needed…and…and Light banished him from his body and mind. Kira is no longer inside of him…it is only Light." And this L was sure of. There was no trace of Kira. And without Light as a host…a split personality certainly couldn't survive.

_This just has to do with Sheryl, _he deduced. _I was unsettled with her underhanded tactics. Her purposeful cruelty by using a cupcake as a way to kill me…her decision to use something I enjoy and love so much was something…something Kira would have done…_ Yes, surely that was it. L felt this was the truth. As such, he finally started to calm. His goose bumps went away and the chill with it. He slowly unwrapped his arms from around his thin form, letting his hands rest in his lap. Completely awake now, and not distracted from nightmares, he looked around at his surroundings.

Immediately he knew something was amiss. He wasn't in a real hospital. He knew as much because there was only one bed in the room: his. Hospitals almost always had two beds unless someone was in the ICU. And Lawliet knew his injuries hadn't been bad enough for that. Plus, the door did not look like a hospital door. It didn't have a window like most. Instead, it was painted white, and looked almost like a door you'd find in a house or apartment. It had four panels: beveled. Far too fancy for a hospital with little money.

And of course, the TV in his room being rather nice, and up on a TV stand instead of hanging from the ceiling was also a big tip-off. At first L started to feel frightened, but he immediately figured out where he was just after his first jolt of adrenalin. This had to be the secret base. His IV was real. All of the machines including the heart monitor were real and first class. They were brand new, and state of the art. No one would take care of him like this unless they were being paid good money too. Even regular hospitals could not afford such equipment.

L felt a little better after that. But not for long. After analyzing and settling his dream, after assessing his condition and where he was, the next biggest thing was the absence of a certain someone that should have been at his bedside. L looked around the room briefly. There was no chair set up by his bed. That meant Light hadn't even been able to come yet. Still, knowing Light wasn't there just wasn't enough. L looked to the closed door.

"Raito?" It was stupid really. Softly calling someone's name didn't make them appear. Children had been trying it since the dawn of mankind, beckoning to mothers when they had been lost. It hadn't worked then and it never would, for anyone. So L sighed heavily, turning away from the door. He almost immediately felt that usual bout of loneliness settle deep inside when he did so. He could think of little that was lonelier than waking up in a hospital bed all alone.

Never having been one to settle for something discomforting when he could easily change it, L found a phone on his nightstand. Beside it was also a call button. He debated only briefly, then decided to push the call button for the nurse first. She would know more about the situation and she'd also know if Light had come to visit, seeing as she had no one else to keep track of except L and his visitors. So, he reached out and pressed down the small red key. The speaker on the intercom hissed to life.

"Excuse me," L said.

"Ah, yes, L, you're awake." L froze for only a few seconds. Hearing someone call him 'L' instead of 'Lawliet' had a somewhat strange effect on him. He hadn't heard the name 'L' spoken out loud since he had been in Japan over a year ago. It somehow unsettled him. He had shed that skin. He no longer considered himself to be L.

"Please, call me Lawliet," he requested. The nurse was silent on the other end for a moment, clearly wondering why he would ask such a thing of her. But she was polite enough not to ask.

"Ok Lawliet," she said. "How are you feeling? Now that you're awake, I'll come and check over your vitals." The intercom hissed. L didn't bother to respond or try to ask his questions. She'd be in his room in only a few seconds anyway. And true enough, he only had to wait a short time before the handle on his door turned. The door swung inward and in walked a middle-aged woman of about thirty-five. She was wearing a light blue nurse's outfit and had her short brown hair bobbed back. Her eyes were pleasant and L found himself at ease in her presence. She smiled warmly.

"Hi, I'm Kara. I'll be taking care of you for most of your stay. There's only two other nurses on shift for you. Jamie will take care of you in the morning and Kirk will get you at night. But in the afternoon, I'm your woman!" She closed the door behind her and walked briskly and energetically over to L's bedside. L decided that he liked Kara. She had life about her, but radiated a feeling of calm instead of an energized buzz. He watched her as she picked up his chart which hung at the foot of his bed. She started marking his waking vitals and numbers on the graph, looking to his heart monitor and other machines for confirmation. L was silent for a few seconds as he watched her. But then decided, he'd much rather know where Light was than to learn more about this stranger.

"Miss Kara…"

"Oh, just plain old Kara, please."

"Yes…Kara, has Light been informed of my transfer?" She finished scribbling down her numbers, then turned and smiled at L brightly. Her eyes were genuinely cheerful.

"Yes. We called him from your cell phone to ensure a secure line while you were in the ambulance. But now that you're here, clearly all of our phones are safe and untraceable. You can use any of them if you like. But of course, you're not to get out of bed for a few more days." She put his chart back onto its peg, then moved to his side so they could see each other more clearly.

"I think a couple of our agents went to go get him. I'm sure he'll be here shortly." L nodded. But for some reason…the news didn't make him feel any better. He felt suddenly anxious, similar to how he had felt when he'd woken. As if…Light wouldn't be coming. As if…he'd be lonely for a long time.

Kara's smile faded when she noted L's expression. He didn't look happy. In fact, he seemed worried, or even a little ill.

"How're you feeling? Does anything hurt? You're on painkillers right now, but we can up the dosage if need be."

"No…thank you. I'm a little sore…but the pain is not bad." Kara's brow wrinkled in concern. Clearly she wasn't convinced. She was a nurse after all, and a damned good one, hence why she'd been handpicked to work at the secret service. She knew when something was wrong.

"Then…what's the matter? Something's bothering you." L shifted his gaze away from the window where he'd been looking. He rested his dark eyes on Kara's brown.

"It's silly…" he said softly. "I'm just used to Raito being here when I wake." Kara was silent as she absorbed this answer. She wasn't sure what to say, and the silence that over took the two had become heavy with awkwardness. That was…until the phone rang.

L jumped slightly from the loud noise. It had come from right beside his ear after all. He glanced to the offending object. It was the hospital phone right beside his bed. He glanced at the nurse. Kara nodded. Clearly the call was for L, or the caller would have called the front desk. And so, L reached out and plucked the phone from its receiver with his thumb and forefinger. He pulled it in to the side of his head and let it rest in the crook of his pale neck.

"Hello?"

"Lawliet, hey, it's me." Kara watched in utter shock as L's entire face lit up like the stars. She'd never had the pleasure of meeting L back when he'd been a detective, but being in the special services, she'd heard plenty of stories from people who had met the man. They had all described him as gloomy, stuffy, dead-panned, arrogant, OCD, and somewhat of a pill. And just a second ago, that description had fit. But suddenly, the entire thing had turned on a dime, and now L was an entirely different person. The transition was quite a shock to witness for someone who wasn't expecting it.

"Raito! Where are you? When are you coming?" The other end was quiet for an unsettling few seconds, and L immediately knew something was wrong. His vivid smile faltered, even without Light having to say a word. "Raito? What's the matter?" He was silent a second more. And then slowly,

"I…won't be able to come see you." L's heart gave off a small 'thump.' What did that mean?

"You mean…you can't come see me today? Something came up?" It was a wishful question. L knew perfectly well what it was Light had meant. He was only trying to fool himself, or perhaps…he was asking Light to lie to him.

"No Lawli…I…won't be able to come see you in the hospital for…your entire stay." L's heart gave off another 'thump,' only this one carried a sting to it that sent a wave through his body. Kara watched in dismay as L's face crumpled.

"Wh…what're you talking about? Raito? What's happening?"

"I…I…"L felt his throat start to swell as he heard his love's voice waver. Light was…starting to get choked up. L couldn't think of a single time when Light had been so emotional. Perhaps back in Japan, when things had been dire, when their lives were threatened. But since then…L had only seen him cry a very few and very select number of times. "I've really messed up Lawli. I…I messed up…" L felt his heart start to race. The heart monitor recorded every jumpy beat it gave. He felt himself break out into a sweat. He was getting scared.

"Raito! You tell me what's going on! Right now!" L demanded. L heard Light breathing on the other end. It hitched. L's fear increased.

"I…I was so angry. So angry…because of what she did to you. She hurt you…she tried to kill you…" L's heart monitor was beeping frantically now. Kara watched it carefully and with concerned eyes. She didn't like the physical effects this conversation was having on her charge. L feared the very worst. He knew quiet well…that Light was capable of killing.

"Raito," he said, his voice sharp. He didn't even need to give the command again. He heard Light take a deep breath on the other side.

"I…hurt Sheryl, Lawliet. I tried to kill her. I…I beat her. I beat her until my coworkers dragged me off of her…I…" but his explanation died in his choked voice. It drowned in the tears he shed, the tears that L could clearly hear over his end of the phone.

"The secret service…I have to go to jail." L's blood suddenly turned to ice. What was this? What did this mean? What was Light talking about? Jail? The secret service? Did that mean the secret service would be handling Light's sentence? But what did that entail? There were a million questions. But only one was important.

"Wh…when will I see you?" The question squeaked out of L's swelling throat, his voice small and fearful. He was terrified of Light's answer.

"I don't know…" Light said. "They said…they need to treat me like anyone else who would have committed the same crime. They're going to set up a trial with people from the service so that Sheryl doesn't know. I…if Sheryl presses charges…I'll have to plead guilty. There's no point in fighting it with so many witnesses. I…my sentence could be…"

"Anywhere between one and five years depending on the severity of…the…crime…" L finished for him. He found his entire body suddenly starting to tremble all over again. His free hand clutched the sheets around him. He gripped the white cloth with desperation. "Raito…" he choked, his eyes beginning to burn. "Tell them that she tried to kill me! They…they can easily prove it! They still have the cupcake as evidence! They can run DNA and…and…and match the batter to her kitchen! Or…or…use forensics to…find traces of the dumbcane in her house! T…tell them that you weren't thinking! Tell them how devastated you were at my poisoning! Throw yourself on the mercy of the court! A jury will understand! They'll lessen your sentence considerably, or you may even get off with only a fine for assault and battery if they prove she tried to kill me! It doesn't need to be an attempted murder charge!"

L hardly heard himself, but Kara saw everything quite clearly. It was heart-breaking. L's voice had risen to a hysterical pitch as he drowned his partner in advice. She watched as his huge dark eyes filled with tears. She could only witness it as the once proud detective curled up tight, and buried his head in his knees and against his free arm. He clutched the phone, his tears falling freely now.

"Lawli…" came Light's gentle tones.

"No!" L snapped, anger and spice coming through his evident agony. "I don't want to be alone! I never want to be alone again! I hate it! More than anything! It's the worst feeling in all the world! Feeling isolated…no matter who's around…" His sad voice wavered, his face hidden by his wild mess of black locks. Only the phone cord was visible from out beneath it.

"Lawli…I'm sorry. I'm _so _sorry. I never wanted to do this to you. I…wanted to…give you a great birthday, a great Halloween. And I…well…I just fucked it up. But…you won't be alone. You have friends now. Katie and Casey. And there's that Halloween party at town hall. Everyone would love you to come. And…you…you'll have a body guard now, twenty-four seven." L sniffled, wiping at his eyes in confusion.

"What?"

"The secret services…there's these two guys, cops…or…bodyguards. Or something. They…they said they're going to be with you, to protect you. James and Jackie. One of them will be with you at all times. To make sure Sheryl doesn't hurt you again. Or anyone else for that matter. So…you won't be alone. Someone will be with you at all times."

"I don't_ care!_" L screamed into the phone. "Don't you know me at all? Didn't I just tell you? It won't matter who I'm with or how many people are around me! I…I'm always lonely without _you!_ You…you're…you're the only one I…" L's sentence was cut short as his body choked out a pitiable sob. His shoulder shook. "I can't go without you for so long. Raito…Raito…I _love_ you."

The pair had never been the type to throw those words around lightly. They had never been the lovey-dovey, sugary-sweet couple people sometimes saw singing songs and rubbing noses with one another. Those words were only uttered when they were appropriate and necessary. In fact…Light couldn't remember the last time L told him he loved him, if he didn't count the times it was said during sex. That was why when L said those words…Light paid extra attention. The depth of those words and the feelings they conveyed went deeply. Light could hear how much L truly did love him, even from over the phone. There was no need to see L's face, or feel the warmth of his skin. It made his heart pound.

"I love you too Lawli…and we'll figure something out, ok?" L sniffled again from the other end. It was quiet for only a moment when…

"I'll come to jail too," he said. "If the secret service is taking care of us…then we'll be in the same jail together. I…I'll go rob a store!" Light couldn't tell if L was serious or not, which was frightening. L very well could have meant such a ridiculous thing in his panic.

"No Lawliet! That won't solve anything! If you're free you can come visit me. If you get thrown in jail, I very much doubt they'll put us together! We'll _never_ see each other if you do that! They might even put you in an entirely different building!" L was silent on the other end. All Light could hear was his shuddering breath and stifled sobs. God how it twisted his heart. How it tore at him. He had never, ever wanted to hurt L. Not in a hundred years had he ever meant to make him cry, make him feel alone.

"Lawliet…please…don't give up hope just yet. Like you said…if they prove Sheryl tried to kill you…I…I may just be let off the hook entirely. Ok? So…please…stop crying. You…you need to get better."

L wiped at his eyes, using the cusp of his white, long sleeves to take care of his face. He sniffled again, then slowly started to come back under control. He didn't want to worry Light further. So…he would stop crying for now as requested. Light had enough to deal with after all.

"Raito…" L whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I'll come see you…as soon as they let me out of here…" Light found a small smile warming his lips.

"I'd like that." L wiped at his nose with his sleeve, then carefully raised his head from his knees just enough so that his tired, red eyes became visible to his nurse.

"Call me…everyday?"

"Of course." He raised his head a little higher.

"Then…I'll see you soon. In a few days."

"Yes." L sat up in bed, his knees still curled, but his back as straight as it would get. He seemed to be calming a bit. Simply knowing he wasn't completely cut off from Light was enough for the moment. He was sure it would not sustain him very long, but for now…he would take what he could.

"Ok Lawliet…my phone call is up. I have to go. James will be there shortly to watch over you."

"Oh…James?"

"He's one of the bodyguards. Ok? He can give you more details too. He'll be involved in both the case and trial." L nodded numbly on the other end. There wasn't much else he could say. There was nothing he could do to prevent this. Light had dug himself a hole that L could not fill. Not with so many civilians involved.

"Ok Lawli…I'll talk to you later. I love you." L nodded dazedly once more, then listened as Light's end clicked and he was greeted with a dial tone. L sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging as he placed the phone back into its cradle. For a moment it was dreadfully quiet. L didn't move or speak and Kara was feeling too awkward to open her mouth either. But it was too stifling to sit and do nothing. So, the nurse slowly rose to her feet.

"I…uh…uh…heard you liked sweets! Do you want something from the cafeteria?" L slowly turned his head, resting his ink, black eyes on Kara. Kara found herself shocked yet again to find him as he was when she first entered: dead-panned, and practically lifeless. The difference between the L that was alone and the L that was with Light was astounding.

"…chocolate mousse…please…" Kara stared only a second more, than nodded vigorously.

"Of course! I'll get you something right away!" She quickly turned on her heel and ran for the door. L watched as the white, painted, wooden, door swung shut. He watched until it latched, the knob falling in place. Then he sighed heavily. Once alone, he shifted his gaze to the window where his dark black eyes focused on nothing. They shivered slightly in the way they always did when he started thinking about what it was he wanted and how he would attain it. For L was never the type to sit back and allow life to deal him a raw hand. When he desired something, he found a way of taking it. Even if against all odds. He'd done it once before in Japan, even going as far as to fake his own death and that of Light Yagami's. This time the case wasn't nearly so severe. He was sure a solution would be simple, and rather easy to accomplish once he was healthy. And so, there was no need to panic. He would not allow himself to be apart from his Light for very long.


	11. Unexplainable Knowledge

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the delay everyone. I'm about two chapters ahead of this one and I simply hit a block. I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want anyone to worry. But an epiphany hit me the other day in the shower (odd…how my best ideas hit me in the shower…or when I'm sleeping) and that block is gone baby, gone! I'm so excited about my sudden plans for this fan fiction and all of the plotting and crazy schemes I suddenly have for my villains and heroes that I'm certain I'll be writing a hell of a lot today instead of looking for a job like I probably should be. Hahahahaha! I'm really pumped! Anyway, I've already gotten another chapter done, so you guys can read this one! Yay!

And on another note, Momo Con is coming up in the Atlanta area. I don't know if any of you are going, but as last year, I'll be dressing up as L (again.) Only this year I happen to have myself a Raito-kun! I'm very _very_ excited about it this year, especially seeing as I have a surprise for my Raito-kun. I can't say much seeing as she might check-up on my new chapters, but I just wanted to brag to someone I guess. *Cackles wildly*

Anyway, enjoy!

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Sheryl was dreaming. At least, she had thought it was a dream. But it seemed so strange so…_real_ somehow. As if…these were more like memories than dreams. She found herself chained. A handcuff clasped tightly around her left wrist. And when she looked up and followed the chain…there was Lawliet at the other end of it. He looked different than the way she was used to seeing him. He was much paler; frightfully so, as if he were ill. His skin was sickly, as if he hadn't been outside in the sunlight for several long years. His eyes were dark. Deep, gruesome rings embedded his skin, causing weary wrinkles beneath his dark orbs. Clearly, he hadn't slept properly for however long he'd been trapped inside. And his usual hunch was much more prominent than it should have been. He seemed exhausted, as if he'd been pushed to the edge of his limit, yet at the same time…he radiated an air of power. He seemed dangerous. As if he were a half-starved wolf. His eyes certainly were sharp enough to belong to a starved wolf. His deep orbs burrowed into her, accusingly, savagely, as if he'd take a chunk of her flesh in his teeth if she did not answer him properly.

"Yoku, Raiot-kun." Sheryl blinked. What was that language he was speaking? And why were they handcuffed together?

_It's Japanese._ She thought quite clearly. _And I understand it. _It was true. She understood what Lawliet had just said clearly. He was waiting for her to answer. Only…he'd called her Raito-kun…which was Light's name in Japanese. _Light?_ She glanced at herself and let out a small gasp. She was not herself in this dream. Rather…she was in Light Yagami's body. Or perhaps…was this a memory of his? Had he met Lawliet in Japan, his home country? Sheryl had not known that before, but now, suddenly she was certain.

_Yes. He met Lawliet in Japan. And he met him at a strange time. They're handcuffed together because…Light is…a suspect. A suspect in a case of some sort…_It was very strange indeed. Sheryl had no idea how she knew these things. She had no idea why she would think of such things. Light Yagami…a suspect in a crime? But he was so perfect. Perfect in every way. No…surely…there was no way he could be a suspect.

_Not a suspect, a prime suspect, _her inner voice corrected her. A prime suspect? For what?

_For the Kira case of course. _Sheryl let out another gasp. The Kira case? That was absurd. That meant that Light Yagami had been Kira. Or at least one of the many people suspected of being so. And Lawliet…how was he involved? What did that make him?

_He's clearly the lead investigator, a detective. He is in fact the detective. L._

Sheryl felt her heart start to race. What was this? Why did she know these things, have these memories? It was crazy. Light as Kira? Lawliet as L? Surely this was just a dream. Just a dream…

"Raito-kun." The voice came coldly. It was a demand. She looked back up to meet Lawliet's eyes…no…L's eyes. Sheryl had never seen Lawliet like this. This man before her…was cold, harsh, and not much of a human being at all. He seemed more like a walking dead man, or even a machine. No…as much as Sheryl hated Lawliet, even she had to admit that this was not him. This man…

"Raito-kun! Koutou!" L lashed out, snaring a hold of Light's wrists. His grip was like ice, his thing, bony, fingers a vice. His dark eyes were harsh and unforgiving. Sheryl felt fear looking at this man, when before…when she gazed at Lawliet…she had felt as if he were a soft man, a gentle man, someone who she could take advantage of because he possessed what was hers. But this man…L…she'd never dream of ever crossing him.

She felt her throat close up tight. She couldn't answer. She was afraid. Why was she having such a terrible dream?

_Help!_ she thought frantically. _Someone help me! Anyone! Light! Light! Come save me!_

"Sheryl! Hey! Sheryl! Wake up!" Suddenly, she was jostled awake. Immediately a stab of pain pierced her skull.

"Ugh!" She let out a weak, crumpled cry. Instantly the person shaking her stopped.

"Oh God! Are you ok? I didn't mean to hurt you! You just weren't waking up, so…" The pain was throbbing in her skull. It felt like a migraine. She'd suffered plenty enough before to know what one was, and how bad it could really be. But this was not a migraine. She knew perfectly well why she was in pain. And when she slowly and carefully opened her eyes, her suspicions were confirmed.

She found herself staring at a ceiling; a plain white ceiling with a florescent light just above her. Yes…she was in the hospital. And Light had put her here.

Sheryl let out another small groan as she remembered it all. His face; he'd been so very angry. No…more than angry, he'd been completely mad with rage and grief. Sheryl knew she'd made a mistake. She had underestimated him. She never would have dreamed that her dream prince, her Light Yagami would become so violent, so barbaric for his precious Lawliet. But then again…at the time, she hadn't known that he was capable of such things. Now she did. She knew better now. Now she understood…Light had been Kira.

_Wait, that's absurd!_ she thought. _It was some stupid dream. A crazy stupid dream! Light wasn't Kira, and Lawliet certainly couldn't have been L. Both of them are way too nice, way to caring and…and…normal! Well, Lawliet is a little weird…but there's no way he could've been L. Right? And Light would never kill thousands of people…_

But of course, she wasn't so sure about this thought anymore. The look that had been on his face…his eyes…they'd been filled with tears, yes…but the fire behind them had been terrifying. Sheryl hadn't even been able to move, breathe, or even cry for help when pierced with that deadly gaze. Light, Sheryl was sure, would have killed her if he hadn't been stopped. Feeling despaired and full of gloom, she closed her eyes to block out that florescent light once more. This seemed to cause the person who'd woken her to become concerned once again.

"Sherly? Um…uh…the doctor said you'd be ok. Uh…you have a concussion…but they fixed it and um…well…you're face took the worst of it, but they said plastic surgery can fix it." The girl's voice sounded familiar. She also sounded nervous and out of place. Out of pure curiosity, Sheryl cracked open her eyes and dared to turn her head. The throbbing ache returned from the slight movement…but it wasn't as bad as before. Sheryl felt a jolt of surprise when she saw one of the AE's from the office.

"Tracy?" She wrinkled her large blue eyes with confusion. The two had never been particularly close. For Tracy to have stayed in the hospital for so long, wait through Sheryl's surgery, and then wait at her bedside…

"Yeah…hi!" The girl waved timidly. She seemed embarrassed about having done as much as she did.

"Uh…I heard…you didn't have any living relatives. I just thought…um…that it'd really be horrible to have no one be with you in the hospital. That and um…I always looked up to you in the office. You're one of the best AE's we have, ya known?" The young girl blushed. Sheryl blinked. That was right, Tracy was an intern. She was only nineteen or so.

Sheryl found a small curl come to her lips, despite their split condition. There was a brief stab of pain as she felt her bottom lip open back up. Still…Tracy's gesture was cute.

"Thanks Tracy." Sheryl's simple 'thanks' seemed to have made the poor girls day. She positively glowed.

"Oh! No problem! I'm really glad to have helped!" After her gush, the room fell quiet for a short time. But Tracy seemed as if she were itching to ask something. She fidgeted and wrung her hands together.

"So…uh…what are you going to do?" Sheryl blinked.

"Huh?"

"W…well…Light…hurt you so bad. I mean…you're face is all bandaged up. Haven't you noticed?" Sheryl in fact hadn't. She'd so much going on inside her mind: that strange dream, and her odd new knowledge which she denied to even be knowledge, had distracted her. That and the fact that she was on massive painkillers which had numbed most of her feeling. But now that Tracy had pointed such an obvious thing out, it was evident.

Sheryl lifted her hands to her face. Indeed, there were white bandages covering everything. They were thick, and wrapped on tightly. Slowly, her eyes started to widen.

"My…my face!"

"Yeah…but like I said earlier…they said a plastic surgeon can fix most of it." A surgeon? Had it been that bad? _Of course it was you idiot!_ Sheryl frowned. Yes. It had been. The vision of Light's fist coming down over and over.

Sheryl shook her head to try and clear the horrible memory, and in the process caused her pain to spike once again. She let out another cry.

"Sheryl!" She turned away from Tracy and squeezed her eyes shut. The pain was great. And not just the physical pain. Light had hurt her. And that was painful enough in itself without knowing that her face was ruined. Plastic surgery or not…Sheryl was not a fool. Her face would never be exactly the same again. Her beauty had been ruined. And like Light…she was very vain. She started to cry.

"O…oh! Oh, don't cry! We…we can fix it! They said a plastic surgeon can fix it, a…and we…you…you should defiantly send Light to jail! He's a horrible man! He…he's a monster!"

"No!" Sheryl had cried it out so loud and so suddenly that poor Tracy jumped back in alarm. Sherly almost immediately stopped crying after her shout, and she turned abruptly to face Tracy. She sat up, which was probably a huge 'no-no' considering her concussion, but she managed it as if she were a gladiator. Her fiery blue eyes focused on Tracy as her bandaged face set itself into a serious glare.

"I love Light," she said suddenly. Tracy stared, her brown eyes growing large with confusion, disbelief and concern.

"Light? Light Yagami? The man who did this to you?"

"Yes. I love him. He was just upset because of what happened to his lover. It wasn't really his fault. He…he's so passionate. It's one of the many reasons he's so wonderful. I could never…ever put him in a place where I'd never see him again. If I let him go…he'll owe me a huge favor. Imagine what I could do with such a favor."

Tracy's doe eyes grew to the size of saucers. Clearly, the things Sheryl was saying, were not normal. More than that, even with the excuse of drugs, she sounded crazed. The pain killers weren't enough for this type of attitude toward a man who'd tried to kill her.

"Oh…ok," Tracy said carefully. She smiled politely, nervously, a drastically different smile from the gushing one she'd had on only a few moments before. "Well…uh…I guess you're awake and ok now. So…uh…I guess you don't really need me anymore a…and I have lots of things to do since I've been here so long! Ok? Ok? All right then, bye-bye!" Tracy hightailed it to the door of the hospital room and within a heartbeat she was gone.

Sheryl lay in her bed, a satisfied smirk on her face. Yes. This was all fine. It was all according to plan. It was ok that she'd gotten hurt. It simply put her in a better position to bargain. Light couldn't avoid her now. Not now that he'd hurt her so badly. Not now that she'd be letting him go free. No. He would owe her. Big time. They'd be forced together for at least one get together, possibly two. And once they were together, she'd tell him how much she loved him once more. Surely he'd understand this time. Surely this time he'd accept her.

But before that…she had to have the plastic surgery. And she'd have to recover. She'd have to be presentable. There was no need to rush. Besides…she had a little bit of research to do once she was out. Sheryl defiantly wanted to know if these dreams she was having, if these…thoughts…were true. If they were, there was no way to track it down on the internet or with a paper trail. No…she'd have to figure it out some other way. The best way would be to test a theory or two.

Sheryl's smirk grew even larger, until it took over her face like a disease. Even her massive amounts of bandages couldn't hold such a monstrous grin in place. _This might actually be a little fun._


	12. Optimist

L felt like a child. There were numerous reasons justifying his feeling such a way. He felt like a child because he was injured and rendered useless in a fake hospital which was set up specifically to protect him and his identity. He felt like a child because there was nothing he could do about Light's incarceration when he was in such a position. He felt like a child because there was even more protection being sent his way. It was bad enough that he'd been so careless, so absentminded as to fall for something like a poisoned cupcake, but to be sent a baby-sitter like James was downright humiliating. Jackie, James's partner, apparently was staying at the fake jail to guard L's very real lover. And it seemed that the secret service thought that one body guard would be enough for L, at least while he was stuck in the hospital.

But there was even more to it than that. Feelings of helplessness, falling for an obvious trap, and being sent a body-guard weren't nearly the end of it. L was also feeling like a child because he had always been a bit childish, especially when it came to losing. And he sure as hell felt like a loser at that moment. And because he felt like a loser, he also felt ornery, angry, annoyed, and ill-tempered. And that made him feel very much like throwing a temper tantrum.

He blamed that last feeling of wanting to throw himself on the floor like a toddler on Quil's upbringing. Surely it was the older man's fault for having raised him the way he did. He had constantly given L anything he demanded after all. At least when it came to sweets. There was little discipline. L hardly needed it. Quil had never said 'no' to most things. And it hadn't been hard to get L to work the way the superior's wanted him too. L had nothing else at the time. He'd done it all very willingly…up until the end. And back then…what L wanted…L got. If Quil hadn't the power to give him something, L certainly had the power to take it himself; whatever said thing would have been. And as such, L was already thinking in that mentality. L wanted his Raito-kun back, and he was going to get what he desired or there would be hell.

And so, when James came in, all smiles and pleasantries, it would have been of little surprise to someone who knew L to see that L was _not_ in the mood. He was already starting to scheme and plot. And at the same time, he was also brooding. He loathed James's cheerful attitude and seeming excitement at finally meeting the infamous detective L. L grew even more agitated when the man drew near without taking the hint. L tried to block out his annoying voice, but it was hardly working. The man talked fast and he talked loud.

Already in a horrid mood, L's temper grew very thin, very fast. And so, when James reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, L gave in to his childish emotions. He cruelly slapped the hand away and whirled around in his bed to send a look of stone the joyful man's way.

"I am _not_ interested in what you thought of me! I am _not_ interested in signing an autograph! And I am _busy_ figuring out how to get Raito out of jail!"

James stopped. Or froze was more like it. The hand that had been slapped away stayed up in the air as if it were now made of stone. The Italian's bright brown eyes remained large as he gaped down at the man he'd been sent to protect.

_So this is L, _he thought. L certainly matched the description said of him in the file that all secret service personnel were required to read. The wild black hair and almost frightening black eyes matched. But James had expected something different. By the way Light spoke about L, and by the way everyone made such a fuss about him, James had honestly expected someone nicer.

Ok, maybe he'd come into the room rattling off at fifty words a second. Maybe he'd been a little excited to see the famous L. Maybe he _did _ask for an autograph at what was most likely the worst possible time in L's day…but still; L was Light's world. Or so James gathered from his short time with the ex-serial killer. So James had expected L to be a little different.

Or maybe Light liked his boys rough and wild.

…

James quickly changed his line of thought to the more appropriate (and correct) one which was that L was simply very distraught at the moment and that James had made a poor introduction.

He slowly lowered his hand, then he cleared his throat to try again. _Tone it down Tucker, _he reminded himself. He tried to squelch his excitement about guarding the once most important man in all the world, and instead focus on keeping his voice steady. He didn't want to shoot his words like bullets as he had done when he'd come in.

"Sorry L, I'm a bit excitable, or so my partner tells me." He smiled. But the charm clearly wasn't reaching L's frigid expression.

"I would use the word volatile."

_Ouch!_ James thought.

"Ok!" He said in his usual cheerful way. This seemed to make L's face even harder still. L looked almost as if he were about to start snarling. James once again tried to cool himself down.

"So! Anyway! I'm your bodyguard for a little while. Jackie and I will be switching out from time to time. You know, shifts and stuff."

"He'll come watch me at night I assume."

"Yeah! Hey, you're good!" L actually rolled his eyes. Rolled them. Like a teenager. James felt himself starting to tense. The guy was unapproachable and testy.

"Anyway, I guess you've been having a rough day. I'd be upset about stuff too. I mean, you were almost killed and all. But…I guess you might be used to that. Hahaha!"

The look L gave poor James could have frozen the fires of the sun. James winced inside.

"Whoa!" James actually cried out. He actually took a small step back. "Uhh…oh…uhh…anyway…I…uhh…was trying to tell you that…when Jackie gets here, he could probably tell you news about your boyfriend. Seeing as he's watching over him right now and all." L sighed heavily, dramatically, his shoulders sagging as he leaned back in his bed against his single white pillow.

"I hate that term…"

"Wha? Huh? What term?"

"Boyfriend," he replied simply. "It sounds so…"

"High school?" James offered. L rolled his head to the side so he could scathe James with yet another look of scorn. James winced a second time. There was no pleasing this guy.

"Uh…uh…so L…"

"Lawliet."

"Huh?"

"Lawliet. My name. It's Lawliet now. I'm not L. I've outgrown…L…" James stopped talking then and actually tried to take another look at L. He'd turned away and now his dark gaze was focused out his half-open window. Underneath that frightening exterior, and without his piercing gaze on him, it was quite easy to see that the man was depressed. He wasn't so much angry as he was sad. And James knew exactly why. It wasn't difficult to figure out. He was sure everyone in the secret service would know how much these two loved one another. _If they'd read the files they were supposed to that is. After all…that whole story about how they'd escaped Japan just to be together and then that horrible man…what was his name…that famous guy…uhh…the Burner from Australia, yeah, Webber! How Light saved L…and that was how the secret service was made after all. Those three agents were the first in our ranks. _

And so, suddenly, L wasn't all that scary anymore. No. Instead it was very easy to see that he was just another human being. One that had risked everything, even his own life on many occasions just to gain the one thing that he thought had worth. And now that one thing…that one thing he treasured so much as to suffer so greatly and risk so much…had been taken away from him.

James couldn't say he completely understood. James liked a lot of things. He was an optimistic person who found worth in almost everything every day. James was the type to be thankful for the sun rising in the morning. He was able to appreciate the things that many others took for granted. The fact that he had a roof over his head and money to buy food with were things others sometimes thought of when they were feeling thankful, but James took it to a new level. There were times when he appreciated the very air he breathed. To him, everything was a gift. Nothing was to be taken for granted, wasted, or forgotten.

This was not to say he hadn't suffered in his life-time. He most certainly had, perhaps more so than most. But it never kept him down. There were so many things after all, to live for. He'd never had just one thing…one worthy thing in his life. But he still understood the pain of losing someone. And unlike L, James was good with people, emotions and compassion. And so, he took a step closer to the bed.

"Hey," he said suddenly. He waited until L turned his head to gaze at him…but oddly, L never did. It was only one of the many odd things James would find out about him later on. He decided to continue anyway, knowing L heard him. "Light won't be in jail for very long. It's ok."

It was then that L turned to gaze at his new bodyguard, a look of both confusion and surprise on his face.

"It's…ok?" he asked as if the words were foreign to him. As if no one had ever spoken them to him before in his life-time…except perhaps for his beloved Light. James knew he'd finally gotten to him. He smiled.

"Yeah! It's ok. Because you see, this Sheryl chick tried to kill you, right? We have the cupcake. We took it from the hospital before we transferred you here. I'm sure we can prove that she did all of this. Light could get off on a very lenient charge since you were hurt. Or, they might let him go entirely. This is our people we're talking about. They'll take care of you guys. After all, that's what Quil's paying us for! See?"

L stared at James, his expression blank and unreadable. James felt himself start to grow nervous all over again, but then, slowly, L nodded. He seemed…a tad less gloomy than before.

"Yes, I've already thought of that. That is one of the many possible outcomes."

"Y…yeah! And Light might not even have to go to jail at all. This Sheryl person, if she's as obsessive as Light says she is about him, she might not even press charges." But at this, James got the opposite result of what he wanted. L frowned. Deeply. And this time, he actually appeared worried more than anything else.

"That's what I'm afraid of…" James blinked, clearly confused.

"Huh? I don't get it. You don't want Light to go to jail, do you? So then…why…"

"Because…the only reason for Sheryl not to press charges is because she not only wants to see Light again…but thinks she can get what she wants out of him. If Sheryl doesn't press charges, it means she has some sort of plan in mind. It means she's going to try again. It means she's going to continue to come after us. And I sadly do not know enough about her, or her situation to deduce by what means she would go about her goals…or even what her goals are anymore.

Her original goal was clear: to seduce and steal Light away from me. But I'm certain her goals have changed. She must realize by now that Light will not…cannot be seduced. She knows he will never leave me. And so…any new goal she has now…would be…disastrous. She's become much more dangerous to us. And I failed to realize this in time." L sounded grave, distraught, and anxious. James could see the tension in his shoulders and neck. He lay stiffly in bed. James wondered briefly…if he had always been so intense.

"Hey…don't beat yourself up. How were you supposed to predict that she'd do something so crazy? How were you supposed to-!"

"How?" L suddenly shouted. He sat up abruptly, causing his heart monitor to jump and then speed up from his sudden surge of emotion. "I'm supposed to be the most intelligent man on this planet! I've cracked cases no one else was able to solve in years by drifting in and out of sleep! I've solved the greatest mysteries of this earth, only to let different countries governments cover them up again! I was responsible for the BB murder cases, the Australian Burner, Kira! If I could do all of that, then why the hell shouldn't I be able to tell you when someone I've actually met and profiled would strike?"

James stared, his brown eyes wide once again. L was such…an intense person. He wondered if he was always. Something told him he wasn't. Still, James was good with people, and even with those he just met, he could see underneath their actions to the reasons behind them. And L's reasons were still the same. Only this time, he revealed the guilt behind his fear of having his lover taken away. James remained calm, unnervingly so in the face of such a powerful man.

"Maybe," he said. "But you can't change any of that now. Now all we can do is hope for the best. Everything will be fine, like I said before. Jackie will come with news of Light, probably a message too. And when you're better, I can take you to go see him. If Sheryl causes a problem, the secret service will take care of her. We were created for this very purpose: to protect you and Light since the American police can't be involved. If she makes a fuss, or causes any more trouble…she'll be swept under the rug. We'll make her disappear. We have the power to do such a thing, as I'm sure you already know. So…there's no need to worry about anything. Light will be released soon. You will get better. Sheryl will be dealt with. Then, you can go to this Halloween party Light keeps telling me about. Ok?"

L sat in his bed, crouched forward, still mostly in his original position of anger. But he was quickly cooling off. He'd never really met anyone so positive before…well…except Matsuda. He wasn't exactly sure what to do. A part of him wanted to argue and spit like a snake. But…the problem here was that most of what James was saying was true. He was right. And even if he wasn't, L understood that with a man this positive…there was no arguing. L would only waste energy and breath. It would be better to think on his own without saying anything about it again.

He sat back in his bed, resting his curved spine against his pillow. He wanted to pout, continue to brood, to be a child as he felt. But…for some reason…he found himself feeling better. His spirits had been uplifted. And because he hadn't really wanted this, or planned for this, it annoyed him. He glowered anyway, just to prove to James that he hadn't won…even though in fact he had.


	13. To Love Someone

Author's Note: I really probably should have made this part of the last chapter, because it's so short. But I'd already posted the other one so…oh well! Besides, it's a bit of a defining moment, so it deserves its own title.

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L was released from the hospital in two days time. With all the poison out of his system and his body able to recover on its own, the secret service thought it best if L recovered in the comfort of his home. And so, James helped L into one of the many unmarked company cars that the service had, and drove him back to town.

But once L was home, he didn't seem to improve; quite the contrary really. James expected him to still be weak from his ordeal, but he hadn't really expected him to act like a grieving widow. The once ingenious detective shut himself up in his room. And when he wasn't shut up in his room, he was eating things he wasn't supposed to be eating in the kitchen. And when James wasn't taking food away from him in the kitchen, he was trying to get L to at least sit up from his slumped, slightly curled position on the couch. After only a short few hours of dealing with L's gloomy mood, James had quite enough. Even he lost sight of his cheer every now and then. There were times when being optimistic just didn't change a person.

"Give me a fucking break!" he snapped. "I'm supposed to be your body guard, not your baby sitter!" L didn't even bother to respond. James growled in frustration. "Honestly, I never expected a full grown man, especially _you_, L, to act like such a baby." James started to walk away then, toward the kitchen to clean up the last mess L made, and also to cool off a bit, when L actually spoke.

"Have you ever been in love ?" James stopped. For a moment, he debated whether he wanted to bother responding. He was so fed up with L at that point, and it'd only been a few hours since he'd gotten home from the hospital. But…that human side of him, which was always so strong, begged him to turn. So he did. He looked to the half curled form on the couch. The man's face was invisible as it hid underneath his thick of black hair.

"I think I've been in love once or twice. But it didn't last," he answered honestly.

"Then you have never been in love."

"Hey! Now wait just a minute! You can't just-!"

"If you can say 'once or twice' then you have never been in love. There is only one. You may love other people, your mother, your father, friends…but the love I'm talking about happens only once. You may have loved your ex-girlfriends, but not in the way I'm trying to explain to you. Because if you truly did love one of them, then you would have said 'yes, once.' And that one girl would have been the staple for all of your judgments on other girls. And if you truly loved that girl, you would not be apart from her for the entire world, unless she had passed away…"

James wasn't entirely sure, but he thought L was trying to explain his recent attitude to him. He took a few steps forward, closing the distance between himself and the couch. L still didn't move or lift his head to meet James's eyes. He lay as he was.

"I am in love with Raito," he said simply. "If you have not experienced it, then at least try to understand. You've read my file…so you are aware of some of the things we've been through together. You are aware of some of the things I've been through alone. I loved him enough to be moved away from the one and only thing I had in life. The only thing I cherished, the only good I could do, the only purpose I had. Do not think I threw away my position so frivolously. I loved being a detective. It was my job, my human duty to make things right. To fix the things society could not without the help of someone who could provide them with solid, unarguable evidence. Facts that could not be skewed or changed, DNA to prove that this, this indeed was the correct criminal to persecute." L curled his pale fingers around the couch pillow he was resting on.

"I wanted to fix the world. Quil gave me the means to do so. He provided me with the training, the finances, the locations..." His voice trailed off faintly as James listened to his tones falter. "It wasn't perfect. I knew it couldn't be when I started. I made sacrifices. I did not have the things others did. I did not go to school. I did not make friends. I had no family other than Quil. And a lot of the time…Quil was not enough. He did his best. He provided what he could but…the fact remained that I was a child…in an adult world. And I was the one expected to be responsible above all others. I was able to do so…but it did not come easily. There were times…many times…when I longed to simply be…a child. To simply be myself. But if I were to achieve my goals, then these desires were impossible. And so…I did what I had to with such feelings, I locked them away so I could work."

James listened with a grim face. He had indeed read the file. But L's file, said almost nothing about all of this. A file could not give the point of view of the person it was about. Hearing these things from L, straight from his own mouth…was vastly different.

"Never in my wildest dreams…did I ever think someone could break into my solid world I had built for myself. Never did I think it were possible for someone to reach into my fortress and shake me, to reach in and touch my frozen heart. He destroyed everything I'd made. I…hated him for it at first. I'd never hated anyone so much in all my life. I hated him more than the criminals I chased, because he…he made me admit that I was human. He made me see that I had the same things everyone else in the world had, he made me see my own desires and my own anguish. And once that happened…I could not stop it…"

L's voice weakened and wavered simply at the memory. The words passing through his lips had a power; a power that shook the once unshakable man. James watched in utter amazement at what L was confessing to him, and the very raw, and very real energy it was creating in the small man. No one could fake this. L's very body seemed gripped by the unyielding power of his heart.

"Raito killed L, but…he saved Lawliet. And the miraculous thing about it is…he hadn't even meant to." L finally, finally moved. And slowly, he sat upright. Pushing himself up with his thin arms, he turned and fixated his dark gaze on James.

"I would not be fool enough to say that I could not survive without him…but the point is…I sure as hell wouldn't want to." James remained motionless. After L's explanation, he truly believed that he hadn't ever really loved someone. James had never felt a dedication like that. And it made him a little jealous. What would that be like? He wondered. What would it be like to love someone so deeply, so desperately as to throw away an entire life? A life that L had built since he was six or seven years old? A love so strong that it practically crippled a once unmovable man, just by separating him from the one he desired. James's soft brown eyes focused on L, and took him in anew all over again.

"So please," L said "excuse me if I mope around for just a short while. I will not do it for days. But on this first day, I would like very much to indulge myself to my feelings. I've never had the privilege to do so before." James nodded a bit numbly. What else could he possibly say or do after all of that? It was so…real.

"Ok," James said quietly. "I'll uhh…go make you some pudding." It was all he could think of to do. After all, L's throat was still healing. He could really only eat soft foods. So, James would contribute the best way he knew how, at least until Jackie took over that evening.


	14. Deranged

Author's Note: Oh my God! Momocon's this weekend! I can't _wait!_ I'm so excited! Waah! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter.

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Sheryl really had no idea what she was doing. It was as if her inner voice were telling her what to do every step of the way. She had to do this. It wasn't a want, or a desire, it was a necessity. It was a need.

Still, it seemed crazy. She'd just had her plastic surgery yesterday. The doctors and nurses had told her she'd need several months of recovery time. Her face was still bandaged. But because of everything that had happened…she knew that she could not stay in the hospital. The police would be after her. They would want to investigate what had happened to Lawliet. They probably had the cupcake. It was only a matter of time before she was proven to have been the one behind his attempted murder. It wasn't such a big loss as it was. She wouldn't be able to persecute Light and put him in jail, but that was fine…she had never wanted too. As she had told Tracy at the hospital, she loved him and wanted him to be free. Never mind what he'd done to her. Besides…it had been worth it to know that Lawliet had suffered. And even if she was caught and thrown in jail, she would never _really_ be caught.

Even Sheryl herself didn't know what she quite meant by that, but her face twisted into a wicked grin all the same…until she felt the stab of pain said grin caused. She let out a sharp yelp. Her face…was throbbing. It stung and burned. It felt swollen. She was glad that she had bandages covering her up. She was sure…she wouldn't want to see for some time. Judging by the pain…she was probably hideous beneath them.

True, she was on pain killers right now, but they were not, by any means, the strongest. As she had been escaping from the hospital, she had made sure to swipe a few bottles of meds before she'd left. The station hadn't been properly watched. There was someone there for the night shift, of course, but he had gotten up to use the bathroom and had left the lock undone. Fool. All people were fools. Except for her Light Yagami. He most certainly wasn't a fool…he was perfect.

Sheryl sighed dreamily as she wobbled down the freezing road. She was very happy that the cold air of a late October night was numbed by her medication. Otherwise, she was sure she'd be shivering uncontrollably. Any normal person would in thirty degree weather. Especially if that normal person were wearing what she was. She was in a paper-thin hospital gown. Light blue in color. And it had little diamond shapes on it.

Sheryl giggled at this discovery. The drugs sure were making her loopy. Enough so that she was only faintly aware of the fact that her bare feet, placed repeatedly on top of frigid pavement, were even cold. She mused briefly about the fact that Lawliet walked almost everywhere barefoot.

"Nooo…he wears sandals!" she crooned. She let out a second giggle. What a fool that Lawliet was. Wearing sandals everywhere. But of course…she knew why he did so. The poor bastard's feet were as smooth as plastic. The Burner had ironed every last pore and wrinkle out of them as if Lawliet's feet were a collared shirt.

Sheryl had just started to laugh from the amusement of such a mental image when the pain in her face bit her back.

"Laughing hurts…" she complained to the freezing air around her. She stumbled then, faltered, almost fell, but then reached out and managed to grab onto a mailbox. For a few seconds she simply hung there, blinking at the black, curved box she was holding onto. Carefully, she pulled herself back up. Then she read the weaving name on the plate.

"M…Mc…McDouglas. That's who lives here." Standing up straight, she released the McDouglas's mailbox, patting it softly as if it were a dog or cat. Then, glancing around, she finally seemed to realize that she was in a residential district. It was a small, cute little suburban neighborhood; almost postcard worthy. The clear, night, sky above was glittered with thousands of gleaming stars. Because of the cold, crisp, fall air, the sky was perfectly crystal. A half-moon illuminated the perfect lawns around her. They weren't green anymore, but browning, the grass dying from frequent frosts and the biting cold. The flowerbeds were abandoned for the upcoming winter, and bird feeders hung empty.

Still, despite these lonely signs, the neighborhood was far from a ghost town. Colorful leaves had been raked into piles for collection. Some were bagged and placed by the side of the road. Others had been left out for neighborhood children to play in. Shiny cars displayed proudly that they were only a few years old, most probably ready to be traded in for a newer model at the end of their lease life. The neighborhood made it clear that it was alive and well during the day, full of friendly life. But tonight, at three a.m. in the morning, nothing moved.

No children were scampering about. All of the mail and newspapers had been brought in. Ice had formed in small puddles next to the hoses where parents proudly tried to get in a last car wash before it became too cold. And all of it seemed frozen in time by the power of the half-moon. Everything was bathed in the dim silver glow as if a picture had been taken.

Sheryl was sure she was lucky that there was no wind. It was cold enough in her gown, with no undergarments. Even with the medication she could feel the draft, wafting up from beneath her. If anyone were out to witness it, they would easily spot Sheryl's nice round, perfect rump peeking out from back. That is…if they were able to get past the bandages on her face, or the fact that she was stumbling almost drunkenly around their perfect neighborhood in thirty degree weather. Sheryl knew she must have looked like a total loon, but she didn't care. She had a mission to complete, and it would be done.

Sheryl knew she would be ok, despite the nuttiness of everything she was currently doing. That voice inside of her…the one that had guided her this far, would continue to take care of her. She knew it would. She hadn't been wrong so far, and she would continue to get what she wanted. In the end…she knew she would have Light Yagami. He would be hers again. She just had to prevail.

And as such, she set her eyes out for her first goal. All she needed was a car; a car that she could use to escape in. The plan was almost perfect, at least for the short term. She would steal a car and drive far away to the secret cabin her parents had left her, up in the mountains. No one knew about that cabin but her. It wasn't even left in their will. As far as she knew, there was no paper trail. Before her parent's had died, they'd brought it with cash. They'd been filthy rich after all. And they wanted a place where the paparazzi couldn't find them. It had been successful to a degree, and Sheryl was sure she'd be safe there now.

The only risk…was Lawliet. If that bastard set his sights on her…she was sure he'd manage to find her if he really wanted too. He certainly was talented enough, and he was a pain enough. But she was hoping that he would soon be distracted. After all…now that she'd escaped from the hospital, there would be no one to press charges against Light. Within a few days, Light would be freed. L would be so absorbed in his lover that he wouldn't care about dear, little, Sheryl. He would be too preoccupied in his perfect happy little nest he'd built for himself, Light as his golden egg. L Lawliet; Sheryl knew that he was done playing detective; all he wanted to do now was play house. The dear, sweet, little house wife finally had all his heart desired. And with his precious play husband back in the picture, he wouldn't care enough to seek her out. And even if he did both L and Light would have other things to worry about once she set her plan in motion.

Managing the pain in her face by moving it as little as possible, she set her eyes out for a car she could use. She knew what to look for. The voice in her head told her what type of car she could hotwire.

Sheryl had never hotwired a car before. She was sure she didn't know how until recently. She'd never taken a class, she'd never had instruction or looked anything up online, but at this moment in her life…she knew she'd be able to. The voice in her head told her so. And she knew it was because of her love for Light.

_It's because Light knows how to hotwire a car,_ she thought suddenly. _I know everything Light knows._ Sheryl knew this was the truth. She knew so in her heart. And she knew she wasn't making it up, or that she was crazy. No. it was real. And it filled her with joy. She'd never felt so connected to the man she loved before. She knew everything about him now: his childhood, his past, how long he'd been in Japan. She knew that he had a little sister named Sayu. She knew his father was a police chief. And she knew for dead certain after that first strange dream…that Light had indeed once been Kira. And that fact was exciting. Absurdity so. She _loved_ the idea. It suddenly made him ten times more attractive, twenty times more desirable. Yes…Light Yagami…he made her quiver inside.

"I want him!" She cried out loud, ignoring the pain in her face. "I need to have him! He's perfect for me!" She sure as hell was lucky no one was around at such an odd hour, because it gave her the freedom to indulge in her desires. "He's mine! _MINE_!"

Sheryl wheezed. Speaking at all also caused her face to hurt. She hardly cared. She knew that Light secretly wanted her too. If he didn't, why would he psychically be feeding her all this information? Surely he was doing it on purpose, so she could escape and get to the cabin in the mountains where she would spend a few months healing. Yes…Light loved her. He wanted her to rest and get better in a peaceful place in the mountains. And he wanted her to plot while she was there. That was why he was telling her all these things about Lawliet too. Like how he really was L. And how The Burner had ironed his feet. And all of the other really great nasty stuff that had happened to him. Yeah. L was easily crushable with such information.

Sheryl gasped in air. She was simply so excited. Her adrenalin raced, despite the hampering effects of her medications. She panted wildly, almost like a rabid animal. She sure as hell looked like one as she wobbled over to the nearest car.

_This is a sufficient car,_ the voice told her. And she knew then…that the voice had to be Light. It was Light's voice. He was helping her, because he loved her. _Pick up a rock and smash the driver's side window._ Sheryl didn't even hesitate. She was eager to obey, to do as Light wanted her to. She turned, her drugged, shivering, almost naked body swaying in the moonlight. Her wide, deranged blue eyes scanned the yards around her for a proper smashing device through the windows of her bandages. The neat and tidy little yards didn't have any rocks simply lying around…but they did have decorative stones. Sheryl quickly wobbled over to one of the nearest painted white stones used to surround a tiny garden, and scooped it up. Forsaking the dying pansies the stone was meant to help protect, she stood back up and turned to face the car. Staying a safe distance away, just at the place where she was, she flung the rock haphazardly at the window. She was lucky that it struck, and even luckier that it had enough force behind her drugged throw to break the window on the first try.

There was a satisfying shatter, and Sheryl actually squealed with delight as she watched the slivers of glass fall and dance across the black top just like the stars in the sky. A dog started barking from one of the yards.

_That dog will wake someone up soon, hurry._ Sheryl scampered over to the vehicle. Unable to avoid all of the glass, especially on such unsteady feet, she unfortunately got cut up along the way. But the drugs made it hardly noticeable, so she just told herself she'd take care of it later when she reached the cabin.

Reaching the broken window, she craned her arm inside and unlocked the driver's door. Then she pulled open the hinged sheet of metal. _Brush that glass away._ Seeing that the driver's seat was littered with glass, she did as told and very carefully tried to sweep it away so she wouldn't be too hurt when she entered. The dog was still barking however, and it had woken up a second dog. Knowing a human would wake next; she deemed it good enough and slid inside.

Light told her to kick open the bottom panel underneath the steering wheel, so she did so. Then, crouching down so she could see what she was doing, she followed very careful instructions on what to do with which wires and where. And by being diligent, she was able to bring the car to life. It let out a roar as it started and Sheryl also let out a whoop of excitement. Knowing that no one could stop her now, she grabbed the door and slammed it shut. Grabbing the drive shaft, she threw the little Nissan into gear. Slamming a bloody foot onto the gas, the car jerked, and then immediately took off flying down the road.

The absolute thrill of her success overwhelmed her. The wind blowing ice cold gusts of uncomfortable air through her bandages somehow added to the excitement. And as such, she simply couldn't resist: she started cackling like a mad woman. Then she let out a yell.

"Wooooo!" She hollered into the night as she flew out of the little suburban town. She was free.

Even so, Light informed her that she would get sick if she wasn't careful about that wind, so she reached to her controls and turned on the heat full blast to combat the freezing air coming through her broken window. She couldn't stop to patch it up. Not dressed like this…or rather…not dressed at all. And someone would most certainly recognize her if they saw the bandages on her face. She might actually make the news since she was wanted in an attempted murder investigation. She had to be careful. And Light told her in her head…that she had to take care of herself.

_You're a valuable asset Sheryl. That's why you must take so much time to heal. _Sheryl smiled, not caring about the pain in her face that caused her to gasp. Light loved her. He wanted her to take care of herself and heal. And as she healed, she would figure out her next step. She would find a way to make Light hers.


	15. Premonition

Author's Note: I apologize full heartedly for the delays. I contracted a very _very_ serious illness and have been out of commission and completely bedridden for the past two weeks, which is kind of ironic, considering that Jealousy started with Light having the flu. I won't go into detail, but just know that if your throat ever starts swelling up, make sure you go to the doctor _before_ you're unable to swallow. Yay. Seriously. Worst illness I've ever had.

But I survived! Yippie! So your favorite author is still here! And I'm writing now that I can sit up and breathe. Hahaha! I should make a full recovery within the next few days the doc says. Hurray for antibiotics! Hurray!

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"_Raito!"_ L woke up screaming, just as he had at the hospital. Terror gripped him. _"Raito-kun!"_ Blinded by the frenzied and complete horror that pierced him, L was unaware that he was safe at home in his own bed; even when two very large, very strong hands gripped his shoulders.

"Lawliet, sir! Wake up! You're having a nightmare!" The voice was deep, thick and unfamiliar to him. In his panic stricken state, L had completely forgotten that Jackie had switched shifts with James. As his night-shift bodyguard, Jackie had stationed himself in L's room by the doorway to watch over him. He remained standing stationary and ridged. He was unmoving and professional, like a sentry. Before he'd gone to sleep, L had even offered him a chair. He wouldn't sit. Standing kept him more alert, he'd said. L agreed…but argued that such precaution wasn't necessary with Sheryl incapacitated in the hospital. Still, Jackie was fully professional and refused all the same.

As he stood guard, no threats had become apparent…that was…until three in the morning when L had started groaning in his sleep. Jackie at first was going to let it be, it wasn't his business to interfere in his charges life after all, but within only a few short moments, it had turned into this. Afraid that his charge would hurt himself with such violent thrashing, he had come over to help. Jackie shook the much smaller, pale man a second time.

"Lawliet, sir!" L cried out in terror, not remembering who this strange man was, or what he was doing in his home at such a late hour. In his half-waking state, his subconscious was still clouding his usual genius. He started to fight with Jackie. Feeling that he'd been grabbed, L reached up digging his nails into the dark man's skin.

Jackie immediately let go. Not because he was hurt, and not because he was afraid of L causing him injury. No…in fact that was quite laughable. Jackie had barely felt the scratch, even though it had been all that L could muster. He was built like a tank and was twice as solid. Plus, L had clawed at his arms, unable to reach a more critical place like his eyes or face. But that was beside the point, the reason Jackie had let go was because he saw immediately that L would more likely hurt himself than Jackie if he started to wrestle with him. And besides, the chances of him calming down if Jackie backed off now that he was awake, were high.

And indeed his plan worked. The moment he pulled away and took a few steps back from the bed, L began to settle down. He stopped fighting and thrashing and instead sat up in the midst of his quilt and sheets. Wheezing wildly from his workout, his black hair sticking up in all directions, some coming down to cover one of his eyes, L gazed across the room at his protector. Jackie would admit to his surprise at seeing such huge eyes on a man. They were humungous; almost bug-like with their fear. L stared at him, his dark gaze unwavering. For a moment he still seemed confused, but within only a few seconds, Jackie could see the last tendrils of sleep and whatever horrid dream L'd had, leaving him. Slowly…L's shoulders slumped in relief. He sighed heavily, his large eyes shrinking back to a somewhat decent size.

"…Jackie…" he said the name out loud as if to remind himself of who this man actually was. As if the name could make Jackie a solid thing rather than some ghost. Jackie nodded in confirmation. L sighed a second time. It was hard to see Jackie in the dark. Despite his humungous size, his dark chocolate coloring and the fact that he was wearing dark clothes made him appear as if he were only a shadow or illusion. But L was sure he hadn't imagined the nod.

"You had a nightmare," he stated. L sat silently for a moment, only his heavy breathing filling the room. Then, slowly, his face started to contort into a look of anguish. He turned away from Jackie and turned to the empty place in the bed beside him. The place was woefully absent of the soul and body he needed. Even the bed missed its usual sleeper, for it kept an indentation in both the pillow and mattress as if waiting for Light to return.

L reached out a pale, shaking, hand, and rested it in the crevasse as if he could feel Light's warmth from it. Or as if he could actually reach through it and manage to touch his partner from within his jail cell, many miles away.

Clearly, this was not satisfying for the shaken sleeper, for L's next move was to lay back down, only this time on the opposite side of the mattress, on Light's side. He immediately buried his face in Light's pillow, inhaling deeply, getting what scent he could from the cloth. But the scent of his lover only tore his heart open more. Having his smell and not his warmth was devastating. Not caring in the least bit at all that he had an audience, L let out a pitiful whimper; a noise of grief that was not a sob, or a groan, but something horrid. It sounded similar to what Jackie would think a dog would sound like if it were starving to death slowly. It was brief, and soft, muffled by the pillow L clutched, but all the same, it made Jackie almost feel the agony L was wrestling to control.

Jackie was surprise. His usually stony face even moved a bit for this scene. This was his first time watching over the once great L. He'd spoken to James about him, sure, and James had said some things…but it was James. Jackie never took the man too seriously, unless it was something vitally important. But it seemed that James wasn't exaggerating. That sap story James had told Jackie when they switched shifts about L making this long, drawn-out speech about how much he loved Light…must have been true. Jackie felt for sure that James was simply pulling another prank on him. But this…this was real. And Jackie wasn't sure how to react or what to do. Finally, he decided to do what he usually did when James was acting stupid. He let out a snort and put on one of his best stern faces.

"Come on, pull yourself together! You're the great detective L, aren't you?" But L shook his head.

"No…not anymore." Despite his response, L did seem to recover some. He sat up, pulling away from Light's pillow. He turned away from the spot, realizing that it was only causing him pain. Without Light's scent in his nostrils, in his very lungs…it wasn't so bad. L, seated once again on top of the sheets, turned and faced Jackie. "I'm Lawliet now. I'm a different man entirely."

Jackie wrinkled his large flat nose. He wasn't really sure what to make of Lawliet. Light had been easy for him to figure out, basically because Light reminded him of his own child who was grown and around his same age. He reminded him of a college kid, or very young adult. He didn't see anything about 'Kira' inside of him. He was just some love-struck kid. Actually, it was the entire 'Kira' part that made him most confused. But not having ever seen Light as Kira, or what he was capable of, Jackie simply could view him as a young man.

But L had been so famous. Everyone knew L as L. This 'Lawliet' person was strange to him, and he really didn't know how to treat him. And so, he started by clearing his throat and saying the obvious.

"Some nightmare." L nodded slowly, but his eyes shifted in his skull and Jackie immediately noticed a look of deep contemplation. And that was precisely why L confused him. He was clearly very intelligent. He was always thinking or analyzing things. He was doing it right now. But his personality…

"It was the same as the dream at the hospital," he said. Jackie blinked. Was he supposed to respond? Or was L simply talking out loud? "I didn't remember the dream at the hospital. It slipped away from me. But now…now I'm certain. This dream was the same one." His dark eyes rolled toward the ceiling as he lifted a pointer finger to his mouth. He rubbed his thin bottom lip, contemplating.

"I don't remember all of this one either…but I remember the end. Kira…Kira was in it…that was why…why I was so frightened…" Jackie remained silent. Clearly, he wasn't meant to speak. But then L suddenly looked to his body guard. "Kira…had…taken over Light's body…again…"

Jackie could not ignore the sorrowful look that L suddenly had on his face. With most of his thinking through, the dark haired, pale man looked frightened once more. He was worried, that much was clear. His brows knit themselves together; his mouth formed a thin line as he clenched his teeth shut tight. Jackie felt prompted to speak.

"Isn't Kira dead?"

"Yes. Yes…of course…" But L looked away as he answered and down to the side. He didn't look so sure to Jackie, despite his immediate answer. "Raito…killed him. I…we…drowned him. Without hatred to feed off of…without the negative things and pressures that were in Japan…a split personality…has no way of surviving. I have not seen Kira in his eyes for years. Even when he's angry…truly angry…I have not seen Kira. We can fight…even viciously at times, and have the arguments just be…arguments. Kira is dead." It was still apparent however, that L wasn't so certain after his frightening dream. Jackie studied him.

"You think it can resurface? A split personality?" L looked thoughtful for a moment, then slowly shook his head.

"No. I think the dream was more like…Kira…was an outside force that possessed Raito. But…that's absurd. Kira was a personality that arose when Light found the Death Note and was corrupted by its power. Kira…is dead. I've just been…" L sighed quickly and frustratingly as he lifted a hand to his forehead. He closed his eyes for a moment, then reopened them a second later. "I've just been stressed…due to this entire Sheryl ordeal. Her actions…the way she goes about things…she's cruel. She reminds me very much of Kira. And having Light taken away does not help. I'm just…stressed. That's why I'm having these dreams…"

It made sense to Jackie. He was inclined to agree with the detective. L'd been through a lot. Much too much the past few weeks. Any normal person would have nightmares. And because Kira was one of L's worst experiences in life, his worst fear, it made sense that dreams involving Kira would pop up when he was under strain. And dreams involving his love being taken away by his worst fear made perfect sense, since Light had indeed been taken and that it was due to someone who reminded L of his now dead enemy. Confident that they'd figured out the source of L's dreams, Jackie relaxed a bit.

"Why don't you try to get some rest? That Halloween party is the day after next." L looked to his clock, seeing that it was three thirteen in the morning.

"Technically…it's tomorrow." He sighed heavily, clearly very depressed at the idea of going by himself. "I won't be able to sleep now. I think I'll…brainstorm some ways to get Raito out of jail…" And before Jackie could object, L had swung his legs over the side of the bed and was standing up. Knowing it was not his place to interfere (like James did on a daily basis…) but rather to simply keep an eye on L and make sure he was safe, Jackie didn't try to stop him. He simply followed the small man down the stairs and over to his computer where he pushed the power button. The machine began to hum to life, and as it did, L stepped up and curled himself into his office chair. Still completely clad in his PJ's, the softly glowing screen bathed him in its glow, crazed bed head hair and all.

L immediately felt comforted. Without Light…this was all he knew to do.


	16. Strained

Author's Note: Hello again loyal fans. I come with good and bad updates in my personal life. Good news is I've finally found myself a job. If you weren't aware I've been unemployed for a very long time now and have been surviving off of part-time, freelance, and contract work. I have found a full-time position (for now. It's a sales job. I'm still looking for a graphic design gig.) I'm also finishing up a contract job which runs through June 12th. As such, I'll be working more than a full load once the full-time job starts up. Needless to say, I'll barely have time to breathe, bathe, do my laundry or see my girlfriend during this six week period.

Obviously, the bad news is that writing will be out of the question, since I'll be sacrificing sleep in order to survive. Luckily, your dear ol' Spotofpaint is a smart author, and always has a few chapters written ahead of time for incidences just like this one. I never planned on revealing my little secret, but I feel obligated now. As such, I have three back-up chapters in place. So I'll be able to update about once every two weeks. Do NOT hold me to the day for updates. Life's about to get nutty, and I may forget. But I will post a chapter here and there during this time period, even though I won't be writing new chapters. So check back every few weeks.

When June 12th rolls around, I'll get back on schedule, since I'll only have one job to handle. I'm sure you can all understand my situation and I appreciate your patience. I love you all for reading, rock on!

~Spotofpaint

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James stood on the porch of Light and L's beautiful two story, wooden built home. The day was gorgeous. The sky was clear after a particularly cold night, and as a result, the blue coloring was pristine. The sun shone fourth in all of its upstate glory, happy to help the trees show off their brightest colors. James was sure it would be the most beautiful day the fall would have to offer. The fire engine reds and pumpkin oranges and canary yellows couldn't possibly be any more vibrant. And so, the colors would soon start to fade, the leaves falling off their perches and to the ground to prepare for winter. But for now at least, the world was filled with brilliant colors.

James took only a few moments to enjoy it, and to inhale the crisp fall air. It smelt like wet leaves. It was one of his favorite smells of autumn. Like how freshly cut grass was his favorite summer smell, or like how fresh snow was his favorite winter smell. James chuckled to himself. _No wonder grouches like Jackie and L don't like me, I'm a bit corny even when by myself._

Finally, he lifted his hand and knocked on the front door three times. He waited patiently for the routine he knew was about to come. He listened as someone shuffled around behind the door, then the usual gruff voice asked,

"Password." Jackie, as always, was brisk and to the point.

"Rainbows and puppies," James answered. He chuckled to himself at his own games. Jackie let out a huff and a sigh on the other side of the door.

"Now I _know_ it's you James. You never answer the damn question straight the first time through." He sighed in frustration again. "Come on…give me the real one. It's protocol." James rolled his eyes.

"You're never any fun. You do everything by the very letter of the book. Fine. It's Strawberry Swirl Cheesecake today." Jackie sighed heavily on the other side of the door yet again, because James wasn't joking. That was the new, real, password, which the head of Secret Services had given them. He just hated the new password. And so, begrudgingly, he unlocked and opened the door. James, smiling like a ray of sunshine, as always, stepped inside to greet his partner and his charge.

"Good morning Jackie! How'd your first shift go? Did our famous detective sleep like a baby?" Jackie grumbled.

"No. And you shouldn't call him a detective out loud, it's dangerous." James waved him off casually.

"Yeah yeah. And, your answer was 'no?' He didn't sleep?"

"Nope. Hardly at all. He's asleep now though." Jackie gestured nonchalantly over to the computer desk. James looked out and across the threshold and then across the living room and over to the corner where the desk was set up next to the fire place. Sure enough, there L was, fast asleep in the most uncomfortable position James had ever seen. He winced, making a wretched face as if he were some sort of cartoon character.

L still sat curled tightly in his usual fetal position, feet tucked snugly beneath his body, knees pressed into his chest. But it became an even odder sight to look at when combined with the fact that he was slouched forward, the side of his face pressed into his keyboard. He had a word program open where he had probably been typing ideas or bits of information, but now it was simply typing the letters G and H over and over again in rapid fire. In addition, one arm was tucked snugly between the top of his thigh and his chest. The other was sprawled across his desk, a half empty coffee cup within his slack fingers reach. It looked almost as if he'd fallen asleep as he had reached for his warm drink. James immediately 'tsked' his partner.

"Shame Jackie, shame. As Lawliet's bodyguards, we are obligated to take care of him. We don't just protect him from crazy fan girls or people who want to put a bullet in his gut, but we also need to protect him from depression and germs. Sleeping like that, he'll get sick, and a back ache. Back aches are no fun, trust me! I had this terrible one once! I'd fallen asleep on an airplane ride, and I was slouched sideways up against the window and the lady next to me was snoring so what I did was I…"

"James," Jackie said calmly. "Shut up." James frowned, but indeed stopped telling his story. He looked to his partner disapprovingly.

"You're just tired. Go home and get some sleep. Youki's watching Light for the time being. I'll take care of Lawliet _properly_ while you're away." Jackie clearly had at least a dozen things he could have said to James: like about responsibility, and perhaps watching out for people who might be trying to _kill _the once famous detective instead of playing nanny, but he was indeed tired. He wasn't in the mood to indulge James in a fight, so he simply turned and headed toward the door. James waited until he closed it behind him, then until he heard him start up his car, then he turned to his charge.

James couldn't help but to feel a pang of pity. L looked terrible. And James knew that he must have been up all night trying to figure out how to be with his incriminated partner. The soon to be thirty-year-old was paler than usual, and had deep dark circles under his eyes. He seemed small and pitiable. Knowing what L needed most was a decent place to sleep; James reached out and gently touched his shoulder.

"Hey, Lawliet," he said quietly. L let out a small groan. The hand he had resting on the desk twitched. Then L slowly reached out, grabbing a hold of James's sleeve with his one hand weakly. His grip was loose as he pinched the cloth between his thumb and fingers. Head still down, black hair a mess and covering his sleepless eyes, he mumbled,

"Rai…to…" James's heart melted. _L's adorably hopeless._ But knowing he could not indulge, or play any games, James shook him again, just as gently as the first time.

"Come on you big baby…wake up." He said it almost lovingly, like a mother hen. L groaned sleepily a second time, and then finally seemed to come around. His tired black eyes cracked open just a tad, revealing the just as black coloring beneath. Those captivating orbs shifted slightly as he blinked, then moved to James's face. Even as groggy as he was, James could see the deep disappointment in his features. He looked almost pained that the man's sleeve he clutched wasn't his Raito-kun's.

"…James…" he muttered. James nodded in confirmation.

"Yeah. Sorry bro." L uncurled his fingers, letting his hand fall to his side. Then he gradually went to lift his head from his keyboard. There was a loud 'pop' and L immediately let out a small cry. As he winced, his free hand went to his neck.

"Ooo…I know that pain," James said. He reached out, quickly taking L's shoulders. He carefully tried to help straighten him as he sat up. L, too sleepy and confused to really object, let him. Three more pops, all in a consecutive row came from L's spine. He let out another weakened cry, his face contorting yet again.

"M…my scoliosis…" It took James a minute to figure out what 'scoliosis' was, but he soon remembered. L's back was curved and slightly crooked due to the abuse his biological parents had put him through as a child. His slight hunch was the result. James imagined that sleeping as he just had didn't make it easy on him.

"Let's get you up to bed, hmm? You can sleep properly there and straighten out." L didn't say anything at first. He remained seated in his curled position, only now he was erect. He gazed gloomily at his screen, filled with G's and H's. His expression seemed almost glazed.

"I couldn't do it…" At first, James wasn't sure he'd heard. L'd spoken so softly he thought his ears had failed him.

"I'm sorry?"

"I've failed…" L responded immediately. James blinked, not understanding.

"Wh…what do you mean?"

"I couldn't…get Raito out of jail…I…I couldn't…" his voice trailed off, his tones sounding broken and defeated. His weary eyes gazed sorrowfully at his meaningless screen. "It's the secret service. They…were made to protect us. Anything I would do…any trick or card or manipulation I could play…even if I found a loophole in the system…I couldn't exploit it. If I did…I'd be rejecting your services. The secret service would no longer be our allies. We wouldn't have to fear of you being our enemies, of course, Quil…wouldn't let you hurt us, but…if I…we…if we reject your services…how can you help us? You can't. It must be willing, or there is no help at all. And then…then we'd have to deal with Sheryl and any other threat that comes our way on our own. And I…I…I can't anymore!" L squeezed his eyes shut, lifting his head and chin away from the screen.

"I barely survived last time. The last time we didn't have help…Webber was…he…he almost…" he choked on his own words, unable to finish as his throat seemed to close off. Still not looking at James or his screen, he lowered his gaze.

"Raito and I…we need the secret service. We need your help. We cannot do it alone. The real police would have to get involved if we tried. And…and then Raito would be taken away from me. And we would both eventually be killed. So…no matter what I do…how I plan it…I cannot…cannot take Raito out of jail. I'm too weak…and I've failed…"

"No," James answered immediately. "No, of course you haven't." He grabbed L's chair and swiveled it around, forcing L to face him. Even if L would not look up at him, James held his gaze for if he dared to meet his eyes. And so, he spoke firmly.

"You _will _see Light soon. It's just like I told you at the hospital. Light will be set free shortly. Sheryl is either not going to press charges, or we're going to get some DNA evidence off that cupcake to pit against her. And once we get that evidence, they'll let Light go. You won't be apart from him for more than a few more weeks, tops. Our guys are the best! They're already on it! They're already inspecting Sheryl's house. We'll get her soon. Then you can be with your boyfriend." The corner of L's mouth twitched upward, just enough to be noticeable.

"I hate that term." James smiled then too.

"Boyfriend." He said it again, just to see if he could get a reaction out of the dead-panned ex-detective. Just to see if he could get him to feel some emotion other than sadness. L seemed as if he were at least trying to rise to the bait.

"I prefer partner." James's grin remained as he stood up to his full height.

"Well that's fine, I guess, if you're married." L's cheeks immediately reddened at the M word.

"That's a bit of a leap . Partner can mean a large variety of things from a platonic relationship, like friendship, to a partner in a hobby, such as sky-diving, dancing, or poker. Partner can be used in such a wide range of ways that it's hardly appropriate to immediately say something like marriage. One could have a partner in ice skating, or bowling. One could even have a partner as singles in a bar. Partner is such a loose term that it may be used in almost any aspect of…"

"Ok! Ok! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you go all dictionary on me! Geeze! I get the point. Light's your…"partner." And James actually lifted his hands into the air to perform air quotes as he mocked the term. L didn't respond to his prompting.

"Come on Lawliet, why not go upstairs to bed?" James tried again. At least L seemed a little less gloomy than when he'd first woken. "Didn't you promise me yesterday that you'd only mope around for one day?"

"That was just something I'd said to get you to leave me alone so I could do my moping in peace," L openly admitted. James quickly made himself to appear as if he were crushed.

"What? You mean…you lied to me?"

"Yes. I'm afraid I'll be moping as long as I please and whenever I feel the need too." James couldn't help it, he grinned. It was ridiculous to think otherwise. No one could put a time limit on things like emotions. No one could say 'I'll only be sad today, and not tomorrow.' Things simply didn't work that way, and James was glad that L knew as much.

"Ok, well why don't you do the rest of your moping in bed? You shouldn't sit like that if your back hurts. You should lay out straight and flat. I'll guard you while you sleep." L let out a quiet scoff.

"As if I were treasure to be stolen." James quickly put his hands underneath L's arms to try and get him moving.

"Come on come on! Up to bed!" L tried to shrug out of James's grip, he didn't like being handled by anyone other than Light and he liked to do things on his own. Now that he was fully awake, he wouldn't be subjected to such physical things.

"I'm perfectly capable of-!" But the moment he moved to climb out of his chair on his own, several more loud pops were heard. He cried out, fumbling out of his chair haphazardly. He got to his feet awkwardly, but what he did couldn't really be called standing. He was upright, his feet on the floor, yes, but he was hunched so horribly he looked almost like a gorilla or very skinny caveman. L's face contorted with discomfort.

"Ooo…" he groaned. His back sent spasms down his spine and into his legs. It also managed to shoot the pain upward and into his skull at the same time. L wasn't sure how it was possible, but it all began to cramp up at once. There was no way in hell he'd be able to stand upright without ripping a tendon or causing some other form of immense agony. James, as motherly as he was, was immediately on it. He hurried to L's side, reaching out and taking his shoulder so he wouldn't fall.

"That looks horrible! Come on, if bed won't help, a hot bath will. It'll loosen up all your muscles. Come on, I'll go turn on the water."

"James…" L croaked through his pain. "Stop it." He suddenly sent a look the young man's way that was as cold as ice. James froze. "I don't want you taking care of me. I appreciate your concern and sometimes…not always…your company. But I do _not_ want you babying me. I have only one person in my life that I allow that close to me. I will only let one person draw me a bath, or help me into bed. If he were here…I'd request…a massage. But he's not. And I don't want you attempting to take his place in any way, no matter how small. And so…I will allow you to help me up the stairs…considering I'm not sure if I can manage it on my own. But once I'm on the landing, I want you to head back downstairs and guard the front door or wherever else you think you're bodyguard skills are necessary. But I can most certainly take a bath, or go to bed on my own."

And it was then that James understood. L had never had a mother. He'd never had a father, or a best friend. He'd never had a nanny, or grandmother, or any other type of figure in his life that would do the things for him that James was trying to do for him now. He'd had Quillish Whammy. And Quil, for all that he'd done for L, had _never_ babied him. Quite the contrary; Quil's job was to care of L while also ensuring that he grew strong and independent of others.

So when L said there was only one person he allowed to do such worrisome things for him, he meant it. There was Light Yagami, and only Light Yagami. And because Light was the only person he'd experienced such kindness from…the gesture coming from anyone else…seemed too intimate. These were things, only his lover would do.

James blushed suddenly. He hadn't realized. He grew up in a house with four other children, and he was the second oldest. He was used to giving baths, taking care of sick and puking children, fixing supper. Blood, vomit, or any other type of bodily fluid didn't bother him. Even nakedness didn't really phase him any. In a house that small with so many people, it just happened. But for L it wasn't so. James was certain that no one had seen his bodily fluids or his nakedness with exception of Quillish Whammy and Light Yagami. They were the only ones with permission. And James was sure that now that L was an adult…even Quil wasn't allowed in that circle anymore.

"Yeah…I understand. Sorry." Having realized that he had accidentally crossed a line into a place where only a lover was allowed, James immediately backed off.

"It's ok," L said. "Just…give me more space from now on." James nodded. Then L turned to hobble pathetically toward the stairs. He winced horridly as he did so. "Maybe I will call a chiropractor to make a house call when I get out of the bath…" He certainly needed one. Having reached the bottom of the stairs, L struggled to lift a foot without irritating his back muscles too much, but it was painful. His back was wound tight. Any movement hurt. He winced.

"…"

"James, please."

"Yes…James." L winced again. "Remember I informed you I may need help up the stairs?" James nodded. He felt so foolish all of a sudden. Simply touching L now seemed like he were crossing some unspoken line. But he ignored it and quickly hurried over. Carefully and gently placing one hand on L's shoulder and another on his elbow, he started to help him up the stairs. Slowly, and carefully, they worked their way up one step at a time.

"How ridiculous…" L mumbled after the fourth step.

"Why's that?"

"Oh, I just realized how useless I am without Raito. Look at how easily I fall apart. I used to go days without sleep. I'd fallen unconscious at my desk many times, and I'd never been crippled by it before."

"Well you're getting older. You're about to turn thirty after all. The big three-oh!"

"Yes…thirty is considered quite young in our society though. You realize an average man makes it to at least eighty with modern medicine. And I dare say by the time I'm eighty, the age will have risen to ninety or one hundred. So really, forty or fifty is mid-life." He winced once more for the seventh step. "Although I suppose…my poor health early on in my life…will…kill me earlier…" His voice was strained, but James recognized that he was trying to distract himself as they worked their way upward. But there was no more need. They'd made it to the top.

"I wouldn't be too pessimistic. People who have healthy brains live longer, don't they?" L chuckled.

"No James. I'm afraid intelligence has nothing to do with how long you live. Although…they do say that…happy people…live longer." L glanced over his hunched shoulders and James's way as he spoke this last line. James couldn't help but to feel like it was a very large compliment coming from the ex-detective. James beamed. L smiled with a small, somewhat strained grin in return.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a bath." Then L managed to hobble into his bedroom on his own. He closed the door. James stood just outside it until he heard the water turn on in the master bath, then he turned around and headed back down the stairs. He wondered if L realized…that as long as Light was with him, L fell into the same category as James.


	17. Jail

Author's Note: Sorry about the wait guys! As stated previously, life's been busy! But as promised, I'll still be posting up chapters. Here's one you guys seem to have been waiting for. Sometimes it's a little funny, I'll get requests or reviews about a certain subject or chapter or central idea and think to myself "huh, that's the very next chapter I'll be posting. They just don't know it yet. Heheh!" Anyway, I love you guys! Keep reading!

P.S.- When I wrote this scene, there were only two states that allowed gay marriage. Apparently we're up to four now and a fifth is up for vote. Just FYI if anyone keeps up on it. And New York still isn't one of them. I decided not to correct or change it considering I wanted this entire story to take place in the fall of 2008.

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Light Yagami was in jail. Jail: a place with three, cold, gray, cement walls, a cold cement floor, a cold cement ceiling, and then one open entrance that was barred with unfeeling, thick metal. Light presumed it was iron. His cell was mostly barren. There was a small cot that was fixated to the wall. Its bottom was a bed of small metal pieces, fixed together to form small square-like patterns. On top of it was a thin, very uncomfortable mattress. He had one blanket and a pillow. The blanket was scratchy, and the pillow smelt funny. All in all, it was a terrible bed and a horrible place to sleep.

Light was used to his king sized, ultra soft, memory foam mattress. The one with the heating option for winters when it was cold. And of course, he had a sheet, a flannel blanket and then a comforter on top of that at his home. The comforter was downy of course. And the pillow always smelt of fresh linen. And then, he was also used to having a warm body next to him.

It was hard figuring out how to sleep on his own when he'd been with Lawliet for so long. _How long has it been now?_ He pondered. _Well…when I spoke with him that first time back in Japan…and then up through the Kira case…that was all of collage and the end of high school. That was an entire four years or so. And then, from when we moved to the United States, it's been almost three. So…we've known each other for seven years. And we've been dating for three._

Light lay back on his bumpy, uncomfortable cot and stared up at his ceiling. He marveled. _Seven years…so much has happened between us. I can't even fathom…how it was even possible that I once hated his very guts. _A bit of guilt crept in then, as it usually did when Light thought about their days back in Japan. He doubted that he would ever fully be able to forgive himself for the things he'd done to L…even though L had.

_People usually get married after three years…don't they? Especially if they'd been living together for so long…_ But this only brought him more sadness. He and L never spoke about it. It was almost a taboo. The M word was never uttered out loud, and for good cause. Two men were not allowed to get married in the state of New York. Light knew very well that there were only two states that recognized marriage like that: Connecticut and Massachusetts. But of course, when they'd first moved to New York, neither of them had been thinking or considering such a radical step. Light wondered if L had even been thinking about it at all the past three years. It didn't really seem like something either one of them was eager to jump on and do. They did things at their own pace, and Light recognized that they were happy where they were…for now.

The problem became later down the road. Light knew perfectly well that he would indeed wish to propose one day. Possibly sooner than later. But there seemed to be little point. What would they do? Light could give L a ring, sure. He could even throw a big party and have caterers and guests and wedding cake. But it would all only be for show. Legally…nothing would bind the two together. They had no right to things like Social Security benefits, health insurance, Medicaid, hospital visitation, estate taxes, retirement savings, pensions, or even family leave.

Light thanked God for the secret service. As of right now, the two didn't have to worry about a lot of those issues. But if they ever wanted to get married, seriously, legally married so that they could share everything they had in a legal sense…it would be near impossible in the state of New York. And the idea of giving up their perfect home and their cute little town and all the friends they'd made to move to another state seemed absurd. And they couldn't just go and get married and then come back to New York…because in New York, their marriage license wouldn't be worth anything.

Light sighed, his mood plummeting rapidly. Although…he was in jail…it wasn't too high to begin with. _There's no point thinking about all of this. I'm sure Lawliet has given it thought too. There's no way he hasn't. And if he's decided not to mention it or even hint at it…then he's reached the same conclusion as me. Talking about it would only cause him grief. _

Light sat up then, eager to think about something else. Sadly, there was nothing in his cell to distract him. The only other thing in his cell other than his cot was a toilette in the corner and a tiny, tiny sink. He'd already had his lunch, so he wasn't hungry. They fed him pretty well. He was certain that being in the secret service jail was a lot nicer than a real jail. At least it was quiet. He was the only prisoner here after all, even though he could see more cells across from his own. He just really wished he had a book or something. Especially since he was thinking about things like how he could never marry his Lawli. And also the party. Light's eyes grew large.

_The party! Oh! The party's tonight! God! I hope everyone's remembered my instructions! I won't be there to bark orders! _His plummeting mood crashed. He was sure Lawliet's surprise party would be a disaster without him. What about the cake? And the presents? And everyone would have to be prepared for when Lawliet entered the Town Hall's main room. They'd need a look out to tell everyone that he was coming. And what if Lawliet decided not to come because he was too depressed, or he didn't want to go without Light?

"GRAHH!" Light let out a frustrated cry, his hands flying to his fine, silky, caramel hair. _It's ruined! Months of hard work and preparation! _Clearly, Light had little faith in the townspeople pulling it off without him standing there giving direction. He flopped back down on his mattress. At least…it would be a good Halloween party. At least it would get L out of the house. He needed to go do something. The reports Light had been getting from Jackie and James hadn't been too great. Light knew all about L's sleepless nights, his nightmares, and the tears he was shedding. Light knew…he knew just how very hard it was for L to be alone. The party would surround him with good people and good friends. Light knew that he had to convince him to go. Or rather, tell James to convince him to go. It was tonight after all.

It was then that Light heard the front door open. Because the secret service's jail station was so small, Light was in the first cell down the hall from the front desk where Youki currently sat guarding him. He could hear everything the woman was doing right down to flipping her pages in her magazine. And so, when someone walked in the front door, it had been clearly audible, especially in such a silent place. Light immediately sat up on his cot.

"Good afternoon Youki." It was James's voice. Immediately Light knew something was up. James guarded Lawliet during the day. And because of the party, and the fact that Jackie wasn't as good in social situations, James would be pulling a double shift and he'd be with L until the next day.

"Hey James," came Youki's voice. Light heard her lay down her magazine. "Ah! You brought a visitor today! I was wondering when you two would finally come to visit." Light's heart leapt out of his chest and up into his throat. Was the visitor who he thought it was?

"Yes, I brought Raito some things." And there it was; the voice Light had been dying to hear, that soft, polite, tenor voice. It was L. L had come to see him.

"Oh, that's sweet of you. You understand I'll have to check everything out first."

"Yes, of course. I promise there are no filing tools in any of these items." It was L's lame attempt at a joke. Nobody laughed. Not even Light, who was oh so very happy to hear such a lame joke from his love. He heard Youki struggle to at least giggle, but it died in her throat. Light listened to a bunch of shuffling as an array of items were handed over the desk and to his guard. He couldn't see into the office though, so he wasn't sure what L had brought him.

_Hopefully a book to pass the time. And my pillow,_ he thought. Light waited several minutes, but apparently Youki was taking her job very seriously. As she worked, she spoke again,

"L, do you remember me?" There was a brief silence. Then a longer more uncomfortable silence. Light could practically hear the wheels racing in L's mind, but he was clearly having troubles. Then, with a distressed tone, he answered,

"No." This was upsetting for him. Light was certain that L probably remembered everyone's face and name. At least those he'd worked with. Light knew he had an impeccable memory. To not recall someone was viewed as a bit of a failure. But Light only smiled softly to himself. Youki had already introduced herself to Light and explained how she knew the two of them. Light hadn't remembered her either. It had been a horrific night. And of course, Youki was a code name, just like James and Jackie. It also was from a Rush Hour movie.

"That's ok L, I didn't think you would. I was the leader on that squad of three that came to rescue you and Light from The Burner that night back in Atlanta. It was dark and I think you were unconscious by the time we reached you." Light grimaced. L certainly didn't like talking about that night. A deep and awkward silence filled the front of the station. There was some more shuffling of things as Youki checked out the items.

L said something then. Softly. Too quietly for Light to make it out from down the hall of cells. But he had recognized his tones.

"You're welcome," came Youki's response. More awkward silence. Then more shuffling. "Everything checks out. You can go in and see him now," she said.

"Thank you." There was even more shuffling as items were passed hands, and then finally Light heard footsteps coming his way. Finally he would get to see his Lawliet. Light immediately jumped up and ran to the front bars of his cell. He looked out them eagerly as he saw a pair of shadows appear at the end of the hall.

"Lawli?" he called. Immediately, the smaller silhouette broke into a run. It was a bit unexpected. L never ran. He hated physical activity. But a short dash such as this probably wasn't so bad. Besides…it really showed how much he missed Light.

"Raito!" The shadow came nearer, and as he did and came into the bare lighting of Light's cell, L's features became clearer. "Raito!" He reached the bars of his lover's cell and immediately dropped the large armload of things he was carrying. He reached out through the bars sticking his hands as far through as they would go. Luckily, they fit and he wrapped his lanky arms around his partner. Bony body pressed against the cold iron, L held onto Light as tightly as he could, pulling him up against the bars as well. Light reached through as L had and reciprocated by wrapping L up just as tightly. The two hugged, as fiercely as they could with the bars in their way.

"Oh Raito! I missed you so much! You have no idea! I…I couldn't sleep. I've had nightmares. They came back, and all I want are sweets to eat and I…I want to eat your orange chicken! And I wake up and you're not there! And I hurt my back this morning and I wanted a massage. And then I was afraid you'd be cold in jail because you sleep with so many blankets on regularly. And you take such pride in your clothes and you…you don't have anything nice to wear in jail. And I made a mess in the kitchen and it just stayed that way because you weren't there to clean it up or yell at me!"

Light felt a wave of heat rise up behind his eyes so quickly that there was no stopping the sudden pressure. They teared. He loved L. He loved this man in his arms. And in L's crazy, round-about way, L was trying to tell him that he loved him and missed him too. To even try and describe life without Light in it was so upsetting for him. Light increased his grip, not caring if he was crushing his smaller partner.

"It's ok Lawli…it's ok. We'll have all that back soon, ok? Don't worry." L nodded, even though he _was_ worried. Despite what he'd told James the other day about knowing it was ridiculous to say he couldn't survive without his Raito-kun…here he was…feeling as if he could certainly never, ever survive. L squeezed his eyes shut, tightly. His heart pounded against his chest. He could feel Light's heart pounding too.

Needing his scent, knowing just where his favorite place to bury his nose was, L suddenly pushed his face up to the bars. His cheeks hit the iron on each side and he could not fit his head through. He knew he must have looked ridiculous, but he didn't care. Light's body was pressed close enough so that he could indeed bury his nose in his neck. It wasn't quite the right spot, that spot was further back where his neck met his shoulder, but it was close. And the scent was the same. L inhaled deeply. Then suddenly let out a cough.

"Raito's shampoo and soap and laundry detergent are different," he said simply. "But you still smell like Raito…beneath it." Light smiled softly. He gently lifted a hand to the back of L's head. Tenderly, he stroked his partner, sliding his smooth digits between locks of full, thick, raven hair. He lovingly caressed him, sliding his hand back along his scalp.

"Yeah…the prison shower isn't as nice as ours." L chuckled, a hiccup interrupting the short laugh to make it even shorter still.

"I imagine not." The two stood quietly then for a few moments, simply holding one another, feeling one another, breathing one another. L's eyes fluttered closed as he enjoyed his caresses, and Light did the same, absorbing every warm breath that came out of L's nose and through his orange prison shirt. But then there was an unspeakable need that arose. L lifted his head and Light stopped running his fingers through L's hair. The two gazed at each other for only a second, then both leaned in.

Their lips met, and they kissed sweetly through the iron bars of Light's prison. Light kept his hand on the back of L's head as L's rose to gently cup Light's face. The sweetened kiss lasted for several long seconds, but both knew it would be foolish to continue. Anything more…would only make them ache for one another. A short, sweet kiss…would satisfy their need for a physical connection, but it wouldn't spark the yearning both were already struggling with. And so…after a few more tender caresses and nuzzlings, they broke apart.

Barely even able to handle this small parting, L immediately turned away and to the pile of things he'd dropped on the floor at his feet when he first entered. He couldn't even look at Light for a few brief seconds; for fear that he would throw himself at him yet again. He exhaled slowly, a bit of a shudder escaping his lips. But he wouldn't think about it. So instead, he bent down and grabbed the largest item off the floor.

"I brought you…our comforter." L stood back up, then turned to Light, able to face him now that he was gathered. Light's eyes lit up. L started to work the thick, downy stuffed comforter through the bars. Light grabbed on the end in his cell and helped by starting to pull. The thing was very thick, enough to make it getting in the cell a chore. But finally it was through and Light delighted in it by hugging it to his chest.

"Oh Lawli! You have no idea how much I missed our bed! I was just thinking about it when you came to visit!" L smiled slyly.

"I _do _know. I also know that you needed this." L grabbed Light's pillow, showing it to him. Light's eyes lit up.

"Oh Lawliet! My memory foam pillow! Thank you so much!" Light turned and threw his blanket on top of his crappy cot. Then he turned to face the bars once again. It was the same deal as with the comforter, they had to smush the extra thick pillow through the bars. But it worked. Light then hugged the second item. L laughed outright. It was a very rare treat indeed to see Light acting like a little child. But L supposed he had every right. He was in jail. With nothing. These gifts would make his stay easier.

"I also brought you a book."

"Lawliet I _love_ you! You knew exactly every item that I was thinking about!" L smiled brightly, clearly proud of the fact that he'd gotten almost everything Light had desired.

"Well I know you Light Yagami. Down to the very strict schedule you keep on when to clip your toenails."

"Wh…what? I don't schedule that!"

"The sixth of every month." Light immediately turned a brilliant shade of red. L chuckled merrily at the embarrassed expression on his loves face.

"Raito, we've slept together. There's nothing to ever be ashamed about."

"Just because we're sleeping together doesn't mean I want you knowing all about my toe nails and…and…whatever else it is that you know."

"You can't eat Mexican food without suffering on the toilette the next day for at least two hours. But it usually lasts all day." Light's red face became a brilliant crimson. L _noticed_ things.

"Y…yeah? Oh yeah? Well how about you? You chew your fingers and your nails! You hardly ever shower unless I tell you too! And you pick at your toes!"

"My habits don't embarrass me though, Raito. Yours do." Light let out a 'hmph' then promptly turned away from L and stuck his nose up in the air. L immediately let out a laugh. He missed that indignant look.

"Here," L said softly then. He reached through the bars, touching the corner of the book against Light's slack hand. Light blinked, then turned to look down at it. He gently put his pillow down on his cot along with the blanket, then turned and took the book, examining its title.

"Scientific Exploration into the Supernatural?" Light lifted his gaze back to L's face. He was still smiling, only now it seemed a bit sad.

"I think we may be one of those few, rare people on this earth who believe very firmly in both science, and the supernatural." Light nodded slowly. It was true. The existence of the Shinigami and the Death Note had destroyed all previous thoughts that both Light and L had on science being the only real truth. Now they both knew…that if things like death gods could exist, if things like magical demonic notebooks could exist…then they weren't closed to much of anything else.

"This book explores the possibilities of ghosts, God, mythical creatures, and a variety of other things. I haven't read it myself yet, but I also have a copy at home. I thought we could…read it together while we're separated." Light gazed at the cover again before looking back to L's sweet face.

"Thank you Lawli…" Light said softly. L gave a curt nod. "Of course." The two were silent for a moment more, the heaviness of their situation becoming apparent once again. Not wanting to bear the emotions a second time, L cleared his throat and bent down to pick up the last thing he'd brought. It was a plastic CVS bag filled with a bunch of Light's necessities.

"Here. It has your razor, some shaving cream, your electric toothbrush, and your deodorant. I can't imagine how you survived this long without them."

"Oh ha ha Lawli, very funny." Light took the bag handed him through the bars. For a moment, he simply held it. It fell silent yet again. Light, feeling the same awkward pressure as L, quickly placed the bag down and turned to face his saddened partner.

"So…uh…the party…" L immediately let out a large, heavy, rush of air and looked away and to the side.

"The party," he mumbled. "I suppose…I…won't go. I couldn't…"

"What? Lawli! No! You have to go! You've been looking forward to this Halloween party all month long! And it's…you're birthday today…" Light's voice trailed off after saying such a simple thing. It was Lawliet's birthday. That fact tore him to pieces inside. He'd had everything planned out. He had wanted to wake him in the morning with the smell of chocolate chip pancakes. He'd wanted to take him into town to buy him an ice cream cone at Katie's. Then he planned a small walk by the watermill. And of course, they'd have lunch at the café. And when it came time for the party, they'd get ready together and Light would have helped him into the costume he'd finally picked out. Then they'd go together, dressed ridiculously to Town Hall where everyone would have been waiting for them to shout out 'surprise' for Lawliet's party.

But now…now…L was sleeping alone. He was suffering nightmares and depression. He was all alone. All alone for yet another birthday. When Light looked up to check on his partner, he saw the bluest, saddest little smile he'd ever seen.

"Yeah…it's my birthday…" L kept his gaze away and to the side, then began rubbing the bottom of his sandal up against a smudge on the prison floor. Lawliet was spending his birthday in a prison.

"Lawliet," Light suddenly said, desperation in his tones. It was his heart wrenching voice that made L look back up from the ground. And when he met Light's eyes, he could clearly see just how desperate he was. "Lawliet, go to that party." L blinked with surprise.

"Wh…what? Raito…but why? I…I don't want to go by myself. It's a Halloween party and…"

"It doesn't matter! Just promise me you'll go anyway, ok? Promise you'll go! Promise…"

"Ok ok! I'll go!" L couldn't stand hearing such pleading coming from Light who was usually so proud, so strong. He never would have expected him to beg in such a way. L's dark brow wrinkled in concern. What was wrong with him?

"Raito…what's going on? Are you ok?" Light tried to get himself under control. Everything was all right. L would go to the party. The town's people would pull off the surprise. They had to. What else did Lawliet have left? _It'll be ok. He'll be fine. He'll have a great birthday, even without me. He'll have fun. He'll have a great time. Now smile you idiot! He's worried!_ Light quickly lifted his head, flashing the best, bravest grin he could muster.

"I'm fine Lawli!" L almost jumped back in alarm. He'd never seen such a fake face on Light before. Light didn't _do_ fake. He was always sincere. All the time. That was why his temper was so bad, he told everyone how he felt, regardless of their feelings. It was one of the many qualities L loved about him. Seeing a face like that on him now…almost broke his heart.

_He's trying to keep me from worrying. He wants me to be happy today…because it's my birthday. It's a rare exception for him and rare circumstances. Light's trying to…make me feel as good as he can. _L knew then that their usual routine wouldn't be taking place. L wouldn't question him. He wouldn't call Light out on his fake smile. He would have to play along. They wouldn't argue, or have a contest of wits. No…L would pretend that smile was real, because Light was doing this for him. He was, for once in his life, trying to sacrifice his own feelings for someone else's.

Something wet fell down L's right cheek. He immediately lifted a hand, wiping the offending liquid away. He nodded quickly.

"Ok Raito…I'll go to the party." Light nodded in return.

"Good. You'll have a great time, I promise." L really didn't know what to say to him. He wouldn't dare say what he really thought, that he'd be miserable the whole time without Light by his side. He dared not say it. Light was working hard to give him the best present that he could right now. L would have accepted any present from Light. Even a painful one like this. But the pressure between them was mounting, and neither knew how to act around the other if they weren't being one hundred percent honest and spitting the truth of their emotions and actions back and fourth. And so, L quickly looked away.

"I guess I should go."

"Yeah…you uh…only have a few hours before the party."

"Mmm hmm." Neither man could face the other, the pain of parting too great. And so, L turned away entirely then and took a few steps toward the exit. But he couldn't seem to leave without saying at least something. And so he stopped. Back still to the cell his love was being held in, he whispered,

"Bye…my anata." Light's caramel eyes widened and a great wave of heat washed over his face. He just knew that he was probably redder than he'd ever been before in his life.

"A…a…anata?" It was a term in Japanese that L really hadn't used entirely properly. But Light could guess to as why. It was equivalent to something like "dear" or "sweetie" in English, or another term of endearment. But the problem was that it was usually reserved for a wife to say to a husband. Light immediately wondered if L had been thinking about marriage more than he would have admitted to himself. L turned his head slowly, his dark rimmed eyes glancing over his white shirt's shoulder.

"Hi…anata. It's…the closest thing in Japanese I could think of. There are no proper terms to use…other than…" Light understood then, even as L was unable to finish his explanation due to the pinkish coloring rising to his own pale cheeks. It was true. The Japanese weren't big on saying things like that to one another; especially before marriage. But…somehow…it was cute. Light decided he liked it, and a small, embarrassed smile quickly took over his lips.

"So…does this mean you're the girl in our relationship?" Light joked. L snorted.

"You know better than that Raito." Light's smile slipped.

"Hey! _I'm _not the girl! You're always on bottom!"

"I never said you were a girl. I've believed from the start that we're simply…ourselves. And I take the bottom willingly. I like it, and it gives me more of a position of control than the top. So don't let a term like 'anata' go to your head."

Light blinked, his eyes wide with surprise. _How does the bottom have more control than the top?_ His mind started to wrap itself around that one. But before he could really get going with it, L turned to James to get ready to leave.

James had blessedly been silent the entire time, a major accomplishment for the blabbermouth. But when Light saw his face, he understood why. The man was in absolute tears. His brown Italian eyes were huge, big fat water droplet's rolling down his face and past his trembling, fat, bottom lip. Both L and Light let out short chopped laughs. Clearly, he was focused on the more sensitive things that had taken place before L and Light's jokes.

"Come on James…take me home," L requested gently. James nodded numbly, tears still flowing out of his eyes. Silently, he turned and followed L down the hall and toward the front office. Light watched him go, his heart longing for him to stay with every beat it gave. But he couldn't ask him to. L had a party to attend.

"Happy birthday…anata…"


	18. The Party

Author's Note: I apologize for the long delay. Life, as it has been for the past two years or so, is continuing to throw me curve ball after curve ball. I was juggling two jobs, lost one, now I have one sales job which I _hate **hate HATE**_! Did I mention I hate that job? So I've been spending every moment I have looking for _anything_ else. And of course, I must also spend much of my time with my much beloved who I dare not neglect no matter what's going on. As a result, I've had very little time to write much of anything. But do not fear! As I always promise, and the promise is the same, I'll never stop writing. So be patient, and there will always be another chapter until this story is completed. And so, without further ado, chapter 18 everyone!

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"You look so _awesome!_" James cried. But L did not feel awesome. He felt ridiculous. He was sure that he looked absolutely idiotic. When he'd picked out this costume, it had gone along with Lights, so it had made sense. But now…going by himself to the Halloween party…he felt the costume was simply silly looking.

He stood in the master bedroom just in front of the full-length mirror that Light had bought for himself. L had never a need to use the mirror before, but now it was helpful for his costume. James stood just behind L's shoulder, staring excitingly and with wide eyes at the final result of the past hour of their preparations.

James, feeling left out, had dressed up as a cowboy. He said he couldn't go to a costume party without a costume or it would be suspicious. And this particular costume would allow him to carry his guns. He'd tell people that his weapons were empty of course. And of course, they worked out a story of James being a friend of L's from college who was in town for the holiday. But L on the other hand…was dressed as a raven.

You know, that type of bird.

The one that looks like a crow only much bigger.

L felt stupid.

In all honestly, it was a brilliant costume. And it wasn't even that complicated. He had on black strap-on sandals, the kind that lace upward in crisscross patterns. With his toes showing and bare, it not only accounted for his disability, but also gave the illusion that he had clawed bird's feet. Then, moving up, he was in a pair of black leather pants. It would at least keep him warm on the chilly Halloween night. Above that, he was wearing a skin tight black tee-shirt. And on top of that was a nicely stylized, short black coat. Surrounding its hem, just on top and near the back where a hood would be if it had one, was an array of large, long, black feathers. They branched outward, giving the illusion of wings. Of course, L was also wearing a pair of actual, small black wings. They poked out of two holes that had been made in his jacket. That along with the feathers on the rim of the jacket made it look almost as if he had four wings. Then of course, his naturally wild black hair was hardly touched, since it normally looked as if it were made of feathers anyway. But, as a last minute touch, a few real feathers had been weaved in to L's thick locks. And last but not least, L's naturally dark eyes had been enhanced with deep black make-up, painted all the way around his lashes. L looked smashing.

But of course…he felt stupid. Despite all of James's compliments and excited banter over it all, he just felt absurd dressed as a raven without his matching partner. Light, originally planned, was going to go as Edgar Allen Poe. L remembered crooning over his early American gentlemen type of costume. Light, as L had suspected, looked very _very_ good in nineteenth century American gentlemen clothing. It was right up his alley after all. He got to wear a suit and tie. Well…a bow tie. Which L had loved. He'd looked simply marvelous, and with the two of them standing together, L had liked the idea very much. He'd agreed that it was clever. With Light at his side, L was "The Raven." But now, standing all alone, looking at himself in the mirror like this, with goofy, excited, cowboy James at his side…L felt like he was just some dumb bird. He inhaled, then let his air rush out through his nose slowly in a depressing sigh. His shoulders slumped, making his wings droop.

"Aw, come on!" James ebbed. "It'll be great! I promise! I promise you'll have a fantastic time, even without Light. Really truly!" L sighed again, this time a disgruntled groan coming up from out of the back of his throat. James, as always, was the most annoying man ever to buzz around his ears when he was in a foul mood. Well…maybe Matsuda was. James was frightfully similar to the once upbeat Japanese police man. If they didn't look so drastically different, L dared to think they may have been related somehow. At least James didn't seem as stupid.

"I know I promised Raito, but…I'm having second thoughts," L muttered miserably.

"Come on Lawliet! You look _awesome!_ Really you do, everyone will love you. Besides, I bet all your friends from town are expecting you to be there. Even if Light's in jail, won't it be nice to see Katie? And what about Casey and Marge? Hmm? I think Byte's going too. Light told me he was invited, and he also told me that you and Byte get along. You haven't seen him in a while, have you?" L shook his head negatively.

"You see! And aren't you curious to see what all your friends dressed up as? Maybe Katie's a big ice-cream cone! Haha!" L groaned a second time, and looked away from the mirror and off to the side. How could James possibly be more annoying?

"That joke was…horrible." But James only laughed. He didn't seem to care how bad his jokes were.

"Come on, come on! We should hurry! The party starts in half an hour! We want to be on time!" Of course, L had been given a different time from the rest of the town. The entire rest of the town people had been gathered at Town Hall for about an hour. They had to arrive early to prepare everything for L's surprise party. But L was under the impression that the party started at seven.

L sighed once again, then glanced himself in the mirror. _Ok…maybe I don't look so bad after all._ He tried to stand up straight, succeeding to a degree, then brushed off some loose flakes from the hair product he'd used.

"I promised Raito, so I'll go." He turned to James. "Let's be off."

James had driven them into town. It was true that they could have walked, most everything was in walking distance after all; but to save time, and comfort, they had taken the car. The last night of October was frigid. Even the short distance to the car had been uncomfortable. Even in a rather warm jacket and leather pants L had felt the bite of the cold winter air that was blowing in. He knew very well that they'd be experiencing their first snow within the next month. Probably by Thanksgiving. Even sitting in the car didn't help for some time. The secret service car lent to James took a while to get the heat going. And the drive was so short, that L had just started to feel the air blasting through the vents warming up, when they arrived.

James turned off the car. The Town Hall before them was brightly lit. The windows glowed a warm and welcoming yellow. It spilled out of the large, long windows and out into the deep darkness of night. The sun set early now that daylight savings time had occurred. As a result, the depth of the night preyed upon the small town much more quickly than usual. Even so, the night was thicker than it normally was. L noted the deep, opaque, clouds starting to swirl up above. If they decided to release their load, it would come in the form of snow, not rain. It was already thirty degrees, and the sun had just gone down. It would get colder before the night was over.

_Maybe that snow will come earlier than I thought._ It certainly would mark an early drop for the year, even upstate New York.

James opened his door and L followed suit. The two men stepped out into the ever cooling Halloween night. Closing the doors behind them, they could distinctly hear music coming from inside. It seemed as if the party had already started.

"Brr! Let's get inside before your toes freeze!" L had hardly noticed his cold feet until James pointed it out. He'd been too busy taking in the size of the Town Hall. It seemed big and ominous for some reason, which was ridiculous really. L had been in much bigger buildings than this. In this tiny town, the Hall was only three stories high. L himself had worked in eighty story buildings. He'd worked in hotels, offices of grand proportions. But standing there in the dark of night, absent from the warmth the glow inside promised, without his partner…the building somehow seemed much more foreboding.

L didn't want to go in. He didn't want to fake his way through the evening. He didn't want to pretend to smile, or exchange pleasantries. He didn't want to socialize or let his friends see him in this stupid costume. He wanted…to go back to jail. _I promised._ He thought to himself. _I promised Raito. Raito had practically begged me. He wants me to go inside. He wants me to at least try…_ And that was what gave him the courage to move forward with James toward the door. He would indeed try to have fun. He would try to smile and be happy. If only it would bring Light a little bit of joy while he was locked away.

"I'm ready."

"Yeah!" As they moved up the dark walkway, L noticed someone standing up ahead by the front doors. When that somebody saw James and L approaching, he immediately ran inside. L blinked. _How odd. He didn't say anything…no greeting?_ And then, only a second later, he heard the music that had been playing inside stop. This was also very puzzling. Why would they turn the music off? Were they doing some sort of event now? A party game perhaps?

L looked to James. He was grinning from ear to ear. L immediately recognized the expression on his face. James knew something L didn't. And he was hiding it from him. But judging from the look he wore…L knew whatever it was, was a good thing. Whatever was happening, L didn't have to worry.

They reached the front doors. L's apprehension and curiosity grew. Just inside, he knew was the main hall where the party was located. James seemed almost as if he were containing giggles. _Like a schoolboy._ L thought.

"You go in first Lawliet," James said. Smiling wildly, he stepped aside, giving L easy access to the heavy, wooden, front doors. L analyzed him for only a moment. Yes, whatever it was, was a good thing. James was excited. But L still didn't know what was taking place. Not because he'd lost his touch, but because he'd never been thrown a party before. It was the last thing he'd ever expect.

And so, his heart beating a little faster now, and feeling a bit of excitement himself, simply at the mystery of it, L reached out, grabbing onto the two large, brass door handles. Being small, and the doors being heavy, he had to give them a good hard jerk to open them up. But he managed, and both doors swung outward. L stepped inside and…

"SURPRISE!"

L literally jumped from the loud noise. Everyone had shouted all at once, simultaneously. And some had blown noise makers. And someone popped a large balloon that had been up top by the ceiling, releasing confetti into the air. L gaped at the sight before him. His mouth hung open, his eyes becoming as large as they once were.

There everyone was, the entire town: Mister Green from the bakery, and Casey and Marge from the grocery store, all of the cashiers and baggers too. There Katie stood…dressed as an ice cream cone like James predicted. And there was Byte from Comp Inc, dressed like C3PO from Star Wars. L suppressed a snort at the pair's costumes. It suited them both. But there was more to take in, and L saw Emily, the florist, and Jake from the pawn shop, David, the pizza delivery boy and his boss Vinnie. The entire town stood in the center of the very large hall; at least a fourth of the three thousand fifty seven residents.

The Town Hall had been decorated. Streamers twisted and spiraled from the center of the room out toward the edges. Pumpkins, witches, and black cat cut outs were taped to the walls. Punch and snack tables were set up around the perimeter. There was a DJ and a stage set up near the back with colored lights. Orange and black balloons hung from the ceiling and also stood as center pieces on most of the tables where people would sit to eat.

And in the very center of the room, the townspeople surrounding it, was another table. This one had a cake on it; a very large, delicious looking strawberry swirl cheesecake. It had to have been one of 's best. And on it, along with a pumpkin, were written letters reading "Happy Birthday Lawliet." The candles on top of it were lit, and already dripping wax down their sides. Everyone, dressed in different costumes, were also wearing the usual silly paper cone birthday hats.

L was overtaken. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He'd lost his voice as he stared at the surreal scene before him. He knew immediately, that Light had set this entire thing up. He had probably been planning it for weeks. He had to have collaborated with the entire town. And he would have had to keep it secret until the last possible second. He'd done this for him. He'd given him his birthday.

It was finally Katie, in her ridiculous giant strawberry ice-cream cone costume that said something.

"He's in shock!" The crowd laughed and chuckled. L stared at them all. All of them were smiling. They seemed so happy to have done this for him. They were excited. Their faces shone in the light from the candles and the DJ's colored strobes.

"Well Lawliet? Come on! Say something!" Marge called. L found his heart was sending beats of warmth throughout his body. His hands trembled briefly. And in a second more…he found himself fighting tears. He blinked them back rapidly, ignoring the dark make-up he and James had put around his eyes.

"Happy Birthday Lawliet!" Someone else shouted.

"Yeah! It's your birthday! We're glad you made it out of the hospital in time! So say something!" That was right. All of these people knew what he was going through. They had been there when he'd been poisoned. Marge had held him in her arms when he thought he'd been dying. Casey had called the police and Light to come hurry. And even though the girls had been gone, several of these young men standing here had gone to chase after them. They knew he'd been hospitalized. They knew it was probably Sheryl, a crazed lunatic that had done this. They knew Light had lost his mind with grief and had beaten her senseless. They knew he was now in jail. They knew he was all alone without him.

These people weren't strangers. They had accepted Light and L into their little town, into their homes just over a year ago. They accepted them despite their oddities, despite their shrouded past. They had not become hostile or hateful when they learned they were gay. They hadn't shunned them or disapproved. They had instead opened their arms and received them. L had become a favorite customer in many of their shops. Light was popular at the beauty salon where he got his bi-weekly haircuts. They had friends here.

L was not alone. Despite what he'd been thinking and feeling all along. He was not alone. These people cared for him. And they wanted to support him. That's what being in a small town was all about. As James said, these people were his friends.

L's pale lips quivered, then began to curve upward. The little grin grew, blooming like a dried flower given fresh water, until it was a large and brimming smile. L's eyes crinkled shut and his face began to shine like the sun.

"Thank you." And those two words were really all he could muster. It meant so much that he could hardly say anything else. The crowd laughed again.

"That's so like Lawliet! Straight and to the point!"

"Hurry up man! Blow out your candles before the cake is nothing but wax!" L obeyed, hurrying forward to meet the crowd that had so generously adopted him into their lives. He stood before it. And of course, he already had a wish in mind and didn't need to think twice about it. He inhaled deeply, then leaned forward and quickly blew out all thirty candles.

The crowd erupted into cheers and claps. The cake was quickly preened of its candles, and Mister Green did the honors of cutting it. On paper plates and with paper napkins, he began passing them around to the people in the crowd.

"I have a second cake! Don't worry! Everyone will get some," Mister Green called over the grabbing hands. He turned to L, smiling brightly through his red beard. "And happy thirtieth Lawliet. Do you feel like an old man yet?" He laughed hardily. L's smile only grew, infecting the rest of his face and body. He could not recall the last time he'd been so happy.

"Old? I'm afraid to say that I feel younger than ever!" And it was the truth. He'd always felt old before. When he'd been L, working on his cases, bearing all of the weight and brunt and horror of the world…then he had felt old. Now, however, now that he was with Light, he felt young, alive, free. Light's youth, he thought, must have infected him. He didn't feel thirty at all. He felt more like he were floating.

Mister Green laughed again, then slapped L on his back just between his wings. L flinched lightly from the sudden contact, but quickly recovered with a grin.

"You certainly don't look it!" Mister Green said. "Especially in that costume! You look like some punk kid to me!" L chuckled, happily receiving his piece of cake as handed it to him. It was at this moment that James felt the need to plow into L's side to reach for a slice of his own.

"Hey! Don't forget me! I'd like a piece!" L sighed and rolled his eyes.

"This is an old college friend of mine. He's in town for the party and probably for a few weeks after. James, this is Mister Green."

"Pleasure to meet you." James said it only briefly, then immediately began reaching for another out of reach piece of cake. Mister Green, laughing seemingly all the time, handed the poor cowboy a slice. L took a bite of his own during the commotion and his face immediately lit up with delight.

"This…has got to be your best cheesecake to date!"

"Why thank you Lawliet! I did my best on it. I knew it would be your birthday cake after all. I was the only one in town who knew before hand that this shin-dig was happening because I needed time to bake it. Light didn't tell anyone else in order to keep you from finding out. Once he was arrested, it was up to me to inform everyone once they got here. They sure were excited when they found out though."

L smiled to himself as he took another forkful of cake. These people…were so warm. He was sure he loved them all.


	19. Kira

Author's Note: This chapter is very long. You might want to take a breath or two before you start. And get a snack too.

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The party progressed like a rapid, swirling storm. Things moved so quickly, and there was so much happening that L could hardly keep things straight. Everyone wanted a bit of his time. And after the cake was finished, the table was cleared away so that the DJ could continue playing his Halloween soundtrack. People went their own way, deciding to either dance, sit at a table, eat, or converse at the sides of the Hall. L was yanked from one person to the next, answering questions, or simply shooting the breeze. He had never really been social before, but now…it was easy. Everyone was wishing him well, wishing him a happy birthday, wishing him luck in his hard times, and offering him their services.

"If there's anything we can do for you," they said.

"Our house is always open," they said.

"Let us know if we can lend a hand."

L was overwhelmed by their generosity. Their kindness was too much, yet he ate it up like chocolate cake. Eventually, after he made it through most of the rounds with the townspeople, he found Byte. The golden android grabbed onto his arm, yanking him aside near one of the many punch tables.

"Man! I finally gotta hold on you! You're _waaay_ too popular tonight dude!" L smiled and laughed, his dark eyes crinkling shut for what must have been the two hundredth time in the past hour or so. Byte smiled too, simply at seeing such an expression.

"Well! I was gunna ask how you were doing, but I guess I don't have too! I don't think I've ever seen you this happy." But at that, L's smile quickly vanished, his face clouding up like the sky outside. At Byte's comment, he felt guilt creep in. He didn't want to be having too much fun without Light. He didn't want to be absorbedly happy without him at his side.

"Well no, I…haven't been that happy…" Byte studied the new-found thirty year old in front of him. The teenager was, as described earlier, a prodigy for his young age. He sure as hell didn't look like it; with his skin painted gold and with metal plates attached to him, in fact he appeared more like a sci-fi convention going teenager, but the point was, underneath that, he knew a bit more, and saw a bit more than he let on.

"Don't do that man," he quickly chastised. "Don't do something as stupid as trying to make yourself miserable just because Light isn't here. He sent you here, didn't he? He set this whole doo-dad up for you, didn't he? He did this all for you. So don't waste it. Don't hide the fact that you're having a good time. You're a genius, stupid. Don't pretend like you don't know Light wants you to have as good a time as possible."

L's dark eyes widened a bit as he stared at the youth. Byte was dead-on. And more than that, he expressed what L was thinking almost exactly word for word. Well…not exactly word for word. He had his own speech patterns after all.

L had met the youth that Light worked with a few times before. But the encounters had been brief. Pleasantries and polite 'hello's' and 'how are you's' were exchanged. There was brief discussion about computers. But that had been all. L had decided he'd liked Byte, even from such simple brushes with one another, but he'd never known exactly how intelligent he was.

"Byte," L said. "Have you ever considered being a detective?" Byte wrinkled his nose.

"Huh?" A small, wistful smile played briefly across L's lips as he quickly looked away from the youth and to the side.

"Nothing. You're love for machines and computers no doubt rules your life as much as your heart." Byte quickly snickered.

"Phht. Now you're getting sappy on me…even if it is true…" he said under his breath. "But forget about my obsession with computers for a second, I came over here to see about you, dude." Byte, very characteristically went to put his metal clad arm around the raven's shoulder. L, also very characteristically, smoothly, slid aside, evading the maneuver. Byte's arm fell around nothing but air. Pretending as if nothing had happened, he faced his conversationalist with a metallic smile.

"So, did you like the surprise? Pretty cool shit…err…stuff! Pretty cool stuff, huh?" L let out a quick, sharp laugh. It was funny to him that Byte thought he had to watch his mouth in front of him. L may have spoken politely almost at all times, but it certainly didn't mean he'd be offended by others using their regular language.

"Yes Byte, it's pretty cool _stuff_," L chuckled again at the feel of such a foreign phrase leaving his own lips. "I was very happy. I'm grateful to everyone here. I can't recall a better birthday. The only way this could be better…is if Raito were present…" Byte noted the lonely tones in L's last few words. But he knew the newly made thirty year old would be just fine. His college friend was in town watching over him after all. Byte wondered if Light had called James in to watch L for him.

Suddenly, a huge, strawberry ice-cream cone ran up to the two. Katie looked even more ridiculous up-close than she did far away. Her pretty face was hidden beneath the scoop of plastic ice-cream. There were two, huge, cartoonish, eyes made of a screen like material that she was looking through. And a fake, painted smile with red red lips made up the monstrosities face.

L quickly covered his mouth to try and suppress the laugh that burst out, but it was far too powerful and sudden. A horrid snort was the result. The strawberry cartoon cone turned to him, the happy painted face grinning, despite the two arms that came out of its side and placed themselves on Katie's hips which resided inside the brown cone.

"You can make fun of me later. I ran over here to warn you guys." L's chuckle died away as both the raven and C3PO turned to look at the ice-cream cone more seriously.

"What do you mean? Warn us? This is a birthday party sugar!" Katie completely ignored Byte's little metaphor as she faced L.

"One of the Jersley brother's is here. Greg, the oldest one I think. I glimpsed him near the DJ table. I have no idea what he's doing here. Clearly they weren't invited. I didn't see any of the rest of the family, so why he would come alone is weird. I thought I should tell you." L's face became instantly grim.

"Yes…thank you Katie."

The Jersley family was the one bad apple in a good bunch. They might as well have created that old classic phrase. As far as L was concerned, this little town was perfect…with exception of the Jersley family. They lived on the outskirts of the little town in one of the very original houses built in the area. It had been handed down from generation to generation. As such, they would never move, even if the town around them had evolved, grown, and changed its attitude toward a few things: like discrimination. The family was hard-core, and old fashioned. They hated pretty much anybody who wasn't just like them. They hated out-of-towners, blacks, Asians, Hispanics, any one religious, Native Americans, Italians, Germans, the Irish, and anyone else on the face of the planet who basically, wasn't exactly like they were.

Obviously, they weren't too happy with L and Light either. L recalled the one and only encounter he and Light had with the family about at the time they had moved in. They had gone out exploring in their new habitat, and had made the mistake of crossing town and wandering down the northern most road. The Jersley family of five, Walter the father, Ethel the mother, Greg the oldest son, John the middle son, and Hank the youngest, had been infuriated. They'd come out of their house screaming about Satan and violation. Horrendous things had left their lips. Things that L would not even dare repeat in his thoughts. And, as any such strictly old-fashioned family, the father had a shot-gun. It seemed so stereotypical to L at the time, but after the fear of being shot at had worn off, he understood the sense behind it. With a family like that…a shotgun was the best weapon to shoo off offending trespassers. The Jersley's didn't want their property tainted after all.

The family had been outcasts to the town even before Light and L had moved in, why? Because the people here were good, obviously. The Jersley's ways weren't accepted by the rest. But it wouldn't make the family move away from a house that had been in their bloodline for more than five generations. So, they mainly kept to themselves and usually didn't bother anyone. They came into town for groceries and other such things, but none of them worked there. As such, L and Light hadn't run into them since. It was lucky enough, for L wasn't sure what would occur if a confrontation arose in a public place.

But…here the fear was, now a reality. Greg, the eldest son of twenty-seven years, was here. The young man was a wrestler. And he was big. And L could think of very little reason to as why he would be lurking around the town Halloween party, and L's birthday party, unless he were looking for a very specific kind of trouble.

L turned then to find James, and was startled to see that the cowboy was standing right behind him. The bodyguard had a stern face on. L knew he had heard everything and that there was no need to explain. James, of course, didn't know the entire story, but he didn't need too. He only had one purpose, and he now knew where the threat was.

"I'll go kick him out," he said quite simply. He didn't wait for anyone to object, and no one did. Surely there was no need to ask permission from someone after all. The family had already been forbidden from the event. And so, James slipped away, disappearing expertly into the crowd. L had to say, he was impressed when he witnessed the disappearing act. For all of James goofiness and sunshine, he seemed to really know how to get down to business when he was needed. L immediately felt more at ease. James had a gun hidden away, and he was specially trained. L knew his skills were more than what he appeared. To even be hand-picked for the secret services…he had to have been really good. L looked back to his friends.

"James is an ex-marine, he'll take care of it," he said. Katie and Byte seemed to relax a bit after that too.

"Well good. We don't need someone like Greg lurking around," Katie said. She let out a quick sigh. "Come on, let's go get some drinks. I'm roasting in this stupid thing." Byte and L immediately chuckled. Now that the threat was gone, their attention was immediately drawn back to the ridiculousness of Katie's costume.

"Come on Lawliet! You grab her head, and I'll shove the drinks down her hatch! It'll be hysterical!"

"Don't you fucking dare!" The ice cream cone pointed a dooming brown finger C3PO's way, but of course…this only made things funnier.

"Katie, you look so ridiculous!"

"I don't care! I _love_ ice-cream! And my job! Besides, _you_ look like a big golden trash can!" She slapped Byte upside his head, causing his golden hair spray to explode sparkles and glitter off to the side.

"Hey! It took me forever to make myself gold!"

"The only one of us who looks _good_ is Lawliet." L quickly lifted his hands defensively, smiling nervously and also blushing at the same time.

"Now now…everyone here did a great job on their costumes."

"Katie didn't!" Byte immediately argued. "She _bought_ hers."

"I can't sew! Besides, all you did was hot glue yours together!" Byte gasped as if he's been slapped in the face.

"It is molded carefully with an array of metal work and blow-torch talent, thank you!"

"Yeah, and epoxy." Katie pointed to a joint which clearly had been connected with such means. Byte immediately put a hand over it as if this could hide the fact that it had already been seen.

"Sh…shut up!" L couldn't contain himself, he started to laugh. The two of them sure were something. He knew from years of experience and from being able to recognize human behavior that the two young teens fancied one another. They were the same age after all. And from what he understood, a lot of young relationships started this way. There was teasing involved, there were forms of testing one another. They would poke and prod simply for attention. And they might do things they knew weren't kind, just to get a rise out of the other. It would only be some time later that they would realize that their feelings of animosity and annoyance weren't actually hatred at all…but a form of love and attraction.

…

L stopped in his thought process then. All that he had just described…he and Light had done all of those things. The only difference was that he and Light had taken it to the utmost extremes because of their natures, because of their goals and because of their stubbornness. They had acted…just like these kids. They had acted like children themselves.

L felt a bittersweet feeling overtake him then. His heart yearned for his partners return. But at the same time…he felt a warmth watching Katie and Byte argue. They reminded him…much of the way he and Light used to be. He did not miss those early days. But the memories were still fond, simply because it had all turned out all right in the end. He remembered the shouting matches, the late night brawls in the kitchen. He remembered the games they would play, the intricate mind-games. Who was best? Who would be even better? _Can you keep up with me, when no one else in all the world could before you? Can you play by my rules? Will you make your own? Can I play by the new rules you have created? Can you catch me? Can I catch you? _

L realized that even back then…he had loved the attention. He loved the chase. He loved being chased. He had never received such attention from someone before. And now…looking back at it, it seemed inevitable that he and Light would have fallen in love. Who else would dare try and harness him?

Feeling suddenly very wistful and lonely, L found the room loud and tiring. He'd never been much for parties to begin with. The very definition of the word 'introvert,' L found himself needing a break from the hustle and bustle. The Halloween music pounded and beat from the base of the DJ table. It travelled through his feet and into his chest where he could feel every beat, as if the deep booming vibration were forcing his heart to beat along with the tune, even if it didn't want to.

The multitude of voices had become a dull roar in the background. And Katie and Byte were far too into their argument and each other to possibly give L any attention now. Knowing they would not miss him, L told them he'd be going to the restroom, and then stepped away. Maybe just a few minutes alone to recover, then he'd come back out and find James to see what was done with Greg.

L headed for one of the many doors of the Hall that would lead out from the main room and into…well…one of the many halls of the Hall. He stepped out and the door closed behind him.

Almost immediately the noise of the party was muffled. He could still hear the beat of the music, of course, but it was tolerable. He took a moment to inhale and sigh. He felt better.

Standing up as straight as he could, L observed his surroundings. The Town Hall was used for many orders of business. This particular wing seemed to contain many of the offices the officials used. Their doors were closed of course, and probably locked because of the party and public use of the main hall. The overhead lights were off, and now only the emergency glow of the backlights were on at the end of each hall.

As in most usually busy places, it was creepy with no people around. But L had been in many large buildings all alone before. He'd worked the nights away with all the lights off and with no other soul but Watari, who was usually in another room. Because of his experience in such places, he wasn't as apprehensive as another might have been in his same situation. He knew there was nothing to fear in the shadows of the long hallway. There was nothing there. Nothing at all. And it was the nothingness that he used to hate so much.

"What a lonely existence I once had…" His quiet and softly spoken truth seemed loud in the empty, desolate hallway, even with the pounding of the base at the door at his wings. L wondered briefly, how he had ever done it. How could he have possibly lived the way he had? With no one. With nothing. Nothing but his swirling mind and endless data to filter and process.

_I knew nothing else._ He answered himself. Now he knew better. He knew lots of things now. The kindness in complete strangers that he had never before been able to see. The gentle gestures that friends could make. The lift to ones spirit that simple laugher could bring. The value of a smile, a joke, a whimsical slip of the tongue. All things he had once never known.

And of course...the great power of simple touch. This particular truth was different from the others. For L had known the power of touch before. He'd known it in its darkest, cruelest form. L had understood just how badly it could hurt, the damage it could do to a human being. He knew how touch could destroy lives, how it could smash families, couples, friends and relationships to pieces. Touch had the power to cripple his very soul. He once thought that he wouldn't survive if he were touched again. Touch…had once been a thing to fear. He'd feared it almost as much as the nothingness. But now things had changed.

Now he knew better. He knew what touch was really for now. He knew the power it had on the other side of the spectrum. He knew that as much as it could hurt…it could also comfort. As much as it destroyed…it could also fix. As much as it could bring pain and agony…it could also soothe and heal. There was kindness in touch. There was importance in it. And as much as L had once feared it…he had also craved it. Not knowing what it was that he was lacking back then, he now knew how devastating his situation had once been. To never receive such a…_necessary_ human thing…well…it brought him back to wondering how he had survived. Now, it was one of the few things that could truly fill him up inside.

L found a small smile creep onto his face. He shook his head lightly. He had never dreamed that he could attain such a normal life. Of course, it wasn't entirely normal; he and Light had a secret service to assist them, they still had huge secrets to keep, but it was much more normal than anything L ever would have dared dream of. And once Light was released from jail and Sheryl was arrested for her crime, things would go back to the way they were.

L chuckled out loud a bit at that. He was starting to sound like James with such optimism. Still…L decided…that maybe he liked it.

Feeling much better, L thought he should go back to the party. It was his party after all, and he would be missed if he was gone for too long. So he turned to put his hand on the handle.

"Wait." L's small body jerked, his heart leaping into his throat when he heard the voice come from behind him. It hadn't been loud. In fact, it had been rather soft. But he had thought he was alone. Any sound at all would have startled him. Frightened, he whirled around to face the ghost that had managed to elude his gaze.

At first, he didn't see anything. The shadows in the hall were thick and they went deep. But clearly someone was there. His heart pounded at the thought that someone had been standing in the corners the entire time, watching him, listening to his sometimes outward thoughts. The idea in itself was unsettling. L took a moment to collect himself. He needed to turn his brain on.

_That's right, think._ Thinking solved most problems. And the moment L gave it any thought at all, he realized who the stalker had to be.

"Since a partygoer who was invited to the Hall wouldn't be slinking around back hallways, I'm going to assume that it's you Greg." There was no other suspect. The voice had been male, and Sheryl was incapacitated at the hospital. Anyone else wouldn't have hidden themselves.

"Very good. But not what I expected in the least." The man stepped out from the darkest corner, finally revealing himself to the raven. It was indeed Greg Jersley. He was just as big as L remembered. Clearly the young man was still wrestling for a living. L knew that even though his own fighting style of capoeira was a good defense, he could not win offensively against Greg. Copoeira was designed mainly for excellent evasion. L could be quick, agile and somewhat acrobatic, but he lacked the strength and brute force to compete with a wrestler offensively. Plus, he'd been out of practice since he'd come to America.

The eldest Jersley brother smiled in a crooked way, revealing his crooked, tar stained teeth. He was a smoker. L tried not to discriminate, but he really hated smokers. He was sure this was mainly due to Webber having been one, but Greg didn't help the smoker's case by being such an ass himself. L wondered if he'd met any kind smokers at all. Did the nicotine and the other four hundred toxins found in most brands scramble their ability to be kind along with their brains?

…No. Of course not. After all, Marge from the grocery store was a smoker.

"I expected you to know I was in this hall the moment you stepped into it. No…you should have known before you stepped into it. You should have known that this was where I'd be. And you would have come anyway…no doubt with a plan in mind to stop me." L blinked lightly at his antaganizer. It was strange to hear him say something like that. In fact…this entire situation was very strange. Greg, like most of the Jersley family, wasn't the type to stand around and talk to someone they disapproved of. The first reaction of the father was to pull out a gun and start shooting while the whole family shouted at them. L was sure Greg was the type to lie in wait, and then pounce immediately when his target was in view. Why would he come out to chat? Moreover, Greg was speaking as if he knew L. As if he knew he was a genius. A genius that should have preconceived his every move before he'd even acted. L supposed he could have learned from the town chatter and the usual grape-vine discussions that L was indeed a genius, but why this would make him think he knew how intelligent L was didn't make any sense. Greg wasn't all that smart. Neither were any of the Jersley's for that matter. So for him to come up with something like this was startling.

L squinted at the wrestler, a look of confusion on his features. Greg immediately burst into laughter. He threw back his head in a certain way that seemed oddly familiar to L. The laugh that came out of his mouth was full of glee, full of victory, as if he had won some contest. It was dark…sadistic. It sent a sudden chill up L's spine. The sound was also familiar. L flinched and stepped back just a fraction of an inch. But Greg still hadn't missed it. He focused his grinning, blue eyes L's way, his dark brown hair falling across his brow.

"I never thought I'd be privileged to see such a confused, lost expression on _your_ face." He took one small step forward. L dared not move. He was growing more uneasy with every given second. Greg was acting like a deranged lunatic. And L felt more and more like he had dealt with this exact type of thing before. Why couldn't he remember?

"Oh look at you!" Greg let out a pleased little hum of sorts. "You're so confused! You still have no idea what's happening, do you? That genius brain of yours can't run properly without your sugary sweets, can it? It can't run without the isolation and the treated environment that you're so used too?" L's confusion grew. His fear did too. How would Greg know about his old sugar addiction? Did someone close to Light speak to him about their private life? Had they been betrayed? L took another step back, back toward the door he had come from.

"What do you want Greg?" It was a demand. L's voice had power behind it. He called it up from the depths within himself. He tried to call up on L. Lawliet was just a man, a full-hearted, loving man. And Lawliet couldn't handle this situation alone. He was scared. Lawliet needed L. But L…L had been shunned. L had been locked away. Lawliet…didn't really want to be L anymore. And so…he found it difficult, and nearly impossible to revert back to what he once was. He used to be able to switch back and forth when they'd first moved to America, but not anymore. Lawliet had found out who he truly wanted to be. And he had embraced that with all that he was worth, forgetting all the rest. He wasn't a detective anymore. He wasn't even sure if he was genius. He sure didn't feel like a genius. Something was screaming at him from the back of his brain, screaming desperately to be heard. It nagged and pulled and yanked. But L couldn't unlock it. He didn't know how he knew Greg. Why he felt so familiar, why he was growing so frightened. Greg burst out laughing yet again when L asked what he wanted.

"Oh! You called me Greg! That's so _sweet_!" Suddenly, and with no warning at all, Greg lunged. He had only been a few feet away. L had barely the time to turn back toward the door. He grabbed the handle and tried to push the door in to open it, but to his utter and complete dismay…it didn't budge.

Greg landed on top of him with a BOOM! He slammed his hands up against the metal door, one on each side of L's body. L jumped from the explosion of sound, then whirled around to face Greg only to find his nose mere centimeters from his attackers. He was trapped. He stood stiffly, shoulders tense and up against the door. His black wings were no doubt being crushed by the sheer force. Technically, Greg wasn't holding him. But he might as well have been. With each arm on either side of L's body and his face so close…L felt as if he couldn't move. And if he did, where would he go? If he ducked downward…Greg would be able to grab him in a heartbeat. The two men started at each other, L's eyes wide, his heart pounding. Greg's thin lips twisted and wound their way upward into a sadistic, arrogant grin as his warm breath washed over L's stunned face.

"This door only opens one way," he said softly. "I would have expected you to know that. Even if I wasn't here, you would have locked yourself out. Isn't that laughable?" Greg chuckled softly in the back of his throat. That pleased, victorious laugh. L's heart faltered. He knew that laugh. He knew it. It sounded like something from out of his nightmares. He broke out into a sudden sweat. He curled his pale hands into fists that began to tremble. This feeling…was so familiar.

"Oh God L, you're even more fun now that you're a fucking pansy than you were when you were a straight edged detective!" L let out a gasp of shock. He felt the blood run from his face and plummet into his feet. His stomach leapt into his throat as if he were falling from a great height. Greg…Greg knew his real name. He knew he was L. He knew…he must have known everything. L's heart was racing so fast, he felt so cold and so terrified that he simply couldn't think. What was happening?

"Come on now. After that huge hint, tell me you still have no idea what's going on. Please?" Greg chuckled again, clearly very pleased with himself. He very much enjoyed every second of the torment he was bringing upon his stunned victim. The pleasure in his face was unmistakable. He was drunk with power. It was a face…L knew. A face he saw in his dreams.

Greg's sadistic laughter continued the more he watched L's face contort and change from confusion to fear, to terror. He was sickly grey now with horror, with the horror of knowing his precious secret was out. Greg was eating up his expressions like candy.

"Oh this is glorious! Look at all of these faces you have now! Not a stone, not a blank wall! I can read you like a book now," he chuckled. "Oh you've become such a precious little fag!" Greg lifted one of his hands then, bringing it forward as if to stroke L's face tenderly. L reacted immediately as if a trigger were pulled. His body jerked, and then he shoved Greg roughly, as hard as he could back and away from himself. It worked and Greg stumbled a couple of feet. L immediately took the chance. He turned and bolted down the dark hallway. But Greg seemed plenty prepared for this. He called out after him casually.

"L! You might want to consider stopping, or I could tell everyone your secret!" L slowed down at first to a jog. Then to a walk. Then, halfway down the hall, he stopped. Greg knew their secret. He knew L was L Lawliet, the once great detective. Common sense argued that this meant he also knew about Light having once been Kira. He could tell the police. All the police had to do was compare old pictures to L and Light's faces to see it was true, to see they weren't dead. Their lives would be ended. Their town, gone, their perfect house, their happy lives, their friends, their love, each other…gone. Greg had that power.

_We'll run away again. The secret service will take care of him. James had once said…that the secret service would make Sheryl disappear if they had to. They could do that with Greg. No one will miss him, they could kill him. Sweep him under the rug. I should run…find James…and have him kill him. We could say it was self defense. He attacked me after all._

"I can hear that brain of yours whirling. But you're still a stupid freak if you haven't figured it out." L flinched. He hated being called those things. "Come on little birdie, fly back on over here for a second. I promise I won't hurt you." The red bells and sirens immediately went off. Whenever anyone said something like that…it almost always meant the total opposite. Greg…Greg wanted to hurt him. Because he was gay? That was the Jersley's original reasons. But it didn't fit here. Greg wasn't acting like himself at all. He was too smart, he knew too much. And…was his southern accent gone?

L turned slowly. The shadows in the hall fell over his face. They fell over Greg's too, making it hard to see him properly. The whites of L's huge eyes were the only truly easily visible thing in their setting under such dim light. L finished turning around, facing his mystery attacker full on. L gazed frightfully down the shrouded tunnel toward him. His fear only tripled.

Greg's accent was missing.

How hadn't L noticed before? How could he lose his accent? Nothing changed a person's accent unless they moved away and lived in a different area for a long period of time. L knew that Greg hadn't. He grew up with his family who'd been in the same house for five generations. Every one of those generations had spoken with the same southern accent since they were originally from the deep south. So then how? How had his accent vanished? He sounded…more like…like…

_He sounds like Raito._ L suddenly thought. L's heart froze. It was true. He was speaking with mostly correct English, with a slight, barely noticeable Japanese accent. Not southern. Japanese. L's heart felt like it was going to explode. His mind screamed at him relentlessly to be heard. It knew the answer. It had known the answer for a long while now. But L…couldn't…or possibly…_wouldn't_ hear it. Whatever the answer was…Lawliet didn't want to accept it, or think of it. L recognized this now. He knew the answer…but it frightened him so badly…that he…

"Quoth the raven?" Greg said mockingly. "Doth thou Raven have anything at all to quoth?" He chuckled merrily. L's insides squirmed. Greg was not literate enough to read Edger Allen Poe. _This…this isn't…Greg…_ L shifted his huge, black, terrified eyes to the young man's face once more. Then slowly, trembling, his lips parted to whisper.

"Wh…who are you?" Greg did not respond by laughing this time. Instead he turned, eyeing the black bird with a gaze of stone, cold, death. His eyes narrowed, his mouth twitched, remaining in its grin, only now it was not full of glee, but malice.

"So…you finally understand." Greg began to walk forward to close the rather large space between them, placing one foot in front of the other slowly, almost torturously. "I grow weary of waiting for you to fully put it together, but I can't in all good consciousness tell you straight out. Come on L. I'm not Greg. You understand that little at least. I also know you're real name. I know all about Japan, I know all about Light. I know all about the Kira case. I didn't get my information from anyone. I've attained it firsthand. Who, oh please tell me _who_ has that knowledge?" He kept walking as he spoke, his voice growing more dangerous with every step he took. His shoes stomping more loudly as he grew closer and his rage seeming to bloom out of nowhere.

L felt frozen in place. The horrible truth that he'd known for some time, the truth that he'd been blocking away, the truth he'd been denying in order to protect his newly born self, in order to protect the Lawliet he'd become…was breaking free. The wall on it, the block he'd subconsciously placed on it was starting to crack.

L knew perfectly well now that if this was not Greg…then something supernatural was taking place. There was no other reason for a human being to not actually _be _the human being they appeared to be. Something was…_possessing_ him. Something was _inside_ Greg's body. Using it as some sort of sick puppet. Something was driving a human body around like a vehicle. What L was dealing with, was not of this earth. It was…

L's eyes were as large as they once were back in Japan on the day he learned that Shinigami existed, that the supernatural was real, that powers, and notebooks of death and demons were all true. He felt the same fear of knowing he could not control the supernatural. That he had no say, no power, no way of winning against something like that no matter how hard he worked or how smart he was. On that day back in Japan…L had been sure that he would lose, that his death was imminent. For after all, what could one do against the supernatural? L's face was the same as it was back then. It was the same as he trembled from his feathered hair down to his sandal clad feet.

"…d…demon…" L whispered, his voice hardly having any weight to it at all. It was just a weak rush of air as his knees buckled. He stumbled once from the horror, barely able to regain his balance.

"Demon!" He said again, much more loudly, and with much more terror behind it. Greg continued to march forward, pleasure at L having finally figured it all out on his face.

"Yes L! Yes! You were wrong! You were wrong this entire time! I was never some personality inside of your precious Light! I was never something so simple, so easily defeated! You just didn't want to believe! But now you know the truth! The truth of what I am! So say it! Say it again!" L shook his head in dismay, in utter and complete dread. He felt cold inside. He couldn't even breathe. Greg was coming closer still, only a few feet away now.

"You know I'm a demon, fantastic. But you know my name too! So say it! Say my name you pathetic little faggot!" L shook his head again, every bit of him trembling wildly as he did so. He would not say his name. He would not give the creature before him the satisfaction. Even in his current state of petrifaction, he would not give in. Not to this thing before him. Not to his worst enemy, not to this particular evil.

The thing inside of Greg snarled when he saw L resisting. Unable to hold it back, or wait for his victim to speak, he screamed.

"I AM KIRA!" L flinched from the sudden scream, from the sheer volume that escaped Kira's lips. He flinched in place. "AND I WILL FINISH WHAT I STARTED!" Greg's eyes, no…_Kira's_ eyes, suddenly flashed red. They _glowed_. Literally glowed. L watched, his very face seeming to lose its youth as a dark, ominous, oppressive power started to radiate from the being in front of him. The air around him grew heavy and thick, as if it were a solid thing. L could feel a pulsation coming from the thing in front of him. It came in waves, forcing its way through his chest each time. Something was building; a supernatural power that L couldn't even fathom.

The terror of it all, and the fact that Kira was coming nearer still, finally seemed to snap L into action. In complete terror, he turned on his heels and fled. He ran. As fast as he could. Nothing would keep him in that building. Nothing on the earth could keep him there or make him stay. Kira had always been his worst nightmare, his deepest fear. And his terror was so complete that he couldn't even feel anything. He was numb from the adrenalin, from the shock of it all. He could barely breathe even though he was gasping for air. His heart pounded in his chest just as hard as his feet pounded the tile. Kira. Kira was real. And Kira was beyond anything that L knew how to deal with. He was supernatural. And L knew he could not win. Not against something like that.

Behind him, laughter erupted. Loud, jagged, gleeful laughter. As if Kira had already won.

"Run little L! Run if you'd like, but I'm powerful enough now to do plenty on this plane. And you have no chance!" There was a horrible sound behind him. A sound like air and life being sucked into a tiny space. As if someone were screaming. Many voices all at once. L could feel that dark power at his back. And he knew…that Kira was about to release it. L dared not look back. He dared not turn. He continued to run, as fast as his body could take him, as fast as his sandals would allow, as quickly as his wire, glue, and feathered wings would take him. It was all he could do. The nearest exit was still far ahead of him, seemingly miles away. The red exit sign, which promised safety out in the freezing night, glowed mockingly. It seemed to shrink away from him as he desperately tried to get closer.

Nothing could have prepared L for the explosion of darkness that washed over him. It came in something similar to an explosion, only there was no sound. It was like a wall of water, or perhaps fire. Something oppressive that slammed up against his back and forced him face down into the concrete. It was violent, and he barely had the time to instinctively put out his arms, narrowly saving his face from cracking into the tiled floor. His fear driving him, he went to rise, to scramble back up to his feet, to continue running, but…he couldn't.

The pressure against his back was devastating. He could feel the wires in his wings being pressed ruthlessly into his curved spine. He couldn't move. In fact, he could scarcely breathe. The force that held him was powerful and it was so heavy, it took most of what he was to simply inflate his lungs. He wheezed for air. There wasn't even enough to call for help.

_Kira…Kira hadn't left Light at all. He'd simply been suppressed. He had been hiding inside…along for the ride all this time…_ Tears sprang to L's eyes as it all came together, as everything began to make sense. He should have seen it.

_He must be a type of demon from the Shinigami realm…or from Hell. He was possibly the soul of the Death Note, or at least managed to hitch a ride to the human world by attaching himself to an evil, supernatural object. And once Light touched it…Kira managed to hitch a ride in a new host. Kira…Kira possessed Light. _

Dark, horrible laughter issued from the creature behind him. Kira knew that L understood everything now. L understood that Kira had waited inside Light, even though he could not control Light without his easily influenced and shapeable thoughts. Back then, Light had welcomed Kira's suggestions, thinking they were his own because Light held a darkness toward the world around him. He hadn't valued people, or their lives. They had all seemed evil to him. That was what Kira had originally fed off of.

But now, Light was grown up. And he'd grown a will of his own. Light had his own desires that didn't match Kira's anymore. His negativity and hatred were gone. He saw the worth in others. The driving negativity that Kira had fed off of had disappeared. Kira had nothing over Light anymore. But having nowhere and no one to jump to, Kira was held prisoner inside of his old vessel. He was held dormant and powerless inside of Light's body as Light lived a full and happy life.

But a particularly negative passerby…someone who was in close proximity to Light…someone like a coworker who had a secret, burning, jealousy inside her, spawned from lust…someone like that was a prime target.

L knew then that Kira had been weak. He couldn't have jumped into just anyone. But Sheryl had probably harbored her desires inside, hiding them from everyone for a long time. Probably ever since Light came to work for Comp Inc and she discovered that he was already taken. She'd probably let her jealousy and lust fester for the entire nine months Light had been there. She probably fed those feelings, instead of trying to dispel them or focus on something else, like she should. Instead she fantasized about taking Light away from L, about seducing him away, or stealing him away.

It was a perfect latch for a demon to grab onto. And once Kira had hopped hosts…he could have easily swayed Sheryl. He tried to shape her and trick her the same way he had done Light. He probably tried to make her believe that his thoughts and his desires were hers. He would have amplified her negative feelings, making her believe that it was the only way; that she _had_ to have Light. Her feelings would have blossomed into hatred, rage, madness. Until she tried to kill L, the man in her way. It had escalated into something momentous.

_Sheryl…like Light…never realized what was happening to her. She never realized that she had a choice…that she could have acted differently…chosen a different path. She…embraced her darkness instead of fighting it as she should have. Just as Light had done… _

Knowing perfectly well that a demon like Kira would feed off of such things, L had no doubt that Kira had grown considerably stronger in the time he had been possessing Sheryl. With his new power, he had managed to possess others as well. L imagined that he had 'people hopped' his way from the hospital all the way back to town until he found Greg Jersley, someone who already hated L. It must have been easy to possess him. And now…Kira had total control. There was no Greg Jersley left. Kira was in charge, Greg's spirit completely over-ridden, shoved into the back recesses of his mind. That was how powerful Kira was now. And he was powerful enough…to use supernatural powers, dark powers, from the realm of which he came. That was what he was doing now…that was what held L to the floor.

L squeezed his eyes shut, tears of both terror and guilt raging fourth. He'd known. Deep in his subconscious, he'd known. He'd been having repetitive dreams about Kira for God's sake! There had been that nagging in his mind…and he had ignored it. He'd been too much of a coward to face the truth. So instead, he'd pushed it aside. And now…now it was too late to do anything. Kira…Kira would kill him to get him out of the way…and then…L had no doubt that he would go back after Light now that he was more powerful and able to force Light into submission.

"Yes, you understand now, don't you?" Kira stood right above him then, planting one shoe on each side of L's fallen body. The dark forces he used, latched onto their raven dressed victim, and turned him over so that he lay on his back. L still couldn't move. Kira grinned down at him from the face of Greg Jersley. It was hideous; seeing Kira wear a face that wasn't his. L shuddered as the creature crouched down, resting his hands on his knees so he could gaze at the rabbit he'd caught in his snare.

"When you're dead, Light will be overcome with grief and rage. It will be more than easy to re-bond with him. He'll welcome me with open arms. I'll be a relief from the pain he'll be in. I'll give him a mission. I'll utilize that brilliant brain of his. Because you see L, no one else will do. Oh no. Light's mind…is a prize. Other hosts are nice. Sheryl's jealousy was nice to work with and a great tool. But a brilliant mind…is the cake. Because you see L, I learn a little something from each person I'm with. If I had not possessed Light first, I dare say…I'd be a dumb as your average joe. I can only be as smart, or as hateful, or as powerful as my previous hosts allow me to be. That's why I had no power at all after Light disowned me. I hadn't the power to do anything. But once I have him back, and once his heart is as black and as cold as it once was…I will once more continue my plans. And the world…will eventually be mine. Everyone in it under my control. Mine to rule and take and shape as I see fit." Kira smiled triumphantly.

L tried to fight the dark forces used against him, he tried to get enough of a breath into his lungs s he could shout. Not for help, but to shout at Kira that he was wrong. To tell him that Light would never _ever_ accept him again. He was a good man. And he had a good heart. L wanted to make that known. Even if it would infuriate the creature before him. But…alas…he could not breathe. Kira grinned.

"With Light as my host, nothing can stop me. And all I have to do to achieve all of this…is kill you first. Which has always been a bit of a dream of mine anyway. A large bonus, along the way. I'm just a little disappointed that I couldn't do it while in your lover's body. It would have been beautiful to have you strangled with Light's very hands. But no matter…"

L had no idea how Kira was going to kill him. He had at first assumed with brutality, since he had possessed Greg after all. He would utilize his brute force for sure. But that wasn't the case. Nothing could have prepared L for the attack that was coming. Nothing could have prepared him for when Greg opened his mouth wide and suddenly seemed to spew out a mass of dark matter. It was as if a putrid mix of black emptiness escaped Greg's body. It swirled like smoke, yet looked as if it were made of nothing at all but holes in life, like a swarm of bees, or a flow of sand. But it didn't fall to the floor…it seemed to move…_wrong_. L couldn't figure out how to describe it, and he knew he never would. It was just _wrong_. As if it defied the laws of gravity, nature and physics. It looked unworldly, and grotesque. And just as Greg's form collapsed to the floor like a limp rag doll, the swirling, pulsating, abomination of nature flew forward, and began forcing its way into L.

The sensation was heinous. He tried to scream. He tried to fight it. He tried to do…anything at all to defend himself. But it was like fighting the very nothingness he once dreaded and feared. It invaded him. It forced its way in through his mouth, his nose, his eyes and his ears. It forced its way through his very skin, his very being. It penetrated deep inside of him, pushing, assaulting, probing.

L could no longer see anything. His vision vanished, only the black swirls visible to him. He couldn't scream, there was nothing but Kira inside of his lungs. He couldn't hear the world around him, shrieking, agonized cries filled his eardrums. All he knew was a deep terribleness. He saw blackness and felt only horror. He felt the agony that he had already triumphed over throughout his lifetime. He felt the loss, the rejection, the isolation. He felt all the terrible things he'd ever endured; only now it was all at once.

He could not handle it. It was torture of the worst kind. Kira was in a place no one else ever should have been able to touch, not even Light, his love. It was a sacred place that L hadn't even fully been aware of. A place all to himself. It was his core, the very essence of what made him. L knew it was meant to be his, and no one else's. And simply having Kira there was violating enough. But the things he was doing to him inside were lurid to the worst degree.

L was sure he'd only endured a few seconds, and already he longed for death. Anything to end what was happening to him. Anything at all to stop Kira from desecrating him, touching him, penetrating him. It was worse than anything he'd ever imagined. And L had imagined quite a bit back when he was L. He'd imagined death in a hundred different ways. He'd imagined being strangled, drowned, stuffed into a sack and beaten, shot, stabbed, chopped into little bits. And of course, thanks to Webber, he had imagined even worse things. But this…this was something he'd never imagined. He never could have. He never could have understood that there was something sacred inside of him in the first place. So how could he have ever been prepared for that sacred place being defiled, torn to ribbons, perverted?

_God! Let me die!_ He suddenly begged. He tried to scream again, but couldn't. He hadn't the voice. He knew he was dying. Even in his frenzied, agonized state, he could feel his body trying desperately to reject the thing that was now inside of him. His very heart stopped beating, refusing to continue work without its proper core._ Kill me! God! God if you have any mercy at all you'll kill me! Please! _He cried out. _Please dear Lord! God! Make it stop! Make him stop! Please! Don't let him touch me!_

In his utter desperation, L found himself trying to scream things he never would have dreamed of. Things he never even believed in. But then again…it did make sense. Even in his dying state L understood that if demons were real…and if they had power…then most assuredly, the other side was real too. If there was darkness, there was light. If there were demons, then there had to be angels. If there was a devil, there had to be a God. For a world could not exist without balance. There could be no evil without good. If all the world were evil…evil wouldn't have a name. Because it would be all there was. It would be the norm. How would a person know of evil…unless having experienced good? There always had to be a comparison. And so…even though L had never believed before, and still wasn't sure if he did now, his desperation was so great that he certainly didn't care. He begged unashamed to a higher power he had been ignoring his entire life, denying his entire existence, for all thirty years. He begged for release, pleaded, cried. And within only a second of the thoughts he had even beginning to take form, Kira suddenly left him.

L felt the vile creature inside of him lift; unwinding itself from the places it had slithered and latched onto. It was removed, pulled forcibly away from his sacred core, yet…somehow gently, so that it did not hurt as it exited the way it had when it entered. L felt the pervasive intruder's rage. He felt Kira. Kira was frenzied because he knew he could not finish his job. He was being forced out, and L knew that someone else was doing it, because L simply hadn't the strength. There was no possible way he could have extracted Kira himself.

L had barely had enough time to finish his pleading thoughts when the demon was gone entirely. L's feeling came back to his fingertips. His hearing came back to him, as did his sight. The first thing he did was gasp in air. He hadn't realized it, but he hadn't been breathing. Kira had a firm hold on his entire body, including all organs. He'd stopped breathing during that time…and his heart had stopped beating. Now, he took in desperate, big gulps of oxygen. Life in his lungs had never tasted so good. And a rhythm in his chest had never seemed so solid. L coughed viciously then, trying to reject the remnants of Kirs'a presence. He thought he felt something disgusting and wet in his throat.

"It's ok…shhh…I've gotchya…" A very familiar, sweet, voice, filled L's ears. He knew it instantly. Immediately, all of his other senses followed. He was still lying on the floor, but his upper half was surrounded by strong, warm arms. He was being clutched, desperately. L could smell his Raito-kun. He was safe. Safe in his arms.

At first, L thought that he had died, that God had granted his pleading wish. He'd died, and he had been sent to heaven. Light was here…

But even in his shell-shocked state, L knew it wasn't true. Because Light wasn't dead. And also because…L started to feel other things. Things that certainly wouldn't accompany him to heaven. His body…his body was on fire. His face hurt very badly, as did his arms, neck and chest. L's blurred vision slowly began to clear. The first thing he saw…was crimson.

Long, horrible scratches covered his front: his chest, neck, arms…and he knew his face as well, even though he could not see it. Even though he lacked the strength to lift his arms…one hand rested on his chest. He saw from the evidence there…he saw from his blood covered hands…that he had done this to himself. He let out a small gasp of alarm. His clothes were ripped, his hard-worked-on costume, torn and nearly destroyed. L was a complete mess. Thick layers of skin were lodged under his nails. It appeared as if he had clawed at himself like an animal in the few seconds he was possessed. However, the pain of his injuries was minimal compared to the frightful appearance of himself.

L saw clumps of black hair on the tiled ground. He knew it was his own. And he also felt something warm and wet between his legs. L's scratched cheeks became a sharp, quick, red with humiliation. He'd lost control of all his body during the scare, including things like his bladder. L started to breathe quickly. Fear began taking over him once more. He hadn't realized what was happening to him out here in the physical world. He hadn't known…

Suddenly, L's eyes snapped to a large bloody mess to the right. He saw it was Greg. And he was clearly dead. He'd been shot…what looked like three times in the head. The sight was horrible, and L quickly turned his head away with what miniscule amount of strength he could muster.

Light's caring arms encompassed him more tightly. He put one hand on the back of L's feathered head, keeping his sight away from the body. L's entire form was shuddering wildly. He felt cold…numb. He wasn't even entirely sure what was going on. Was Light even real? Wasn't he in jail? Perhaps he was hallucinating from the trauma.

"It's ok…Greg's dead. Jackie shot him." L tried to look around then, but the very act of doing anything at all was somehow terrifying. The brief glimpse around the hallway told him that the large body guard stood just behind Light who knelt with him on the floor. But other than that…L didn't care. He turned away from it all, burying his face in Light's chest. He didn't even want to see Light's concerned, frightened face. He didn't want to see anything. He didn't want to exist.

Light felt L tremble, he saw him cower. Quickly, he tried to sooth him.

"Shhhh…"

Light shifted L's body, trying to bring him in closer and readjust him. L immediately cried out, pain flaring up in him. It wasn't from the scratches, or the other injuries L had inflicted upon himself. In fact, L was sure he wasn't really physically injured too badly at all. Yet…the agony from the slight movement was intense. His insides…felt raw. He felt certain that he was bleeding inside where no one else could see. As if Kira had been a blender and that he had somehow stuck it up inside him and cleared him out. It was a deep, unfamiliar type of pain. A terrible sensation that L was sure he would never want to live with. Even lying there in Light's promising arms…L knew he would not want to go on living if this pain remained. Even though Kira had left him…L felt the damage that had been done. The sacred thing inside of him had been touched by something vile, and it felt…

L's body tensed, and then shuddered wildly. His hands flew to his ripped hair where he clutched his skull. And then a horrible, animalistic cry escaped L's lips. It was both a whimper and a scream. Light flinched as L made the noise. He'd been unprepared for such a horrible wail. He was even more unprepared for what L did after the cry subsided: L's face crunched up, his dark eyes filling with pearls. He let his head lull to the side, and then he started to cry.

But he didn't cry the way he always had. It wasn't silent, gentle tears running down his cheeks. It wasn't soft, with polite little sniffles as he usually did. There was no dignity about these tears at all. No. L wailed. His voice rose, lifting up to its full potential. The volume of it was louder than the screams he'd been emitting only seconds ago. The sounds of agony were not cries at all, but horrendous screams. He wailed deafeningly, in a way Light had never witnessed in anyone at anytime in all of his life.

Light felt L's chest inflate when he gasped in air. He felt his entire wiry body stiffen, shudder and break every time a new wail escaped him. He felt the very vibrations such a howl made, shriek through L's thin muscles and skin. The very act of L's cries seemed violent in themselves. If Light weren't so concerned with holding onto his love, only the more tightly, he would have instinctively covered his ears. It was so horrid, that Light could have described L's shudders as convulsions.

Needless to say, Light became terrified. The entire evening had been a rollercoaster. It had been a huge mass of confusion. He _still_ had no idea what was going on, or what had taken place. All he knew was that he was here now, and that it simply wasn't good enough. For the first time since their relationship began…Light's simple presence and kind comforts weren't enough to fix whatever L was facing. L had been hurt. In a way that Light couldn't fathom. He didn't know what had happened. And he didn't know how to help. Some horrible thing inside told him…that he couldn't.

Terrified, absolutely petrified for his screaming lover, Light pulled him in closer, trying to hold him, comfort him. He just didn't know what else to do.

"It's ok!" He cried, being forced to scream over L's howling. "It's ok now! Greg's dead! You're safe!" But L wouldn't stop. He reached out, his bloodied hands wrapping tightly around the loose cloth of Light's button up shirt. He bowed his head, pushing it firmly, almost painfully into Light's ribs. He clutched at his love, another long howl escaping him. Light could only stare, his almond eyes huge with confusion and terror. Desperate to help, to do something, anything for L, he whirled his head to the side where Jackie stood in something close to shock.

The large, once stone-like man had huge, white eyes that almost glowed in the darkness of the hallway. He stared at the scene before him in silence, taking in all that he had witnessed.

"Jackie! What do we do?" Light cried to him. But he could scarcely breathe. Light and Jackie had stepped into the hall after someone at the party said they'd seen L enter from a side door. The music of the party was so loud, that no one had heard anything. Jackie himself hadn't heard a thing until they had entered the darkness. But the moment he and Light had stepped in…they'd seen something…Jackie could not explain.

He was still shaken. His large, callused, chocolate hands trembled, still clutching his smoking gun. He held it down, pointed at the floor for safety, but he hadn't managed to call up enough courage to move yet in order to holster it. His wide eyes were fixed on Greg.

A black…_thing_ had been swirling around him. Greg had been laying on the floor, convulsing. And a black, swirling…_thing_ had been flowing out of his mouth and into L's. Jackie and Light had no idea what it was, but it was obvious that the black mass was killing the ex-detective. L had been snarling and howling like a wild animal. He'd been convulsing on the floor, tearing at himself. They'd watched as he tore out his own hair, clawed viciously at his own body. His eyes had been rolled back in his head, foam had been coming from his mouth. Having no idea exactly what was happening, but feeling very much like he was face to face with the devil, Jackie did the first, instinctive thing that came to mind: he'd shot Greg. Three times. Expertly. In the center of his head.

This seemingly did not stop the black thing for several more, long, torturous minutes. Light was screaming his lover's name. He'd run to him, grabbing a hold of the animal on the floor. He'd tried to hold down his arms, to keep him from hurting himself. But L had been wild. Light couldn't control him. Jackie had watched, unmoving, frozen in shock, until suddenly, and for some unexplained reason…the black mass had let off some horrible noise and just…left.

It looked like it was forced out of L's body, and like it was in pain. And then it just…slithered away across the floor and out underneath one of the doors. And there Jackie stood, still unmoving. That was…until Light turned to him in desperation.

"Jackie!" he cried again. "What's wrong with him? Do you know anything? What do we do?" Jackie heard the utter panic in the young man's voice as he held a hysterical L in his arms. Jackie blinked, his wide eyes finally shifting away from Greg's body and to the two boys in front of him. Because that's what they were…boys. They were only boys. Light was so young, only twenty three. And even L who had so much life experience and who had just turned thirty…was still so young emotionally. He was so new at feeling things, so young and raw with his emotions that he acted and seemed very young, like a child at times. Jackie had seen him struggle with the little nuances of regular life even in the short time he'd been guarding him. He was like a newborn. And so…when Jackie saw Light's desperate face, his pleading young eyes…he knew he had to take charge. He was older. He was wiser. He was the adult.

Jackie chased his fear away. His face became chiseled once more. He roughly and firmly holstered his gun; a good physical way of telling his fear to back off. And within only those two seconds, he felt in control once more. Even if he didn't know exactly what to do, he had a good idea of how to start.

"Let's bring Lawliet back to the house. We'll call the doctor from our services and have her make a house call. I don't think Lawliet should be brought out to the base. We'll clean him up and bandage him as best we can until the doctor arrives. Then she will tell us what's wrong with him and what's to be done."

As always, Jackie spoke briskly, and matter-of-fact. His voice was steady and stern. It calmed Light down considerably. It sounded like Jackie knew what he was doing and what he was talking about, even if he didn't. It was a great comfort to follow directions for once, and not have to think himself. And so, Light nodded.

L's wails had quieted down some. His screams had diminished into somewhat regular sobbing. He kept his face in Light's chest, his body continuing to shudder tremendously as he inhaled sharply, then released it in a wracking sob. But at least…he wasn't screaming anymore.

Light very carefully, and as gently as possible, scooped L up into his arms. Then he slowly rose to his feet. He cradled L like a child, and soothingly tried to calm him once more by speaking softly and promising it would be alright. Then he turned and followed Jackie toward the exit. They would leave quietly, hopefully without alerting anyone at the party. Light knew they'd have to make a cover story for L's disappearance, but for now…they had to concentrate on getting home without being spotted.

"I'll go pull up the car. You stay inside until we're ready." Jackie said. Light thought briefly of Greg's body. That would be a little harder to handle. But that's what the secret service was for. They would take care of it. Light didn't have to worry or concentrate on such a thing. No…what he had to concentrate on now, was L and figuring out what the hell had just happened.


	20. Overcome

Author's Note: Well, well, well. Here I am, still alive. How I'm not entirely sure. I cannot go into detail, because it's both legal, and now it's also dangerous, but I've been going through a great deal of things lately. To make it short, and as vague as possible for my own safety, just know that I've gotten mixed up with a bad company. I made the mistake of trying to do the right thing, and now there's some very VERY bad, angry people after me. I'm not sure what'll happen. But it'd be pretty damn funny if they tried to sue me. I've got about two hundred bucks to my name. Haha! Anyway, I'm still writing through it all! Not having a full time job has suddenly become the least of my problems. Maybe I'll dedicate myself to taking down shady, abusive companies instead. *snort* Anyway, a bit of advice for everyone out there, don't just take any job that comes your way. Check out the company first. Make sure they're legitimate. Because if not, you may be sucked into a scam, and getting paid is questionable, but more importantly, it's dangerous. And if it does happen to you, it may be best t just let it go. Because if you make a stink like I did, they'll come after you.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The snow had started to fall as they tried to make their way home. The dry, icy breath of the storm was by no means kept out by the metal doors of Jackie's car, or by the lukewarm air that blasted through the vents. The trip was too short for the car to be able to work up enough of a sweat to produce any significant amount of heat. And so, it only exhaled on them with what little breath it had to offer.

It was of no help to L, who'd finally calmed. Or rather…stopped making too much of a noise. Light would not have described him as calm. He was curled tightly, like a pill bug that was recently prodded with a stick. He also trembled. His shuddering hadn't stopped since he'd been rescued. Light knew perfectly well that it had nothing to do with the biting winter winds that found their way through every pore in the cars outer shell. No…L didn't even seem to register the cold, even though his costume was ripped and tattered. Still, Light knew he must have been chilly, so he wrapped his arms around him tighter. He kept the smaller man in his lap. They had not parted to enter the car. Light kept L as close as humanly possible without literally morphing into his side.

The snow outside had come suddenly. It didn't have the few lazy flakes a usual winter storm would start out with. It had instead been clear one moment, and then a deep bathing white the next. The storm L had predicted earlier had come, and it was looking much more ferocious than expected. The snowflakes were small and sand like. They were not the fun, fat, wet ones children used to make snowmen and snow angels. This was a dry, useless snow; the kind that felt like sharp crystals against ones skin when the wind blew. They were the kind that slipped in between the teeth of coat zippers just to be nasty enough to freeze the wearer. They were hard, and unyielding, and there were millions of them coming down at one. Light almost believed for a moment…that it was ash raining down from the blackened sky of night. Surely, this weather was nothing as magical as snow.

L was shivering in his arms. His breathing was fast, jagged, and uneven. He looked and sounded just as terrified as he had been inside the Hall. He reached out a shivering hand. Light shifted his gaze from outside the window to his desecrated partner. L slowly touched his bloodied fingers to Light's still unstained cheek.

"R…r…Rai…Rai…to…" Light's heart was already broken by the state in which he'd found his mate. He was sure he could not feel any worse for him, or any more guilt for having not been there to protect him. Immediately, Light released L from one of his hands so he could very _very _gently, run his fingers through L's bloodied hair.

"Shhh…I've gotchya now. You're safe. It's ok…" Light soothed him as best he could. But L only shook his head in dismay. His eyes were huge, the whites of them practically glowing. Mixed in with his terror and fear, there was another emotion: urgency.

"N…no. Ra…Raito…it…it…it was…k…Ki…Kira! Kira!" He cried the terribly important name as best he could. His voice wavered and broke as he struggled to convey his message through his turmoil of emotions and injuries.

Light's almond eyes widened just a tad…but then shrank back down to normal size. Clearly, he wasn't grasping what L was saying…or…he just didn't believe it.

"It's ok Lawli. Kira's not here. Kira's dead. We defeated him ourselves. You're safe. You're _safe_." Light reached out, taking the hand L had put on his cheek. He lowered it and gave it a tight reassuring squeeze. He tried to smile for his rattled love. Surely…surely L was thinking of Kira because he'd been so traumatized. He was in shock. He would remember later on that this had nothing to do with Kira. It was only because he was so afraid, because Kira had once been his worst enemy that he uttered the accursed name now. But L only shook his head again, this time more wildly. Light watched, his heart growing only more distressed as L turned his head to the side in order to squeeze his eyes shut in a look of total anguish. A wicked tremor ran through his small, bony form at the same moment a wicked wind rocked their little car. L bit his bottom lip, clearly trying to keep his emotions under control, but the efforts were in vain, he let out a quick sob, or rather, a huge rush of air. He shook his head yet again, then bravely turned to face his partner a second time.

"Rai…Raito…" Light could scarcely believe the tones he was hearing. L's voice was so broken, so jagged. He could scarcely stand to breathe, not to mention deliver a message. But that was what he was trying to do. Desperately. Light saw it on his face. The urgency and the importance behind his fear.

"R…Raito…K…Kira. Kira! It was him! He did this! K…Kira...h…hnn…" His explanation was cut off by a small whimper. Light watched as L lifted his free hand and brought it to his mid section. There, he clutched himself, hard. Light saw how he gripped himself, his shirt being tangled in between his long slender fingers. It looked as if he were in immense pain. As if…something was done to him inside.

Light immediately assumed the worst. He could have been bleeding where no one could see. Who knew what Greg had done to him before Light and Jackie had shown up. L could have been bleeding internally.

"Lawli…" L immediately shook his head yet again to interrupt.

"L…listen!" It was a demand. Even in his torn apart state, even as scared and as injured as he clearly was, he was still making demands. Light almost smiled. He could have smiled at the way L would always be himself, no matter what, but he couldn't just now. Instead, he lifted his gaze back to L's face. L stared back at him, his dark eyes deadly serious. He somehow was keeping the pain at bay for the moment, and the fear as well…because all Light saw now…was a determination and harshness he had not seen in years.

"It's Kira, Raito. He's not a personality. He's a demon." Light blinked. He gazed at L's face, his deadly serious face. He did not blink, did not move. Even his tremors had significantly subsided. He didn't look as if his mind had been altered by his experience. L looked…as steadfast and as intelligent as ever. Even with blood dripping down the left side of his face.

Light felt his heart contract. It spasmed. It then stopped. For a brief second or two, the very world seemed to end. The colors of it faded before his eyes. The car stopped moving. Lost in time, the snowflakes swirling around them froze in midair.

_No!_ His mind thought desperately. _NO!_ But Light knew it to be true. That one simple sentence that L uttered had tossed his mind into a realm of possibilities. And within only a few petrified seconds of thought, Light understood what had taken place. There was no other possibility. Only a demon could do the things he and Jackie had witnessed. Only a monster from Hell itself could have produced the horror that had happened tonight. Light could still see that black smoke, that black swarm of nothingness plunging into his only love. He could still see it rushing through him, crushing its way down his throat, through his eyes. He could still see L convulsing on the ground, lifting his hands in desperation, clawing at himself, tearing as if he could possibly get the creature out of him if he just dug his nails deep enough. Light could still hear L's screams.

Only a demon, only a demon could do this. Only something as wicked and as dark and as evil as Kira, could harm someone as pure and as light as L had become. Light was convinced at just hearing the word…that these things were true. What L said was true. It was the only explination.

The world started back up. His heart began to beat again, only this time much too quickly. It raced in his chest as the faint blue grays of night inked themselves back into the picture. The snow outside began to fall once again, viciously. The little ice crystals attacked the car, making it hard for Jackie to see, and harder still to drive on such slick roads.

"Hold on guys, we're almost there," Jackie called over his shoulder. But Light wasn't listening. He instead stared at his partner in horror. Kira…was not only alive, but much more powerful than either of them had been ready to give him credit for. It wasn't just L who'd been in denial, Light had been in denial too. After all, he'd been the demon's host for many long, terrifying years. And once he realized that Kira was not a part of himself, not a part of Light Yagami…well…he should have known _then_. But L's suggestion of Kira being another personality had been much easier for him to take. So much so, that he had never even considered an alternative. He never could have even considered that he had been taking orders from something so vial. He could have never admitted to being used in such a way…like a puppet…like a play thing, a pawn. No. Light was too proud of a person. He could scarcely even think of it now as it were. It made his skin crawl, it made him itch. And he understood then…why L had been clawing at himself when they found him. Light felt like doing the same thing now just thinking of it. But to have that creature force it's way inside…

"I…I'm so…so…glad you…you're…home…" Light looked to L. He looked frightfully paler than usual. He was sickly, weak looking, even though he was trying to smile. That smile…the one he was trying to wear to welcome Light home…was the saddest thing of all.

"Lawli…" Light reached forward slowly, but then he saw L's face slacken. He watched as L's eyes suddenly rolled up into the back of his head and then he simply collapsed.

Panic. Panic struck Light like a club of lightning. He reached out, catching the ex-detective just before he hit the seats. Light then stared at him in horror.

"Lawliet? Lawliet! Lawi!" Light shook him briefly, but it seemed L was unconscious. He didn't stir, his body as limp as that of a wilted flower in his lovers arms.

"What happened?" Jackie called from the front, unable to take his eyes off the road. Light looked to the adult in desperation.

"He…he just…collapsed!" It was clear even from the back seat that Jackie was worried. But he somehow kept his cool.

"It's ok; we're at the house now. I've already called the doctor, she's on her way." And sure enough, there up ahead was the house. It looked dark and ominous with all of its lights off, the windows back. Already covered in slow, it seemed as if it were buried in the ash Light imagined. It might as well have been a ghost house; barely visible through the swirling clouds of crystal.

Wasting no time, Jackie parked the car. He immediately got out and hurried around to the back of the vehicle. He flung open the car door using his large muscles. A gust of ice and biting wind immediately assaulted Light as he sat, his limp lover clutched in his arms. Jackie reached his hands out for him. Light quickly handed L over to the bodyguard. He was much larger, and could carry L with greater ease. Besides…Light himself wasn't doing so great. His knees were unreliable as he struggled to stand up on them. He stumbled out into the blinding snow. He felt numb. His mind whirled like the winter ice around him. He could scarcely see straight, or breathe. Walking was another task of difficult proportions. He completely forgot to close the car door as he stumbled toward the house, following the tall, dark shadow in front of him.

The wind howled; loudly enough to make Light wonder if he wasn't actually hearing wolves in the distance. Surely there was a monstrous beast just behind the black pines to the left of their house. Surely that was what made such a terrible noise. It couldn't have simply been nature.

The group made it to the front door. Light, fumbling in his pockets managed to close his clumsy fingers around the frozen metal keys. He pulled them out, almost dropped them, caught them, then gripped them tightly to keep them from getting away. Hands shaking, he somehow managed to get the key into the latch on the first try. He turned the knob and the oak door swung inward for them with ease. All three went inside.

The terrible howl of the wind became muffled as the heavy front door was closed. The biting wind, no longer able to attack the flesh of the living, instead began to claw furiously at the door in her way. She shook the windows, rattled the quaint bungalow's shutters, and pounded her fists against the roof in a brilliant temper. But alas, lady winter and all her fury could not break in. The only evidence left of her attack came in the form of a thick, dusting of white on top of Light and Jackie's shoulders and hair; and even that was beginning to melt in the warmth of the house. Only out of habit alone, Light took off his shoes in the foyer. Jackie did not. And for once, Light didn't scream at his guest about mud and dirt on his nice clean carpets. In fact he hadn't noticed. Neither man took off his coat. Instead, they stepped at once into the living room. Jackie turned to look at Light, his face full of a concern that Light had no time to recognize.

"Where…"

"The bedroom." Light turned to the stairs that led to the second story, and Jackie immediately followed. They went down the hall and into the master bedroom. Jackie did not ask permission, he simply, and gently lay L down on top of the clean sheets. He cautiously slid his large, muscled arms out from under him, as if he were a fragile child made of straw and string. Light did not care that the bed was now stained, the sheets ruined.

"W…we…we should clean his wounds!" Light immediately ran to the bathroom, absolutely frantic to find the alcohol, the rags and the bandages. Jackie however did not follow. He stayed in the bedroom with L, who didn't move or stir. His breathing was soft and shallow, his coloring grayish. He was a sight to behold. Dressed all in black, make-up on his face, and feathers still in his hair, he looked almost exactly like a bird who'd flown into a window. The small wings on his back were torn, and they lay at a crooked angle.

Jackie would never admit it out loud, in fear that Light would not be able to hold himself together, but he was afraid that L was dying. He only had basic medical training, he could not know for certain, but L didn't look good, and his fragile condition had worsened in the five minute car ride alone. But the absolute and most terrifying thing about the entire situation was that Jackie knew very well that L could not be dying from his very minor injuries. He had a few scratches. Some of them were deep, granted, but that was all. Jackie saw nothing else.

He stepped up closer, until he was just beside the bed. Being so tall, he had to lean in and down in order to inspect his charge more thoroughly. Light was making a racket in the bathroom, slamming and banging cabinet doors and rummaging through things. Jackie knew he had time. He carefully inspected the lanky linguist.

…

No…there were no other injuries. L didn't even appear to have a concussion or head injury. Jackie doubted he was bleeding internally, as Light suspected. But of course he could not know for sure. He could have ruptured an organ simply from the stress. But Jackie was sure…simply certain…that L's condition had nothing to do with the physical plane. This was something supernatural. Something he and other mortals couldn't see. Jackie was convinced that the black cloud demon had done something to L. He sensed it inside the smaller man.

Jackie's face tensed. His large flat nostrils flared. His lips curled into a snarl as his white eyes became filled with an anger he had never displayed while on the job before.

"You have no right," he suddenly said. He did not speak loudly. In fact, his deep, gruff voice had been rather low in volume, but it was his tones that carried the weight of his words. His baritone octaves carried an authority and a power that did not come from volume alone.

"This is a good man. I've studied his work. I know what he's done and what he has sacrificed for the sake of mankind. I know what he has accomplished. And I also know that he has done many more things than haven't been recorded in his file. He is a force of good. And you have no _right_ to come near him, or corrupt him or harm him!"

There was a small part of Jackie that was surprised by the things he was suddenly saying. He had always been a quiet man. Distant and cold to those around him. Even those who cared about him, he never let in close. He was a man who remained detached from things unless it involved work. True, that L was his charge, true, his job required him to take care of him and protect him, but now that he was hurt, there wasn't anything he could do. Or was there?

Jackie felt an anger that he had not felt in many long, cold years. He felt a heat that he had worked hard to suppress. He felt the flames of rage that could only be sprung by an injustice served to an innocent. At first he was afraid of his sudden feelings. The heat of his anger had come so quickly. And he was a man who worked very hard to control his temper at all times. He had kept a strict control over his emotions for the past many years.

But something told him, that this time…unlike the last time…it didn't seem dangerous. He knew he would not lash out, he would not hurt anyone. Not ever again. Certainly his anger wasn't directed at L at all, but the thing that was put inside of him. Yes…instead of feeling like he was losing control, instead of feeling dangerous, Jackie felt as if he were in total control. In fact, he felt empowered.

"L Lawliet…" Jackie spoke softly. The same intensity behind his words, but there was no hint of his anger directed at the sleeping form, no, his anger was at the thing that had done this to him. And he knew his words…would somehow help.

"L, listen to me…whatever that thing did to you…is not permanent. I…I have no idea what's taken place. But I do know that…that _thing_ has no place in you. I know that you are stronger than that creature. Because you're a good man." Jackie stopped himself then. What was he saying exactly? He wasn't sure. He himself had never believed in such fanciful things. He'd always scoffed at it. He knew the harsh reality of things. He had seen enough. He'd learned from the coldest mistress of all: life.

Life had taught him, cruelly, that miracles didn't happen just because someone wanted them too, just because someone prays for one. People die. Jackie knew all too well how fragile life was, how quickly a person could die and suddenly no longer be there. And he knew that terrible things happened to good people. But this…felt…different somehow. This wasn't some tragedy created by man. A man did not do this to L. It was something supernatural that mortals like them had no control over. This was not about choices, and it was not a debate about free will. This was something…that simply had happened. And something told Jackie very firmly, that whatever happened to L didn't have to stay with him.

"We're human beings…" he said softly. "And so, because of that…we overcome."

"I've got it!" Light cried as he stepped out of the bathroom with an armload of things. Jackie smoothly stood back up to his full height. He turned to face Light. The young boy was still so frantic that he didn't even notice the obvious and deep emotion written on Jackie's usually stony face. He hustled past the large bodyguard, shoving his way to his stricken lover's side. Jackie stepped aside to grant him access.

Light immediately began fussing over L. He took out a pair of scissors and immediately began to cut off L's torn shirt. Feeling as if he were invading their privacy, Jackie turned and walked toward the bedroom door as Light fitfully unscrewed the cap on the alcohol. Jackie would leave him alone as he cleaned his partner. After stealing one last glance back toward the stricken linguist, Jackie grabbed the door handle and stepped out. Ignoring Light's cries of indignation at uncooperative first aid items, he shut the door softly. He would go down stairs to wait for the doctor. It could be some time due to the storm, and Jackie knew he would need all that time to think about the sudden range of emotions and thoughts he'd experienced. One thing was for sure though; Jackie was suddenly certain, that L would be just fine.


	21. Soul

Author's Note: Well, I know it's been quite some time since an update. I apologize. It seems life intends to give me more challenges and lessons every time I think I've passed over one or conquered another. Rest assured, my legal issues are at least solved. I didn't end up in jail, or secretly abducted and shot as I was worried may actually happen for a little while. I will reveal however, that blackmail and bribes are real things that don't just happen in movies as I originally thought. By the way NEVER take a bribe. Ever. Seriously. It doesn't make it go away.

I also managed to find a part-time job. But I lost the unemployment. So now I'm making far less working than I ever did unemployed. I'll spare you the details. Just know that life is still throwing me curve ball after curve ball and I need to deal with them as they come, which is why my writing speed as dropped dramatically. Please be patient. I won't ever stop writing as I promised in previous chapters.

So this next chapter at least is a nice long length, and as always, anything in bold is being spoken in Japanese.

~Spotofpaint

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It had taken the secret service doctor two hours to make the normally forty-five minute drive. But simply listening to the cries of the winter storm outside was enough of an explanation. Jackie had reached his own conclusions in that time about the things he had felt and said to the downed, raven-haired man. He was curious to see if the doctor came up with similar conclusions. But first thing was first.

Jackie shut the door behind the middle-aged woman. She was wearing a thick coat, which was blanketed in white flakes. She immediately shrugged it off within the blink of an eye. She thrust the garment into Jackie's unprepared hands, causing him to fumble with the garment.

"Where's the patient?" Her cool blue eyes looked around the living room frantically. It was a life or death call after all, and so she was expecting the worst. Jackie, somewhat back to his usual self, calmly hung up her coat on the coat rack. When he didn't answer her immediately, the doctor whirled on him.

"Agent Lee! Where's the patient?" He calmly lifted his large callused hands and made a respectful 'shh' motion with his dark fingers.

"He's upstairs with Light. They're both sleeping." The doctor looked shocked. Her head actually jerked back with surprise, her light-blue eyes widened with both anger and indignation.

"Excuse me? Sleeping? Is there not someone dying on the premises? Because I didn't just risk my life in that deadly snow storm to drive all the way out here, through the ice and the wind and the God knows what else to hear you tell me that they're well enough to be sleeping comfortably in their beds!" She was angry, of course. Livid actually, because all she said was most certainly true. But there was also a bit of her that was seriously relived. No doctor wanted to deal with a life and death situation. It was better for the patient to be well enough to recover on their own. But still, it didn't change the two hours of utter fear she'd felt. She didn't want to know what the secret service would do, what Quillish Whammy would do if the infamous L died on her watch.

"It's ok Doctor Sheldon. L's still in great need of your assistance. But I think things are a little more complicated than we originally thought." Doctor Sheldon gazed at Jackie thoughtfully. The two had chatted a couple of times in the hallways back at base, but neither had yet to become more than acquaintances. Still, Sheldon felt certain that she knew enough about Jackie to know that he normally didn't say things like that. He was very _un_complicated; on the surface at least. And Doctor Sheldon saw him making things very simple for the people around him. There had been plenty of occasions when a coworker had come to him with what seemed like a complicated matter, and he would give them only a few words of advice. Jackie Lee was an agent who took situations and somehow made them easy. To hear him say something was complicated seemed strange to her.

She took just a few seconds to smooth out her white lab coat. She'd gotten into the car straight from work, so hadn't had the opportunity to change. She seemed frazzled and ragged, and rightfully so. Her long, wavy, fiery hair was tied back into a low ponytail. A few strands of the orange escaped it. Painfully Irish, she also had an array of freckles across her nose. She was easily described as pretty and even young looking.

She hardly ever looked her age of forty-five. Jackie estimated thirty-six when they'd first met. But now at least, her age was showing. The deep lines beneath her eyes told Jackie just how frightened she'd really been while she'd been alone in her car, surrounded by the deadly promises of a winter storm. Lady winter, unable to harass the innocents in the Yagami house, had undoubtedly attacked Doctor Sheldon's car instead.

"Ok Jackie, do you want to explain to me what's going on, or shall I take a look at my patient before he dies?" She was usually almost always, just as brisk as she was currently, and she was always sarcastic; especially so tonight. But again, Jackie couldn't blame her. She was pulling a double shift. It was almost midnight. And she had to be back at work the next day too. Jackie shook his head lightly.

"I think you'll understand more once you see your patient. I didn't want to delay you, just let you know that he's not dying." Sheldon rolled her eyes.

"Gee thanks agent Lee, but I think I'll take all the medical responsibilities from here." Jackie didn't take her temper to heart. In fact, he seemed as stoic as ever. "Is he upstairs?" Jackie simply nodded. Doctor Sheldon briskly turned and headed for the second level, not even bothering to take in the surroundings of the very nicely furnished first floor. If Light had been downstairs and entertaining guests as he usually did, he would have been offended that his interior decorating skills had been so discarded. Jackie followed the doctor upstairs.

When Doctor Sheldon reached the top landing, she didn't even bother asking Jackie which room they were in. She simply flung open the nearest door, discovering the empty guest room first. She then slammed the door shut and marched down the hall to the next door. This was the correct one, and she flung it open just as briskly as the last door.

Inside, Light Yagami bolted upright in bed, completely and utterly startled. He stared with wide caramel eyes at the intruding doctor. Jackie was slightly amused to see one piece of hair sticking almost straight up as a result of bed head. But he gave no indication to his amusement.

"Light Yagami, I'm Doctor Sheldon," she introduced. She had already begun to walk over briskly, hand outstretched when Light began scrambling out of the king-sized bed. His right foot got caught in the sheets for just a second, but then he pulled free and scrambled the rest of the distance to the doctor.

"Thank God you're here!" He grabbed her offered hand with both of his, then shook vigorously. "He hasn't woken up yet!" Doctor Sheldon didn't waste time. She ripped her hand away from Light and took her kit over to L's bedside. Rounding the bed, she began situating herself beside him. Plopping her white, hard plastic, case on the clean nightstand, she flipped the latches and popped it open. Inside was an assortment of tools. She started with one of the most basic, taking her stethoscope and hanging it around her neck. She also grabbed her blood pressure cuff.

Sheldon went through the usual routine that any practicing doctor was well familiar with. L's blood pressure was a little low. But according to all of his medical files which had been transferred over to her, this was usual for the small man. He was borderline anemic. It was nothing to worry about. She also checked his heart. The rhythm was good. It was rather slow, but that was only because he was resting. She pried open the sleeping man's eyes next, shining a light in them. L didn't wake when she did so. But Doctor Sheldon was at least happy with the results in this area.

After checking a number of other symptoms and usual signs, all checking normal, she stood back up straight. She packed a lot of the instruments she'd just used into her bag, then withdrew a needle and syringe. After carefully finding the vein she wanted, she drew some blood. L didn't wake for this either.

Then, carefully, she unwrapped the bandages Jackie and Light had put on their sleeping charge. She took a good look at L's scrapes and cuts, but none were serious, and the Neosporin that was put on them should have been enough for recovery. There really weren't any real injuries on him. A bad bump was on his head from where it'd hit the hallway floor, but even that had already stopped swelling.

After her entire physical was complete, Doctor Sheldon stood back up, a puzzled expression on her face.

"Hm." Light gazed at her expectantly, his skin still pale from the entire ordeal and his normally cool eyes wide.

"Hm?" he questioned. "What does that mean? What is it?" Doctor Sheldon put one hand to her chin where it rested. Her cool blue eyes stayed on the downed ex-detective.

"Well, as far as I can tell, there's nothing physically wrong with him," she said. "But…Jackie explained to me when I first received the call, what you two believe to have taken place. I really don't think I believe it myself. But I do know that agent Lee isn't one to make up stories. Especially not ones as farfetched as ghosts and possessions. So…obviously…something traumatic _did_ happen. Whether it's demons or not isn't important. What is important is that because I cannot find any real physical injuries, I'm going to have to suggest that L's condition is purely psychological."

Light didn't seem happy about this answer. Not at all. In fact, his worried and expectant face quickly transformed. It tightened, its usual lines of anger appearing at the corners of his mouth and eyes.

"Excuse me doctor," he said, his tones crisp and short. "But I don't _care_ whether you believe us or not. You better damn well work on the assumption that our story is accurate! Whatever happened to Lawliet _wasn't_ psychological. He was attacked! Attacked by Kira! Maybe it's not your area of expertise, but I'd appreciate it if you could look outside the box for a few minutes and check Lawliet out again for something that's wrong with him! Kira _did_ something _to_ him!" Doctor Sheldon wasn't fazed at all by Light's anger or his threatening tones. In fact, she hardly seemed impressed. Her cool blue eyes remained as cool as their coloring as she gazed at Lawliet's worried love.

"I wouldn't underestimate psychology," she said. "The mind is a very powerful thing Light Yagami. You of all people should understand this. And especially in someone like L, whose mind is capable of almost anything, I would say he's more susceptible to psychological issues than most. His files even read so. He's already had plenty of psychological imperfections.

All I'm suggesting right now, is that he's traumatized. It doesn't mean your story isn't true. And it really doesn't matter if it is or not. Lawliet is suffering from the effects of this attack up here," she pointed to her head, tapping her clear fingernail against her red locks. "It's clearly not physical. But the power of stress can do more damage than a lot of physical blows. His body's shut itself down so that he doesn't have to deal with the turmoil and emotions this episode has put him through. He's protecting himself. He was probably terrified, and this is how he's dealing with it."

Light seemed to calm down after the explanation. His tense face slowly loosened. The doctor's explanation was acceptable. He sighed heavily, his shoulder's sagging. He was exhausted. But the night was still not yet over. The wind whipped by the corner of their cozy house, shrieking as it did so to the life inside. Light glanced woefully to his unconscious love, placing a worried hand to his forehead.

"Wh…what do we do?"

"Our services also have a psychologist on staff. I'll call him and leave him a message. He can come over tomorrow and check L out. He'll be able to help bring L out of his trauma induced state and also help him to recover from this episode."

"Um, Doctor Sheldon," came a soft, low voice. Both the doctor and Light turned to face Jackie, who'd been consistently quite the entire time. "Doctor Sheldon," he said again. "Although I agree that Lawliet was traumatized by the ordeal, I do not believe that is the end to his problems. Earlier on, Light and I were convinced that he was dying. He looked like it. It…it's hard to explain. But…I believe it was something more serious. I have to agree with Light when he said that Kira did something to L. I…I saw it…"

Doctor Sheldon's eyes widened when she heard Jackie stutter, heard the crack in his voice. They widened even further when she saw Jackie's large, dark, body tremble. Whatever had happened at the Halloween party…was enough to scare this usually unmovable man. Although she didn't know him personally, she'd heard plenty of stories from other agents at the secret service to know that Jackie had faced life and death situations many times before. He'd been involved in drug busts, gun fights, and hostage situations. And he'd always done it all appearing as if he were a stone. Whether or not he was actually afraid was uncertain, but what was certain was that he never _appeared _so. But this time, he was unmistakably afraid. And if a man like Jackie Lee believed this was a demons doing…

"Trauma is probably a part of it, yes, but…I felt earlier…that perhaps…the biggest problem was…with his heart," he said. Doctor Sheldon contemplated it for a second, but slowly shook her head.

"I checked his heart. It's beating regularly. It sounded fine."

"No…" Jackie walked over slowly from the doorway where he'd been standing. He came to the side of the bed where both the doctor and Light stood. He leaned over L, a small, thin man who, appearance wise, was the exact opposite of his bodyguard. Jackie slowly and carefully raised a hand, then gently lay it on top of L's chest.

"Here," he said. "When you pointed to your head earlier and said there was a problem there, you didn't mean his brain. I'm talking about the same thing. The problem is here. But it isn't physical." Doctor Sheldon seemed confused. She was a scientist after all. Even Light was having trouble catching on.

"You mean emotionally? Isn't that the same thing as psychological?" Jackie shook his head.

"No. I…I'm having trouble explaining. But I felt it earlier." A deep red color suddenly came to the dark man's cheeks. He was very embarrassed about the things he was saying and the things he was about to suggest. "If this is a demon we're dealing with, and if this demon was inside L and did something to him, then…then…this issue isn't psychological…it's spiritual."

Doctor Sheldon and Light both gaped at him. Jackie slowly removed his hand from L's chest. He stood up tall and turned to face the two stunned people in the bedroom. Jackie's face was dead serious. And Doctor Sheldon knew very well that Jackie would have _never_ joked about something like that in a hundred years. Still, it was a shock to hear. She had never heard Jackie speak about the supernatural before. He never even mentioned what religion he belonged to, if any. Both pairs of eyes, blue and caramel continued to gape.

"Y…you mean…this is supernatural?" Jackie nodded slowly.

"I think it would be best…if perhaps we contacted the local priest or pastor instead of a psychologist." Light shook his head in disbelief. Religion was something he had never been involved with in all his life. He had never gone to church. He'd never read a Bible or even taken any classes on Christianity at all with exception of history class. And here Jackie was saying…

"Wait," Light said, lifting a hand. "There's so many religions in the world, why pick a priest?" Jackie seemed amused by Light's answer.

"You're in a small upstate New York town, Light. Good luck finding a Buddhist temple or some monks." Light's face quickly grew warm. Jackie of course was right, and Light should have known as much. The only religious branches available to them were forms of Christianity, or Judaism. Nothing else was in the little town. And Light was painfully aware that the majority of the towns people all visited the same few handful of churches every Sunday.

Still feeling uneasy, and not exactly knowing why, Light tried to analyze the situation. It made sense to try and combat a demon with whatever opposite it had. The opposite of a demon would be an angel, right? And if a demon existed, then angel's had to also. If they were going to accept supernatural things, they would have to accept all supernatural things. They couldn't limit themselves to one thing and not another. Logic argued that if Kira was real, which Light could never doubt again, then so where angels. And if demons were real, then so was the devil. And if the devil was real, and so were demons and angels, then God had to be real too. Whatever form or name he may take, there had to be some form of higher power.

Light scoffed bitterly. He hated the idea. He'd never had a problem with _other_ people believing such things, but he himself never wanted to. He was a firm believer of being in charge of his own destiny. His decisions were his own, and his own alone. He picked his own path. No one was guiding him; that he felt sure of. Besides, if a God like that were real, wouldn't He have done something to prevent Kira from coming to earth and wreaking such havoc? Why would he just sit back and watch? Why would he let Lawliet get hurt like this?

Light fumed. He felt he was only getting angry. And his turmoil and swirling thoughts were painfully obvious to both Sheldon and Jackie.

"Light," Sheldon said. "As a doctor…I can actually agree with what Jackie has said. If this so called demon is real, and you accept that it's real, then you should also accept the other aspects of the supernatural. You don't need to kill yourself over all the questions this raises. Just focus on the fact that a preacher may be able to help."

"We have nothing to lose," Jackie added. "If it doesn't work, then no harm will befall Lawliet because of it. And even if I'm wrong and it is only psychological, perhaps having someone come to the house will make Lawliet feel better. If he believes in it even a little, even if it isn't true, it will help him."

Light sighed. It seemed hard. But what they were saying made sense. He didn't need to believe in it. There was no risk involved. But it still felt so awkward. Why exactly? He didn't know. But he did know that there could be no harm. If nothing happened, then nothing happened, just as Jackie said. Light slowly righted himself, and turned to face the others. Grimly, he nodded.

"Ok…let's try that in the morning."

Unexpectedly, and without warning, there was a sudden groan from the bed. It was soft, almost inaudible. Doctor Sheldon and Jackie hadn't even been sure they'd heard anything, but Light reacted immediately. He whirled away from the pair he'd just been conversing with and bolted back to Lawliet's bedside. He fell to his knees in an instant, reaching out and gripping L's limp pale hand with both of his own.

"Lawli? Lawliet? Lawli?" Light squeezed the poor thin hand, crushing the bones of his stricken lover together. L's face immediately tensed with pain, wrinkles embeded themselves around his eyes and mouth. He rolled his head to the side to let it rest on the pillow, and then his dark rimmed eyes fluttered open slowly. The dark orbs beneath focused drowsily on his partner.

"I know Raito was worried but…Raito doesn't need to hurt me…" Light blinked letting out a small 'ah,' then he quickly and immediately released L's hand. It flopped back down to the mattress like dead weight. Doctor Sheldon and Jackie hurried to gather at the other side of the bed when they saw that L was awake and talking. Before either of them had a chance to say or do anything, Light had gotten up off of the floor and had crawled up onto the bed with L. He sat on its edge on his knees, leaning over his love with an expression of worry that could put a puppy to shame.

"Lawliet! How do you feel? Are you ok?" L gazed at Light with a bit of haze to his expression. _How do I feel?_ He looked away from Light, and he hadn't even bothered to meet Jackie or the doctor's eyes yet. He instead focused on something that seemed far away; his dark eyes only somewhat present. He was feeling a deep array of things. The most prominent of these emotions was fear. He was afraid. Afraid of Kira. Afraid of the terrifying new possibilities that Kira's physical manifestation suggested. If demons were real…what could they do? What could they possibly do? It was over. They couldn't ever hope to win against such a thing, such power. He was terrified. And more over, he felt wounded. That pain he experienced when Kira had been inside…had not fully vanished. The intensity of it had ebbed a bit, yes, but it was still there. Like his insides had been twisted, or soiled. He felt almost like something was rotting inside. It felt…black. It seemed like a silly description, one couldn't _feel_ a color…but he just had no idea how to describe such a thing. He didn't know what had happened to him, or what was wrong. All he knew for certain was…

"…it still…hurts…" Light watched in utter and complete dismay as the eyes he loved so much, the ones he was used to seeing crinkle shut in joy, instead filled with more pain. L's dark brow furrowed together, wrinkles seemingly making permanent residence in his forehead. His dark eyes became glossy as even more tears started to spill out of them. L turned away from Jackie and doctor Sheldon, curling up on his side as if he'd been struck in his abdomen. His thick, dark hair covered his face like ink. And just as he had before in the car, he began to tremble.

Light's heart pounded. It ripped itself in two. No…it shredded itself into tissue paper. No…better yet, it felt as if it had been ripped out of his chest and had been thrown down onto cement, and now it was being crushed into the concrete by someone's heel. No…even that could not compare the feeling he suffered from. Light could not explain the pain he was in at watching L suffer even after it was all over. The pain at not being able to do anything, help in anyway, was insufferable. He was helpless. Light knew there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do. No words of comfort would work. Not this time.

Jackie glanced Doctor Sheldon's way. She lifted her head and their eyes met. Both wore chiseled expressions. Finally, Doctor Sheldon gave a curt nod. She believed Jackie now. This was L after all. The infamous L. He may have changed from what he once was, he may have become 'soft' as many described, but Sheldon knew plenty well that L wasn't crazy. Despite what some believed…L had never been crazy. He was smart, a genius. And he was tough to boot. He may have been a little…strange, he may have had a few oddities and minor afflictions, but he wasn't insane. He wouldn't say he was suffering, he wouldn't cry in front of strangers…unless it was something excruciatingly unbearable. Psychological or spiritual…whatever the cause…something was harming L.

CRASH!

Everyone in the room jumped in alarm as suddenly the bedroom door was flung open, swinging violently into the opposite wall. When they turned to see what the ruckus was, they found James. He stood in the doorway, looking as if he'd literally been dragged through Hell and back again. He was soaking wet, probably from the snow storm. His usually thick dark hair was matted against his ice, white, skin. He looked half frozen. Ice was caked on his heavy wooden coat, and more disturbingly, so was blood. The dark red liquid seemed to have frozen in splotches to the front and side of his body. The man was breathing heavily, gasping for air. Clearly he'd just worked very hard at something. His usual cheer was nowhere to be found. He looked haggard, exhausted, and his eyes were haunted.

"James…" the soft, worried voice had come from Jackie. But his partner had only the time to take one step, before Light had launched himself at the weary man. There had been no time to act, and no one had been expecting it as Light raced forward, reeled back his fist and crunched it into James's face.

"Light!"

James crumpled almost immediately to the floor, his knees giving way. He fell to his side, a huge crash of his body hitting the floor resonated through the house. Light was not done. He leapt on top of the fallen man, grabbing him by his collar. He yanked his head up off the floor, making him face him. Light trembled in a rage, his face tense with fire and grief. His deadly eyes glimmered with the same tears as his partners.

"_What the fuck is wrong with you?" _he screamed. _"You were supposed to be guarding him! You were his bodyguard! His protector! I thought you were his friend too! Isn't Quillish Whammy paying you shit loads of money to take care of him? To watch him? Aren't you being paid more money than you could ever hope to spend? Are you in the secret service or what? You're highly trained! You're a professional! What the fuck were you doing?_" Light shook him violently. James didn't resist. And when Light's tears fell on him, his own started to form. When Light drew back his fist and hit him a second time, he simply took it without complaint.

**"**_**I hate you!"** _Light suddenly screamed in Japanese._ **"I hate you! Why? Why did this happen? Why is Lawliet always a victim? What did he do? Why didn't you save him! You were supposed to protect him while I was gone!"**_ He hit him a third time, then a fourth. He went to raise his hand a fifth time, and that was when Jackie was able to reach him. He grabbed his fist, halting it in midair.

"Light! Stop it!" Light continued to tremble and seethe, hot air rushing in and out from between clenched teeth. He just couldn't take anymore. Luckily, Jackie was large enough to put a stop to the situation. He simply wrapped his huge arms around the small Japanese man, and then he lifted him clear up off of James. Jackie put him back down onto his feet, then released him.

Light didn't go after James again. But this didn't seem to satisfy Jackie, whose face was for once, very readable. He was angry. And very disappointed.

"And they say you're a genius. How disgraceful! Did you stop to think about what James has been through tonight for one second? Do you have any idea what he's gone through to protect you and L?" Light remained silent. His chin dipped ever so slightly as he gasped for air. He knew he'd overreacted…but still…

"While we were all inside a warm, dry, safe house, James was dealing with the cleanup! He had to take care of the body by himself! He had to contact head quarters and report all that has happened! He had to follow whatever orders they gave him! I don't know what the orders were just yet, but I betchya anything they told him to get rid of the body! And we're thorough Light Yagami! He probably had to burn it, or chop Greg up into little pieces! Then he had to go back to the town hall and clean up that office hallway! Then he had to cover everyone's tracks for the night! Yours, mine, L's, his own, and anyone else who was involved! He probably had to talk to a bunch of the guests and make sure no one heard or saw anything! He may have even had to cancel that party and lock down the building!

James's a good man! He doesn't do any of this for money! He does it because it's _right_! I used to be like him once! I know how he is! He's in this job because he's nothing like me! He's in this job because he cares! He cares about you and L! And this is how you repay him?" Light's chin fell even further. His auburn hair fell across his brow, clearly showing that he was ashamed of how he acted. James, shaking, pushed himself up into a sitting position. He wiped at his bleeding lip with the back of his hand, smearing blood across his cheek instead of cleaning it away.

"…i…it…it's ok Jackie. He's upset for good cause. I…I couldn't…Greg…I tried to stop him…but I…"

"Don't you dare defend him! You did your best! No one could have been trained enough, or prepared enough for what happened tonight! No one could have expected a supernatural attack from a demon or whatever the hell Kira is. You did a _good_ job James!" James wiped at his face a second time, this way to clear away the water in his eyes. Clearly, it'd been a hard night for everyone.

"That Greg guy…he just disappeared you know. I was following him through the crowd to go kick him out, and then he just…I dunno. I lost sight of him. I…I'm usually so good at tailing. It's one of my specialties."

"It's ok." Jackie walked over to his downed partner. Once standing over him, he held out an offered hand. James stared up at his large, dark, partner. Then he smiled in a strained way.

"I never thought you'd start being nice to me. I guess I _did_ finally do something right." He reached out, taking his hand and Jackie lifted James to his feet with ease. Then he slapped him on the back, causing the smaller man to stumble from his ordeals.

"Why don't you get cleaned up. We can't do anything until the morning."

"That's not true," this came from Light, who seemed to have finally recovered from the shock of his shame. He faced the others. "In small towns like this, preachers are always on call. They're like doctors, aren't they? They come for emergencies. And I think this qualifies as one."

"Preacher?" Both James and L asked the question in unison. After all, neither had been informed of the new plan.

"Yes. We think Kira did something to Lawliet. Jackie suggested we get the help of a preacher. I guess to…uh…I dunno. Pray over him or something?" James was looking interested, but a little confused.

"Well what do you mean _did_ something?" Everyone was quiet at that. No one was really sure after all. They all glanced to one another awkwardly.

"Well…uh…"

"He came inside of me…" It was L's soft voice that broke the air. He carefully pushed himself up off of the mattress where he'd been laying. He looked like he were having a hard time, as if he were terribly weak. But still, he managed. Gently, he lay back against his pillow and headboard so that he was sitting up. Still curled slightly, he rested his hands on his shins. He faced James and the others.

"Kira…Kira forced his way inside. I don't understand…I don't understand how he was doing it but…he was killing me from the inside out." L sighed, his eyelids drooping. Clearly, it wasn't easy for him to admit to others that he didn't understand something. "I suppose…I hardly know anything about these matters, about…spiritual matters. But it feels…it feels to me like…like he has damaged something. Something important…inside of me." James blinked in a way that suggested he was a little confused about why this was hard for everyone else to understand. He very clearly had the answer and it was easy for him.

"You mean your soul." He said it in such a simple way that all of the realists, scientists, doctors and detectives in the room who always had relied on physical evidence, things they could prove, facts and data, were left baffled. They gaped at him. James wiped at his bleeding lip once more, then smiled at the group in something close to amusement.

"Don't tell me that none of you believe in the human soul." All four gazed up at the ceiling, or off to the side to contemplate the question. The silence that followed was deafening. James, despite his horrendous condition and his clearly weary, exhausted state, laughed out loud.

"You should see the four of you! All with the same expression on!" James seemed to know exactly what to do. He stepped over to L's bedside and up beside Light. Coming up to L's pillow, James suddenly reached out and put a hand on L's shoulder. L instinctively flinched, only because the person touching him wasn't Light and touch was still hard at times. Especially times when he felt he was injured or hurt in some way. But…it had the desired effect. It caused L to lift his eyes and look directly at James face. James…who was still smiling despite all the horror he'd witnessed that evening, despite the pain he must have been in from Light's attack, despite the emotional turmoil he clearly had felt just a moment ago, found the strength to support other.

"You'll be _fine_ L." L blinked, his dark eyes clearly confused.

"Wh…what…ho…how…?"

"You'll be fine," James repeated. "I know you aren't religious, but you don't have to be for these things to work. It's really very simple: nothing on this earth can ever take or harm your soul permanently unless you allow it to. You have to give it up willingly. You clearly fought very hard for it tonight, against something really powerful."

L still looked a little baffled, but he tried to follow James train of thought. He processed what he was saying, his dark eyes shifted furiously in his head.

" Y…you're saying…the thing that is damaged right now is my soul? And you're saying…that Kira…Kira can't harm us…unless we…allow him too?"

"No. You're close though." L looked back to James and realized then that James was trying to explain these spiritual things to him as if he were a child. L frowned. He didn't like being spoken to in such a way. Yet at the same time…he _felt_ like a child.

"Kira _can _hurt you, physically, but your soul is something he can't touch if you don't want him to. All you have to do in that area is deny him. When he was possessing you tonight, how did you escape?" L stared up at James. It was as if James already knew the answer. Maybe he did. Clearly, he understood things that no one else in the room was able to.

"I…I didn't escape. I didn't do anything special. He just…he just left me. All on his own."

"No. Surely not," James said immediately. "He wanted to kill you, right? You said he was inside of you, that he was killing you from the inside out, that he was damaging something important inside. I doubt he would have stopped on his own if he could have killed you."

L agreed. Kira never would have stopped. He very clearly wanted him dead. He'd wanted him to suffer. And if what James was saying was accurate…then…Kira had been trying to steal his soul? It sounded so absurd. L wasn't even sure why he was playing along. Perhaps because…he couldn't find another explanation.

It was then that L remembered. His eyes widened and his cheeks turned a bright red color. He looked away from James, embarrassed. James only smiled.

"You asked for help from someone, didn't you? Even if you weren't sure you believed in it, or that it could ever work." L nodded curtly. Light's eyes widened with surprise. "It's that easy sometimes." L faced James then, quickly and unexpectantly, his face full of desperation.

"Then why do I still feel this way? Like a chunk of me is missing? If Kira couldn't succeed, then why does it hurt so much?"

"For the same reason anything hurts. You were attacked, viciously, L. By a demon. By a specific demon that you fear the most out of everything else on this planet. You were brutally invaded. You're hurting in the same way other people on this planet hurt when they feel heartache, when someone dies, if they've been wronged or abandoned. You're hurting because Kira failed. You still have your soul. If you didn't, it wouldn't hurt, because you'd be dead." L looked away then, his dark eyes sad. Clearly, he'd been hoping for a quick fix, perhaps by some magic that the preacher could do. James was saying it didn't work that way.

"You'll heal pretty quickly, I promise. You already have after all. You don't feel nearly half as bad as you did when it first happened, do you?" L whirled on James, a look of anger and hurt in his eyes at the fact that James would dare be so presumptuous, but…the thing was, that he was right. L glowered at him for only a few seconds, then looked away a second time. James took no offense.

"So then what do we do now? How do we make sure this kind of thing doesn't happen again?" This was from Light. Clearly, no matter what he believed, he, like L, was willing to try this new way of thinking. Anything at all to help. Anything at all to protect Lawliet. Anything at all…to not feel so utterly useless. He wanted a game plan, he wanted to act.

"Well, I suspect Kira will keep coming after you guys right? I can teach you a few tricks. But I'm no expert. I'm thinking we should visit the preacher anyway, even if not for L's condition. He might know what to do about a demon. I've certainly never run into a problem like this before." Light was not amused, even if James seemed to be.

"Fine. We'll figure it out in the morning. As long as Lawliet's in no immediate danger."

"He'll be fine," James said again. L twitched. He was getting tired of James's confidence in the speed of his recovery. But he didn't say anything…he just wanted it to be over.

Doctor Sheldon suddenly sighed from the corner. Her arms crossed, her face fixed with an expression of annoyance, she spoke.

"Well I guess it was just emotional or psychological after all. I certainly don't believe in any of this religious nonsense. I'm going home. I'm way beyond tired."

"Wait doctor, the storm," Jackie said. "Why don't you spend the night? Drive home safely in the morning. I'll call head quarters for you and tell them we're snowed in. It's the truth after all." Sheldon hesitated, she didn't seem happy about the idea of spending the night with the group she was currently stuck with.

"I dunno. I'm surrounded by a bunch of whackos."

"It's better than getting into a car accident." But of course, Light didn't seem thrilled by the idea either. He knew everyone would be staying. They had the room. But still…he was starting to miss the alone time with Lawliet that he used to have. He couldn't even remember the last time they'd had sex. He sighed in frustration, throwing up his hands in surrender.

"I'll go get the sheets for the guest room." Light begrudgingly left the bedroom, Sheldon followed, eager to just hop into bed without a shower or dinner.

"James, you should clean up and take the couch, I can watch over L and Light tonight." James nodded at his partner.

"Thanks. I'm about dead on my feet as it is. There's no way I'd possibly be able to take another shift." His hand having been on L's shoulder the entire time, gently slipped off and away. L immediately reached back out, grabbing onto James's wrist.

"Wait!" James stopped and turned, a questioning look on his features. L, cheeks still pink from embarrassment, glanced to the side and mumbled,

"Is there anything…special I should do…before…going to sleep? R…r…r…religiously? Something I can do…to…to protect myself?" James stared at L briefly, then smiled warmly.

"Just ask God to protect you." L stared up at James, clearly lost at this simple sentence. James smiled again. "You need something physical, don't you? Here." James took his hand out of L's grip, then suddenly reached into his jacket pocket. He pulled out a mini book of sorts. It was old, tattered and ripped on its corners. Clearly it had been read many times and had been well loved. He handed it to L. L took the mini book in his hands and flipped it over to his front. It read 'The Holy Bible.' L blinked at it, clearly just as confused about what to do with this thing than he was about James's words of advice.

"You don't have to read it if you don't want to. Just hold onto it. God knows when you're calling to him. I just thought something physical might make it easier for you. You seem like the type who needs to see things and feel things in order for them to be real." L turned the Bible over in his hands, inspecting it from all sides, but he never opened it. He seemed curious, but cautious.

"You know James…I've read the bible before, front to finish. I needed to know it for a case I once did. The serial killer I was after was leaving notes, with hints from passages in the bible. I read the entire thing to make sure I could understand my quarry. I never got any supernatural sense from it. I never felt any…magical thing from it." James's smile only remained.

"That's because it was just facts to you at the time. It has a different meaning for you now. The bible can change as many times over as it needs to in order to help the person who's reading it. The first time you read it, it helped you catch a murderer who was trying to soil its words." L slowly lowered the book. His dark eyes held onto James magnetically with an expression close to wonder. James…so stupid seeming at times…suddenly appeared very insightful. L felt that he very much liked the last viewpoint he expressed. The bible had indeed been the key piece of evidence in that case. And it had acted as a translator for L. It taught him how to understand and communicate with his target.

L found a small smile tugging at his lips when he thought about it that way. Maybe…the way he'd been thinking all along…about how there could be no God because God never saved him from any pain was wrong. Maybe…he'd been there all along, helping him, and guiding him, and L had just never wanted to see it.


	22. The Unspoken Subject

The next day was so brilliant and so beautiful, that it was hard for anyone to have believed that such evil had taken place the night before. November first was nothing short of gorgeous. The sky was so blue, that no painting or picture made by man could have ever captured its true color. And lying just beneath the brilliant brightness of such color, was the shining white of the earth.

The snowstorm had left them in the early hours of morning, and what it offered behind its wake of destruction was beauty as far as the eye could see. The entire land was blanketed in soft, white, glory. Every twig on every tree had a layer of white on top of it. Icicles decorated the bungalows gutters, powder dusted the porches railings. The wind had been so furious, that even up underneath the overhang, the small swing on the wooden porch was blanketed as well. Everything was coated in what seemed like a layer of magic.

And that magic wasn't lost inside the bungalow either. All five inhabitants awoke to the dawn of a new day. And with the banishment of the dark and the appearance of the light, spirits were much higher than expected. Several of the souls stirred and groggily made their way out of their beds. A few went in and out of the bathroom. Others still helped themselves to food in the kitchen.

Doctor Sheldon however wanted to leave the house as soon as possible. After leaving her business card on the table, she headed outside to start dusting the several inches of snow and ice off of her vehicle.

Jackie switched places with James after he awoke. The large man crashed in the guest bedroom as the smaller of the two went to the shower to wash off the grime from the night before a second time. One shower simple hadn't been enough. Once fully clean, he looked much better. He'd suffered a few bruises, mostly to his face from Light's attack, but that was mostly all.

Light however, did not get up for the hustle and bustle. He stayed right where he was meant to: at L's side. L slept much longer than any of them, taking his sleep into the early hours of the afternoon. Light at first, wanted to worry. After all, L was always an early bird. He got up in the wee hours of the morning. He never slept for very long. But after last nights ordeals, Light told himself it was only natural. And proving him right was L's awakening at one in the afternoon. Bible still clutched to his chest, for he'd held it all night long, he arose.

Light was happy to see he had his strength back; or rather, most of it. He was able to stand and move about as he normally would. That didn't mean he wanted too. It took a great deal of coaxing to get him to do more than just go to the bathroom and then return to bed. But once he was up, he seemed better.

L, Light and James all met in the kitchen for breakfast. Light was the one to cook today. As he'd learned over the past few years living with L, L was a terrible cook. And so, most of the time, Light did what he could, even when he'd had a job. He used to cook large dinners so L would have leftovers for lunch the next day while he was at the office.

Light sighed then as he flipped one of the eggs. He missed working. He had actually enjoyed his job. Fixing up computers wasn't the worst employment he could have taken. And he had great coworkers too, Sheryl excluded of course. But Byte had always been a laugh. And now, after all that'd happened…

"Raito?" L's soft voice, as always, brought him out of his thoughts and back to the reality around him. He glanced over his shoulder as he cooked and to the dining room table which was clearly visible from where he stood. L sat in his usual chair, having picked the one closest the door to the living room since the day they moved in. He was curled, the bible James had given him was still in his grasp. Light let out a small 'hmph.' How long was he going to carry that stupid thing around?

"Raito…how did you get out of jail?" Light's busy hands stopped moving for only a second. That was right. Last night's events had been so insane, that he had never explained to L why he was free in the first place. And as far as Light was concerned…it wasn't good news. He knew L would be upset by Sheryl's escape.

He didn't answer at first. Light continued to cook his eggs until they were done. He didn't want to forget about them and have them burn during his explanation. L was patient, seeming to know exactly what Light was doing. Light smiled softly. L always knew his ways.

Light flipped the eggs onto a plate next to the toast he had made. Then, turning the stove off, and leaving the frying pan on top of the hot burner, for Light had never forgotten how badly L had burned his hand that one time back in Atlanta, he picked up the plate of food and headed to the table.

Here, the dishes were already set for three. Cups already out and juice inside of them, Light served all three plates. James, who'd been inspecting the magnets they had on their refrigerator, came right over at the smell of food. He sat down at the place set up for him. Out of politeness, he waited until Light was seated also. But once all three were served and seated, he started eating merrily. Light watched as L's eyes moved to him with a type of curiosity.

"You don't pray before your meals," he observed. "I've seen you eat many times before too. Aren't you a religious man?" James paused in his eager spearing, chewing and hacking, fork poised with a piece of egg already in his mouth. Carefully he swallowed, then he smiled as bright as he always has. Withdrawing the fork he answered.

"I usually save that for big important meals, like Thanksgiving. But I have a few friends who do indeed pray over every meal. But I found it grows too repetitive. God knows I'm thankful for the food. And I save anything else I want to tell him for later."

He went right back to eating, clearly, very much enjoying Light's cooking skills.

"Mmm-Mmm! Light these eggs are delicious! What did you put in them?" But Light was busy wrinkling his nose. For some reason…it bothered him that L would bother to ask such a pointless question. Why ask James such a thing? Would it help them defeat Kira in anyway? He didn't think so. Why bother to ask about something as frivolous as praying over food?

Light was starting to worry that L was buying into all of this religious nonsense. Why else ask something like that? It couldn't have been for research. Light let out a sigh. Then he turned to look at L to try and get an answer out of studying his face, and found L was already staring at him, with his usual dark, mysterious gaze. He was as blank as a slate this morning and impossible to read.

"I was curious," he said suddenly. "About James's personality. That is all Raito." L seemed to understand Light had been displeased with his question. But Light's gaze drifted back down to the tiny bible L was _still_ holding. It sparked a bit of anger in him. L saw his partner's expression change. Never one to back down from something, just because Light didn't like it, he for once, lowered the book so it was at least out of sight. Resting it in his curled lap, he reached out and grabbed his own fork.

"Jail, Raito," he reminded. "How did you get released?" Happy to have the subject moving onto something else, even if he wasn't so pleased with L's brisk speech, Light answered.

"They discovered Sheryl's hospital bed empty yesterday morning. After watching the security tape, they confirmed that she's run away from the hospital. Obviously, she can't press charges against me if she's missing. And moreover, because she's a suspect herself in your poisoning, the authorities are taking it as an informal confession. Why would an innocent woman run from the hospital just after surgery after all? And so, I've been completely cleared. They had to process all the paperwork, which is why I wasn't released until evening."

Light had been cutting up his eggs, and hadn't been looking at his partner as he explained the details. But when he didn't get an immediate reaction as he was expecting he looked up.

Immediately Light was startled. The small amount of color L had in his skin was completely gone. It was now an ash-white color; and his eyes were as huge as they once used to be as he gazed in something close to horror at his partner. Light, not understanding his fear instantly, of course grew concerned.

"Lawli? What is it?" L was quiet for a few seconds, seemingly completely frozen, fork still delicately poised at the end of his peacock feather fingers. The silver prongs of the utensil shivered.

"K…K..Kira," he finally answered. But of course, this didn't really help Light too much. Kira, of course, was a traumatic word for L to speak, but what it had to do with Sherly and Lights released from jail was…

"I figured it all out last night, while Kira was mocking me and dropping hints. Kira had been possessing Sheryl all this time. Possibly for the past year or so." It was Light's turn to pale. He stopped cutting his eggs, his utensils falling as still as L's. James was no exception to this freezing escapade. He stopped eating as well, his full attention now on the situation before him. L carefully lowered his fork, placing it on the plate before him so he could explain.

"Last night, Kira revealed almost everything to me. How he had been riding inside of you, Raito, all this time. Ever since we'd defeated him in Japan, he's remained dormant. He'd been unable to control you since that time, because you had rejected him, and because you recognized what he was. He had no power over you from the day you fell in love with me…" L's pale cheeks suddenly became a soft shade of pink and his dark eyes darted to the side. Light could not help but to think it was strikingly cute. Even though they'd been together for so long, it still embarrassed L a little to say such a thing in the company of anyone other than Light.

"Since that time, he'd been trying to figure out a way to get free from you, and also how to enslave you once more. He expressed to me his desire to possess you, and only you as his final target, because you're intellect was desirable. He does not want me, because he considers me troublesome, and he seems to understand that I would rather die than allow him to play host within me. But you…" L lifted his dark gaze, the blush now gone, and captured Light's eyes. "You he believes he can corrupt a second time. His plan last night was to kill me. And you, in your grief and rage, would accept him in exchange for the power he would give you. I'm unsure to as why he thinks you would accept him, as my murderer, back into yourself, but this is what he was thinking regardless."

Light knew very well that L had plenty more to say, but he was pausing here. Light immediately understood why. He wanted Light to answer. And Light knew exactly what he wanted to hear. Light's suspicions were confirmed when he met his loves gaze. L's eyes were darker, and more burrowing than usual. They gripped Light's attention, never wavering. Light smiled softly. So L needed to hear it then?

"It's ok Lawliet. I'd never let that bastard anywhere near me ever again, no matter what I might be feeling." He watched as L relaxed, his intense gaze releasing him. Light knew…that Light being possessed by Kira once more, was the worst nightmare L could ever imagine. After all…L still had nightmares about their days back in Japan, and there had been plenty of nights when Light had woken him…only to find that L could still believe he was Kira for a few terrifying moments. The idea of his only love being his worst enemy…must have been petrifying for him.

"Kira won't touch me," Light assured a second time. L was glancing away now, most likely to hide the emotions that always played across his hidden eyes. Without hinting at anything, or admitting to anything else, L continued.

"I have no doubt after hearing this news, that Kira had been possessing Sheryl until sometime yesterday. He had to have prompted her to leave the hospital. I imagine she would have been severely drugged after her surgery. It would take supernatural forces to get someone in that much pain, and under such heavy drugs to leave a hospital and do something as drastic as run out into the freezing night temperatures. I imagine…Kira has hidden her away somewhere so that he can repossess her when he needs to at a later date. Of course…this plan of his would only work, if Sheryl is a willing participate in this scheme. Meaning…she's ignorant of what's happening to her, much like you once were Raito."

Light let out an indignant 'hmph' and immediately crossed his arms over his chest. He shifted his now cool gaze to the side. But…he couldn't argue. After all, neither himself nor L had understood that Kira was a demon and not a split personality until very recently.

"If all of my deductions are correct, than after my encounter with him last night, Kira would have had to retreat to another human body to recover. But…hmm…" Both James and Light looked to L as he started to puzzle over something. Light almost immediately understood where he had hit his snag.

"We need to know if Kira has a range," Light offered.

"Yes," L confirmed.

"Range?" James inquired.

"Yes, a range. There are many questions that need to be answered and will be vital in our fight against Kira. Like, how far away does he need to be in order to possess someone? Lets' say if he were here in this room: could he leap from me into you? Or do we need to be physically touching? Or perhaps he has the power to leap into someone from someone else and entire mile away, or three. And if he was forced out of someone's body, like how he was forced out of mine last night, would he immediately need a host? Or could he float around as a black cloud for days at a time? All of these questions will limit how far we can go in understanding our qua…quarry…"

Light had almost completely forgotten how personal this case was for L…until his last stutter. His tones had been the same as they were back when he was a detective. His thinking, just as solid, his face just as stone. But when Light looked over at him now…he saw him trembling in his chair. His chin dipped ever so slightly so that his thick black hair slid over his eyes, hiding the fear that undoubtedly lurked there. Then he saw him reach back down into his lap and grip the book he had hidden from Light's sight out of consideration for him.

Light couldn't have cared about the bible at that moment. He was focused on L. And he saw that his trembling lessened ever so slightly when he gripped his little black book. Light sighed inwardly. It was as Jackie said the night before: it didn't matter if this spiritual stuff was real or not…if it made L feel any better at all…even if only a tiny bit…then let him have it. At least…until Light had something better to offer him. But as of the moment, he didn't know how they could combat a supernatural demon. And Light was even more painfully aware…that he could not protect L against something like that.

Light, not caring for his breakfast anymore, slowly stood up, sliding his chair back against the linoleum. He took the few steps necessary around the table, so he could reach his partner. Then he sat back down in the chair beside him and scooted it in close so they were side by side. Then he lifted his arm and curled it tightly around L's shaking shoulders. At least…he could offer him some company and support.

"If all of your deductions are true, and they always are Lawli, then our best bet…would be to find Sheryl. If we find her, we can explain to her what's happening, that the voices inside of her head aren't for her best interest. As someone who's been possessed by Kira before, I know that the reason he was able to control me is because I thought that the things I was hearing were coming from myself. I thought those things were my thoughts, my feelings and desires. He's probably doing the same to Sheryl. I bet you we can turn her onto our side. If we take away Kira's safe house, he'll be lost without a body. And I bet that's really bad for him. He'll be weak without a physical form."

L loved Light's company. He loved the physical touch he was receiving. It, as always, comforted him. He leaned into Light's side.

"Yes…I'd imagine he would not possess people at all if he could get away with being in his shapeless form all the time, or even take a form of his own. It must mean, that at least on earth, he must be within someone else. But…we still don't know what to do with him once he's outside of someone. What do we do with him once he's in his smoke form? How do we banish him? I imagine he's immortal…" Slowly, L lifted his gaze from up off of Light's chest, and turned it to James who had been sitting silently and listening the entire time very carefully.

"James," L said. "Does your religion say anything about demons and how to rid them from earth?" For a few seconds, James was very quiet. His face was serious. Much more serious than either Light or L was used to seeing it. Normally he was laughing, or joking, or goofing around. But not this time. L decided he looked much older when he was serious about something. He didn't appear nearly as immature, but much wiser.

"Well…" he started carefully. "Everything you've said so far…about how Kira possesses people, and how he cannot possess people or harm them if they reject him…seems to coincide with my beliefs. But as I said earlier, I have no experience with real demons. Only things that I've read…" He seemed very unsure of himself, nervous even. Perhaps it was just the subject of such evil truly existing in real life. Or maybe it was the fact that Light very clearly was opposed to his beliefs.

"Please James," L prompted softly, encouragingly, yet also his tones carried an urgent demand at the same time. "Any information at all will be useful. I'll need to do some intense research on this subject. I plan on researching all religions, and every superstition that involves dark supernatural beings. As always, I won't be leaving any bit or corner unexplored. But we're also on a time limit. I'm not protected as I once was. I cannot spend days or even weeks on end preparing myself under Quil's intense defenses and protection. We're exposed. And as much as I am grateful for your protection and the secret services, and Jackie's, I fear there is little to do against Kira unless we know what weapons are available to us to combat him. I do not care how ridiculous or inconsequential you may think you're knowledge is. I'd still like to hear it."

James had broken out into a cold sweat while L was speaking to him. He didn't bring up the subject of his religion very often. Mostly because he'd seen people react poorly to it on several occasions. Not everyone was as open and as understanding as L was being now. James had found in his lifetime that a lot of people could not tolerate beliefs different from their own. He'd heard an old wise saying once, that fearing things that are different is simply being human. But James had met plenty of people who had their own set of beliefs far different from his own who had no problem with him as a human being. L was now one of them. As far as James could tell, L didn't currently believe in anything other than facts, science, and Light Yagami.

All James really felt like he wanted to do with his life was to help people. He'd discovered that this wasn't always achieved in the ways some others believed. Sometimes, helping someone meant being quiet and listening. But now…now he was being asked to bring his beliefs out into the open and to lay them out on the table so L could dissect them. It was somehow nerve wracking.

"Well…there's one passage that comes to mind almost immediately," he started nervously. But with only one encouraging look from the once great detective, James continued. "There's this once scripture, where Jesus is walking toward a town and he passes a man who's possessed by a demon. The demon recognizes who Jesus is and asks Jesus if he would permit him to go possess a nearby herd of pigs instead of the man he was currently in. Jesus allows him to and the demon goes into the herd. The herd of pigs, immediately became mad, and they ran themselves down a cliff and into the ocean, where they all drowned." James's cheeks quickly pinkened. Mainly because of the odd look Light was sending his way. He smiled embarrassingly and rubbed the back of his neck. "It…it doesn't say what became of the demon after that. I always assumed it was sent back to hell somehow after drowning."

"Hmm…" L was already pondering about it. But Light seemed a lot less open. His eyes narrowed, his face contorting into the expression he usually wore when he was ready to say something sarcastic. He'd just opened his mouth when, 'whap!' A soft pop on top of his head was given by the side of a flat, open, pale, hand. It hadn't hurt at all, but all the same, Light was seriously offended when he turned to see the disapproving look on L's face. L wasn't shaken in the slightest.

"Don't say a word Raito. It took James a lot of courage to tell us that scripture. Think what you will of it. Even if it doesn't help us in the end, he's trying his best, and he answered my question." Light felt his insides tighten. He immediately stood up, and having been so close to L, this jostled the skinner man quite a bit. He was forced to grab onto the sides of his chair, lest he tumble out of it. But the heat Light felt inside his chest and on his face did not subside at the sight of it. Insulted, and _very_ unhappy at how he was just treated, he couldn't bring himself to even shout an insult. He let out a quick rush of air, then stormed out of the kitchen. James frowned.

"Do not worry about Raito. I know why these things bother him so much. I'll speak with him later. For now, I wanted to thank you for your story. If it matches up with other things that I'll be researching and other religions and supernatural texts, it may mean that in order for a demon to be expelled, it may need to die inside of a host. Better a pig than a man. Regardless, it's too early to know anything."

James fidgeted in his seat. He didn't like seeing Light so upset. And he knew very well it was because of his religious beliefs and the fact that L was speaking with him so easily about it. James knew that L had never been religious before. He and Light most likely had lived a life free of any sort of spirituality. Even in all of their dealings with the death note, and shinigami, James could see L handling it all in a very cool matter, thinking and discussing the possibility of Kira being some sort of God with his coworkers…yet…never letting such subjects touch him in any real way. He was doing something similar now. James saw how collected and rational he was being, despite the subject matter, and how close and personal this case was. But…James also knew it probably just wasn't the same. This time…L was holding a bible. It was a clear indication that even if L didn't really think he believed in anything…he was still willing to head in a different direction if it meant keeping him safe from a monster that had been chasing him for years.

"Do not concern yourself with my and Raito's relationship." James blinked, and raised his head as L spoke again. L seemed as stoic as ever, yet James got the sense that he was concerned. "Light would be unsettled by the discussion of any sort of belief of any kind. It isn't personal, and it has very little to do with you or Christianity. He must believe that he is in total control of himself, his life, and even those around him in order for him to feel secure. My very existence was a challenge for him when we first met, because I was one person that he could not manipulate. He's acting in a similar fashion now. Because any sort of supernatural being means he has no control over certain aspects in his life or the world around him. It frightens him." L sighed briefly and looked to the window just above the kitchen sink. The day outside was growing even more beautiful by the second. A splot of snow fell from the gutters and to the white ground beneath, indicating that the day may warm up later, and all the snow they just had the night before could melt in a few hours.

"There are many other reasons for him to dislike beliefs like yours…but they are personal, and I would not feel right revealing them to you." James heard very clearly L's sorrowful tones and knew right away that Light must have suffered in some way that L didn't want to share with him. Did it have something to do with being possessed by Kira? James was sure it was. He couldn't imagine what that would have been like. But of course, being as spiritual as he was, he couldn't imagine turning away from all types of religion afterward. Clearly, L seemed to 'get it,' whatever 'it' may have been. L faced James once more, and with the additional information of his dark eyes, James could see that L was hurting for his partner. L understood that Light's discomfort went a little deeper than even Light himself had yet to recognize.

"I'll discuss it seriously with him later. He'll be fine," pause. "_We'll_ be fine. For now, some more information from you would be useful. What does your religion say about killing a demon? Is this possible? Or are they as immortal as they seem?"

L stayed in the kitchen with James to discuss and dissect a lot more about James's particular beliefs in great detail before L would start on his research of other religions and supernatural texts. And as the two sat in the kitchen, Light had gone outside. Even staying in the house had been too much for him. He could scarcely stand it. He felt somewhat sick. The entire concept of Christianity was infuriating to him.

Granted he knew very little about it, but he felt he knew enough. Didn't Christianity say that God loved everyone? How absurd! The very idea was ludicrous. If God loved everyone, then there would be no evil, no hell, and certainly no demons. If God loved everyone, He would have protected the creatures He'd created and loved. If He loved everyone, including Light and L, then He certainly, most certainly would have never let Light get possessed by some demonic spirit. And He never, _ever_, would have let L suffer in the many different ways that he had. A man like Webber…never would have existed. And Light just _knew_ that if God loved L at all, than He could not also love Webber. No. No fucking way.

Light stormed across the porch, completely ignoring the thin layer of powder that the wind had blown across it, and into the front yard. He had considerably more of a difficult time storming across the front lawn; the snow had piled up several inches. But clearly this did not deter him in the slightest. Fueled by his raging thoughts and his building wrath, he cared not for his gorgeous surroundings or even for the difficulty he was having carving a way through the seven or so inches of snow. In fact, he seemed to relish the challenge. It gave his anger a physical outlet.

But he was only half way down the driveway, or the place where he thought the driveway would be beneath the snow, when he realized he had no destination. But a destination didn't really matter. He was so angry that he couldn't possibly stop moving. He had to be in motion. And so, he simply turned around and started storming the other way back toward the porch, re-walking the groove through the snow he'd just made and ignoring the biting wet and cold that had soaked through the bottom half of his pants.

Light recognized right away that he was too brilliant for his own good. Because the moment his first argument seemed complete, a second argument came up to challenge it. If God did everything Light thought he should, it meant God would take total control of everyone and everything on the face of the planet. Because the only way to prevent people from doing stupid things, or harmful things (and Light was painfully aware of just how stupid and harmful people could be) was to force them down a rule riddled path, to give them a destiny or fate that they could not escape. God would have to take away free will. People would be little more than puppets or slaves if Lights first scenario came true. Even if no one suffered and everyone was happy…there'd be no such thing as free will. That was why bad things happened in the first place, right? Because people had a choice?

"Ugh!" Light's hands went to his head where he gripped his silky caramel hair. It had always been a subject he avoided because there was no answer. Even when he was Kira, he believed that because there was no God to rule and take control, Light would. Light Yagami would do it. And he would form that perfect world where no one suffered, where only the righteous lived. And Light recognized now how ludicrous that truly was. His old beliefs echoed the same insanity as some of the hardcore bible thumping Christians out there, who believed life should be lived by a strict set of rules and boundaries that no true human being could ever hope to achieve or follow. If everyone acted that way…they wouldn't be human beings. They'd be slaves to a God who supposedly loved them all. L had been the very person to point this out to him long ago in Japan.

The bottom line was this…Light precious control would be taken away. He would have no control at all, over anything, even his own choices if a utopia type of world existed. No one would be allowed to make mistakes, or have a slip in judgment, or be greedy, or selfish. And Light sure as hell loved his freewill. He liked the power he had over himself and his own actions. The power to chose his own path. The power to be selfish if he so chose.

But still there had to be some sort of limit! Light couldn't bring himself to believe that God would allow L to be hurt in the ways he had. He should have stricken Webber down with a bolt of lightning.

_But then…he would have had to strike me down with a bolt of lightning too._ The thought was so sudden and so startling that Light ceased his pacing instantly, halfway down his snow trench. He found himself standing just in front of the porch, staring out at the sky and the trees around their little bungalow.

His almond shaped eyes grew wide with alarm. That was right. Light's heart thudded painfully in his chest as a subject he and L never spoke about suddenly arose. Light knew…he knew very well…that he had hurt L in a way Webber never could. Light had hurt L deeply; wounded him in his core. Because L had loved him and trusted him and had even given his heart when the detective knew very well that he shouldn't, that Light Yagami was his main suspect, that it was probably all a trick or a ruse. L had done it anyway. Light doubted the detective had any other choice at the time. No one can control who they fall in love with. Not even the great L. And L had fallen for the most dangerous man on the face of the earth.

Light had recognized that. And even though he'd been possessed by a demon, Light knew his choices had still been his own. He had _chosen_ to hurt L in any way he could. He'd toyed with his emotions; his emotions which had been so raw, so new, and so tender at the time. Light had played a mocking tune on his heart strings. He'd used L's feelings for him as a devastating weapon. Light had been…as cruel as he possibly could, yet still played the game well enough to keep L near.

Light would never ever forget the stories L had revealed to him back at the aquarium that fateful night. He would never forget how L had screamed, _screamed_ that he would have rather let Webber take him again than to have Light repossessed by Kira. Light could still hear the agony in his voice as L cried out about how much he truly hated Kira for having taken his Light away from him.

Light's heart pounded painfully in his chest. It sent waves of agony through him. _How could I?_ he wondered. _How could I be so cruel? So horrible? How could I have done such things? _Light remembered that painful evening when L had come to him in his bedroom, confessing his true name, putting his total faith, his total trust into Light. Believing with all he was that Light would not kill him once his name was revealed. And Light remembered his reaction. He remembered the rage. He remembered how he was completely taken over by Kira at that point. Kira…Kira and rage had swallowed him whole. And Light would never, ever forget the feel of cracking his knuckles into that pale, soft face. He would never forget the horror of shoving L's thin ankle into that dresser drawer…of the plan he'd had to slam it shut and snap that tender bone in half like a twig. The feel of his own hands closing, curling tightly around that thin, soft, tender throat. Light remembered the very feel of L's pulse, his heartbeat, fading away beneath the brutality of Light's crushing hands. He could still hear his gasping breath.

And L…the whole time…the entire time…L had faith in him. L had cried out to a dormant Light. He had bravely and boldly challenged Kira, telling the demon that Light would stop him, that Light would not allow Kira to kill him. It was that faith…that trust and devotion that had finally banished Kira away from him.

But even with all of that aside…the hard truth was the same: if God were to interfere with people's lives to save them, or to punish the truly wicked…not only would Webber be dead…but Light would be dead too. He would not have been given the chance to redeem himself. He wouldn't have had the chance to fight Kira and rid him from his body. He would have never had the opportunity to fall in love and start the most perfect life with L. If things went the way Light imagined…Light himself would have had to have been killed. For truly, who could ever be more evil than he himself was when he was Kira?

A hot, burning sensation suddenly came up, building a pressure behind his eyes. As Light's heart thudded, and his lungs wheezed, his breathing rash from his thoughts, liquid began filling his eyes. They almost immediately split over, rolling like pearls down his yellow skin. They hovered briefly on the edge of his jaw line, and then fell like rain to the trampled snow below his feet.

His heart was literally aching. It hurt so very much to think about the forbidden subject of what he had done to L, how he had hurt him. Light knew that he was no better than Webber. He knew very well that L had just as many nightmares about Kira as he did about the Australian monster from his youth. Light's deeds could not be erased with the love he now felt toward his once upon a time enemy. He had still carried out the deeds himself. And he'd carried them out through his freewill and through the choices he was able to make without a controlling God. He'd messed up. Big time. And he knew he would never feel clean from it. Just as how L once told him…that he would never feel clean from his experiences with Webber. They were both soiled. But knowing that he was part of the reason for L's darkness…was simply unbearable.

The tears came more quickly, his heart pounded incessantly. His lungs burned. His chest was tight. A quick sob escaped him. He immediately lifted a hand to cover his mouth. He wasn't one to usually cry like this. He certainly didn't want to be heard.

_Am I shaking?_ Light looked to his free hand to see that he was. He was shaking horribly. It was severe enough to be compared with Parkinson's. Shame quickly started to fill him.

"Raito?" The voice had come from behind him. Instinctively, Light turned to the open front door to see L standing in its frame, on hand placed on its side. But the moment their eyes met, his total shame grew by tenfold. He immediately turned away again, keeping his back to L. He certainly didn't want him to see him cry.

But of course, it was too late. L had seen. And even as Light turned away, Light had glimpsed the drastic change in his loves expression. Filled with sympathy and worry, L ran to his partner, bare feet plummeting through ice cold snow. He skipped the three steps that led from the porch down into the yard entirely, leaping over them, and immediately threw his arms around Light from behind. L wrapped Light up tight, squeezing him forcefully, almost painfully in his intensity. He immediately leaned his head in, smashing his pale nose into Light's tender neck. Kisses instantly rained down. L's lips closed on Light's soft skin repeatedly, over and over. And between those desperate kisses, L spoke.

"No Raito! No! I forgive you! Please! Please don't! Don't torment yourself! You were possessed! Those thoughts you had weren't yours! They were Kira's! You didn't hurt me on purpose! It's ok! Please…please don't cry." Having not said a word, L clearly understood the very thing that was tearing Light apart inside. After all…the unspoken subject, although unspoken, had been discussed in lengthily times of silence before. And clearly, Light's pain from it, was also L's. The dark haired man's ink colored eyes squeezed shut, and his own tears began to flow. He kissed Light's neck again, then buried his entire face in the Asian's shoulder.

"I forgive you! I've forgiven you a long, long time ago. I would never be with you if I hadn't. Raito…it's ok. I never blamed you! Don't cry…please. Don't be hurt…" L nuzzled into his distraught lover's skin, seemingly unable to get close enough, even with his death grip on him. Even with the cold of the air around them encouraging them to get closer for warmth, after all, neither had bothered to put on a jacket.

"I love you. I cannot see you hurt. I love you." Light could feel L's trembling now along with his own. It tore him to pieces. Even so, it's what helped him to calm down. The tears lessened, the pressure in his chest started to lift. L's words…were somehow healing. Simply hearing that he was forgiven, than L loved him…even though he already knew these things to be true…was an immense relief. And feeling his partners warm arms, his body and his muscle pressed into his own…was so uplifting. L was real. The most real thing Light had ever encountered in his entire life. He was solid and present at all times. L was L. And it was because Light loved him so that these subjects were so painful.

"Lawli…" Sensing that Light wanted to turn around to face him, L released Light from his death grip, briefly. But the moment Light turned, L threw himself at him once more, winding his thin arms tightly around him like a vice. Now facing one another, L bowed his head and reburied his face in Light's neck. Light lifted his own arms this time, and hugged L in return.

"I'm ok. Don't worry. I think…I think I've worked a few things out. I'm ok." L nodded, still keeping Light firmly in his grip. The corner of Light's mouth twitched upward. A smile tried to shine it's way fourth. Even after such a difficult thought process with himself, L's company…was still so special. Maybe now more than ever. Light leaned in and softly placed his own kiss on the tender white neck exposed to him.

Slowly, and carefully, as if the kiss were awakening a flower, L lifted his head. Both gazed at one another for a long moment, taking in the glimmering water in each other's eyes, and the emotions that swam there. Then there was no other choice, they leaned in. Kissing sweetly, the sun shining down on their forms, they grew lost in one another. The love each of them was feeling was far too powerful for them to hold in. The kisses became more frantic, as if they could not have enough of the other. Their breathing became thick and hefty. Even as the snow in the gutters on top of their bungalow began to melt in the warming sun, their heat intensified. Perhaps if the sun hadn't been doing its job, the two could have started to melt the snow themselves.

L applied more pressure, opening his mouth for his partner. Light hadn't even much of a chance to respond before L slipped his tongue forward for an even deeper kiss. His hands curled and he clutched at his partner in a desperate way. Their rising heat abolished the cold they were feeling only a moment ago. Now it seemed almost too hot, even out in the chilly November air.

Neither stopped moving. In fact, movements became more hectic. Light's hands had drifted away from the small of L's back and had glided downward. Now he was gripping his hips, one of his favorite places to put his hands. L was doing something similar, his thin fingers tracing lines across Light's moving back muscles.

It seemed the unspoken conversation only sparked a desire for them to be even closer. As close as possible. If only to prove to the world, or perhaps themselves, that the past didn't matter. That demons and death notebooks and the harm they'd caused one another could not possibly keep them apart as it did other couples. No. No, because they loved each other. Deeply. With all that they were.

"I threw it all away! For you!" L suddenly cried between eager kisses. The two crashed together a second time, lips colliding in an unspoken urgency. Panting for air, Light broke their kisses once more to reply.

"So did I!" And once again they were together. Almost frantic now, Light instinctively thrust his hips forward, grinding the seat of his pants against L's. L let out a small gasp, then almost immediately pulled away. Light, alarmed gazed at his partner while still holding onto him.

"Wha-!"

"Nothing. It's just where we are." No explanation was necessary. The two knew each other well enough to have translated those two simple sentences into meaning. Light's look was taken as 'what's the matter? Are you ok? Is this about Webber? Do you want me to stop?' And L's response had been taken as 'No. It's ok. But hey, we're outside. We might want to take this somewhere else.' L gripped Light's hand tightly, then turned back toward the house.

"Let's lock James out of the house," he said. Light nodded. The two hurried back inside in order to fool their bodyguard into stepping outside for a moment. Of course, it wasn't hard to do. James had been perfectly aware of what had been happening outside, and so, when the two returned flustered and antsy, he barely even gave them the chance to make up some excuse to get him outside. James simply agreed with their half-baked story about them needing him to check the car for explosives from the night before, then calmly put on his coat and shoes. He stepped outside without a fuss or a complaint and allowed the two to lock the door behind them, if only it would make them feel they had more privacy. James wouldn't be interrupting them.

He stood out on the porch, perfectly happy to take in the brisk November air. He inhaled it deeply, letting it fill his lungs. The smell of freshly fallen snow was one of his absolute favorites. He decided it was right up there with freshly cut grass in summer.

Chuckling softly to himself he sat down on the front swing. The snow was thin enough here that he could comfortably rock himself back and forth. Seeing an old newspaper sat in a basket beside the swing, he casually picked it up. Flipping it open, he decided to start with the local news section. Happy for Light and L, for James knew very well that they hadn't even had a chance to see each other since the entire Sheryl incident, not to mention get intimate, he hoped that the two would be refreshed in their spirits after finally getting to be with one another. He'd been wondering when the two would find time through all the stress and action. But he was a little worried about Jackie who was still asleep in the upstairs guest bedroom.


	23. Sparking Ideas in the After Glow

Author's Note: Well, I know I've been quiet as of late, but there is one announcement I at least wanted to make. AWA is coming up this weekend! That's right folks, Anime Weekend Atlanta is already upon us. Needless to say, I've already preordered my tickets weeks ago. And as always, I'll be dressed as L. I do indeed have a Raito-kun to pal around with this year, so if anyone's in the area, look out for the L and Light cuffed together. (If they allow cuffs this year. We'll see.) In any case, I'm oober excited. So much so that I used the word 'oober.' Maybe I'll see a few of you there.

Happy reading!

~Spotofpaint

P.S.- I tried to use some Japanese this time around. Just a few lines. If it sucks grammatically, I apologize in advance. I really don't know more than a few words in the language. In any case, I hope you like the quality it gives this scene.

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Jackie had been warm and comfortable, buried deeply beneath the feathered quilt of the guest room. The mattress was soft, and the blankets so large and fluffy, that even a man as large as Jackie could easily be swallowed whole within the confines of the dream world. And after a night like Halloween, he was just as exhausted as everyone else. He'd slept completely undisturbed for the rest of the evening. At least, that was, until soft noises began to prick at the edge of his consciousness.

Slowly, he was lulled into waking much in the same manner a lot of people are lulled into sleeping. It came around gently at first. The noises he heard were quiet and carefully entered his dreams in a subliminal manner so that he wasn't even truly aware of them at first. But as all waking goes, he slowly began to realize that his senses were turning themselves back on. His hearing came in tune with the noise he couldn't identify, and carefully his tired brain kicked back into gear. As it did and he started to understand that he was waking up, he also came to understand what those noises he heard were.

It was Japanese. At first he hadn't been sure. He thought he was too tired to understand the words that were being said. But as he came around, he realized that the soft whispers were actually in another language. Even so, the tones and the type of talk that he was hearing were unmistakable. It had that tender quality to it that a man only reserved for his lover, the person dearest to him. It was careful and sweet, no matter what the actual words meant, the message was clear. The Japanese words, comprised with their ending vowel sounds, seemed much less harsh than Jackie usually thought of the language. And once he realized that those types of tones were coming from next door…

Jackie bolted up right in bed, sitting up with a start. White eyes, seemingly glowing in his dark face, he stared in something close to horror at the wall that separated him from the master bedroom. And sure enough, as soon as he was bolted awake by adrenalin, he heard a soft cry from one of the men he was charged with protecting. Clearly the owner of the cry had been trying to be quiet, but it seemed useless. Jackie, now that he was fully awake, could clearly hear every ragged breath the two were taking.

"Daijoubu, anata?" He recognized Light's voice, even though it was thick with longing and anticipation. He also recognized L's voice…even though it was only coming through as soft moans.

"Hi, tomaranaide. Watashi ga hitsuyou nano." Both were speaking softly. Both gasping for air. And both suppressing what would have been much louder moans of pleasure if they hadn't been aware of their sleeping body guard in the next room. Undoubtedly, they must have thought that Jackie would sleep right through. Perhaps they thought Jackie was a heavy sleeper, hard to wake. Or, maybe they simply didn't care if he did wake and heard them. In any case, it didn't matter what the two thought, not for Jackie anyway. He needed to get out of there, and now. There was no way he was going to stick around for the finale. He quickly threw back his covers, trying to ignore the next quick gasp that came from the infatuated detective next door. He then hurried as quickly, but as quietly as he dared for the door. After all, despite his hurry, he certainly didn't want to call attention to himself.

"Raito-kun!" Despite the hushed quality of this cry, it was nevertheless, still a cry. Jackie heard all too well the airy desperate quality of the voice. He no longer cared about being quiet, he raced for the stairwell. He ran down the steps, two at a time, his bare feet hitting the landing at the bottom strangely softly considering his size. And once on the ground floor, he hurried to the shoe area in front of the bungalows main door. Jackie grabbed his shoes, shoved them on without socks and then snatched his jacket off of the coat hanger. Within a blink the front door was unlocked and he was stumbling out onto the snowy porch where, to his surprise, James was expectantly waiting for him.

His Italian partner sat on the thinly dusted swing, newspaper in hand, and a huge grin on his face. He smiled at his partner so completely that his eyes had squinted shut until they were no longer visible. The contrast between the inside of the house and the bright, blinding white of the world outside, including the contributing factor of James's dazzling teeth, was astounding. For a moment Jackie wondered if he hadn't dreamt the whole thing and was now waking up due to the shock of the cold air around him. James's grin was obnoxiously large.

"Did the love birds wake you up?" Jackie blinked.

"Huh?"

"The love birds. They woke you up? I know you wake up at the slightest sound Jackie. You'd wake up if a feather fluttered down and landed on top of a sleeping newborn kitten." He fluttered his newspaper, snapping it so that it would stay open without its corners drooping downward. Then James's turned his attention back to the paper and away from his partner. "Well we both had some sleep last night, at least we're recharged for the day. I have a feeling that once they've gotten all of their angst out of their systems, they're going to start moving forward very quickly with a plan."

Jackie stood silently for a few seconds. Thankfully the front door was the type to swing shut behind every user, so now the heavy oak door and the well insulated house blocked any noise the pair inside made. With only the sound of winter around him, Jackie was much more easily able to think. After all, a fresh snow muffled the world in a way that nothing else could. It gave the day a quiet quality that no other season could achieve. He sighed. It smelt good too. The icy bite of the first of November was refreshing. And so, in a means of admitting defeat somehow, and to what he wasn't sure, Jackie stepped over to the swing. He sat down beside his partner, leaning forward on his knees in order to rest his hands together. He gazed out at the winter wonderland before him.

"You seem pretty confident that Light and L will be taking action soon. But with everything I've witnessed about them so far…I'd have to argue. They seem far too settled into their new lives to do the things they used too. Even this experience, just now, tells me that they'd rather lie in one another's arms than tackle the huge problems that they used too. They don't care about the world anymore. They've shrunk their entire universe and put it into one small little upstate town." Jackie sighed and leaned back in the swing. Using one heel, he gently started to rock the structure. The chains it hung from croaked softly as it rubbed up against the wood of the seat.

"It'll be up to us now. The Secret Service has to deal with all of this. That's why hired us after all. So that L wouldn't have to get involved anymore. Even though he's stopped chasing shadows…those shadows are still chasing him. He's made plenty of enemies over the years."

James slowly lowered his paper. His smile was quite gone as a serious expression took over his features. James was one of the types whose age changed along with his moods. Folding the newspaper up gently, he faced his certain partner.

"You're wrong, Jackie," he said bluntly. "If it were any other case I'd agree with you. Any other case wouldn't have been as important to them as each other, as this upstate town, as all their new friends. But this is Kira we're talking about. Kira is so personal to both of them…the things Kira's done…I can't even begin to describe what I'm thinking about it all. All I know for certain is that neither of them are going to let this one go to someone else. Once they're fully recovered, and I think they will be once their done inside the house, they're going to jump on this. They're going to want to take Kira down. And you and I are just going to be going along for the ride. We'll be there to do what we can to make sure no one gets killed. And I don't know about you…but I'm ready to do whatever they ask of me. I trust them. And if they tell me to leap off a cliff, I'll just have faith that somehow it's the thing to do at the time and that I'll be just fine as long as I pay attention."

Jackie didn't look happy. In fact he seemed rather worried about his partner's way of thinking. Then again, it was the same trust he put in his partner. That's what it meant to have a partner in crime fighting. It meant putting his life in James's hands and vice versa. Jackie knew that if James ever told him to jump off a cliff in a heated situation where lives were at stake…he would. Because sometimes in order to survive, an agent or police man had to trust that their partner saw something they themselves didn't. And so, after thinking about it like that, Jackie thought he understood what James's was trying to say.

"Yeah," he said simply. He'd never been a man of a lot of words. He didn't like frilly speeches or discussions. He liked to _do._ He was an achiever. And he knew that if James was right and the two geniuses inside the house came out and told them they'd be going after Kira, or Sheryl, or anything else for that matter, James and Jackie would be following them. It was more than their duty; it was their way of life.

***

Light felt peaceful. It was hard for him to say if he'd ever really felt peaceful before he'd met L. He recalled never truly being happy about much of anything. He'd been tired with his ordinary life, and tired with ordinary people. He had been bored with everyday things, bored with what he had considered to be 'peaceful' at the time. But of course now he knew better. It wasn't peace that was boring him; because there was nothing boring about peace at all. Peace was wonderful. It enveloped him. At a moment such as this one, he was sure it enveloped the entire world.

He was still warm. The blood that had pounded so viciously through his veins only moments ago was now cooling, calming, and settling back to its usual speed. Only now, after such power, it felt slow and lazy. And there was nothing wrong with that. Light loved every moment of it. Now…now he loved the ordinary things. Of course, there was nothing at all ordinary about L, but all the things they did together couldn't be described as anything else. They ate, slept, made love, bathed, went food shopping, fought on occasion, watched TV and an assortment of entirely normal things that everyone else on the planet did. Yet somehow…these things didn't bother him anymore. No. Now he cherished them. Now they seemed like a gift.

L's thin body trembled beside him. Slowly, he rolled his head to the side against the sweaty pillow to gaze at him. The smaller man was curled slightly, and pressed tightly into Light's side. His ivory skin was coated in a layer of shimmering sweat that glimmered in the light streaming in from their curtain clad windows. He looked as smooth and as luminous as ever. And he also looked exhausted.

"Lawli?" Light questioned. L's deep, dark eyes had been closed, one curled hand pressed against his lips. But at the prompt, his eyelids fluttered open halfway allowing the orbs beneath to fixate on his lover. He didn't need to answer. Light smiled softly. Carefully, he reached over and gently ran one of his hands through the dark, tangled ebony locks.

"Do you need some food, love?" Light had never been able to tell when they switched back to English. All he knew for certain was that he always reverted back to Japanese while in the throes of passion. And L, he assumed, because he was so natural at knowing so many other languages, also followed suite with ease.

L slowly shook his head 'no' in answer to Light's question. Light had asked it because of the slight trembling he felt in his partner's small form. L, being thin, anemic, and having such a fast metabolism, often found himself simply wiped out after their romantic endeavors. Light had noticed that feeding him something often helped him gain back his energy. If he left him as he was now, he'd fall asleep for several hours. Still…Light decided to give him some more time to rest before making him get up. Undoubtedly, he was still basking in the afterglow as well. Light put a sturdy hand on his shoulder.

"You're still shaking." L smiled softly, his eyes shining with joy.

"That's all your fault, now isn't it?" Light returned the smile.

"Yes, I suppose." He ran his hand through L's tangled mane a second time. "All the same,"

"I'm fine Raito. I'm more durable than I appear." Light chuckled. He knew that to be true a very long time ago. Besides, L appeared as if he were one hundred percent recovered from the night before. Light doubted he would have wanted to have sex if he weren't. That meant that James was right, and L was just fine. It seemed amazing after such a traumatic event. Then again, Light had seen L bounce back from equally as horrible things. Why, even after the Webber ordeal, Light was in shock at how easily L seemed to be recovering in the hospital. L had said he was happy, because Webber had not succeeded, because Light had come to get him. For this reason, he seemed almost completely ok emotionally, even if he hadn't been physically.

Light wondered if it was because he'd suffered so much from such a young age onward. Maybe he simply knew a way to recover that other regular people didn't? Light was sure that if it had happened to him, if he had been almost killed by Kira…he wouldn't have bounced back the very next day. It was only another reason why L was so incredible.

Light wasn't fool enough to think nothing hurt him. Oh no. L's nightmares were a testament to some of the darker things that had scared him and that he still carried with him, but his ability to continue to shine despite it all…Light would never get over it.

"You're so amazing," Light said suddenly. L smiled sweetly.

"A compliment is always well received, even if it was Raito who did all the amazing things this time around." Light would have blushed, but all his blood was still sorting its way out inside of his body and most of it was still floating around in his lower half.

"That's not what I meant, although you're good at those things too." L chuckled, clearly entertained and happy.

"I know," he whispered. He inhaled deeply through his nose, and then slowly let the air out in a content and happy sigh. Light knew from the soft glow on his face and the look in his eyes that L was feeling just as at peace as he was. L's eyelids fluttered briefly, threatening to close once more, but out of sheer force of will, L kept them open. He didn't want to fall asleep either. He felt as if he'd miss all of the wonderful things about this certain moment in time.

"I know money's a little tight, now that we're relying only on your linguist job…"

"And I haven't had time to do any work either."

"…but I'd love to take you out on a proper date sometime soon. Maybe dinner at Matty-Anne's? Or, hey! Now that the first snow has fallen, Brent will be offering those horse and sleigh rides soon for the season." L sighed a second time. He lifted a pale hand, and seemingly using all the strength he had left, he lay it on top of Light's bare chest. He carefully started to trace his index finger around in a small circular fashion half-heartedly.

"That would be nice. Raito should be careful not to spoil me." Light chuckled.

"I'll do as I please."

"I'll allow it if it's to spoil me. I've never been one to say no to free pleasures." Light chuckled again. His mind still in the gutter, he refrained from making a joke about L's last comment. He looked back over to his love, finding his hand growing still on top of his chest. When he looked over, Light saw his eyes fluttering closed all over again. He was about to drift off.

"Hey," Light grabbed his pale arm, firmly to wake him. "Come on, let's get you to the kitchen. You need some food or you'll never get your energy back." L let out a soft, sleepy, noise of agreement. Taking his permission, Light rolled over and carefully wrapped his arms around his love, then he forced him to sit up. Once erect in bed, L seemed to come back around more quickly. He blinked both eyes sleepily once more. Then he let out a long yawn and stretched his thin arms up above his head. Light was already getting out of bed by the time his fingers reached his eyes to wipe at the water there.

"Raito isn't dizzy?" Light, on his feet and pulling on his boxers, found that most of his blood had returned to its normal flow. As such, he wasn't dizzy at all. But he knew that L's body didn't work the same way. He'd need that food to get his heart pumping strongly enough to get the blood back up into his head. L was almost always dizzy after their rompings. It was only another thing Light found endearing. And he loved, absolutely _loved_ helping L stumble his way down to the kitchen each and every time.

Well…except those couple of times when they'd actually made love _in_ the kitchen. Light smiled at the memory.

Once he had his pants on, he didn't bother with a shirt, he went to the bedside where L was still struggling to wake up entirely. He reached out gripping his partner's upper arms.

"Come on." At Light's insistence, L swung his feet over the side of the bed and went to stand. It was only because of Light's firm grip on his arms that he didn't go crashing to the floor. Instead, he stumbled and fell against his partner's chest where Light caught him expertly. He snickered.

"Mmm…Raito always finds my conditions funny…" There was a hint of displeasure in his voice, but not enough to warrant an apology. "May I remind you that it is your vigorous actions in bed that make me this way." Light carefully helped L to stand back up. He gave him a few seconds to allow his heart to pump the blood upward to his head, then let him go. Looking a little better, L managed to pull on his boxers without any help.

"Gee, and I always thought I was being gentle. I'd hate to see what would happen to you if I really cut loose," Light joked. L didn't bother with any other article of clothing. Clad in his blue boxers, he headed for the bedroom doorway.

"I don't mind passion. But if you ever hurt me I'd never forgive you." Of course, neither party was serious. Both knew Light would never hurt L on purpose. And of course, both also knew that sometimes in their fits of passion, things happened that didn't hurt at the time…but could leave a person very tender later on. Light wondered if this hadn't been one of those occasions. L looked ok currently, but his body was still warm. Things changed once a person cooled down and muscles began to stiffen.

Light saw L stumbled into the hall and hurried to catch up with him. He quickly caught his arm just before he reached the stairs. L shot Light a harsh look that said 'I can do it myself, I'm not helpless,' and Light shot a look right on back that argued just as harshly that he would hold on just in case whether L liked it or not. The two bickered silently for only a few seconds, then gave up and made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Once there, L sat down at the table while Light headed toward the fridge. He rummaged for only a second or two before pulling out a left over piece of cake. Sugar would help, even though he tried to keep L away from it normally. When he headed back toward the table, he noticed L wasn't curled in his chair as usual, but sitting regularly. Light had witnessed this phenomenon a few times before and he immediately knew the cause. His face fell to instant concern as he laid the plate before his dizzy partner.

"I hurt you." It wasn't a question, but an observation. Even so, his voice was dripping with guilt. L shook his head.

"No. Just tender. It was wonderful Raito. Don't be sorry. I'd wanted you to…" But he didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to. Light knew that both of them had been gripped with passion. In fact…Light was feeling a little tender himself. It crept inward as his muscles began to cool and tighten. He sat down across from his partner. For a long time, neither spoke. The only sound was from L's fork cutting into his cake and hitting the bottom of the plate. Both knew what had to be said next, and neither wanted to ruin the moment. And so, it was silent for a few moments as L ate and regained his strength. But once the cake was gone, and it was gone quickly, there was no longer an excuse to not speak. Without one of them eating something, it was only awkward, and so, Light cleared his throat first.

"So…shall we go after Sheryl first then?" L earnestly thought about the question. The food having helped him considerably, and the blood back in his brain where it belonged, he was able to assess the situation.

"Yes. Although I firmly believe we must do much research in order to learn and protect ourselves, the idea of sitting idly by while doing so is disastrous. Kira doesn't need to know more than he does. He's unfortunately well equipped to deal with both of us. He's lived inside of you. As such he knows almost everything about you and also myself through observation. He won't be waiting. If I were Kira…I would act quickly having just attacked my enemy and thinking he is down and weak. I believe the only reason he hasn't attacked us immediately is because he was defeated last night. When I felt him being ripped from my body, I got the sense that he'd been hurt or injured. I believe he is recuperating in a similar manner to how we are recuperating." Light nodded in agreement.

"If he is, he'd have to do it in another host. He's either gone back to Sheryl, or he's possessed someone closer. Maybe someone in town." This idea was horrifying to both of them. Light and L knew almost everyone in town. And they had attachments to the people that lived in their community. For a moment, they stared at each other with a bit of fear.

"Kira…Kira said to me…he said last night that there are conditions to him possessing people. Or rather, he didn't say it in so many words, but he still confessed to me that a person needs to be accepting of him. It's strongly connected to emotions and thoughts. Like with you Light, he was able to jump from the notebook into you because of your dissatisfaction with the entire world and everything in it. He was able to use your desire to change the world as a means of possessing you. Even Ryuk once said to you that you had been the only person to have come so far with the Death Note. I take this to mean that other human beings had tried to destroy it, had given up on it, or had their conscience keep them from continuing. Kira would have never been able to be born in such a person. You're desire to change the world and your greed were your keys. And Sheryl's key was her jealousy. Greg…well…we needn't say much about why Greg was able to be possessed and killed…"

Light grimaced at the memory. Despite all they'd been through, seeing a bloody body didn't seem to grow easier with time. After all, when he'd been killing with the Death Note…he had been shielded from the cold hard reality of what killing actually meant. He didn't need to see the bodies, the life leave a person's eyes. Not at first anyway. It was only later after he'd become more corrupt that he actually desired to see those things. Light quickly shook his head. He didn't want those memories anymore. He quickly changed the subject.

"Lawli…did Kira actually say those things to you? You have proof that someone needs to be corrupt in order for him to possess them?" L's eyes shifted to the ceiling as he pulled forth the horrid memories of just the night before.

"He said…that his ultimate goal was to repossess you, Raito. He gave me many confessions, I suppose because he thought I'd be dead and wouldn't be able to reveal them or his weaknesses to anyone. But he confessed to me that he can only be as powerful as those he possesses. Meaning he has gained his intelligence from possessing you, and his lust from possessing Sheryl. He also confessed that he could not possess you as you are right now, but that after killing me, you'd be so filled with despair and rage that he could walk right on in. This to me makes it very clear that our theory is correct."

Light let out a quick sigh of relief, slumping back in his chair.

"Well that's good news. It means a lot of our friends are safe." L didn't look as convinced.

"Not necessarily Raito. No one can know truly what's in another's heart. Would you have known that Sheryl was harboring such strong feelings of jealousy and lust just by looking at her, and speaking with her?" Light needn't answer. Both knew that he hadn't know from the start, or he would have confronted her much earlier, and neither of them wouldn't have gotten into such a mess with her in the first place.

"People hide the darker sides of themselves. It doesn't mean they're evil. It doesn't mean they deserve to be possessed by a demon like Kira. It simply means that they're human and have weaknesses just like everyone else. I don't believe for a single second of my life that you, Raito, were evil when you were nothing more than a seventeen year old high school student. I don't believe at all that you would have been capable of the things you did all on your own. It was only through the twisting and warping of your darker side that Kira was able to turn you into something you never naturally would have turned into on your own. All the people Kira possesses…are victims of their own desires. I think it would take a tremendous amount of effort for someone to expel him from themselves, especially after what we witnessed last night. Kira has grown very powerful. He mentioned being able to use his dark powers in this realm, on earth. Meaning he hasn't always been powerful enough to do so. He gains power by absorbing the darkest feelings inside the people he possesses. He feeds off of it, and he feeds off of pain. I'm certain. I'm ninety-eight percent sure."

Light was silent as he listened. There was no argument. It all made perfect sense to him. Having been the one who was once possessed, he felt that L's explanation rang true. But as dark and as damning as it was, Light also saw how this made room for hope.

"Well, if everything you say is true, then Kira is actually powerless without human beings to help him." L's eyes widened at the revelation.

"Yes." He immediately agreed. It was a fitting puzzle piece.

"Without humans, Kira has no power at all. Because you just said that he gets his power by feeding off of human darkness and off of human pain and suffering, right? So then if he can't possess anyone, he'll be stuck in that dark misty form of his. And he'll slowly fade away into nothing."

"Perhaps. I agree he is powerless without human help. But what becomes of him without a host is still up for question. The fact that he originally possessed a demonic item leads me to believe that he can live in a type of storage if he finds an object to possess. Then he can lie in wait for hundreds of years if need be before someone suitable picks up the item and allows him to possess them." Light frowned. He'd never thought of the Death Note that way before.

"If that's true, he may have possessed an item here in town instead of a person…" Light lifted his hand to his chin and mouth, resting his fingers there as he thought. "Although, the Death Note was a supernatural item taken from the Shinigami realm. He was possessing that, probably with ease because it's a naturally evil, supernatural item. I have a feeling he wouldn't be able to just leap into any regular object. It would need to be something dark and supernatural, like the Death Note."

"Yes." L agreed, very much liking Light's insightful input. "This will limit Kira greatly in what and who he can possess."

"Well then, should we hold off on searching for Sheryl, and search for Kira here in town instead?"

"No…I think searching for Kira without knowing how to defeat him is foolish." Light immediately blushed in embarrassment. Of course it was foolish. But he had been excited about the prospect of knowing about how to seek the demon out. He didn't seem nearly as invincible now that they understood his limitations. "We should start with Sheryl as you originally planned Raito. If we're correct, Kira couldn't have gotten far in his misty, cloud-like form. He would have been forced, especially if he were injured after last night, to possess something nearby for recovery. But…this is risky business. If I was able to recover from the attack in one night, he may have as well. If that's the case, we have no way of knowing if he's already repossessed Sheryl. And we cannot confront him head on just yet. And it may take time to find her. And after a few days time, I'm certain Kira will go back to his original host. Sheryl has made him strong. And he'll seek to use her to regain his strength."

"Hmm…" Light didn't like it. This meant they couldn't just go confront Sheryl while she was herself to try and turn her to their side and explain to her what was happening to her. If she was already repossessed, they'd stand little chance.

"Well wait," Light said, an idea sparking. "Sheryl just had surgery. The reason Kira has hidden her away has to be because she's weak and recovering. Even if Kira can recover in a day's time, Sheryl can't. It takes months to fully recover from reconstructive surgery. That's why he had to possess Greg in the first place. So he could come to the party and attack you. He couldn't do it with Sheryl. If Kira is nothing without his host, then if he's possessing a very weak host, then he himself is weak. Even if she is possessed, he shouldn't be able to do much to us. Sheryl's body wouldn't be able to withstand his powers." L's eyes lit up as well, his mind moving quickly with Light's prompts.

"Yes. And in fact, I imagine he wouldn't wish to possess her at all while she's recovering. Being possessed puts a strain on a person, does it not?" Light nodded quickly. It sure as hell did. He recalled almost always feeling strained while in possession of Kira. Mentally and emotionally if not physically. "Kira wants her to recover so he can use her again. If so, she'll be free of him at least for the first few weeks of her recovery. During this window, we have the opportunity of seeking her out. If we can convince her of all these happenings, we can close off his main exit. He'll have no way of escaping. And what's more-so, is if we can get Sheryl to cooperate with us, we may be able to lure Kira into a trap. We know he's going to want to come back to her. If we can discover a way of defeating him before that time, we can trap him."

It sounded good. Very good. L and Light looked across the table to one another with large excited eyes. It would work. It had to work. Almost at the same time, both stood up, their chairs scraping backward against the floors tiles.

"Raito, you concentrate on locating Sheryl. You can use my laptop. It still has the high security positioning software on it, along with other programs I've written myself to assist in locating individuals all over the world. Try locking onto her credit card number first, once you discover which card she carries. If she's used it at all since she's disappeared, we'll have her. I'll concentrate on researching demons and discovering how different cultures and religions believe to get rid of them."

"Ok! I'll go let James and Jackie in. Let's get dressed and get going." L nodded firmly, then as if a fire were lit in his belly, he ran out of the kitchen and toward his computer in the living room. Surely they would succeed. Surely.


	24. The Death Note

Author's Note: AWA was awesome. I am sad none of you were there. Or if you were we didn't recognize each other. But in any case, I won't bore you with the marvelous details of it all. I _might_ post up some pictures of my girlfriend and I in costume. But that's a big _might_. I haven't really decided yet.

In any case, keep reading! It'll only get better from here on out until the end.

~Spotofpaint

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Light had found her. It hadn't been hard. L's self-written software had done most of the work for him. The hardest part had been digging up all of her personal records. But once he discovered that her parents had died and he'd gotten a copy of the will, the rest was easy. There was a huge missing sum of money taken from her parents accounts a few years back before they died. It was several hundred thousand, enough for a nice piece of real-estate. But this mystery house hadn't been put into any records. Because of that, it stuck out like a sore thumb.

Light knew she must have been hiding in this hidden piece of property. All he had to do was locate it. And, thanks to L's suggestion of tracking her credit card number; that had been made easy for him as well. After hacking into her bank account and finding her credit cards and all their numbers, all he needed to do was use L's software. It immediately told him that the last purchase was made online to a drug store for some more pain medications. The location of that purchase was made fifty miles north in the more mountainous areas of New York. After using satellite imagery to focus in on the latitude and longitude given to him by L's software, he could see the speck of a cabin snuggled nicely between the folds of a mountain and its blanket of soft green pines.

The entire search had only taken him four days. Very satisfied with his results, Light leaned back in his chair and lifted his arms over his head for a long overdue stretch. He'd been stationed in the guest room, since it was the only room with a second desk in the entire house. He'd taken L's laptop up to the second floor and had closed the door for privacy. Both he and L preferred silence so that they could work in peace. So having L downstairs in the living room in the office nook was perfect for them both. But now that he had results, he was eager to share them with his partner. He'd hardly even gotten the chance to see him the past few days. Both of them had been absorbed in their work.

As Light stood up from his swivel chair, he heard the first plink on the window. Blinking, he lifted his gaze. He immediately noticed how dark it was outside. The clouds swirled around one another, deluding themselves in a post-storm dance. The snow from the other day had completely melted away, and now the world outside was dying as it did every year in preparation for winter. The green grass was shriveling up to a thin, prickly, sand color. The colorful trees were dropping what was left of their foliage at an alarming pace. Now the trees stretched toward the sky, black and spindly looking, as if their branches were boney fingers reaching for the swirling clouds above. The dead world outside made it seem even colder. The temperatures had never come back up after the Halloween party, and even now they were in a steady bout of the thirties.

There was another plink against the window. Light looked again. He didn't see anything at first, but after waiting only another second, there was a third plink. It was hail. The small crystals were not large enough to damage any property. In fact, he would have thought it was rain had it not been for the distinct sound it made against the glass. After waiting only another second more, the mess of gray up above opened its clutches and released the small balls of ice as if they were grains of sand. The gloom outside was complete. With the sound of hail barraging their slate colored roof and their metal gutters, keeping an idea of warmth inside the house was near impossible. Even the lamp he had on over the desk didn't seem to give off any heat. Light decided he'd better go down and see how L was fairing.

Light left the guest room and started down the stairs. When he reached the bottom, he only had to turn the corner to spot his partner, for he wasn't at his desk where Light expected to find him. Instead, L was seated on top of their window seat, curled, his back against the window frame and his hands around his knees. His head was up, the feathery dark of his hair flattened against the windows frame. He was facing away from Light, gazing mournfully out the bay windows as the hail tinkered down. It didn't take a genius to see something was wrong.

Light walked over softly. His fine, soft slippers made hardly a sound against their living room carpeting. He stopped just at L's side. L didn't move or acknowledge Light's presence, but Light knew that he sensed he was there.

"Hey," he said softly. L's shoulders rose slowly, then sank even lower than where they started as a sigh escaped his lips.

"I suppose I have to explain my melancholy." The way he said it made it sound like a chore. Light knew better than to take offense. L was never one to be careful with his words when he was upset about something.

"Can I sit down?" Without answering, L scooted over awkwardly, moving his body closer to the window so that Light could sit on the sill. Light moved in, sitting down on its edge in almost a graceful manner. He sat regularly, with his slippers on the floor, one hand resting on the sill beside him. He faced his partner, whose face he could now see due to the new angle. Light was surprised to see that L wasn't as much sad as he suspected, but rather…he was afraid. The lines in his face were drawn tight over his cheek bones. His skin was hard against the dim light of the storm outside. He was strained.

"Lawliet?" he asked with worry. L was quiet for a little while, saying nothing as he watched the hail pour down on the dead world outside. But then, slowly, his pale lips parted.

"It's useless." The two words uttered came out quietly. Almost like a whisper. Even though Light had trouble hearing, there was no mistake in what L had said. Light's brow wrinkled.

"Useless? What's useless? Lawli this isn't like you."

"Yes it is. I've always been this way." The answer was sharp and quick and pointed. Light immediately recognized that the answer had been automatic and that it had been said to provoke him. It was one of L's biggest defenses. If he started an argument about something frivolous, then the real issue at hand wouldn't be dealt with. Light hadn't had such an argument with him in some time. He wondered if L even meant to do it, or if it was just reflex, like someone shrinking away from touch when they were injured.

"Lawli…I'm not going to bite. Now come on, tell me what the matter is. Did you find something in your research?" L's head moved ever so slightly, just enough so that a large strand of black hair fell into his downcast eyes. His expression didn't change, his eyes didn't move or flicker away, but Light recognized the cues all the same. L very slowly shook his head.

"No…" The answer was surprising. L was the best. After four days of research he hadn't found anything? Light had seen him scouring the internet. He'd gone to the library, he'd read countless books on countless religions. There was a stack of them seated right next to the couch even as they spoke. Light saw one on Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Chinese traditional, African beliefs, Paganism and countless others. Even James's old Bible, which L had adopted, sat beside the other books, abandoned. Light shifted his gaze away from the mountain of information and back to his distraught partner.

"Lawli…what do you mean?" he prompted. L shook his head again, but this time it was in a hopeless fashion and it wasn't the answer to anything.

"There's no answer." Light remained quiet as L said this one simple phrase. There was more, much more. And he knew L would explain if he sat silently and let him gather himself. "There's no answer," he said again. "All of the religions, all of the major religions of the world contradict one another. None of them can agree. I even tried to stick with just one religion, after comparing many didn't work. The same religions contradict themselves in their same texts, sometimes within the same passage. I've been over it a dozen times…"

Light thought he was starting to understand L's distress. Despite his intelligence, he'd probably been searching for a magical cure. Everyone had hopes like that. Every human being on earth, no matter how ingenious they were, wished deep down inside that there was just some magical cure to all of their problems: a magic spell, a wave of a wand, a prayer that could be said that would take it all away. That's why movies revolving around fantasy and magic and exploration were so popular. They dealt with the impossible.

But even the least intelligent of people understood…that there was no such thing. Even the religious and spiritualists never claimed they had a magic cure, well at least not the sane ones. There would always be those few crazy zealots out there that claimed a broken bone could be healed instantly with prayer, but the normal ones never promised such things. Light had heard James plenty of times in the past few days discussing his religion with L, and James had never claimed that a prayer would just whisk Kira away. He'd never said that God would just strike the demon down because a mortal asked Him to. But even with all of that said and understood, and Light was sure L understood, it didn't erase the desperate hope that he could find something of that nature. Perhaps L had been looking for a miracle. Even while knowing that miracles were hardly ever found by reading books or doing research. Miracles were things that just happened inexplicitly. No mortal could will one into existence. If they could, people would come back to life. Or rather they wouldn't have died in the first place. No one would be killed by cancer or car wrecks or natural disasters or floods or the countless other things that killed people every day.

"There's no answer Raito. Many religions don't even believe in demons as entities…they view them as bad vibes, or energy that infect a person and their way of thinking and acting. The ones that _do_ view demons as entities have only ways of exorcizing them out of human beings. None have a way of banishing it from earth, sending it back to the underworld, or destroying it all together. Demons are viewed as immortal, and I can find no record, anywhere, in any religion of a demon being killed by a mortal. At least none that aren't superstitious lure." He leaned his head to the side, letting it rest against the frigid glass of the window.

"And even those religions that agree demons are real…those religions argue about how to exorcize it. I don't know what to do. These religions warn against other religions. So if we use the bible, we cannot use any other means. If we use crystals, we cannot use another means. If we pick the wrong one, we're dead. And of course, I'm not sure there even is a right one. They're all so different. Some of these texts are thousands upon thousands of years old. I thought…there must be some truth to something that has been believed for so much time and has traversed continents. But it's impossible to pick out what is practical and what is superstition. Clearly not everything written can be true. But it can't all be false either. There's similarities between a lot of the religions that make plenty of sense, but…those similarities have to do with moral codes and ethical standings. It doesn't have to do with our problem with Kira at all."

L curled up more tightly then. Light watched as he drew his legs in, and clutched at his calves. He pressed his forehead more viciously into the glass. And then, Light saw a shudder start in his toes and then race all the way up his spine and into the tips of his black hair. From there, he began to tremble all over.

Light understood that it was upsetting. He knew that not having a definite answer would be a frightening thing to work through. They had no solid grounds on which to stand. They didn't know how to fight a demon. Light also understood the blow L had just taken to his hopes. But still, he wondered about his reaction. L was reacting very poorly. Was it as upsetting as it seemed? Despite the bad news, Light didn't feel as afraid as L was demonstrating. He was confident that they would think of something on their own.

"Lawli, we know a lot about Kira. Even if we can't rely on some previous knowledge, I know we can still defeat him. I found Sheryl. I know where she's located. If we seek her out and get her onto our side, I know we can set that trap we talked about. We already know that he was rendered powerless when he was inside of me, when I fell in love with you. And he told you he had no power without humans and our negative emotions, right? So then, maybe all we have to do is trap him in a place where there are only positive emotions. Or better yet, no emotions at all. Maybe we can trap him inside an object, like the Death Note."

L didn't move. His body was stiff. He continued to tremble. The storm outside raged. Light could feel the freezing temperatures radiating from the window. It was a cold place to sit. The hail battered the glass.

"Lawli," Light reached out a hand, gently placing it on the side of L's thigh. Almost immediately, L sucked in a sudden hiss of air. His body stiffened like a rock, and Light saw his face contort with pain. Light drew his hand back. His almond eyes widened as dawning came upon him. L was upset about his research, yes, but he was also in a lot of pain. This accounted for more than half of his strange mood. And Light knew exactly why L was hurting.

"Your old injuries." L didn't reply. Light's brows furrowed together, knitting themselves into one. He hadn't thought about the weather outside, but now he felt foolish having not done so. In certain types of bad weather, L's injuries from what Webber had done to him acted up. They had a very similar incident in spring when L could barely stand from the pain.

Bones, when broken or crushed, never were exactly the same as they were when they were whole and untouched. The places where they healed were different. These spots could even be seen on an ex-ray after the bones were healed. Light wasn't sure exactly why, but he knew very well that people who had major injuries such as this, sometimes ached during wet, cold, or bad weather. It had something to do with how the bones healed and the pressure and humidity of the storms that rolled in. L had suffered plenty of broken bones last year. And Light recalled his worst injuries being the gunshot wound to his shoulder, and also to his thigh, the place Light had just touched.

His face contracted with sympathy. Carefully, Light reached out. As gently as he knew how, he grabbed onto L and maneuvered him forward so that he rested his head on his warm shoulder instead of against the cold glass. Light pulled him in, keeping his thin body against his own. Here, he could feel L tremble, not all from sadness as he thought, but from physical pain.

"We can take care of Kira, Lawli. Once you're feeling better, we should go confront Sheryl. It'll all work out. Ok?" The cat being out of the bag, L no longer felt the need to hide his condition. Why he felt compelled to do so in the first place was still a bit of a mystery, even to him. Perhaps he hadn't wanted to appear weak. Whatever the case…he was now in Light's arms. And that made all the difference. He reached out stiff, trembling arms, and wrapped them around his sturdier partner. His joints were aching. His shoulder and thigh were throbbing inside. Waves of pain pounded through his small form. He buried his face in Light's shoulder.

He didn't feel the need to say anything. He didn't want to. Because the combination of both the physical pain and the blow to his research were hard for him to swallow. He had indeed been hoping they could simply perform some sort of exorcism, and get their lives back. But now he wasn't so sure. Perhaps…trapping Kira in some sort of object was best. That was where the demon came from in the first place.

For a brief and terrifying second, L toyed with the idea of getting the Death Note back, or at least borrowing it from Quil so they could put Kira back inside of it. Then they could lock Kira up forever in an evidence storage locker. That would be a place with no emotion or connection to humans, just as Light suggested. But…

Fierce and vicious shudders suddenly attacked L's body. Light let out a gasp of alarm at the sudden movement. He clutched L even more tightly, and he had to ignore the sudden pain in his sides. L had grabbed at him, desperately, pinching his skin in his grasp unwittingly.

"Lawli? Lawli, what's wrong?" The very idea…the very thought of brining that evil notebook back into their lives…back within reaching distance of Light…was petrifying. What if Light touched it? Would he become repossessed just by that act alone? Would the very sight of it entice him? Would it tempt him, prey upon him? Would Light remember all of his old ideals, his convictions, his conquest for earth? _No, no!_ Surely Light would be lost to him forever. Kira would take him away and never let him go. And Light would become the villainous, terrifying, cruel man he once was. The one that toyed with his heart. The one that tried to strangle him to death.

L's throat started to throb along with his other old injuries. It pounded and burned. He was sure it was just psychological, but all the same…he felt it swelling shut. He could feel it broken. He could feel how crushed and splintered it once was beneath his lovers destructive hands.

Light…Light had done that. He had inflicted such pain…such fear. L shook his head. He buried it even more deeply into Light's neck. He inhaled. He wanted to smell him, have his scent within him. He wanted it to fill his lungs and wash away all of these old memories. He would never bring the Death Note back. Not even to get rid of Kira. Because bringing Kira and the Death Note and Light all together once more seemed like the most foolish thing he could possibly do. Light with just Kira was ok. Kira couldn't get him. Light and just an empty notebook was ok. But all three together…

"Lawliet!" Light felt his partner. His tremors were terrifyingly violent. Light knew very well that this wasn't just the research or even pain anymore. There was a third element. L really was scared. Of what he still wasn't sure. But whatever it was had him petrified. Light's alarm only grew when he suddenly felt something wet plip onto his shoulder. L…was crying.

"Lawliet! What is it? You have to tell me! What're you thinking?" Light held him even more tightly, nearly crushing the smaller man. Because for all the world, despite L's terror, L still knew that trapping Kira inside of the Death Note was their best bet. And as much as he tried to deny it, the idea kept circling like a shark.

"We can't escape," he suddenly cried, straining his voice through the ghost of a crushed windpipe. Light heard its destroyed quality. "We can't escape it. We've faked our deaths, crossed oceans, moved to a new city, we speak a different language. We even faced my old enemies for God's sake! And it's still here! Looming, threatening! We can't leave it behind no matter what we do! Why?" L's tears were falling quickly now, and Light's alarm had shot through the roof at his strained, horrified voice. All he could do, was keep him near.

"Lawli…what're you…what're you saying? What can't we leave behind?" There was only a brief moment of silence, and then L breathed the forbidden words, his voice solid despite its quiet.

"The Death Note." Light froze. No explanation was necessary. They'd just been talking about trapping Kira inside of an object after all. And Light himself had said 'an object like the Death Note.' The solution seemed so simple now. Of course they could trap Kira inside of the Death Note. It was the original thing he'd been trapped in to begin with. The only reason neither of them had sparked immediately to the correct conclusion was because of L's physical pain. But now…it seemed simple.

The Death Note.

Light's own body let off a shudder. He felt a wave of adrenalin. The very words sparked something inside of him, a mixture of both fear and excitement. _No! No!_ His voice screamed inside. Even the very idea provoked him in a way he wasn't comfortable with. He had to fight it, and the note book was still in an entirely different country. There was no doubt now to why L was reacting so harshly. He knew he could lose his love to the Death Note again if they weren't extremely careful. And as much as Light didn't want to admit it…he knew he could be lost to it too. If he picked it up, if he touched it, there was no doubt in his mind that Kira could use it as a sort of portal and possess him once again. It was L's worst nightmare, and now, it was a terrifying possibility.

But the moment the idea was presented, Light knew, just as L had, that it was the best course of action. Kira would much more easily go back into an object he was familiar with than a new one. Just like how he possessed people. He would have no problem re-entering Sheryl, or even Light once a door was opened to him. Light imagined it would be the same with objects. Especially one from the shinigami realm; Kira's hometown so to speak.

But his frantic thoughts and even his fears were distracted by L's shaking form. Light knew he had to take care of L first before they did anything. He was in immense pain and he was terrified of their new, unspoken plan.

"H…hey. Come on now, let's talk about it later. You need some pain pills. And you need to sit somewhere warm. Ok? I'll get you some Advil and I'll start up a fire." L didn't respond. He only nodded. Light, taking his cue slowly arose, L in his arms. Once on their feet, L winced, sucking air in once more. He stumbled, his bad leg giving way. Light had already caught him, keeping him snugly in his arms.

"Uhnn…" L groaned weakly. Mind racing from his research, his senses sharp from pain and his heart racing from fear, it wasn't odd to see that L was now a little delusional. His dark eyes drifted to a place that Light knew he couldn't follow from the stab of pain he'd just received. L clung to Light's form, his face slowly relaxing a bit, despite the obvious agony standing put him in. He gazed up at Light, his dark eyes somewhat clouded as if they'd drifted away.

"…They…ring the bells…even in the rain…" Light paused after L's mumblings. He stared briefly at his partner, concern invading his features. Luckily for Light, he knew what L meant and was referring to on the rare occasions when he mentioned something odd and out of the blue like this. Bells had been a big part of L's childhood. L had told him that one of the orphanages he spent years at as a child had been part of a church. As such, the bells in the steeples were rung frequently and almost every day. It was the same as when L commented on hearing a train in the distance. The orphanage he was at, before the one by the church, had been positioned underneath a train trestle. And because of L's odd, complicated and anxiety riddled life, it wasn't odd for him to have flashbacks or bring an element from his past into his present. At least, it wasn't odd when he was under extreme duress. And if they added physical pain to it…well…

Light suddenly wasn't all that concerned about it anymore. L would be fine once the pain faded and once he was given some warmth by the fire. Light could recognize the change in his eyes. They looked similar now to as they did when he was waking from a dream.

"Here, come on Lawli." Light led his trembling partner toward the couch, wincing every time L did, for each time L put any sort of weight on his leg he sucked in a vicious amount of air. His long, slender, fingers clutched kneading at his strong partner. Light gently and carefully helped him to sit. Almost immediately L sighed with relief. Light wasn't done with him however, and the healthier of the two quickly grabbed one of their warmest blankets from off the back of the couch. He draped it over his trembling partner.

"The Death Note…we'll have to contact Quil…" Light carefully tucked the blanket in around L's small form.

"We'll make plans later. For now, you rest. You're head's scrambled."

"I'm never scrambled." But the argument was moot. Both knew his past crept into his present from time to time. Even Doctor Sheldon had brought up the fact that L hadn't always been psychologically stable. Light sometimes wondered if it wasn't half the reason for his genius. L didn't have the same boundaries in his mind that others did. It could sometimes all spill together, sparking new and creative ways of thinking. Still, Light knew he'd love him no matter if he heard bells, trains or African lions. And he knew L would love him…despite his weaknesses to the Death Note, and despite all of the sins he'd committed against him. It had always been a good trade. He doubted either of them could have ever been loved by anyone else.

After starting up the fire and fetching L his pain medicine, Light plopped down on the couch beside his pain riddled love. After making sure L took his pills, Light curled up beside him, wrapping him up in both the blanket and his arms. He knew he'd stay with him throughout the storm and until his ache subsided. Until then, they'd pretend that they never muttered those words about the Death Note.


	25. Autumn Reunion

**Author's Note:** Sorry about the wait. My work schedule changed, and although I'm not working many more hours, I'm getting up at the crack of dawn, so more hours are wasted napping when I finally do get back home. So the middle of the day which is when I used to write is gone. In any case, I've already made adjustments and things should go more smoothly until the next time my schedule changes, which can be whenever the bosses please. Yay. *Snort*

In any case, as always, happy reading!

~Spotofpaint

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The plan they'd devised had finally been set. It had taken hours of discussion, but the pair knew now what they would be doing, how and when. Because there was no guarantee that Sheryl wouldn't be possessed when they went to confront her, both agreed that they would need to bring the Death Note with them. If she was possessed, and Kira tried to attack them, the Death Note would actually serve as a defense rather than a murder weapon. Neither was certain to as how to trap Kira inside of it. Light found himself missing Ryuk's company for the first time in years. But of course, asking Ryuk anything had always been risky to begin with. The shinigami hadn't always been truthful, or direct, and he left out important pieces of information. And Light was sure even Ryuk wouldn't know how to trap a demon inside his old notebook. And that was if Ryuk had even known Kira was inside of it to begin with.

Because of this, and because going in without any plan on how to trap him at all seemed crazy, L and Light invited James in on their conversation. After a long while, all three agreed it would be best to bring along the Bible too. James, of course, would be in charge of that half of the plan. James agreed to do, say or perform anything he felt necessary while all was taking place. If it helped in any way at all, L and Light knew they would be grateful. If not, there was still no harm in trying. After all, James seemed confident that he could help.

And of course, if Sheryl wasn't possessed, she would be easy to convince. Hopefully. Maybe. In any case, Light and L would be able to use her to set up a trap for Kira when he returned to her. And then they would catch him at a later date. But for now, they needed to wait for the delivery of the Death Note. Something everyone in the house was dreading.

It was the next day, a Tuesday morning that they expected the arrival of the Death Note. It would be carried to them personally of course by a highly classified individual handpicked by Quillish Whammy himself. There was no other way to transport such a dangerous weapon. And although securing it had been left up to Quil, L knew that the Death Note would arrive locked up and secured within something in some way where no one had access to it immediately. Surely Quil would contact them with a way of opening it that he would divulge only to L. And L, as much as he loved Light…no…_because_ he loved Light so much, would not be telling Light that code or secret. Light wouldn't be allowed anywhere near the notebook.

And so, on that Tuesday morning, the pair had been absorbed in distracting each other from the uncomfortable air the waiting had caused to form around them. They had bundled up in coats, hats, scarves and gloves, and they had gone to the front yard to rake up some leaves. The ground was very wet from the storm the day before and it had that familiar smell of dead leaves. They weren't yet decomposing, so it didn't have the sour smell of rot, but the freshly fallen scent of new additions to the browning grass. It was Jackie who was on duty today, and as such, he was content to stand ideally by and watch the pair as Light handed L a metal pronged rake.

With his bright red, knitted hat on top of his head, L's wild oil colored hair splotched outward like a weed that couldn't ever be contained. And with his matching scarf coming up to his nose, his equally as dark eyes peered out at the rake quizzically. Although the pair had lived in their bungalow last season as well, L hadn't been well from his injuries, and so Light had done all the yard work. This would be L's first time participating in leaf clean-up.

"Don't look at it like it's some sort of exotic animal. It's a stick with prongs on the end of it. You know exactly what it's for." Light bent to his work with ease. Clearly he'd raked leaves back home in Japan before he ever moved to America. He was an expert at it and had made a bare place on the earth within only a few seconds. L watched as he used the rake to draw back the thick blanket of dead leaves, some brightly colored, and others brown and dead, to reveal the equally dying grass beneath.

L couldn't help himself, the first thing he thought was that Light looked oddly attractive like that. His winter hat was of course just the right shade of brown to match his stylish jacket. And even though he was also bundled up beneath layers of clothing, L couldn't help but to think that the mist rising from his pinkened nose did something for his features. And there was also something about him doing work, physical labor that was nice. Or maybe it was just because he was slightly bent, revealing one of L's favorite curves on his rump.

L stared a moment longer, rake in hand, and not lifting a finger to help. Light glanced over; his slanted eyes growing sharp as they usually did when he was agitated.

"You gunna make me do it all myself? Come on Lawliet! A little labor won't kill you." L only appreciated that sharp look in his eyes even more. There wasn't a facial expression Light could make that he _didn't_ appreciate. L smiled a bit cockily to himself beneath his scarf, but not wanting to truly upset Light _too_ much, he indeed went to work. He copied Light, positioning his hands a few inches apart on the wooden rod, then bent over to the ground. Carefully, and like a true novice, he dug the prongs into the leaves before him and pulled them back.

The two worked silently for a few moments, L concentrating very hard on what he was doing. Within those first moments, Light had managed to rake up an entire pile of leaves for bagging. L had managed about a fourth of that. When he lifted his head and saw it he frowned. Light wasn't even breaking a sweat. L on the other hand was already tired. He knew it was because he hardly ever got any physical exercise, but that didn't mean he had to like the results. He pouted. But Light took no notice. He was busy with his work, his full attention on raking up a new pile of leaves which was growing by the second.

L watched for only a few breaths of cool November air, then immediately knew what he'd rather do. L released his rake, letting it fall to the earth, then quickly took up a run. He raced the few steps it took him to reach Light's newest pile of leaves he was trying to form, then leapt and jumped straight on in.

"Hey!" Light cried indignantly as all his hard work was ruined. L replied with a chuckle from inside the pile. It was big enough so that the force of his leap had sunken him in up to his chest. Now he sat in its center, triumphant grin on his lips.

"That's what Raito gets for being so serious." Light glowered, his lips drawing into an angry thin line.

"No! That's what I get for trying to clean and work hard."

"Oh loosen up. Come play with me!" Light's eyes seemed just as thin and as hard as his mouth. Even at the outrageous comment made so out of character by his partner.

"No! Lawliet we have to clean the yard!"

"Says who?"

"Says me!"

"Oh I can overthrow that easily. Come on. Let's have some fun. I miss relaxing with you." From within the pile and from within his cocoon of winter clothing, L splayed his hands outward, destroying the leaf pile in front of him and splashing it like water toward Light's face. The bright orange, reds, yellows and even a few greens went fluttering up into the air and glided down across Lights harsh features. A few dead brown leaves stuck to the top of his head and shoulders. L chuckled again, clearly in need of a release from all the stress he'd been under.

"Play with me," he prompted again. Light at first looked like he wanted to remain firm and stand his ground about needing to clean the yard, but…seeing L so playful was a rare sight indeed. Seeing him physically active was just as exceptional a moment, and seeing such a large smile grace his face when as of late it was usually full of pain or sorrow…was too good of an opportunity to pass. L was cute, no; he was adorable when he was happy. Light knew he couldn't resist such a face, such shining eyes.

"Come on Raito! Pull that stick out of your ass!" Light let out a snort at that one. L immediately started to toss leaves into the air toward him a second time, having seen the wavering grin and wanting to encourage it. Light couldn't resist. He accepted defeat and allowed his face to crack into a brightened smile.

"Ok! But you asked for it!" Without any warning at all, Light leapt into the pile also. But he didn't land beside L but on top of him. L let out a playful cry, overjoyed at the contact he now had with his partner. Light grabbed at him trying to force him down deeper into the leaves to bury him. L squirmed, and of course began fighting back.

"You'll have to do better than that Raito!" He rolled away with relative ease and quickly got up onto his feet. Light followed, and a second later, a game of tag was taking place in the yard.

Quillish Whammy watched from the window of his Old English Cadillac. He'd been watching for several moments. When he'd pulled up, he fully expected L to know that he was there, to have heard the car approach, and to also know that Quil had made the trip in person instead of sending someone as discussed. That's how good L was. Quil had half expected a trap or some sort of security when he arrived. But instead, he was rather shocked to see that his adopted charge was instead so absorbed in playing in the leaves with Light Yagami, that not only did he not notice Quil, he hadn't even heard the approach of the car. And what was more…was that Light hadn't either.

Both men were so distracted with one another that neither seemed concerned about the arrived Death Note at all. There was only one person who'd taken note of his arrival, and that man was Jackie Lee. Jackie had been watching like a hawk, and his sharp ears had heard the car long before it appeared down the gravel roadway. When it came into view, he hadn't approached. Quil knew it was because he was assessing the situation, the potential danger and also not wanting to leave Light and L when they were so vulnerable and absorbed in one another outside of the house. But after Quil arrived and had taken the shock of the scene before him in, the man started to approach.

Jackie reached the driver's side of the car, and Quil rolled down the window. At first neither said anything to each other. Jackie had little of importance to say after all, and Quil…well…Quil instantly became distracted by the shouts of joy and the loud laughter that spilled in through his now open window from the leafy yard. His old wrinkled eyes focused on those of the dark man's before him, and when he opened his mouth, the first thing that came out was:

"Is that…really my L?" He hadn't been preparing to ask such a question. He'd been preparing to introduce himself, to be polite and pleasant as always. To tell Jackie that he'd been reading his reports, that he'd been doing an excellent job. But instead…

"Is that…L? My L?" His old voice wavered as he asked the question again and again even without having given Jackie a chance to answer. The sight of L was just so astoundingly different from the last sight he'd had of him. Quil hadn't seen him in years. Not since that fateful day when he'd helped the boys fake their deaths and put them on that plane to America. He hadn't even been able to call. They'd forsaken all forms of communication in order to keep their story of L being dead a reality. And as such, Quil knew nothing about this L.

This L here before him looked like someone entirely different. He wasn't nearly as thin. Still skinny, yes, but he had gained several pounds. His skin was still pale, yes, but not a sickly white. The rings under his eyes…the rings that marked him for who he was, for what he had done with his life…the rings that told everyone he would sacrifice sleep forever to take down the bad guys…the rings Quil had been certain would be there forever, even after he retired…were completely gone. No bags. No dark circles. No dreary gaze wired only on caffeine and sugar instead of proper rest. Even his hunch was a little better. It could never completely go away of course, his spine was crooked, but it was better. Perhaps…having taken the entire weight of the world off of his shoulders helped him to stand up like a man.

But of course, the most drastic difference of all was how he moved, how he breathed and the expression on his face. Despite everything Quil knew was happening to him at this moment, despite knowing that Kira was after him that the Death Note was here, that he could lose his new life in an instant…he seemed carefree. He was _running_. Pink in his cheeks and nose, wind in the hair that escaped out from underneath his hat. Actually…as Quil watched, Light caught up to L and grabbed said hat right off of his head. L's wild hair spilt out, even thicker and healthier looking than ever Quil imagined.

L laughed. _Laughed._ His voice rose above the dead leaves and into the crisp air of autumn. He shoved Light away, grabbing at his scarf at the same time. The two started a type of tug-of-war with it.

L was smiling. Brightly. From end to end. His dark eyes squeezed shut with joy. His teeth showed whenever he opened his mouth to laugh again. He was simply shining. And Quil did not recognize him. He still wasn't entirely certain that the man he was looking at…the one on top the hill, the one laughing, in joy, in love, could possibly be the same L he thought he knew. This man looked and acted and _was_ an entirely different person.

"Yes," Jackie Lee suddenly said. And Quil wasn't startled by how baritone his voice was. "Yes, that is the same L. The same great detective. In my opinion, he's even greater now, sir." Quil turned his cool colored eyes to meet the dark man's. He recognized his tones well. Jackie was making it clear that if Quil disapproved of this new L, Jackie would have something to say about it. But it wasn't that Quil disapproved or was disappointed, it was just that he couldn't have been prepared for such a drastic change in his charge. He was simply shocked. L was very clearly and unmistakably in love; madly in love by the looks of it. And Quil hadn't thought he'd ever see him love anyone.

"What's our first move sir?" Jackie prompted. Quil tore his gaze away from the flirting couple, ignoring that he just seen their play turn a little more docile, ignoring that he'd seen L gently pull Light in closer by his snared scarf, ignoring that L's playful eyes had instead become filled with a very different emotion, and faced Jackie. Quil did not see the kiss, and he wasn't sure he was ready to. Instead, he tackled business.

"I have the notebook secured," he said. "No one's to touch it. I'll carry the case inside myself. It's inaccessible and should be safe." Jackie nodded, his face cold and very serious in stark comparison to the happy couple behind him on the hill.

"I'll get your door for you then." Jackie grabbed the car door's handle and swung it open for the elderly gentlemen. Quil stepped out of the vehicle, a thick, heavy, mean, metal looking briefcase in hand. It was handcuffed to his right wrist and it also had on a padlock, a security code pad, and an alarm system. Quil knew that both L and Light could eventually get by all four security devices, but it would take time, even for them. And it being handcuffed to his wrist, Quil knew he would become aware of any attempts on it before success.

He planted his well polished shoes on the gravel driveway, and it was only when he was standing up and out of the vehicle that finally L and Light took notice.

"Watari!" L cried in shock. At hearing his old alias, Quil looked up to find his charge now in the embrace of Light Yagami. It seemed the two had been interrupted as both were in each other's arms, but now; both pairs of eyes were staring down the hill at the arrived house guest. Quil felt his stomach do a flip inside. He wasn't sure how he felt about L's very clear relationship with the once proved serial murderer. In fact, a part of him still wondered if this all wasn't some elaborate hoax or huge long-term plan of Light's to escape prison, the electric chair and also to get his murder weapon back to himself. And of course, he would destroy L in the process, taking down his only enemy. If it were a huge ruse, Quil knew that Light had already won. L had very clearly given all that he was to the young man. And if Light turned out to have been using him all this time…

Quil shook his head. He couldn't think about those things now. If it were true, there was nothing they could do. Besides…it wasn't true. It couldn't be true. Light had the same dumbfounded face on as L did. And his blush was just as deep. Quil didn't think a man could fake such interest in his partner.

"Watari, you came yourself!" Quil stared in unexpected shock as L turned away from Light and came running down the hill. Quil was equally unprepared for L when he opened his arms wide and suddenly threw them around him in a tight embrace. Quil's gray, wrinkled eyes widened in surprise. L was squeezing him tightly, his thin body not nearly as thin as Quil remembered. No bones jutted into him.

"I didn't think I'd see you again!" Quil wasn't sure how to react. The two had never been physical, even when L was a child. And he didn't think they'd really been as close as L seemed to be demonstrating now. Slowly, and hesitantly, he raised his free hand and patted L on his back. As Light started much more calmly down the hill, the two pulled apart. L smiled.

"I've missed you. We have a spare bedroom. You're staying until this mess with Kira is taken care of, yes? Clearly, or you wouldn't have this." L pointed to the briefcase and handcuffs. Quil realized then that despite everything he'd just witnessed, L was no less intelligent. He'd been calling him Watari for a very specific reason. Quil was sure that L wanted to use his real name. But Watari was the perfect alias. Because Light and L had been living in America using their real names, if Quil were caught hanging around with them, the puzzle pieces would already be put together. He was most obviously Watari from Japan and from the Kira case. There was no denying it in L and Light's presence. But, no one had ever figured out his real name during the case. As such, the safest alias to use was his old one. L had already thought of this and had done it even in the split second of shock in seeing his old guardian on his doorstep. And he even knew how long he'd be staying, simply by looking at the briefcase he held.

Quil smiled softly. Jackie was right. L was only greater for the changes he'd gone through. And knowing he hadn't suddenly become as dumb as everyone else made Quil proud somehow.

It was when he lifted his head that he noticed Light had stopped moving toward the group and was now standing a good distance away at the end of the driveway. He had a strange expression on that he couldn't read. But L, seeing Quil's gaze, followed it back to his partner. And Quil saw that whatever the coded expression was saying, wasn't coded at all for L. L hurried to his partner, standing very close in front of him. Leaning in, he gently raised a hand to his cheek. L spoke softly then, his voice using tender tones, purring tones that Quil had never heard before in all his life. He couldn't quite hear what L was saying to Light, or what the matter was, but whatever L was saying clearly was relaxing the uptight young man. His shoulders sagged and he started to unwind. His almond eyes shifted away from Quil's briefcase and to the wide orbs of his lover. Light nodded curtly once. Quil's stomach still felt tight. Simply at seeing the way L caressed Light's cheek. He still wasn't sure he liked it.


	26. Quil

Author's Note: I'm sorry about the length of time between updates. But unfortunately, it will be growing longer between updates before it gets shorter. My job has just switched me to full time, which is great considering my financial situation. But it also means I'll have almost no time left to write. Also, I just found out a few days ago that my father has cancer. So I'm dealing with that. And then Christmas and a few birthdays are coming up. And I also still have a roommate and a girlfriend to squeeze in here somehow. So things are looking uh…crazy at least until Christmas is over. But fear not too much, as always, I have a few back up chapters in stock. So you should get at least something every few weeks.

Peace.

~Spotofpaint

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Quil had assumed that the moment he arrived, especially because it was only mid-day, that the group would head out toward the higher mountains to confront Sheryl. But instead, he was brought inside where L began showing him the house.

"It was hard to get originally. We only had a few thousands left from what you'd given us. And we lost a lot of money in our escape from Atlanta. We were mainly living at the hospital. While I recovered, Light had a few months to find a new job and he started earning money soon after. And of course, my linguist job was brining in most of the cash. Did you know I'm a famous translator now? They only give me the hardest texts. I made a new alias just for my new job. It's Vox, if you ever wanted to look me up. It'd be a safe way for us to stay in contact, even if you could never ask me anything personal. Vox is 'word' in Latin by the way. Oh! And this is the sofa Light picked out. I have no idea about furniture, so he picked out everything. He let me pick out the lamps though, but of course, it was only because the one I liked happened to match the other things he was using to decorate with. Oh! Watari! We have a fireplace! Look! It's my favorite thing about the living room."

Quil was flabbergasted. He hadn't said a word since the tour had started. He hadn't really expected L to care about such trivial things. And if he did, he didn't expect L to want to talk about all of it. And he certainly wasn't prepared for the huge amount of physical contact they were having. L had grabbed his arm on the way inside and hadn't let go since. And he used it to drag his old guardian from room to room. Last Quil had checked, L had been terrified of physical touch. Almost any kind. Even a pat on the back. And Quil knew it had been because of all that had been done to him. Quil would never forget the horrors the case in Australia had brought them. He would never forget The Burner.

"And this is where I work. I got a really ancient Egyptian stone tablet the other day. Well a picture of it anyway. And I told them how stupid they'd been to expose it to light. It was thousands of years old. They really could have destroyed it in how they'd been removing it from the tomb. Morons. But, they managed to get me some clear shots of the hieroglyphics. It was fascinating stuff. But I'll go on and on about it if I don't stop now. We should move to the kitchen!"

Again, Quil was dragged by his arm into another room. The excitement in L's voice was startling. His tones were much higher than ever Quil remembered. And there was no flat, deadpanned tones. He was so…so…_alive_. Even in the way he moved. He wasn't stiff and rigid, but quick and flowing. He'd always been flexible, hence his training in capoeira, but he had never acted as if he'd wanted to move about. He only did when he had to.

"Quil! You don't know yet! I'm off of sweets!" It was at this remark that Quil finally responded. His head whipped around as his old wrinkled eyes widened in surprise.

"What?" he questioned. L nodded proudly, his face glowing.

"Raito did it. It was all thanks to him. I never could have done it myself. It was terrible at first…there were withdrawals you know. Very painful. I threw up sometimes…unable to keep down real food. But he created meals that had both real nutrients in them and a lot of good tasting sugar. I still love his pancakes. And orange chicken! And eventually, over the course of time, I was able to start eating real things. My body adjusted. It just took some time."

Quil stared. Simply stared. That was one thing he never truly thought was possible. Quil recalled having first received L as a small child from the orphanage with the train trestle that ran overhead. Quil had tried at that time to get him to eat something other than sweets and candy. The entire endeavor had been a huge failure. No one at Whammy's House could stand the screaming. No one could stand the huge fits and temper tantrums the young L had thrown when he wasn't fed what he wanted. And because the adults were so eager to start L's training…Quil had satisfied L's lust by giving him the corrupting sweets.

Of course now, in seeing what it took to actually get L off of sweets, Quil knew he never would have been able to achieve it in the environment they were in. L had needed time. Months of it, according to his story. And he needed constant support and attention. Something Quil never would have been able to offer him. Quil recalled in fact…hardly ever being there for L when he was young. Quil was always dealing with other children in Whammy's House, or dealing with cases. L, for the most part, raised himself for those first few early years. And now…Quil couldn't help but to feel guilty about it. He knew just how badly L had needed a parental figure. And although Quil had been the best he had, it hadn't been good enough. If he had been a true parent, he never would have let L become the detective he was. He never would have let certain atrocities befall him.

"And this is the cookie jar!" L was saying now. "Light monitors my cookies and only puts in three a day. He hides the rest of them. I could have located them by now if I'd wanted…but I enjoy our system and I don't want to ruin it. Besides, he's a good cook." Quil's heart was starting to ache at the sight of L so happy. He realized that the entire time he'd been raising L, he'd been fooling himself into thinking the child was a lost cause. That nothing could fix his crooked back; nothing would get him to eat right or sit up straight, or hold pencils properly. He'd convinced himself that his psychological trauma induced by his abusive parents were half the reason he was such a genius. Wanting to use L's skills…Quil had never gotten him professional help.

"Oh! And Light bought an electric stove that keeps a light on when the burners are still hot, because I burnt myself once in Atlanta. But of course, I hardly ever do any cooking. Sometimes I make pudding." His heart twisted even further. All it had taken to cure L of most of his ailments, even some of the severe psychological ones…was some love and attention. Some concern over how many cookies he ate, how to keep him from burning himself on the stove, keeping a track of what he ate: these were all ways Light told L he loved him. By taking care of him. By making sure L knew he cared for his health, his well being. Something a guardian such as himself should have been doing all along.

"I bought the coffee pot though. Raito loves his coffee. We buy only the half-decaffeinated kind though. I think he drinks too much of it, but he's like a zombie on no caffeine at all." L chuckled. Quil knew then that L took care of Light too. He was sure there would be more evidence all over the house. Every object in every nook and cranny had been purchased through affection. The house was so warm, and so alive, and so full of emotion that it penetrated Quil's outer shell. It was becoming almost overwhelming.

Quil found himself starting to feel almost jealous, or as if he'd been wronged in some way. Surely L couldn't be this happy with Light. Was it really all Light's doing? And why couldn't Quil have achieved these things? Quil knew he had no one but to blame but himself for the guilt and heavy feelings that suddenly were weighing him down. He simply hadn't been a good guardian. And the more L showed him his new life, the more he explained, the worse the feeling got.

"Watari, if you're hungry, I'll have Raito cook up some of his famous…" L's voice trailed off, for he'd turned to face his guardian instead of the coffee pot, and he had clearly seen the expression on his face. L's smile vanished. He much more resembled the L Quil once knew now, but even so, this new face of concern was very different from his old one. He no longer hid his emotions. L wore them on his sleeve for the world to see. Had Light made him that confident with himself, with who he was?

"Watari?" Quil sighed and turned his head away to glance at the baseboards near the floor.

"Don't you want to catch Sheryl?" he suddenly asked. "Don't you want to go after Kira? I'm here, we have the Death Note. What're you waiting for?" Quil saw L's face change instantly at the mention of the Death Note, even out of the corner of his vision. It was almost a wince that crossed over his eyes, as if Quil had just struck him. Quil knew what he'd just said was harsh. He wasn't even exactly sure why he'd felt the need to say it. He'd interrupted a sort of dream world. A type of safe haven, or fantasy. He could have at least allowed L to finish showing him the house. But…he had to say it. He had to ask. He needed to bring the harsh reality of it to light so he could see L's reaction. He needed to see what L would do once presented with a case that he'd been working on for years. A case he had put all he was into. A case he had abandoned for this new dream world he was living in. He needed to see if L would respond like the blood hound he once was. He needed to see if this dream of his would hold up under the harsh reality of his old life. He needed to see what this new L…

"I don't want that anymore Watari…" His voice had come softly. And when Quil raised his eyes to look at him directly, he found L wearing a very clear expression of pain. He was shocked at the extreme way he held himself. L stood stiffly now, one foot back away from Quil. He truly looked as if he'd been injured. "That's not what I want from you." His voice came desperately, and then suddenly he shouted, loud. "It never was!"

Light and Jackie had been staying in the living room to let L have some quality time with his old guardian. But at the sudden shout, both were instantly in the doorway, smashing against one another's shoulders to try and enter at the same time.

"What's going on?" Light demanded. He did _not_ like the expression on L's face. But L hadn't lifted his head to look at either new party member. He kept his gaze on Quil. His face was tight. His skin was drawn over his flesh like a snare drum. There was also a good amount of anger mixed in. His dark eyes flashed.

"Don't you want to hear about what I've been doing the past three years? Don't you want to know how I've been living? Isn't that why you came in person instead of sending someone else? Isn't that why you came? To see me? Tell me! Tell me Quil that you didn't come for the sake of the chase, for the sake of the Death Note or for Kira! Tell me this isn't about solving the case!"

Quil stood feeling dumbstruck. And he also felt a hot wave of humiliation wash over his face at the use of his real name. He knew he must have been as red as a tomato by then. Light and Jackie were right there, watching. And Quil never would have expected L to react in such a way. He'd simply never known that he'd felt so strongly about their relationship. And besides…over all the years he'd known him…L had always taken things that upset him quietly and with dignity. There had been plenty of circumstances when harsh and hurtful things had been said to him by people, much crueler people than Quil, and L had never flinched, hardly ever bat an eye. He would simply explain in his usual calm voice that they were either wrong or right, and then move on. He never expected an outburst of emotion.

L let out a quick, despairing rush of air, and with that, Light suddenly rushed in. He ran to L's side, grabbing onto his upper arms to steady him, and also to comfort him. Socked feet planted firmly behind his love on the linoleum, Light faced Quil as well. His eyes were harsh. They were as sharp and as demanding as razors. Quil knew then that Light would kick him straight out of the house if he said something he didn't like. Light would not hold back if Quil said something hurtful again. No matter the Death Note. No matter the plans they had in place.

Quil swallowed harshly only once. Still…all the same, Light or no Light in the picture, Quil had to express how important this mission actually was. Had L and Light forgotten that their very lives were in danger? Surely they weren't that lukewarm. Quil stood a little more firmly and then opened his mouth to answer.

"I…"

"Let's have lunch," It was Light who suddenly said it, interrupting Quil's answer. He had been reading Quil's body language with ease, and he knew he had to interrupt the old man before he said another word. If he didn't, L would be crushed by whatever was about to leave his lips. "Lawliet really wants you to eat lunch with us." And despite the dangerous look in Light's eyes, his voice was soft. He was still asking. Quil had the option to say no. But at the same time, he knew Light would raise Hell if he did.

Slowly, carefully, he raised his wrinkled eyes to meet L's, to read him. L still looked hurt. As if Quil had truly injured him in some way. But there was also a desperation there that Quil hadn't seen before. The idea of eating lunch together truly did seem to be a desire he had.

"We…have to eat…and gain our strength before we can catch Kira," L suddenly said. Quil recognized the offer, and also the compromise. L was offering to go after Sheryl after lunch, if only Quil would participate in his new world for one meal. Quil hadn't ever meant to turn his new life away entirely. But he now realized that what he'd said had been a huge mistake. L had taken it as a rejection. And he'd been trying so hard to gain approval of his new lifestyle from the only parental figure he had. Quil hadn't meant it in the way it had been taken by everyone else in the room. It had only been a test…

…and maybe that's why L had reacted so harshly. L had known it was a test. He'd been tested his entire life. Quil had tested him harshly as a child. L knew exactly when Quil was setting him up. But now…L wasn't accepting tests anymore. And he had been expecting something else from Quil. That much had been clear when he used his real name in his outburst.

The heavy guilt from before attacked full force as Quil saw both Light and L's gaze. Their eyes were magnetic. And they were damning. And seeing how Light took care of L…in a way Quil never could, was another blow. Quil sighed heavily, his shoulder's sagging. The least he could do…was eat a meal with the man he had nearly destroyed when he was a child.

"Of course I'll stay for lunch," he finally said. "And as long as you'd like me to afterward." But this patch-up wasn't going to work. It seemed the damage was done. His offer fell on deaf ears. L looked away.

"No…we'll go catch Kira after lunch. And then you can go back to England." It was L who said it. And now Quil understood that as he had rejected L, L was now rejecting him. The sting had been too much. The young man turned away and quickly started for the kitchen door. His hunch was as deep as Quil remembered it.

Lunch was awkward. Very _very_ awkward. Light and L had called over James so that he could bring his Bible and be prepared for departure. All five men would be leaving together and taking the same car. As such, everyone had eaten around the same table and had all ingested Light's marvelous chicken burgers. But nothing had been said. Even James who'd just arrived on the scene had sensed the heavy air. And things were so thick that he hadn't even bothered to ask despite his talkative nature.

After a wordless, uncomfortable meal, Light cleaned up and then all five men piled into the secret service car. Jackie would be driving as always and James would ride in the front. L, being the smallest, rode in the center of the backseat, Light on one side and Quil on the other. The suitcase containing the Death Note sat in Quil's lap.

The first half of the trip was just as silent as lunch and no one said a word. Poor James, squirming from the agitation of it all, switched the radio on low, just to try and dispel the bad air in the car. The soft tune of a female rock stare filled the silence with nothing any better. The country roads around them were filled with the remaining brightly colored fall leaves. Oranges and yellows whizzed by the windows. L kept his gaze out of the window Light sat beside, never glancing Quil's way.

Quil, still feeling guilty and very sorry for what he'd said, finally broke the silence.

"I'm sorry." It was like the air had solidified into a brick. No one moved. L hadn't responded or turned his gaze, but Quil knew he was listening. "I'm sorry Lawliet. Not just for today. I…I wasn't a very good guardian when you were growing up. I could have been much more for you. And I'm sorry I wasn't." Slowly, L moved. He turned away from the mountain scenery outside and shifted his dark eyes to his guardian. His expression wasn't nearly as harsh as it was back at the house.

"I understood…even at my age…that you wouldn't be acting as a real parent to me Quil." Because they were in a secured car, one routinely checked by the secret service, it was safe to speak real names inside. Even so, L spoke softly, as if the very subject were forbidden. And in a sense it was. Quil and L had never really talked about it before. It was a buried taboo. "You told me the day you adopted me…that you were taking me because I was special, because I was intelligent. You had told me while still in the old orphanage, before we even stepped outside the door, that you wouldn't be taking me home to a house, but to another orphanage with other special children. You'd told me then…and I was prepared…to be educated and trained like a student or employee…not coddled and loved like a son."

Quil couldn't help but to wince. The way L said it, although all of it was true, made it sound so cold and heartless. Quil hadn't thought so at the time. But now he heard the lack of caring in those words. What that must have meant to a five year old who'd just suffered such abuse from his biological parents, Quil could only imagine. Wouldn't he have been like any other orphaned boy? Surely he'd been dreaming of a new family; one that would treat him properly.

"Once I was brought to Whammy's…I understood immediately that you would not have time to treat me like the child I wanted to be. There were so many other children who needed you. There were children younger than me…more traumatized than me. I mean…the things Nate went through were more than I…" but L stopped himself, his eyes suddenly very sad. "But none of that matters now."

Quil argued against that inside. It did matter. The expression on L's face told him it mattered a great deal. But he knew what L was saying. He was saying there was nothing they could do. And that was true. They could not turn back time.

"I got so upset in the house because…we are not at Whammy's House. You don't have anything other to do. There's no one else taking your time away. And while you are here, there are no other cases to attend but mine. And it's such a personal case. I thought…outside of all of that…you might…" his voice trailed off again. Or rather, it was choked off. Quil knew what L had been hoping for. And Quil knew that if he hadn't been able to offer it then, when he was a child, when he really needed it, then there was no way Quil would be able to offer it now that he was a man.

"I have to leave eventually," Quil said gently. "I thought giving you more time with me would only make it harder." L suddenly chuckled. But it was a dark, dismal chuckle; a sad noise that escaped his throat. He gazed toward his guardian woefully.

"Do not pretend that I wouldn't see through such a lie. The only reason you would say something like that and test me is because you're uncomfortable or unhappy with what I've become. If you were happy, you would have been happy to stay a day or two. You never would have tried to test me when you know I hate it so very much. You said something so hurtful because you feel inadequate as a parent, which is ridiculously considering you'd never really tried to be one in the first place."

Quil was quiet for a moment as he absorbed the sting. He knew it was true. He couldn't deny it. Seeing L whole and healthy, alive and happy, made Quil regret the way he'd raised him. It made him regret the things he didn't do. It wasn't that he was unhappy with what L had become, it was that he was unhappy with how it made him feel about himself. He knew it wasn't fair. But he also knew he couldn't help it.

And there was another piece of it: it was that he was also uncomfortable. Light unsettled him. Knowing that L and Light were _together_ unsettled him. Maybe it was the idea of them being romantic together that made him feel ill. Whatever the reason, he didn't like knowing that Light was touching his charge. Perhaps it was left over feelings of protectiveness, fierce protectiveness that Quil had developed during the after math of the Burner case. Quil had never let anyone physically near L again after that time. But all the same, what Quil would have L do, or live like instead was unknown. He was happy here. He was happy with Light. Quil could never ask him to throw that away.

"All the same, I'm sorry. For not being there." L was quiet this time. But only for a second or two.

"It's ok now. I have someone who is." L reached out then to Light's hand, resting on the seat. Light responded immediately, taking up a strong, firm hold on L's fingers. The two squeezed, and Quil glanced away.


	27. Possession

**Author's Note:** Well as I'm sure a lot of you figured out by now, life has gotten pretty rough for me. It only seems to get worse as time progresses. I've been waiting for things to turn around for a few years now, but it just isn't happening. As such, instead of apologizing every time I post a chapter for long waits, I'm simply going to ask you all to be patient and expect monthly updates instead of weekly ones like I used to be able to do.

My dad will be having surgery on Dec 7th and I will be travelling out of state to go take care of him for a few days. Christmas is also among us and I'll be in New York for a week or so during the end of the month. Also, because I've been unable to get a job in my area of study, I've been working retail the past few months. Obviously, December is any retail positions busiest time of the year. So I've been working overtime on top of all my personal problems. So in all honestly, you probably won't see another chapter from me until January.

I'm hoping and praying that things will settle down a little bit once the holidays are over. I'd love nothing more than to finish up this fan-fiction. I have a clear ending for it in view, but it'll take several more chapters to execute. In any case, I wish I had more happy news for you readers who have stuck with me for so long. It has indeed been several years since I first wrote Friend or Foe. Hopefully things will be different later on down the road. But I don't count on having the time to write that I used to. For now, enjoy this chapter. It's long, and I've redone it about five times, so it should be perfect by now. Haha!

Again, thank you everyone for reading and for your support.

~Spotofpaint

* * *

According to the tracking GPS system the secret service car had installed, the group was very near Sheryl's cabin. They would be pulling right up front, as close to the mountain home as possible, so that they could have a quick getaway if need be. There was little need for stealth, seeing as Sheryl was still gravely injured, despite it having been a few weeks. She wouldn't be able to run, and would even be less capable of attacking five full grown men.

All the same, everyone in the car had become tense. They began preparing for their arrival. Quil and L began conversing in Morse code, tapping on top of the slick metal suitcase containing the Death Note. Light normally would have been offended, but he knew perfectly well what they were doing. Quil was giving L the access codes to the case. Light would never be privileged to them, and so he said nothing as they tapped out a rhythm of numbers, letters and passwords. Despite the obvious emotional issues that had arisen between the two, they still worked together like well oiled cogs in a machine. There wasn't even a breath or question of when to discuss the codes. They just began tapping.

James was also preparing himself up front in the passenger's seat. Light saw him lift his eyes to the roof of the car. But he very clearly wasn't looking at the type of cloth that covered the vehicles ceiling. His eyes were far, far beyond that. And even though he wasn't folding his hands, Light knew very well that he was praying, and praying hard. Whatever it was that he was discussing privately with God, seemed much more intense than L and Quil's fierce discussion on top of the suitcase. Light wondered what he could possibly be saying. Perhaps asking for protection? Luck? Strength? Light didn't know what it usually was people asked God for. Or even if James was asking for anything.

Both conversations stopped once they pulled around the last bend in the twisting mountain road. After the last cliff and guardrail, they took a sharp left and headed up a gravel driveway. Quil took the key to his handcuffs and unlocked himself from the case. He handed it to L, who seemed to take the case into his pale hands with ease, despite Light's knowing how much he hated and feared the Death Note. The cuffs were forgotten on the floor of the car. It seemed the case wouldn't need to be handcuffed to anyone. L kept a firm grip on it, and seemed ready to open it at any second should the need arise.

James also gripped his Bible with just as much intensity. His book, of course, didn't need to be locked away in a case with three different codes. His was free for use at any time. And it seemed he'd already bookmarked a passage he thought might help.

Jackie put the car in park and then turned it off. All four doors of the vehicle were swung open. Each man stepped out of his own door, and L stepped out with Light. The doors were shut, the slamming of them seemed absurdity loud in the crisp mountain air. Sheryl would know someone was in her front yard, even if she were in the back part of the house.

The team took in their surroundings, immediately noticing the very obviously stolen car just in front of the garage. It looked like it hadn't been moved since it had been parked there. Jackie adjusted his holster and L gripped Light's hand as he held the suitcase in the other.

Silently, they started toward the house. Jackie and James headed to the door first, signaling for the other three to stand aside and back away from the door. They would be handling the initial entrance. Normally, James would head around back to block the exit, but this wasn't a bust. If Sheryl decided to run, as previously discussed, she wouldn't get far on her injuries. Even if she was possessed, Kira would only tear apart his host if he pushed her too far.

James stood to one side of the door, gun drawn and ready while Jackie stood to the other. Carefully, Jackie knocked on the front door. They waited. Then waited some more. But there was no answer. The two body guards didn't hear any noise coming from inside the house.

Jackie gave James a meaningful look. James nodded and hunkered down just next to the front window where he had a good view of the front room. Jackie then reached out and tried the door handle. It turned easily in his hand and the front door swung inward.

L's heart immediately leapt up and into his throat. This one fact meant that many more automatically followed. The front door had been left unlocked on purpose. No woman in her right mind would leave her front door unlocked when she's all alone, and injured on top of a lonely mountain peak. Of course, Sheryl wasn't of right mind, but this didn't exempt her from the rule. She was being possessed by Kira after all, and Kira was a smart cookie. There was no mistake to as why the door opened with such ease; Sheryl had to have left the door open on purpose. And if that was so, then it meant she was expecting them. It also meant that she was more likely than not, already repossessed by Kira. If she hadn't been, she would have come to answer the door herself or had been too doped up on drugs to rise out of bed.

The entire situation reeked of a trap. And L knew that Jackie and James felt it too. He could see from the looks on their faces that they already understood the situation. And of course, nothing needed to be explained to Light and Quil.

Jackie ducked into the open front door anyway, gun held out before him.

"This is the police!" He hollered, loudly. Loudly enough to make L and Light jump a tad. Jackie had a booming voice when need be. Just as discussed, if something went wrong, and for some reason Sheryl wasn't present or someone else was, they would work under the guise of being regular police officers. This worked out perfectly, since there was a stolen car in the front yard. Of course, they didn't have warrants to enter the house…but the secret service would take care of any loose ends they created.

"Come out with your hands up!" The door now opened and Jackie fully inside the front entrance, James moved from his position near the window and up behind him in the doorway to cover him. The two worked well together. Almost as well as L and Quil.

"I've been expecting you." The clichéd line came from a soft, seductive female voice. She hadn't been hiding at all. In fact, she was seated comfortably in an arm chair just in front of the TV, which was off. The bandages on her face had been removed. And from the looks of it, they'd been removed far too early. Her face was red and swollen, her stitches very obvious to even an untrained eye. Without the professional help of a doctor to aid in her healing process, things were going terribly wrong with her face. It was a gruesome, gory sight: puss and ooze having dried in patches over her incisions. Purple and gray bruises were still visible from Light's attack weeks ago. Her skin hardly even resembled skin anymore at all, but perhaps dry leather.

She smiled. Something that looked incredibly painful to do. But she didn't seem to notice in the slightest. Either she was on very powerful pain medications…or…she was so completely possessed at this point that there was little to no Sheryl left to even speak of. Even Jackie could see that this woman had something evil lurking inside of her. Her once beautiful, crystal blue eyes were now something too terrifying to describe. They had a darkness in them that changed their color entirely.

James crossed himself. Something he never even practiced in his branch of Christianity.

"Oh, did my sweet Light bring body guards with him? Don't worry, I would never harm him. Never. Not his perfect body." She was in a set of very expensive looking lingerie. Silk and pink, it accentuated the fact that even though her face could have been something out of a horror movie, her body was still as perfect as ever. Her breasts swelled within their pink lacy container. The straps that fell down her body emphasized her voluptuous curves. Normally, a man would notice a body like that first, out of everything else around him. But her face was so hideous that her body had only come in second place. If someone had put a bag over her head, she would have been considered a hot prize indeed. But with her face the way it was…

"Where is he? Where's my Light?" Sheryl, stood up slowly. The blanket she'd had on her legs slipped away, falling to the ground. This only revealed more skin, and an even smaller bottom to her lingerie than her top. Her plump, round butt was clearly visible through little more than a g-string. Both Jackie and James kept their guns out and tried their best not to look at either her body, due to modesty, or her face, due to horror.

"Why does it reek in here?" The sudden question came from James. Jackie raised an eyebrow. He smelt it too. Almost like something was rotting. The smell started the moment Sheryl stood up, and her face was closer to their level. He wondered briefly if that something that smelt was Sheryl's face…or if it were her entire body. It defiantly seemed to be coming from her presence. It wafted outward from her and over the two men. Perhaps she was rotting away inside. The idea didn't seem too farfetched. It was easy to imagine that Sheryl was already dead and decaying inside and that Kira now possessed a dead body. Could Kira even do such a thing? The question, thankfully, would go unanswered. All the same…James seemed to be suffering from the smell much more than Jackie was. Whatever the foul odor was…it seemed to be over powering him.

"Oh my God…it's disgusting." James shivered in place, his gun still firmly in hand. Sheryl turned to face him, and he almost started to gag. The rotten odor was worse. It was only through sheer force of will that he didn't allow the thick, heavy, putrid smell over take his senses entirely. It could have been a mixture of sulfur and rotten eggs, and he couldn't afford to throw up now. He'd be helpless if he got sick.

"That's not very polite. Don't you know how to speak to a lady?" James stared, his brown eyes wide. He'd never seen a devil in person before. But he knew that's what he was facing now. Her eyes were so unnatural. He couldn't see any piece of a human being left in those eyes.

"You ain't no lady," he answered immediately.

"Such a rude lap dog. Where's my Light." She took a step forward and then stopped suddenly. Her gaze turned slowly back to James. And it was a dangerous, terrifying gaze; something very different from her previous gaiety. The flesh of her face seemed to curl. Her wounds suddenly began to bleed and ooze fresh puss, ever so slightly. James wasn't sure he would have even been able to notice through the wrinkles and gore if it weren't for how suddenly intense her eyes became. Sheryl glared. No, she snarled. Her injected lips wrinkled, the upper one rising until her perfectly white teeth were exposed. Her face transformed, and it was no longer difficult to see the true face of Kira through it.

"What is that?" Her voice came in a low, terrifying growl. The tones of it warped and skewed. It hardly sounded like an earthly woman at all. James knew that the voice was Kira's. "What is that? What have you brought into my abode?" The growl in the back of her throat became louder as her fury seemed to rise. "You did _not_ bring _that book_ into _my_ house!" James knew then that Kira sensed the Bible, even though it was hidden away underneath his coat. His trembling increased. He was scared. He knew he would be, facing something like this. But seeing her face…seeing it warp and twist and split like that, was more horrifying than he ever could have imagined. Blood began to ooze out of her stitches.

_It's ok. She…he…it can't come near. _He told himself. And it seemed true. Sheryl stood at a set distance away, hissing and spitting, but she didn't come any closer. Jackie took a few quiet steps closer to his partner for protection.

"Light! Lawliet! We're ready!" Jackie hollered.

L and Light stepped into the front doorway, unhesitant, despite all they'd heard outside. They stepped in together and at the same time, holding each other's hands firmly. Sheryl's gaze whipped away from James and immediately to the pair. Her crazed eyes fell to the intertwined fingers. She at first seemed infuriated. Her face only warped further as she focused on this small display of love and affection. But before she could fully become enraged, her gaze shifted to L's other hand and to the metal suitcase.

At first, she only stared. But then slowly, a grin was born and twisted through her warped features. It grew, gouging wrinkles into her cheeks and face. A low, careful chuckle rippled through the back of her chest, then rose into her throat. It was quiet and creepy enough at first, but then it grew in strength until it passed her perverted lips. It entered into the air as a damned creation, expressing a type of joy that humans did not experience. Of course, a human being wouldn't have even described it as joy. But perhaps it was the closest thing a demon knew of.

Only a second later, Sheryl threw back her head and howled with laughter. Her blue eyes glowed a hellish red, her mouth opened as widely as it could, the corners of her mouth cracking from the strain.

L stared. Crow-like eyes wide with horror. He'd seen that face before; heard that laughter. He'd seen the same exact expression, the same display of cruel joy come from someone he now loved more than anyone else on the earth. And it sent a horror right down to his core. He clutched the suitcase, wondering now if he hadn't made a terrible miscalculation in bringing the Death Note with him. His grip on Light's hand increased, and Light squeezed just as tightly back.

Light moved in closer to L's side. With his free hand, he gripped L's shoulder. He would keep him close. His expression hard as stone, he watched Kira laugh the way he once did inside of his own body. Light knew what L was thinking. And he wondered the same thing. Kira was overjoyed at the Death Note's presence.

Finally, Sheryl's laughter died. She leaned forward, gasping for air from the physical exhaustion such an expression took on her injured body. But she just as quickly righted herself, throwing her hair back, her eyes sharp.

"Oh Light, darling. You want to come back to me so badly that you even brought your old toy with you. It's…very romantic." Sheryl took another step forward, somehow passing into the zone she couldn't earlier due to the Bible. James's face changed drastically then and he immediately holstered his gun, knowing it would do him no good.

L instinctively stepped in front of Light, shielding him from Sheryl's approach.

"You stay away! He's not yours anymore!" L suddenly cried, his voice strained. Kira chuckled.

"Maybe not…but he isn't really yours either, now is he?" Kira took another step forward. And as L turned to grab a hold of his lover, James stepped in Kira's path. His face was stern, and serious. His usual joy filled eyes were now filled with icy stone. It was different to see someone so easy going, someone who enjoyed life so fully, suddenly become something that could only be described as a soldier or warrior. He looked as if he were prepared for battle. And he was. James suddenly grabbed for his Bible and whipped it out from underneath his coat. Sheryl let out a loud, startling hiss.

"Get out of my way cop! My true love is waiting for me!"

"You were right earlier! He's not yours anymore! And he's not L's either! He's God's!" James cried. Sheryl sneered, her chuckle returning.

"Mortals…I'll never get tired of mortals! Such things they believe!"

"If there wasn't a God, this book wouldn't have any power. Clearly you don't like it. That must mean something."

"Say whatever you want. You won't get in my way. Not when I'm this close."

But James seemed to dare. Despite how afraid he really was. He didn't hesitate to flip open his Bible to one of the several pages he had marked. L and Light only watched. They'd given him authority to do whatever he felt necessary with his Bible and at any given time. There was no reason to stop him now. If it worked…this would all be over soon.

"In the name and words of Jesus, our Lord Christ, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men." Kira did _not_ seem happy. He let out a loud, terrible hiss, like hot water escaping a tea kettle. He took a step backward away from James.

"Fool! It's just a book! It has no power over me now! I've risen from the depths! My powers are earth bound! I'll incinerate you where you stand!" But it was ridiculous for Kira to claim such a thing after his initial reaction. The Bible clearly was doing something. And Kira's powers, if he still had them, weren't present as James read. James flipped to another passage as everyone else in the room watched with great interest.

"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High, Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, "_He is_ my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust." James took a bold step forward, Jackie still aiming his gun at Sheryl should she…he…_it_ decide to lunge or try something. He was pretty sure his bullets wouldn't do anything against something so supernatural, but at least he could stop Sheryl's physical body. Kira took another step back. Sheryl's face began to bleed more profusely the closer James got to her. She let out a vicious snarl, and started looking as if she were more desperate for a release. In agony, she turned her eyes away from James, as if she were unable to even look at him. Instead, she focused exclusively on Light. Her eyes, now a piercing blood red as she trembled, were vivid with a hellish light.

"I never thought that _you_ Light Yagami, would allow such foolishness to take place! You! Of all people! You're smarter than this! It's just words on paper! How can you believe such idiocy? Leave these retards behind! You're better than them! All of them! You're the closest thing a mortal can be to a god!" Light only increased his grip around L's shoulders. Both men gazed at Kira with a solidity that couldn't be denied.

"It doesn't seem like idiocy at the moment," Light answered coolly. "And L has shown me how ridiculous it really is to believe that I'm anything more than human."

Kira growled in fury, then suddenly let out a terrible roar. She threw back her head and howled out a terrible noise, full of gravel and grime. Such a noise as a human voice couldn't create. There was a weight to it, and it washed over all four men. L flinched, turning his head away and into Light's shoulder. James stood upright against it.

"In the name of Christ, begone evil demon! Leave this innocent girl and go back to whence you came! For we shall not be afraid of the terror by night, nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness! No evil shall befall us, for God shall give His angels charge over us." There was no warning. Sheryl's body seemed to almost explode. There was a deafening noise, and all four men let out cries of alarm, flinching and looking away. When they were able to open their eyes again, Sheryl's body had fallen to the carpeted ground. No one could tell if she were alive or not, for there, hovering over her, was the same black swirling mass from Halloween. Kira had left her body, but he still radiated a fury and a terror that couldn't be ignored. It seemed as if blood and rain were contained within his masses as the black cloud of sand and grim pulsated. The grains of black sand, or ooze, or water, or whatever he was made of merged together, forming horrible faces and scenes. It was difficult to look away from the grotesque shape. Despite the clear horrors from hell that it contained within it, it was also somewhat mesmerizing. It hovered for only a moment, then taking advantage of everyone's stunned silence, suddenly and with incredible speed, he raced through the air like a bullet toward L.

L let out a cry of alarm. Jackie pulled the trigger on his gun. After a loud 'BANG' the bullet flew harmlessly through the mass and made the wooden wall behind it explode in a spray of splinters. Light had half a second to blink before trying to pull L out of the way, but Kira had moved entirely too fast. The demon smashed into the front of the metal suitcase which L had risen in front of his chest to protect himself.

The one hundred and fifteen pound man went flying. He was knocked backward, right out the door he had just entered.

"Lawliet!" He landed on his back, hard, on the cement front walk, almost directly at the feet of Quil who'd been waiting outside. The two's eyes met for only a moment before the black swirl came and smothered L a second time. L let out another cry, petrified at the idea of Kira entering his body again.

"L!" Suddenly, Quil had plunged himself into the mass, reaching out and grabbing onto L protectively. He threw himself over his body, covering his full head of black hair with his old, weathered hands.

"NO!" Quil demanded of the creature. "You won't have him! He's _good_!" But Kira certainly didn't care about an old man's feelings, or L's, or anyone else's. He swirled around the aged man's figure and underneath him. Knowing there was nothing they could do, L squeezed his eyes shut, waiting to be invaded all over again. But…the seconds ticked by, and he didn't feel the entry. Blinking, he dared reopen his eyes.

What he found was Kira furiously swirling around the metal suitcase containing the Death Note. L was lying on top of half of it and it was wedged underneath his body.

"He wants the Death Note!" Light cried as he ran out of the house and toward L and Quil. Jackie and James followed after him.

"Don't let him have it! Whatever you do!" James screamed. But Kira was frantic, and he was powerful, even outside of a body. He swirled around the edge of the exposed suitcase and he grabbed it. L immediately lashed out, grabbing onto the other end. Still being crushed by his guardian, he had no leverage to work with. After a brief struggle, the demonic figure ripped it out of his hands. The black mass took it and immediately began flying high, way up into the air.

"He's going to try and smash the case! Quil! Get off of me!" L squirmed, desperately. Quil obeyed and quickly clambered off of his charge. All five man stood, gazing up into the sky.

"It won't work," Quil said. "It'll take more than falling on concrete to open that case." And even as he said it the metal case was suddenly slammed down into the cement walkway. There was a huge crash and a splitting sound. The five men all jumped from the explosive noise all over again. But when they looked, they saw that the concrete had cracked, and not the case. Little bits of cement had been flung to the far reaches of the front yard.

Light was the one who acted first. Seeing the case briefly unattended, he dashed forward. He was like lightning as he grabbed the case, taking it up before Kira could race back down from the sky and after him. The cloud came barreling toward him and Light immediately took flight across the yard, not knowing what else to do other than keep the case away from their enemy.

"Shit! What do we do with this damned thing?" He screamed as he sprinted, cloud of death hot on his heels.

"I know Light! Bring it here!" James cried. He still had the Bible in hand, and the sudden idea seemed almost perfect. Of course. If they put the case right next to the Bible, Kira wouldn't be able to get near it. Light made a loop and started to head back toward James. Kira let out a horrendous shriek as he realized what was taking place. The demon, out of desperation found a burst of speed. The cloud wrapped around Light's ankle and with a quick yank, Light was flat on his face. He fell hard, his fine Japanese features smashing into an ill placed rock. A bloody nose began to immediately swell from the fall. Stunned, Light briefly couldn't move, his caramel eyes clouded from the shock.

The black storm grabbed the case a second time, but this time, it flew unexpectantly right back toward L. And this time, he did exactly what L had feared. The black cloud dropped the metal case at L's feet, and then blasted his way inside his victim, absorbing himself through his very skin.

It was like being hit by a locomotive. L's small frame was flung violently backward. His back smashed into the side of the house, just next to the doorway. He hadn't even the chance to collapse to the ground when the tearing agony from Halloween came through him all over again.

L's screams shattered the crystal clear mountain air. It bounced back through the surrounding trees and through the log cabin at their back. The suffering was instantaneous. L's body seized, his muscles becoming so ridged that they may have well been made of metal. Then finally, he collapsed to the ground. But even before Light could recover from his fall and arise to get to his partner, even before the even nearer group of other men could take a step toward him, Kira was done. He exited L's body as quickly as he had entered it. The black mass swirled out the way he'd come in, violently through his skin and chest, causing one last animalistic cry of torture to come from L's innermost being. But Kira didn't care. He floated to the case and taking advantage of everyone shock yet a second time, he immediately began unlocking it, punching in the codes.

Quil let out a gasp. They had not accounted for Kira possessing either L or himself in order to get the codes. But that was just what had been done. Kira hadn't been looking to hurt L…or perhaps that was just an added bonus, but the point of his attack was to scour the detective's brain for the combinations. And now…

The case snapped open. It had only taken a second. The cloud seemed overjoyed and in elation at what seemed like a victory. But L, who was lying only a few inches away, still on the ground, lashed out, and grabbed onto the evil note book. He closed his pale white fingers around the deep blackness of its cover and he brought it in close to himself. He pushed himself up into a sitting position. Skin covered in sweat, gasping wildly for air from his ordeals, he snapped his sharp black orbs to Kira's swirling form.

"I know this is where you came from!" He suddenly cried. "And I know you were trapped in it once! I can trap you in it again!" Kira swirled in front of him, unmoving. And he didn't answer. No one knew if he even could in that form. L reached out his free hand toward James and James knew exactly what he was asking for. James handed L the Bible. And even though L had no idea what to say or what passage he might need, he felt confident he could do it. Death Note in one hand and Bible in the other, he shouted,

"By the power of Christ! Go back where you belong!" The swirl hovered, seemed to resist for a second, then turned and flew directly into the Death Note. It took a few seconds, seeing as how large and ominous the mass actually was, but in only a short while, the tail end of his wisps disappeared into the blackness of the book. And then Kira was gone entirely.

L's hands trembled. Directly after it was over, he started to gasp for air, his breathing becoming more erratic. He simply wasn't getting enough oxygen. He felt he couldn't gulp enough air to sustain him. His chest felt like it were getting tighter and tighter. No matter how much air he took in, it wasn't filling him.

And as he sat, gripping one book in each hand, he suddenly started to feel ill. It washed over him like a wave of water. Already unable to breath from it, he also found himself feeling suddenly weak, queasy and horrendously dizzy. L hunched forward. Pressing his forehead firmly into the grass, the world spinning around him sickeningly. He let out a miserable groan.

"Lawli!" Light, finally having recovered from his head injury, ran over to his partner. Blood streaming out of his nose, he knelt beside him. He immediately reached out, wrapping one arm around his back and putting the other on his shoulder.

"It's just because he was inside you again, you're ok! You're ok!" Light cried. It was almost a plea rather than reassurance. It was indeed similar to what L had suffered so recently only a few nights earlier. L tried to reassure him, to tell him he was ok. But he wasn't. He still couldn't seem to get enough air. And then…his stomach suddenly clenched tightly, sending a stab of pain through his gut. His cheeks grew warm and started to tingle.

"Rai…Raito…I…I'm going to be sick…" It was all the warning Light had. Already hunched over, L's body gave off a wretched shudder, and then the cry he'd started was interrupted by a retch. His lunch came up and out and coated the browning grass in front of him. He felt the acidic burning sensation that followed every sickness. His throat grew raw almost immediately. The vile taste of what was once a tasty chicken burger was now reduced to bile. His body continued to tremble as the first wave of heat passed through him. But then, as soon as it was done, he heaved a second time. Tears sprang to his eyes from the misery of it, even as he expelled the last of the remnants of his stomach. His entire face was burning as his body desperately tried to rid itself of something it deemed to be poison.

Seeing L's hands trembling, books still clutched desperately in his grasp, Quil moved forward to try and help. Not wanting L to mess James's Bible, or the Death Note, he reached out.

"Here, L…let me help." Quil gently took the Bible away from him, letting it slip out of his pale clutching hands and into his own. L let out a sudden gasp. He sat back up, throwing his face up to the sky, his crow feathered hair, being flung backward as he started sucking in air desperately, filling his deprived lungs. He could breathe again. Quil took the Death Note away from him next. L released this book much more easily. Quil walked both books to the metal case as L seemed to suddenly recover. Light began rubbing small circles across L's shivering back as he breathed in the air with more ease. No one really understood why L had suddenly gotten so sick, but it was easy to write off or explain. Light was certain it was because he'd been possessed again. However briefly, the consequences had seemed the same. It had even lasted for a shorter amount of time than the last, surely, because he'd been possessed so briefly.

Quil however, was sure it had been from the stress of the entire situation. True, L had handled stressful situations in the past, but this was different. He'd never fought a demon before. And especially not one that was hell bent, literally, on taking away his one true love. Quil had seen how much Light meant to him. And he was sure L's entire world would fall apart if he lost Light to Kira again.

Besides, L had never been totally stable psychologically. The stress of it simply set him off.

But he seemed ok now. He was breathing regularly again. And despite having lost his lunch, he had finished gagging. Light held him tightly and supportively. L lifted his dark eyes, his expression falling to worry as he saw blood streaming from his loves face.

"Oh Raito…your nose…" Light smiled sorely.

"It's ok…" But L knew he was just saying that. They would have to check to see if it were broken or not. L hoped it was just bleeding and that it hadn't snapped. He knew how much Light appreciated his own looks. He'd be devastated. A broken nose never healed to look exactly as it had before.

Then L's thoughts drifted away from himself and his love and instead back toward the poor soul still inside the mountain cabin.

"Sheryl…" L said softly. James was already on it. When they turned to look, the man was no longer outside with him. Instead, they heard a soft, gentle voice coming from inside the house. There was another soft voice, this one higher and filled with confusion and fear. And after only a few seconds, the distinct sound of crying could be heard.

Knowing that Sheryl was alive, and that James was taking care of her, and carefully comforting her, filled L with relief. Kira hadn't taken another life. And despite what Sheryl had gone through, despite all the atrocities she now faced in her recovery, she _would_ recover. If they got her back to a hospital a doctor may be able to salvage what was left of her face. And L already knew…that he and Light wouldn't be pressing charges for his poisoning. Sheryl had just been another victim. And Kira, the real murderer, was now safely sealed away. He hadn't won. No one had died with exception of Greg Jersley. Kira had failed in his plans.

L turned his head just in time to see Quil snap the metal case shut once more, both the Death Note and the Bible inside. L let out a long sigh of relief. The Bible would keep Kira sealed away inside the notebook forever. He was sure. And having Light's hands gently caressing him and moving in slow comforting circles over his back only made him feel all the more at ease. He took in a deep breath of air, letting it fill ever pour. He held it for only a second, then let it out slowly through his nose. His shoulder's sagged, his eyelids fluttered closed with relief.

It was finally all over.

* * *

**Sources:** If anyone takes interest, I've decided to list the Bible verses I've used in this chapter. All of them are very good reading.

James Quotes the following:

**Matthew 16:23**

"Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."

**PSALM 91:1 and 2**

1 He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High  
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  
2 I will say of the LORD, "_He is_ my refuge and my fortress;  
My God, in Him I will trust."

James's last rebuke of Kira is not in the Bible. He was speaking from his heart.

**PSALM 91** Bits and phrases, not in order were used during his last utterances.

Clearly PSALM 91 is a favorite of mine. If anyone needs an easy way to look up these passages or doesn't own a Bible, you can go to .com (If that website doesn't post, here it is broken up: it's www. bible gate way . com there are no spaces.) I use the New Kings James version, but the new international version I believe is easiest to understand translation wise.

Also, I don't know if I stated it in the earlier chapters, so I'll put it up here:

**Matthew 8: 28-32** This is the entry about the demon possessed men. The one James told to Light and L in the kitchen a few chapters back about how Jesus sent the demons into a herd of pigs and then drowned in the water. Also a good read.

I've actually done a lot more research than what is listed above. I'll be listing all of my sources at the end of the fan fiction. Until then, keep reading!


	28. Crazed

Author's Note: Ok guys, I'm back from visiting my dad. He actually hasn't had the surgery yet. It's been delayed, because, get this: his doctor had some sort of emergency and is now in the same hospital as a patient. Irony. Seriously. In anycase, my dad seems to be doing well regardless. And despite work being as crazy at it is and me having hardly any free time, I'm feeling a bit better about my circumstances. So I don't want you guys to worry. Know that I'll always write. Hopefully things will get better. If not, oh well. I'll adapt as I have been and I'll always have my writing. In anycase, here's another chapter. Enjoy.

~Spotofpaint

* * *

It was decided that Quil would be taking the Death Note with him when he went back to Europe. The reason behind this was fairly simple, and no one argued. It seemed best to have the demon-possessed notebook locked away and far, far out of reach of either Light or L. It would rest for eternity, locked away in a vault with James's Bible beside it, keeping Kira forever stuck within the demonic notebook.

But for now, it would remain locked in the metal case, which Quil had already changed the combination to. And that locked case would in turn be kept within a fireproof safe which was also locked in the trunk of Quil's car. They had no reason to fear that Quil's car could ever be stolen or broken into; the thing, although normal and harmless looking from the outside, was in fact a tank. Inside its doors and siding, it had titanium metal plating. And its locks could only be opened with Quil's uniquely electronically coded key. There was no other like it, and even the most ingenious car thief could not duplicate another without the codes. As such, the book was put away and out of everyone's minds.

Poor James had to find himself a new Bible. He mourned its loss for a time. That Bible he had was very old, and had contained plenty of sentimental value. L and Light learned that it had been given to him by his mother when he had been just a child, and that his mother, had some way or another, died prematurely. James didn't offer details, but it was clear it had been a painful time in his life. L suspected either murder or disease. But regardless, James seemed very happy with his Bible's departure. After all, what more use could a Bible possibly be than to keep a demon locked away? James's Bible now protected the entire world. And he couldn't have felt his Bible could have been more honored.

With all the hoo-ha over with, and with plenty of time to think about how he'd reacted to L, Quil decided to stay and visit for at least a few days. He hadn't been fair to L when he first arrived, and Quil knew very well that he owed L a little bit of his time and company. It was the least he could do for having screwed up his entire childhood. He was still riddled with guilt about it. Especially after the entire Kira incident. When he saw that beast rearing down upon his charge…well…it had been instinctive for him to throw himself in its way to try and protect him. Quil supposed…That no matter how much he tried to hide it, no matter how much he tried to pretend, he must have really been a true parent to L. Only a parent would have such an urge as to throw themselves in front of death.

L, needless to say, was overjoyed. He immediately picked up where he'd left off before they jumped into the car to confront Kira. He grabbed Quil's hand and dragged him up the stairs to continue the tour with the second floor. He showed him every room, every closet, clearly very proud of the space he and Light were sharing together. Quil accepted his affections and excitement this time with much more grace than he had the first. Even though he still felt guilty and a bit envious that Light could make L so happy when Quil could not, Quil only opened his mouth to say positive things to his charge.

James and Jackie stayed for the rest of the day. But when night fell, everyone gathered to discuss whether they really even needed the secret services protection anymore. Sheryl was back in the hospital and she was being detained there so she couldn't run away again. She was also getting psychological help to encourage her to overcome the terrifying ordeals she'd gone through. True she would be regarded as crazy if she spoke about demons as her excuse of trying to kill L, but L knew that she would eventually be ok. She would learn to deny the entire story once she realized no one believed her, then she'd be deemed 'well' and released.

L thought he might visit her. She would need help and support to get through her recovery. Light didn't think it was such a great idea. But it was a discussion they'd have later. For now, it was decided that with Sheryl and Kira both gone, Jackie and James's services were no longer needed. They would head back to base for their debriefing, and to fill out mountains of paper work on the case they'd just completed. Regardless, L and Light had grown a liking toward them, and vice versa. The two promised to visit in their down time and in civilian clothing as friends once everything at the base was settled.

And so, once they were gone, it was down to only L, Light and Quil. The day passed and L eagerly made up the bed in the guest room for his guardian. He seemed pleased to do things that he used to think too mundane to bother with. Quil recalled needing to do almost any and all household chores for him because he couldn't be interested in them enough to take part. And of course, he was too busy with more important things, like figuring out whose blood was on that shirt and how a cordless computer mouse was used as a murder weapon. Now he glowed. He glowed like the full moon in the dark sky. There wasn't a hint left of the illness he suffered back on top of the mountain.

The three went to bed. All of them content. None could be happier. Smiles were on all three faces as they closed their eyes, turned out the lights and drifted into peaceful sleep.

Light had been dead asleep, the type of sleep when a person wouldn't wake if the world were ending. The type were he wouldn't have stirred had a meteorite fallen from the sky in a fiery blaze and crashed just outside the bedroom window. As such, he hadn't stirred when L started letting off small whimpers in the darkness. His eyelids hadn't even fluttered when L started twitching, his body jerking lightly from a dreaming struggle. Even when the twitches became more severe, turning into thrashes, he hadn't woken. Tears didn't wake him either. Neither did pleas for freedom. It wasn't until L started screaming that he woke.

The scream shattered the night. It was so loud, so filled with agony that it might as well have broken the window in the same way it broke Light's sleep. It was so violent, that Light sat up with an abrupt gasp of shock. His slanted eyes shot open, despite their clear sleeplessness. He stared bug-eyed out into the darkroom, having no idea what could create such an ear piercing noise in the dead of night. But even as he wasn't really awake yet, he felt the thrashing in the bed beside him. Light turned his head to find a sight of horror.

L's body was stiff and ridged, his muscles taught like ropes. His raven locks were a tangled, sweaty mess. Sticking to his face and the pillow were his tears which streamed out from underneath closed lids and down his cheeks. His mouth was wide open in a tremendous scream of what Light could only describe as complete anguish. Misery so fierce that his voice, which was already risen and strained to its very limit, broke like a twig, causing what sounded like two pitches at once.

Light stared in shock. L had nightmares before, yes. He had plenty. He'd been through enough to produce a life time of nightly terrors. But he'd never had one like this. His own screams should have woken him. Light was sure such screams were waking their closest neighbors who were three miles away. It was deafening. And it didn't make a lot of sense.

Overcoming his shock, Light immediately reached out, grabbing a hold of his spasming partner. He didn't bother trying to wake him gently; he simply shook him, hard, like he were a carton of orange juice.

"Lawliet! _Lawliet!!!_" Light had to scream to even be heard over L's vicious cry. But it seemed to work. L's body jerked crazily in Light's grasp once, and then with a terrible gasp, where he seemed to suck in air like a dying fish, his saucer-like eyes snapped open. They rolled in his head for a second and when Light saw it he was terrified that L was having a seizure. The whites of his eyes were terrifying. Light, having no idea what else to do, shook him again.

**"**_**Lawliet!"** _L's body finally stopped moving, and his eyes rolled back into their correct position. Dark, inky pools now visible, all Light saw in his partner was confused shock. L's eyes were larger than ever Light saw them before. They stared out at Light, quivering as if he were on LSD or speed.

"_My feet!"_ He suddenly _screamed._ "They're burning! They're _burning!_ The skin!"

Tears.

Big far tears of true physical pain dripped down his pink cheeks. He let out a horrific sob, his eyes squeezing shut as he turned his head away. He lifted a pale hand, covering his nose and mouth. He suddenly gagged.

"The smell of it!" Light stared in shock. He was awake now…wasn't he? Was he still dreaming? Just because L said so, Light looked to his feet. They were covered by blankets. Light grabbed at the sheets, tearing them off of his partner. Revealing the rest of his body, Light quickly examined L's feet. They looked like they always did: pale, the bottoms of them smooth as glass due to the scarring. L sobbed.

"It hurts! It's burning! Please! Ice!" Light had never heard him beg in such a way before. L was a mess. A true terrible mess. And Light didn't understand what was happening.

"Lawli…Lawli, anata, there's nothing there. Your feet are fine." L's pain-riddled face contorted with confusion. His gleaming, wrinkled eyes shifted briefly to Light's face. Even in his state he could see that Light truly believed that nothing was wrong with him. But the horrible burning sensation, the agonizing pain told him otherwise. He could smell it. The stench of burning flesh. He would never forget that smell, or the feel of layers of skin melting, burning, charring away. He let out another sob.

"Raito! Please! Ice!" He could barely speak through the agony of it. Light could see that L truly thought he was afflicted. He wasn't making this up. It couldn't have been the remnants of his nightmare, could it? Was he having a flashback then? He was flashing back to when Webber, when The Burner had scarred him in Australia. That had to have been it. Only a flashback could be this powerful.

Deciding he had to help in any way he could, no matter if it were real or not, Light went to scramble out of bed.

"O…ok Lawli! I'll go get ice. OK?" But the moment he turned to the bedroom doorway, he saw Quil already running in with a bag of the frozen water. He looked kind of funny in his long johns but Light had no time to be amused by it.

"Forgive me, I overheard. It was hard not to," he said. He thrust the bag of ice toward Light who immediately took it in hand. Still seated on the bed beside his partner, Quil now standing beside them both, Light took a hold of both of L's thin ankles. He gently pushed the ice into the bottom of his soles.

Immediately, L let out a cry of agony. Light flinched when he saw his lovers face, his head thrown back, his hair wild, his eyes wider than the full moon and his mouth agape. It was terrible. Light looked away. Even as L's initial cry died down, he did not turn back immediately. He couldn't. He couldn't see L that way. But eventually L's cry did die away and instead it was replaced with a hiss, and then finally a sigh of relief. His breathing was still erratic, his tears still dripped to the sheets and pillows, but his face slackened a bit and the pain he wore on it seemed at least for the moment, a little bit better. His sobs stopped, and now he cried the way he always did when he was truly hurt by something: silently. Light dared to look at him again. It was still hard to gaze upon his strained face, but it was bearable now. And he knew he'd have to face him if he were to talk to him.

Light lifted his head to look to Quil. The old man turned away from his charge and met Light's eyes. They both exchanged the same worried, serious look. Light knew then that Quil was going to help him explain to L that nothing was wrong with him. If both of them told him the same thing, it would carry more power, more weight. They waited a few more seconds for L's breathing to even out as much as possible. The ice seemed to be helping.

"Lawli…" Light said softly, gently. "There's nothing wrong with your feet." L winced briefly, sucking in air through his teeth.

"Tell that to my damned feet Raito! They're the ones arguing!" It was then that Light realized that even though L had not seen or touched his feet…he knew something was wrong. He had either believed Light from the start when he said it the first time, or he realized that he was awake and in his house. As such, the time frame didn't match up. He knew he'd been burnt many years before in the past, and that such an injury couldn't still be fresh and burning now in the present. Even through his agony, his brain still worked, as always. Light wasn't sure what to say after that.

"Then…if you know…then why the ice?" L grimaced.

"Because it feels like it burns! It don't care if it's real or not! It burns!" Light flinched briefly at L's indignant tones. He spoke to Light like he was stupid. But Light tried his best to brush it off. L was clearly under a lot of strain. People got snippy when they were in pain. But this revelation didn't help Light decide what to do about it. At a loss, Light glanced to Quil. Quil nodded then faced his charge.

"You're having a flashback. It'll fade with time. Hopefully soon. You told me once that the mind is a powerful thing. It can trick the body into being sick, or healthy, or broken. You were just having a terrible nightmare. This is probably residual effects from it. It'll go away."

"Yes," L breathed out, his eyes fluttering from the sensation in his feet. "I thought the same. Still…I…" he looked away from both Quil and Light. Light very easily recognized the look of both worry and shame on L's face. Quil not so much, because he'd never witnessed such an expression on him before. But Light knew what it meant. And he knew what L was thinking.

"Don't be scared Lawli…you're not crazy." L didn't move right away. He kept his gaze away and to a darkened corner.

"This is a bit different from hearing bells or trains Raito…" he said quietly. "I know when I hear those things…that they must not really be there…even if they seem real to me. But this…" he turned slowly, his inky pools full of concern. "Nothing like this has happened before. And I cannot ignore pain the way I can ignore bells off in the distance."

L's concern was warranted. And although Light wanted to be the first one to jump up and say with determination that nothing was wrong…L's serious face was arguing with him already. Something _was_ wrong. L's mind was convincing him that he was hurt. It wasn't normal. L recognized that. And he was brave enough to admit it before Light. Light still didn't want to admit it. Because if something was wrong…

"L," Quil said quietly. Both L and Light turned to look at him. "I thought about this yesterday, when we had our fight in the kitchen: I never took you to a doctor when you resided under my care. When I first adopted you I knew you needed one. For your behavioral problems, your eating disorder, and the trauma you went through. I…I never took you. I…I suppose I…" Quil's voice quivered, his old tones straining under emotional stress. He looked truly guilty as he cleared his throat and tried again.

"You've always been a little off-kilter. I accredited it to your genius. But you and I both know a person doesn't need to be disturbed to be a genius. I…suppose I was afraid of messing with the way you were wired together. I was afraid of losing your talents. I can never apologize enough. I wanted to take you again…when you were twelve…and those things with Webber happened. You didn't take it well. You probably don't even remember. You were out of commission for months…"

Light saw the look of surprise on L's face, and Light knew then that it was true. L didn't remember. He seemed to remember his traumatic ordeal just fine. But however long it took him to recover, and what he did during those few months was clearly a blank to him. He seemed shocked to discover that he was missing a large chunk of his memories.

"I should have taken you. You didn't speak…you…you didn't eat. You couldn't even stand or walk, or sit in your usual way because of your injuries. I put you on bed rest while you healed but…I…I never took you to a doctor. And I knew you needed one. I was afraid of including someone from the outside, from outside our organization. I was afraid they'd discover who you really were, that you'd be killed. I…I was a coward." L was staring at his guardian now with disbelief. He didn't remember any of that. He didn't remember resting. He didn't remember having fallen or having finally broken under the strain. He remembered his ordeal with Webber…then waking up the next day…magically healed, his feet scarred as they were now, and jumping right on into the next case. No…he did not remember bloody bandages, or weeks in bed, or refusing to eat. There was nothing like that in his memory banks.

"Quil," and L's voice was tight with confusion and betrayal. He didn't need to say anything else. Quil looked away, filled with remorse and shame.

"All of those things you went through…all of what you suffered…L, you never dealt with any of it. You've kept all those things inside, for all these years. You've put them away so you could continue to work, so you could go on functioning. Even if your functionality was warped a little bit…it was better than nothing. You could work. You buried it all…so you could do all the things I asked of you. I know you'd never admit it, at least not back then, but I knew you sacrificed a lot of yourself simply because you thought it would please me. You wanted to impress me…like any child wants to impress a parent. But I…I never even took the time to recognize that…"

Regrets that the old man had been hiding inside for what must have been most of L's entire lifetime were now coming out. He couldn't even face Light and L as he spoke. He continued to examine the dark shadows playing across the walls. "But now, L…now you have the time to deal with all of those things. You're in an environment where you can unlock all of those boxes. And you'll have to, or you won't recover. You're mind will take over, and it will over power you. You have to deal with these things."

L sat up abruptly, lifting his back up and off the pillows. His eyes were suddenly wide and full of lightning.

"I_ have_ dealt with those things! I have Raito now! I've told him everything! I've shown him all my weaknesses! I haven't hidden anything away from him! He's helped me through so much!"

"But Light is not a doctor," Quil said. He turned, and this time when he faced L, he faced him firmly, bravely. He needed to show both Light and L how serious this really was. "Light, L, you need professional help. I think this has happened now, tonight, because of everything that's just happened with Kira. It was just one strain too many on top of all the other ones you've already collected inside of you. That's why these types of symptoms are getting worse. L, if this is putting you through this much pain, then you must take action. Didn't Jackie and James say that the secret service has a psychologist on hand? In fact I know they do. I hired him myself. You should call him in the morning and ask him to come over. He can help you before this gets out of hand. I…I won't let you wait until it's too late."

L's wide eyes grimaced. He didn't like the order. He had never liked orders or demands. He did what he wanted. He was _free_ now. He no longer had to do what Quil said. He wasn't some dog to bark orders at. He clamped his teeth together. He looked truly insulted. He knew inside that it was ridiculous to be insulted about it. He himself understood how dangerous this could be if it wasn't taken care of right away. But still…he'd always had a sore spot for being called, or insinuated 'crazy.' That and an added demand sparked something. And he didn't like doctors. And he was terrified of insane asylums. Although he knew asylums were not in the equation, he couldn't help but to think of them. After all, what would happen to him if this strange situation wasn't fixed properly? Wouldn't they send him away, finally? Like how they'd been threatening for years?

His breathing picked up pace as his fear and humiliation mixed together and turned into a sudden burst of anger. L normally wasn't a very angry person. He felt the licks of angers flames very rarely in his life. He much more often grew sad or gloomy than angry when things didn't go his way. But this time, the thing that bloomed inside were the red hot coals of resentment. Before he was even able to stop himself, he blurted out words.

"You did this to me!" Both Light and Quil let out startled gasps. Light turned to find his usual calm, or at least understanding partner, wearing a face that was neither. Light had rarely seen him truly angry, but he seemed mad now. No…as he watched, he saw L's face contort into something close to fury. He was seething, his shoulders rising and falling, his teeth gnashing together in a snarl of rage. His eyes seemed to almost glow with indignation. They flashed dangerously.

"How _dare_ you! You did this! You did all of this to me! It's your fault! I wouldn't even have all these scars if it weren't for you! You were supposed to protect me! You adopted me! You were supposed to love me and take care of me! Not use me as some…some sick toy pawn! I _hate_ you! I hate what you've done to me! Look at me! This is all you Quil! You did this!"

Quil stood in shock. His wrinkled, old blue eyes wide. Light could see how much L was truly hurting the old man, even though his barbed words didn't appear to have fully sunken in yet. L was crushing him. Quickly and effectively, making each word count. And he was destroying him to the best of his ability. And he was doing it quite on purpose. L knew what he was doing. He understood the words that were flowing from his mouth. He'd held onto them his entire life, even if he sometimes felt them to be true. He held them in secret, because he knew he could never say them to Quil. He could never hurt Quil like that. He loved Quil. But now…now he seemed to have no control over the secret pains he'd hidden so carefully away. Now they poured from him like a water storm.

"The higher ups ordered me! They told me to be the bait, but you _let_ them! You never disagreed! You let Webber take me into that car! I never heard you object! It was the logical way to get him out of hiding right? Use me as _bait_! Well it fucking worked didn't it? You let him! You let him _take_ me! And then you and the others couldn't even keep your promise to stay close! You let him get away with me! What could I possibly do? With all my genius, how was I supposed to protect myself against someone so much bigger and stronger than me? You let him do it! You let him burn me! You would have let him rape me too! You asshole! I hate you! I'm crazy because of _you_! You fucked me up so good and so hard that I can't even tell the difference between what's in my head and what's in reality anymore! You made me this way!"

L was out of control. His cheeks flashing red from the fire inside, tears still streaming down his cheeks. The damage he was dealing was triple fold. Light saw Quil shrink away as if he were being beaten back, or riddled with bullets. He couldn't even speak, couldn't possibly defend himself. Because to him, it was all true. It was all the things he felt guilty of. Even if in reality, he had tried everything he could to find L. He had been desperate in his search. Panicked. He'd nearly had a stroke he'd been so afraid. Quil remembered the total fear and the loss. He'd never been so afraid in his entire life. Never before, and never since. Knowing your child was missing, knowing they were in danger, knowing they were with one of the most dangerous men in the entire continent you were visiting…Quil almost hadn't made it. He'd been so destroyed by it that someone else on the team had to take charge over him. He couldn't think straight. And it was only thanks to the swat team that they found L at all.

And even then…Quil remembered how they had burst into that abandoned warehouse. He remembered the team crashing through that basement door and finding L…lying on the concrete floor, his tiny, thin body, pale and naked. Blood was stained on his white skin. But worst of all…was the huge, burly man that was lying on top of him. Quil would never forget just how humungous Webber looked on top of his small, helpless, terrified child.

Quil knew that they'd been lucky to get there just in the nick of time. If they'd been even a second later…just one more second…L would have been…

"All I wanted was your attention!" L was still screaming. At the top of his lungs. His tears continued to fall. "We hardly even ever saw each other! Even when we worked on the same cases! You were always in the back ground or in another room! Or we were pretending not to know one another with our fake names and our disguises! Did you ever stop to think why I carried some of my bad habits so far? Did you ever wonder why I was so damned extreme? Did you ever stop to think that I was trying to get you to say something to me? Anything at all! You should have stopped me! You just…just stood there and watched as I destroyed myself! As I chewed straight through to the bones on my fingers! As I ate myself into a sugary grave! I stayed up all night while you slept in your bed, hoping every night that you'd wake up in the morning, see me still working there and say 'L, have you been up all night?' You never acknowledged any of it! The way I sat, nothing! I had no motivation to fix myself. In fact, you encouraged it! You've warped me into this…this _creature!"_

L was shrieking now. He'd clearly lost all control. Light had never, ever seen him lose all sensibility. It had been flung out the window the minute he'd started raving. He truly did look mad. Light had never thought L crazy before…but he looked like a nut job at the moment. Infuriated, and completely wrapped up in the flood he'd suddenly released, L suddenly went to rise from the bed. He looked like he were about to lunge himself at Quil. Letting out a gasp, Light reached out, grabbing onto his partner's arms with a death grip. He knew he couldn't let him go, no matter what.

"Lawliet! Stop it! You have to calm down!" And then, L's attention was suddenly on Light. And Light flinched when he saw his angry eyes focus all their rage on him instead.

"And why the _Hell_ should I stop now? Don't you have anything to say about all this Raito? Aren't you as furious as I am? Do you have any idea what he's done to me? What it was like? Always be the good child always be the best, the smartest, but never loved! _Never!_ No one wanted me! No one cared!"

And once L was facing him, it was incredibly easy for Light to see underneath all the rage. He saw quite clearly, that the source of all of L's fury was actually deep grief. Quil had been right. L had been holding this all inside for much too long. And Light could see how much it had actually damaged his love.

Not afraid of him in the slightest anymore, Light's face collapsed into sorrow. He reached out his arms, wrapping them around L's bony shoulders. He pulled him in close, even though L struggled at first, eager to continue his venting. But once he was snugly in Light's arms, L stopped fighting.

"Shhh…I know…I'm so sorry Lawli…" Light whispered softly, tenderly in his ear. Gently he lifted a hand, running it through his sweaty, tear soaked locks. "I was angry…when you first told me how you were raised. Remember how angry I was?" It was true. Light had fumed, for days about it. About the injustice of it all. "But I've had time to settle with it. And now that all of that is over, it won't do you any good to punish Quil now. It won't make you feel any better. You taught me that. Remember what you said to me about the Death Note? About how punishing criminals like that won't bring me peace?"

L suddenly started to tremble in Light's grasp, his face contorting dramatically. It transformed from fury, into the real source of it, which was pain. Light gripped him ever the more tightly.

"Of course I'm angry about what you've been through. But this isn't the way to handle it. I only look out for you, no one else. You know I wouldn't stop you if I thought it would help you. But it won't. You know it won't. And I know you're scared. I'll come with you to see that doctor. And don't you worry about being taken away. I'll never let anyone take you away from me. No one. Ever. I'll protect you. You're safe here. You're safe with me. No one will hurt you like that ever again."

And suddenly, the entire ordeal seemed to be ending the way it started: L's tears started to fall once more. He threw his arms around Light's back and squeezed him, desperately hard. Then he buried his face in his shoulders and let out a heart breaking sob.

Quil could take no more. Without a word, he turned away and left the room. He left his charge to cling to his lover in the way Quil knew L'd always wanted to cling to him as a child. He let him get the love and affection he needed from someone else. Quil recognized that he'd done far too much damage to ever get his relationship with L back to what it should have been originally. And now L got what he needed from another. Someone else who was actually capable of giving him what he desired. Quil simply couldn't. And it was a crushing blow. L's words had pierced him, horribly, painfully. Every beat of his heart felt like a wave of agony.

_You did this to me! You made me this way!_

Quil knew the things L said would replay in his mind over and over again. And he knew that despite his loss of emotional stability…L'd been right about most of what he'd said. Quil had been a major failure as a parent. He'd been a huge success as a teacher as the trainer he'd set out to be when he first adopted L, but to pretend now that he had ever been a parent was absurd. He was sure that was the reason L had gotten so very offended. Quil had no right to speak to him like he was his at all. He wasn't. Quil had given up that magnificent honor and all of the joys it would have brought both of them long ago. And there was no way to get something like that back once it was abandoned.


	29. Panic

Author's Note: Ok! I'm cranking these last few chapters out. I really would like to finish the fan fiction before 2010. I think it may actually be possible considering there isn't much left. In anycase, I'm thinking Jealousy will have its last chapter posted in early January. As I've told you all once before, I hoard a few chapters in reserve for emergencies. So don't think I'm rushing these chapters, I've just decided it was a good time to post up those reserves since I'm working on the second to last chapter now. After this chapter, there are about six left. Could end up being five or seven. We'll see. In anycase, I might end up posting the rest of them in one large chunk in January. I'm going to NY for Christmas soon, so I may not get a chance to post them until I get back on New Year's Day. Just wanted to let you all know what was going on. You'll have a lot more to read these next few weeks than in the past few months combined. I hope this makes you happy instead of frustrated. So, Merry Christmas and happy reading!

~Spotofpaint

* * *

The next morning was surreal. The winter winds blew. Not viciously, but harshly enough to cause a draft around the edges of every window and door. It found its way through every available crack and space. It wheedled its way in like any winter freeze worth its name. It rattled the panes of glass that weren't fit snugly enough in their wooden frames. It wasn't loud. But the gentle tapping of it was enough to stir Light awake. Light felt the cold as he awoke; the biting of the drafts brushing against his face chilled him awake. But what made the morning colder still was the lack of the usual warmth beside him. Light rolled over to find L wasn't in the bed where he belonged. On cold mornings like this, Light was used to waking up to the warm body of his partner beside him. Either he, or L, or both of them would curl up together in the middle of the night while they slept if it got cold enough. Only their partner's warmth would be enough to ward off lady winter. But this morning, L wasn't here. No wonder Light had been so cold.

Light didn't spend the usual time he did, yawning, stretching and waking up at his own leisurely pace. This time, he got right out of bed, swinging his legs over the side. He was worried. L's episode the night before hadn't seemed natural. L wasn't acting like himself, and Light wanted to stay near him at all times. He needed to make sure he was ok, and he knew that as his partner, it was just job to take care of him in any way he could. After a quick check, he saw that L wasn't in their bathroom. He stepped out into the upstairs hall.

The morning was quiet along with being so chill. The house had a muffled sound to it that only winter could bring. With exception of the sound of the wind outside and the gentle tapping of lady winter's nails on the window panes, it was silent. As such, it was easy to hear the padded footsteps downstairs in the living room. Light started down the stairs after the receding steps.

When he reached the bottom, he glanced around to find that L had already moved out of the room and into the kitchen. He could see his back in the doorway. He'd stopped moving and was simply standing there. At first Light couldn't figure out why, but then, just past L's elbow Light glanced a bit of Quil's face. He was seated at the kitchen table, newspaper in hand. Quil must have woken up first. It appeared as if he'd been seated at the table reading for some time. Perhaps, judging from the empty coffee mug, he hadn't slept at all.

L at least had clearly slept. In fact, he must have just gotten up. His hair was still a mess and he had that ragged look to him that he always owned when climbing out of bed first thing in the morning. That meant that whatever he had to say to Quil was urgent, for it was the first thing he thought of when he woke. L hadn't even bothered kissing Light before leaving the bed.

Quil already noticed L's entrance, despite its silence. With a quick ruffling of his newspaper, the old man lowered the business section to take a look at the young man who'd just padded in. For a few long, awkward seconds, it was quiet. The wind whistled by the corner of the house, moaning the displeasure of the situation softly.

"I'm sorry," L suddenly said. His tones were quiet. Light had at first had a hard time hearing what he'd said over the wind. Taking a few steps closer, Light poised himself near the fireplace so he could hear better. He knew he probably shouldn't have been eaves dropping, but…he couldn't help himself. He was worried. Especially with L and Quil speaking to one another in private. Light didn't want L to get upset again. He knew that if Quil said anything he didn't like, or if L looked like he were about to go out of control again, he'd be stepping in. Light couldn't leave him to himself.

Quil blinked his old wrinkled eyes at L in confusion.

"L? There's no need to apologize," Quil said. "I deserved every bit of the tongue lashing you dispensed on me last night. I fully accept everything you said."

"Not everything," L insisted. And Light didn't like his tones. L sounded…depressed. Almost heartbroken. It was then that Light noticed his chin was dropped and his hunch had increased in its size. His hands were shoved in his pockets, the same way he used to do back on the Kira case when he was feeling vulnerable.

"I don't hate you," he said. Quil put down his newspaper completely then, laying it flat on the table top. He kept his gaze fixed on L's face. "I don't hate you…I could never hate you…" L was almost whispering. It forced Light to move in a little closer. He took a careful step nearer the kitchen, his sock-clad feet thankfully very quiet against the living room carpet.

"I love you very much. If I didn't…none of the things I said last night would have mattered. If I didn't care for you…all those things that were said and done…our past…it wouldn't have made a difference. The reason I'm so upset is because I care about you very much. And although I'm still very angry…I wanted to make sure you knew that I didn't hate you. I only hate how you've treated me in the past. You…you're actually being quite kind in the present. I…can't think of much else more I would ask of you to do now that you're here." Light saw L's shoulders tremble, only once. Quil saw it too.

"Please don't leave. I want you to stay. Just a little longer." Quil sighed then, fully understanding what this was about. Of course L loved him. It was the same with any child and any parent. No matter how cruelly a child has been treated, the unconditional love they always hold for that parent remains. Every child wants their parents to love them, cherish them, give them attention. It's never outgrown, even if the now adult child would sometimes tell themselves that they no longer care. It's just a lie. They always care, and they always need acceptance. L could not help the feelings he held for his beloved Quil. And he recognized that. Quil knew he wanted to make it as right as they could considering their past.

Quil smiled kindly.

"I'm not going anywhere, L," he said. "I'll stay right here until you want me to leave, or until it's been a substantial amount of time. You say whatever you like to me." L seemed to relax a great deal then. Light saw his shoulders fall with relief.

"That's good. Thank you. I…haven't felt myself since yesterday. Maybe I just need to relax."

"I'm sure that's it. I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you, and interrupt your new life like this. It seems like you've got a nice thing going on here with Light." Light then saw L's chin lift back up and his hunch dissipated as he stood up taller. Light smiled to himself. A simple comment like that was all L'd been looking for.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door. All three party members jumped from the noise. No one had been expecting it. L turned around and immediately spotted Light standing right there in the middle of the living room. There had certainly been no time to hide or run. And besides, doing so would have made it all the worse. Light was caught red-handed and in plain sight. Caught off guard, Light glanced around the room nervously, as if wondering if L could be staring at anyone else. L's face fell to the stone cold look it always got when Light did something that vexed him.

"Having an early morning eaves drop Raito?" Light instinctively grinned, his charm coming to his face as it always did when he was I trouble.

"Who could be at the door at this hour? It's barely nine!" Completely ignoring the 'you're in deep trouble' face L was shooting him, Light scampered over to the front door. Glancing through the glass window at its top, he spotted much to his surprise, Katie and Byte. Not wanting to face L's wrath, he immediately opened the heavy wooden door, letting in a freezing burst of air. The wind rushed inside, invading the entire living room within seconds. It spread across the carpeted floor and crashed into L's bare feet. His clothes and hair ruffled backward as it rushed past him and into the kitchen, hitting Quil next. The older man shuddered in his slippers.

Winter always acted like it was in a war with warmth. And that one breath of ice cold air effectively robbed the entire first floor of the heat it had once retained. Katie and Byte stepped inside as quickly as they could, trying to get away from the bite of the real beast of it outside. Light closed the door behind them, locking it, as if this would more effectively keep out the cold than just closing the door.

"Brr! It's wicked out there! It's like the weather waited for Halloween and then just 'bam!' It flipped a hot switch and now it's Jack Frost all over!" As usual, Byte had something to say before anyone else. He and Katie, both shivering and shaking started to remove their heavy winter coats, hats, scarves and mittens. L and Quil both stepped into the living room to see what was going on and Light politely took their winter items, hanging them up on the coat rack by the door.

"Tell me about it!" Katie answered. "It seemed so warm a couple of weeks ago."

"No one's gunna come get ice cream from you now that it's so friggin' cold out. Geeze! Except Lawliet over there. Haha! Nothing will keep that guy out of your shop. Except maybe whatever's been keeping him out of it the past few days. Hm? And why is that? Huh? What's up with that?" Katie suddenly threw her hand haphazardly backward, lopping Byte in his chest. It was a playful hit, but hard enough to shut Byte up for once.

"Darius, that's not how you bring up a conversation." Byte let out an 'oof' and started rubbing his chest lightly, a play expression of hurt on his features. But before anything else could be said, Light's face completely lit up and he took a step forward toward the two, his eyes shimmering with intrigue at the new information he was just fed.

"Darius?" he asked with utter thrill in his tones. "That's you're real name? Darius?" Byte's entire face immediately filled up with a brilliant shade of scarlet.

"What's it to you, _Light_? You're named _Light._ Come on! You can't have a weirder name than that, except maybe Lawliet. Geeze! Ok? So I like, fit right in. Yeah? The only one here with a normal name is Katie. And maybe that old geezer over there. Hey old guy! What's your name?" Katie smacked him again. This time much, much harder than before.

"Oww! What'd I do this time?" Katie turned to Quil and immediately looked apologetic.

"Please excuse Darius. He lives inside on the computer all day and so he has no sense of what manners are." Quil's only response was a merry little chuckle. Young people were just so much fun.

"Ah, well speaking of manners, where are mine? Please, come out of that drafty foyer, sit down," Light offered. "I'll get a fire going to try and get the chill out of the air."

"God Light! You're always so proper! Like a butler. Don't you think he'd make a great butler Katie." Katie started over toward the couch, her nose lifting into the air.

"So rude. You're so rude."

"What now?" Byte clambered haphazardly after her, and in another few moments the two were seated comfortably on the couch. Quil, L and Light all didn't need to say anything. All three had already seen that Byte and Katie had gotten together. Most likely during the Halloween party. Because it was so obvious, no one said a word about it.

Light stepped up to the fire and Quil headed toward the couch to sit down with the kids. L however stood just in place, looking somewhat torn about where he wanted to be located. So he didn't move at all.

"Lawli, why don't you introduce Quil?" Light suggested. L froze up immediately at the sound of Quil's real name. Was it ok to give it to Byte and Katie? They were just kids. What if someone came after them, knowing Quil had been here? L didn't want to drag them into anything. But of course, it was too late to give a fake name now. Light had already blown that option. L glowered, sending yet another death look Light's way. But Light didn't even notice. He was busy, bent over the fire, trying to light it up.

Stuck, L stepped up to the couches, but still didn't sit. He stood beside the one nearest the fire.

"Quil, these are our close friends, Katie and Byte. They may both be very young, but we get along with them best out of everyone in town." Katie and Byte both sat up tall, beaming at Quil with pride. Quil couldn't help but to chuckle again. "It seems they've recently become a couple, so we'll be seeing them together rather than separately from now on."

"Whoa! How'd you know we're dating now? That's awesome! Lawliet, you've always been a really astute guy! Really! Totally cool. Yeah, we're going out now."

"I'm not letting you have any more coffee in the morning."

"Aw! Katie! I'm not _that_ bad!"

"Yes, yes you are."

"No 'm not!" L cleared his throat, a bit of annoyance making itself heard. Normally, he'd love Katie and Byte's crazy display. They were so charming together, and not to mention amusing. Who couldn't love their banter? But for some reason, he still wasn't feeling quite himself as he'd just told Quil a few moments ago. He found himself growing easily irritated. Wanting to finish what he'd been saying, and having the two interrupt like that and completely lose interest in what he was portraying really pushed on a nerve. But clearing his throat seemed to do the trick and Katie and Byte paid attention once more.

"Katie and Byte, this is Quil, my guardian from childhood." L had introduced Quil casually, but all the same both teenagers put on looks of awe. They seemed utterly fascinated by the appearance of L's guardian. A man neither Light nor L had ever spoken to them about. In fact, L had never spoken about his adoptive parents at all.

"Oh wow! So you're Lawliet's dad?" Katie cried. The word 'dad' struck a sour chord, and L flinched at it.

"That's awesome! I mean, we knew he was adopted and all, but he never mentioned you at all. We didn't even know your name until today."

"So you're the guy who taught him how to be so smart, yeah?" L twitched a second time. Quil hadn't 'taught him to be smart,' he had been born with raw talent. All Quil did was ensnare it for his own uses. Having Katie and Byte fawn over Quil so much was only making his irritation grow. Quil smiled, clearly happy with the attention. As if he deserved any praise.

"Oh I didn't do much. L…uh…Lawliet, has always been naturally brilliant." L shot Quil the same look of death he'd just given Light. He couldn't believe Quil just mentioned 'L' so casually in front of people who were only meant to know him as 'Lawliet.' L understood that it was a casual situation and that Quil's real name was not being used because of Light's mishap, but did they need to screw it up any further? Quil glanced L's way, smiled, and then shrugged. _Shrugged_. As if it didn't matter.

But it did matter. A great deal. If these kids somehow put together who he truly was, then his and Light's way of life would be over. They would lose the house, the town, all of their friends, and they could even lose their lives. They couldn't afford to get too comfortable, just because they'd been settled down for a few years now. Quil should have known that more than anyone. He set up the secret service using his own personal money for the very reason of recognizing that L and Light would _never_ be fully safe. After all, Webber had found them back in Atlanta, and they had just dealt with Kira now in the present.

So what made him think it was ok to just shrug something this important off? He didn't have a right. He didn't have a right to screw up the life he and Light had worked so hard to build. They had suffered for this new life.

"So you're like, really old!" Katie smacked Byte again. L had lost count of how many times.

"Darius!"

"What! It's true! He's old! I expected like…a cute middle aged couple. Speaking of which, where's Lawliet's mom?" L grimaced all over again at the word 'mom' just as he had at 'dad.' He didn't like the terms at all.

"Oh, I never married," Quil said.

"Really? You raised Lawliet all by yourself? And at your age?" Katie asked, her eyes sparkling. Quil nodded and L instantly felt somewhat ill. Quil was nodding with a smile on his face. As if he were proud of some achievement he'd made. _You didn't raise me by yourself. In fact, you were hardly there to raise me at all! I raised myself you old liar!_ L felt the muscles in his face slowly start to tighten. It wasn't right for Quil to steal any sort of parental honor away for himself. He hadn't earned it.

Thankfully, by that time the fire was lit and Light came over in force with the warmth the fire was creating. It washed over the cold, sock and slipper clad feet and up and over the couch. Light sat down between Katie and Quil where there was still plenty of room left for L. Clearly, they wanted him to sit down there beside Light. Light glanced at his partner, smiled welcomingly, then patted the cushion beside him lightly.

L glowered briefly, not liking the idea of being beckoned like some sort of cat or dog, but he complied, simply out of the essence of not wanting someone to have to call him out on it and ask him to sit verbally. He stepped up onto the cushions, then curled up beside Light, pulling his knees up tightly to his chest.

Light immediately noted that L was oddly a good few inches away from both Light and Quil. He clearly wasn't in the mood to cuddle as he usually was. Normally, he and Light would be leaning on one another, or at least close enough so that their sides touched. But this time, it seemed as if L wanted to be left entirely alone. Light frowned, but knew he couldn't say anything in front of the others. So he turned to look at Katie and Byte.

"So, why are you guys here anyway? It's kind of early for a visit."

"Well yeah," Katie answered, waving a hand in front of Byte's face to keep him from speaking. His mouth which had been opened and ready to make noise instantly closed in dismay. "But we've been so worried about you two. The Halloween party…no one seems to really know what happened. We heard that Lawliet had gone into the back hallway and got really sick. Like he fainted or something. And then Colleen said that Greg Jersley had actually attacked him! We haven't seen Greg. The Jersley's are really upset. Something about an accident. Some people are even saying that Greg's dead, that Lawliet killed him in self defense." Katie and Byte looked truly concerned, their young faces curious, but also confused. "We thought it would be best to get the real story from you guys. Then maybe we could go back to town and set people straight."

Clearly, the small town had been weaving their own tales to account for the strange happening at the Halloween party. All Light could think was thank God James and Jackie had been there to take care of it. He was sure they were working on an official story right now even as they spoke. The secret service was good at staying on top of things like this.

Light, although he didn't yet know what the secret service would say officially, had a good idea to which story would make the most sense. After all, Greg Jersley's involvement made it simple. They had to include him in the story.

"Yeah…I got out of jail just in time. Greg was involved. He attacked Lawli. It was a hate crime. You know how crazy the Jersley's are about gay couples. But I got to the party just as it was happening. And I made it back into the hallway to stop it before Lawliet got really hurt."

"Oh my God." Katie put a hand to her mouth in shock. L, on the other hand, was not looking happy. _Way to make yourself out to be the hero, Light. Way to make me sound like a helpless pansy. Thanks. That's completely what I wanted to be circulated throughout the town._ L glowered, his dark gaze lowering to the floor. He felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden. He didn't fully understand why he was getting so upset about things. They would have had to use a story like that. They would need to explain Greg's death. But all the same, he felt the same flames of anger from the night before rising inside of him. And that in itself was frightening to him. _I'm hardly ever angry._ He didn't understand why he was now, at something so casual. It had been building all morning. Almost immediately once he realized it, he instead became afraid. It was easier to be afraid of his anger than to embrace it.

_What's going on?_

L didn't understand what was wrong with him or what was happening to him. He was afraid of the sudden and violent swing his emotions had taken. Maybe if it had been something more gradual he could have explained it away, but having something so sudden come up like this, well, he just couldn't find a reasonable explanation. How could he suddenly grow so angry at such stupid things? He never had before.

All he could conclude was that something inside his head must have jarred loose last night when he had that flashback. The physical sensation in his feet…the flair of rage he had toward Quil, and now it seemed as if it were mounting yet again.

_I must be losing my mind. My stability…it's the only explanation. _And that thought was horrifying.

"Lawliet, are you ok?" This question came from Byte. And when L looked over, suddenly pulled out of his thoughts, he realized that Byte wasn't asking because he'd seen something was wrong, he was asking because of what Light had just said about him being attacked at the party. Byte's expression made that clear.

"Uh..umm…yes. I'm ok," he answered sloppily. Light glanced over, his expression changing once he heard L's stutter. Unlike Byte and Katie, he immediately picked up on L's mood. Something was bothering him. He looked nervous, almost scared. But Light couldn't say anything in front of the guests. He didn't want to embarrass L or talk about something private in front of their friends.

"Geeze, that must've been terrifying. I can't imagine someone attacking me for dating Darius. It sounds awful," Katie sympathized.

"And on your birthday too! Geeze man, I'm sorry." L didn't answer, and in fact, he looked away from the two. He lifted one pale palm and rested his chin inside of it as he stared at the back of the other sofa. Light's brow wrinkled. L was still acting fishy. Clearly something was bothering him. He seemed to only be getting worse. Wanting to help, but unable to talk about it just yet, Light did what he always did; he got closer.

Light scooted over the few inches L had originally put between them, closing the gap until their legs touched as usual. L's head immediately snapped around so that he was facing Light with an expression of surprise, as if he had not expected the contact. Light didn't like the look he wore.

"Lawli," Noticing now that something funny was up with L; Katie, Byte and Quil glanced over. L immediately felt the increased pressure of three extra pairs of eyes. He felt suddenly exposed and uncomfortable. As if he expected them all to make fun of him, or hurt him in some way. He knew it was ludicrous, and yet…he felt suddenly so vulnerable. He curled his arms around his knees, latching his pale fingers together once they met on the other side. But this wasn't good enough. Instinctively, and without thinking about it a bit at all, L lifted a hand. It went straight to his mouth where his index finger slipped in between his teeth. He bit down.

Light grabbed his wrist so fast and so suddenly that L let out a gasp of shock. The physical contact felt so raw and so alarming and L could not help but to flinch as if he'd been struck. Light saw the flinch immediately, but this didn't stop him from pulling L's hand away from his teeth. Light's expression was sharp.

"Lawliet! What're you doing?" L began to tremble. He froze, unmoving as he focused on the tight grip Light had on his wrist. It didn't hurt. Light wasn't harming him. In fact, he was trying to keep L from harming his fingers. But all the same…Light's fierce grip terrified him.

_He's going to hit me._ The thought was startling. Where had it come from? Light would never hit him. He knew he wouldn't. Light loved him. More than anything. That was why he was angry now, because L had promised never to bite his fingers again. That's why he looked so frightening. Not because he was going to hurt him.

All the same…L began to tremble in Light's grasp as if he expected awful things to befall him. He couldn't control the sudden wave of fear he felt. No matter what he told himself, he was afraid. It didn't matter how much he knew Light wouldn't hurt him, he still suddenly felt like he would.

_He's squeezing me._ L thought as he stared at the strong grip Light had on his wrist. _He's holding me in place. So I can't escape._ L's breathing hitched, then immediately picked up speed. Panic swelled up inside of his chest like bile, the pressure of it rising and invading his skull. _No! He loves me! He's trying to keep me from hurting myself. He wouldn't…_

_He would._

_No!_

_He would! Look at his face! He's so angry! Just like everyone else who's ever hurt me. They all wore the same face! That face! Before biting me or burning me or pulling out my hair! That's what they all looked like. He'll hit me! He'll hit me!_

"Lawliet!" Light's voice had come loudly and it was demanding. And as he yelled the hand that held L's wrist jerked ever so slightly to the right. It was just enough to make L think he was striking. L let out a sudden cry of alarm. His eyes squeezed shut as he flinched horridly. And then, without warning, he lifted his other hand and struck Light harshly in the face. It had been a true, brutal hit. One that a person used when they truly wanted to be let free, one that was used when a person felt in danger. L's pale knuckles dug in deeply to Light's fair skin and Light's head snapped to the right like a rubber band. Everyone in the room let out a gasp of shock.

L, of course, was released, Light letting him go from the blow. His wrist free, and wasting no time at all, L leapt up from the couch and ran to the front door, his frightened shadow leaping across the firelight. Light, face still throbbing, hand to his cheek, sat back up in fear.

"Lawliet! Don't leave!" He begged, but it was too late. L had already flung open the door in haste and had run out into the freezing morning air with no jacket, no gloves or hat or scarf, and also with no shoes to speak of.

"Lawliet!" No one in the room understood what had happened. All they'd seen was L chewing on a finger and Light casually stopping him just the way he always had back when L had first been breaking the habit. Both Katie and Byte had seen the same action countless times. Usually L responded with a reproachful look and then a sarcastic comeback. Or at least he would deny that he was going to bite his nails at all, even when he knew Light knew better. Light had used a firm warning tone and that was all. No one saw any reason for L to have brutally punched the man he cherished so dearly in his face. And no one understood his reaction.

Still confused and still in shock, Light immediately leapt to his feet. Looking frantic, he took just a second to turn to Katie and Byte.

"I'm sorry, he…he hasn't been himself since the party. Forgive me. You should probably go home. I'll go find him." And without waiting for a response, cheek already visibly starting to bruise, he ran for his coat near the door.

"Light wait!" But Light wasn't going to wait for anything. Only one arm in its correct sleeve, Light flung open the heavy oak door and disappeared out into the cold after his wayward love.


	30. Bells

Author's Note: Alright, I'm working hard and fast. Here's the next chapter, and only a few left to go. Enjoy, and happy New Year everyone! May 2010 bring us all tidings of great joy.

~Spotofpaint

* * *

L was fast. Much faster than Light would have thought. L hardly could have been described as athletic. He sat inside in front of a computer screen for most of his life. And even now, in most recent years, his daily exercise was usually a brisk walk into town for groceries or to visit Katie's ice-cream shop. Light hardly ever saw him run. But now he was like the wind. The same wind blowing in his face that was holding Light back from catching up also seemed to somehow be powering L. Light didn't know how he was doing it. All he could think of was that a burst of adrenalin was all that was giving him the power he needed. He was like lightning. And Light knew it must have been because he was scared. The only other time he'd seen him run like this…was when Webber was on his heels in Atlanta.

This thought alone gave Light more courage. He forced his legs to work harder. He wouldn't let L get away with thinking something like that. Light was not Webber. He was his partner. And he was going to catch him before he got hurt.

Both men were still in their pajamas. L was in nothing other than a plain white tee-shirt and blue boxer shorts. Light at least had a winter ensemble on of matching cotton pajamas, and had the sense to grab his jacket before running out the door. He hadn't had time to put on shoes, just like L, but he at least had slippers on. The streets were thankfully dry from the beautiful day they had just before. But it was still frigid cold out and Light was very worried not only for L's sudden state of mind, but also his health.

But the problem here was that L had gotten a good head start. And once Light started to give chase, he was already halfway down the country road and headed toward town. Once L reached the outskirts and turned behind a building, Light had lost him completely.

Light turned the same corner, and once he did, he lost sight of the tuft of black hair in the distance that he'd been chasing. He slowed down to a jog, and then finally stopped entirely. Breathing heavily, his lungs and throat burning from the raw, cold, air, he leaned over and rested the palms of his hands on his knees. There he stayed, gasping for a bit, hot steam rising up out of his open mouth and wafting up into the winter air in little clouds of smoke.

"Lawli, you idiot…" he whispered. His own voice frightened him. His tones had wavered and he sounded terrified and pathetic. Much more so than he thought he felt until he heard himself speak. Trying to keep himself under control, he slowly stood back up. He glanced around the empty streets of town. It was too cold for anyone to be out unless they had too. And it was too early for a lot of the townspeople to be running errands. As such, the gray, depressing winter day was void of all life.

Light tried to think of where L would go in an empty town. Most of the stores weren't even open yet. They wouldn't open until ten. So where would he run? Was he aware of how cold it was yet? Wouldn't he try to get inside? Or was he too afraid to even think of that? Light was afraid he was running wild and blind.

Light's breathing had lessened in its severity, but light puffs of breath still trickled out of his nose every time he exhaled. _Lawli…_ He tried to think like him. L was clearly afraid. Light thought he had seen that look on his face before. When he had nightmares, or _re_-_encountered_ a past event for Light so he could understand what he'd been through. L had been…threatened somehow. Light wasn't sure how he had perceived Light as a threat, but he knew that some way or another, L had. That was all that mattered. If he was scared and alone and feeling hunted, where would he go?

It was then that Light suddenly heard bells. He recognized it instantly as the nearby church. They rang their bells every hour. As such, they were chiming nine times to mark nine in the morning. They were loud and clear in the still silent air. It shattered lady winters grasp on the little town with hardly any effort at all. It travelled through the cold as if it were silly to think the weather an obstacle.

Light knew immediately where L would be. L would head toward those bells. He would head for the church steeple as if it were a home for him to return to. And maybe it was. For him, it would remind him of the second orphanage where he'd spent years of his life. It would remind him of Whammy's House. Light immediately turned left and down Church Street. Walking calmly now, for there was no doubt in his mind where he would find L, he saw the tall white building come into view.

The church was very old. It had been built along with the other original buildings when the town was first erected hundreds of years ago. It was even made from the original stone that had been used to build all the other buildings. The only things new on it were the wooden parts, including the steeple. Even the original stained glass windows were the same. Decorated in vibrant colors of blues, reds and greens, they managed to catch what little light there was even in the cold darkness of winter. The building seemed to glow softly from inside as Light neared.

And there, just as he predicted, sitting huddled and curled like a small child on the front steps, was his Lawli. He sat on the top step, curled back propped up against the heavy wooden double doors. He was hugging his knees tightly, his head bowed, face hidden so deeply in his exposed legs that only his hair was visible. Its raven locks were being tossed back and forth casually in the winds grasp. Lady winter caressed the shivering figure gently, as if she were going to cradle him to death instead of viciously smother him or whisk him away like most of her victims. Light supposed she'd have the time to gently expose of him since he was locked out of all the buildings. But of course, with Light now arrived, he wouldn't let that happen.

The church bells eighth chime sounded, and as Light took the last step over to the bottom of the church, it's ninth. The last bell tolled, ringing clearly and expressedly into the little town's sky. The after ring resonated through the cold for several long seconds, and then it resonated within Light's ears for even longer until he was sure it wasn't actually ringing any longer, that it must have been his imagination. All the same, he placed his slipper on the next step. He worked his way up slowly and quietly until he reached the landing. Once there, he carefully sat down beside his partner.

Both were quiet for the longest time, listening only to the winter's words and each other's thoughts. The church still glowed at their backs. And as Light saw the colored reflections on the steps at his feet, he realized that it hadn't been his imagination; the church really was glowing. The light flickered, and he knew it was because many candles must have been lit inside. It made it seem warmer, even out on stone steps.

Knowing they couldn't stay silent forever, and knowing L knew he was there, even if he never lifted his head from his shriveled state, Light slowly started to reach out a hand.

"Lawli…"

"Don't!" The cry had been so sharp and so sudden that Light snatched his hand back and away with alarm. L had shrunken back and away from him, somehow without uncurling or really moving from his spot. Light's face contorted. Slowly, L lifted his head. Light was shocked to see tears streaming down his cheeks. L peered at his partner over the backs of his arms, still curled around his bare knees. His entire form trembled from the cold, his inky pools reflecting not a bit of the colored light the church was giving off even though it bathed his back in yellow light.

"Don't come near Raito! I…I'm dangerous!" Light blinked, at first confused by his statement. Probably because Light had never thought of L as dangerous. At least not for many years. But then he remembered that L had punched him. He carefully lifted his hand to his face, his fingers brushing against the cheek L had marred. It stung. It stung viciously. Light knew he must have already been bruising, for even out in the cold it was throbbing terribly. Still, as L's partner, he knew what to say.

"You're not dangerous," he said, even if he wasn't sure it was true. L gazed at Light with both disbelief and sorrow.

"I hit you," he stated plainly. Tears overflowed his inky eyes, travelling down his cheeks in sad rivers. The tears, unlike L's eyes, did reflect the church's colorful glow. They seemed to glow themselves as they fell and shattered on the stone steps. "I hit you, and I hurt you. And I…I…I don't understand what's happening to me. Something's…_wrong_ with me Raito." Light knew L was right. The revelation was hard to admit. But he did what he had to with it and shoved his own feelings to the side, just for the time being. He had to be clear headed. He had to take care of L. L needed him to be the stable one, at least for now. Light would let it hurt later.

Light carefully slid across the top step, scooting just a tad closer to L. He saw him shivering, and it was getting worse. Light noted the purple coloring in L's lips. Carefully, Light shrugged off his jacket, taking care not to make any sudden movements. Even despite his careful approach, L flinched when he held the jacket out to him.

"Here," Light said. "You're freezing. At least I have pants and slippers on. Take it." L stared, eyes wide. For a few seconds he didn't move, but then he reached out a slow, shaky, white hand. He curled his thin fingers around its hem cautiously. When Light was sure he had a good grip on it, he released it. Its sudden movement startled L, who dropped it. But then he immediately snatched it back up and pulled it in toward him as if he were afraid Light would take it away from him. Hr brought it in close to his chest, hugging it for a moment instead of putting it on, as if he could keep it longer, or make it his with such an action. But then the chill in his body won out, and he slung it around his shoulders. Because he was curled so tightly and because Light was slightly larger than him, it covered almost his entire form. Light watched him huddle beneath it and waited for him to stabilize.

"Lawli," he started again. "Come home. We'll get you something warm to eat, and then we'll call the doctor from secret services. Ok? James and Jackie will know which doctor is the best to bring." L was silent for a time. He didn't even look Light's way as he rested his chin on top of his knees and arms. His shivering lessened, but of course…now Light was cold. He wrapped his arms around himself, rubbing his upper arms as lady winter moved away from L and toward Light instead. Light ignored her, and kept his attention on L.

"I'm…finally losing my mind…aren't I?" L said it quietly, but firmly, delivering the question like the awful truth it really was. Light didn't respond. It was the best answer he could give. It was the kindest reply. L knew what the silence meant. It meant Light agreed. But he didn't have to hear the words out of his lover's mouth. L let out a snort.

"Should've known I couldn't function this way forever. I was so busy fixing everyone else…fixing the entire world that I never…I never bothered to fix myself." More silence. Lady winter kissed both men gently, but the church's glow did the same, shooing her away somewhat politely. The colors from Mary on the window behind them fell, half of it across L's face, leaving the other half dark. L lifted his chin slightly, to gaze out sadly at the town around him.

"I feel a little better, sitting here. I was sure I'd already lost it while I was running. I was so afraid. Like…like it had taken over. I wasn't even in control. But…once I heard the bells, I…I just…knew where to go. I felt better…once I sat down here. The bells…were so clear."

Light listened silently. There really wasn't anything he could say to L. And there was nothing he could do for him. Other than get him home and call a doctor right away. Other than that, all Light could do for him, was be near, and listen.

L turned his head, finally gazing at Light with eyes he recognized. This time, Light could see the firelight in his dark orbs. L's face crumpled like an old newspaper as he rested his sight on his cheek.

"Oh…it's bruising." L lifted a hand, the loose jacket falling away from his bare arm. He acted as if he were going to reach out and touch Light's cheek. But he stopped mid-way, his fingers letting off a small tremble. He seemed afraid to make the contact.

Light carefully lifted his own hand, very slowly, to show L that he meant to take L's in his own. L hesitated, looking like he was going to pull back. But he didn't. Light stopped his hand, letting it hover just in front of L's for a few seconds, giving him the chance to take it away. But when L didn't move, Light gently closed his finger's around L's. He took his cold hand in his, lovingly giving it a tender squeeze.

"I'll take care of you Lawli," he said. "You're my anata. It doesn't matter what you go through. I'll be here. Ok?" L's eyes started to shine as a smile graced his lips. Even through the fear and the tears, Light could see how happy that made him. He nodded quickly.

"Ok." Light smiled, then lifted L's hand and kissed his fingers.

"Come on. Let's get you home." Light stood up. And L, seemingly feeling much better, stood up as well. Holding hands, and both of them smiling softly they took the first step down off of the stoop of the church. As their feet, one set bare, the other in slippers, started to descend the staircase; a few soft flecks of white began to flutter down from the sky. They lazily and silently flittered to and fro, none content with making a straight line down to the ground. And the number of them increased with every step the couple took. Then they took their last step down and made it to street level. They began walking away, the colored glow of the church leaving their bodies.

The snow began to grow thicker, and it was somewhat peaceful as the wind seemed to have died down entirely. Now it was as silent as a tomb. But of course, having L step on something so cold didn't help his situation. He started to shiver again, even with the aid of Light's jacket around his boney shoulders. Light came in closer, gently wrapping an arm around L's shivering form.

"We'll get you in front of the fire."

But L didn't respond. And in fact, he seemed to be slowing down. His eager and happy pace, which he had just a moment ago, was becoming suddenly sluggish and stiff. He let go of Light's hand and used both of his palms to pull Light's jacket in around himself more tightly. His entire body shook.

"I'm so cold…" L's breath became more visible in the snow around them. It came in thicker clouds every time he exhaled. Light rubbed his upper arms a little more vigorously, trying to get some heat back into him.

"I know Lawli. You're practically naked out here. You'll be fine once we get home." But L didn't look fine. His face was paling. It was paling fast. And right before Light's eyes, he was suddenly as white as the snow that fell down around them. His dark eyes looked suddenly tired and sunken, the way they used to back when Light had first met him. The life he had in him just a few seconds ago seemed to be disappearing.

"Raito…I don't feel good…" He stopped walking entirely then, and stumbled. Light grabbed him, catching him before he fell.

"Lawliet, what's the matter?" Trying to hide his emotions wasn't going to work now. Fear pricked Light's heart. What the hell was going on? Was Lawliet sick? Physically as well as mentally? L swayed in Light's arms, the glow in his eyes vanishing as it had in his skin. Now his eyes seemed as dull and as dead as a corpse. He lifted his head suddenly and stared up into the sky, gazing at the snow that was fluttering down all around them. His voice came softly, and like that of a ghost.

"Ashes ashes we all fall down…" Light increased his grip on L, horrified that he was losing his mind right here and now. There wasn't even time to get back to the house. But Light didn't have his cell phone on him and all the shops around him were still closed. He couldn't think of what to do other than to try and get L moving again. He had to get him inside, he had to get him warm. He had to call Jackie and James. His heart pounding, he spoke.

"Lawliet…let's keep going, ok? We're almost there."

"I don't want to keep going any more…" he whispered. "Haven't I done enough? Let me rest…" Light knew that L was already gone. Wherever he was, it wasn't the present. His eyes were clouded, reflecting only the gray of the sky around them and the white flittering flakes. But even the snow didn't seem real in such a glassy gaze. L went to sit down. Light grabbed him under his arms and forced him to remain standing. His panic bloomed like a hot pink rose.

"No no Lawliet! Come on! There's rest just up ahead, ok? You can rest there." Light would have said or done anything to keep him moving, even if it meant playing along with whatever fantasy L was now seeing.

"I don't want to see anymore…" L's deadpanned tones suddenly tightened. "No more…so many dead. So many bodies…" L's face contorted, his eyes growing huge with a horror Light simply couldn't see. Light's heart was racing now. When did L see bodies in mass numbers? Was this a memory he was reliving, or something his crazed mind was just making up? He watched in horror as L's eyes began watering all over again. He lifted his icy hands and covered his face with them, shielding out whatever massacre he was seeing in his mind, and also hiding his face from the world in devastation. He let out a terrible and sudden wail.

"I've failed! I've failed!" Light gripped him; hard enough to hurt him this time, but L didn't feel it and didn't cry out or even flinch as he had been earlier. Light tried to force L to move forward. He stumbled a few steps, but was fighting Light viciously now.

"No more! I'm sorry! I see the consequences! No more! I understand! This is what happens when I make mistakes! I'm sorry!" Light didn't know what else to do, but to force him forward. Despite his wailing, Light suddenly came up behind him and lifted him up and onto his shoulders like a saddle bag. He slung his partner over them, carrying him like a sack of grain.

"We're going home. It's going to be fine Lawli!" Light insisted. But L only let out another terrible cry. He clutched the back of his partner, burying his face in his pajama shirt, head upside down. His fingers clawed at the warm cotton desperately. He didn't struggle, but he did writhe in what Light could only think of as grief or anguish. The snow fell down all around them as L let his anguish be heard. His tears fell upwards, rolling across his forehead and into his hair. Once there, they travelled across the ebony locks, picking a strand to freeze solid along the way. Then, when they found their way to the ends of his crow's hair, they fell, freezing into little orbs before they ever hit the ground.

* * *

It had been easy.

It had been too easy.

Laughable really.

So easy in fact that there was hardly any work to do at all. Kira couldn't believe he'd never thought to do this before. He had always been so goal driven, so focused on eventually getting inside of Light, that he never thought possessing L would be the answer. He always thought killing L and getting him out of the way would be the best course of action. Then Light would be all his. He'd be easy to take. But now, this way was so much better.

The very moment Kira saw L holding up the Death Note to him, offering it to him, in fact, demanding he go inside of it, Kira knew what he was going to do. He raced into the Death Note, the original portal that allowed him to posses Light in the first place. And he'd been able to possess Light with little to no power at that time. Kira had been weak. He'd been little more than a worm, risen up from Hell. His powers had been nearly none existent, but with the help of the Death Note and with the amplification it offered to him, he'd been able to slowly, ever so slowly, poison Light from within.

L had been a fool. He'd been a complete fool to offer the notebook to him while holding it in his bare hands. But not so much of one so as to say there hadn't been a fight. There had been. Because L had also been holding onto the Bible with his other hand. As such, there had been a fierce struggle for several minutes where Kira wasn't certain he could possess L at all. In fact, he was sure he had been about to be kicked out entirely by the forces of light that had also been working inside of L's small form. L's body had been fiercely trying to reject him, hence why he'd been so sick. No mortal could easily handle a supernatural battle when it was going on inside of their dying flesh. But King of Evil be praised, someone had decided at that moment, to take the Bible away from L before they'd taken away the Death Note. In that very instant Kira had won. Without the Bible, amplifying the power of light, just as the Death Note amplified the powers of dark, Kira had won. The powers of good, still present, always annoyingly present in every situation, still weren't as persuasive without the Bible's presence.

And now that the battle was won, Kira couldn't think of a more perfect set up. The Death Note now lay empty, useless and locked up in a metal briefcase along with a Bible that was protecting nothing at all. Not only was the Bible out of the picture and out of the house L and Light resided in, but the Death Note, which could indeed trap Kira back inside of it if handled properly, was now inaccessible to all parties. Kira, as far as he was concerned, now had an open playground to work in.

Kira had taken up residence inside of a totally oblivious L. Just as Kira had once possessed Light without his knowing. And boy, oh boy, how easy L had made it for him. Kira had never known what a mess L was inside. An absolute mess. The things Quil had said the past few days had been true, L had never taken care of any of his woes from his childhood or even his most recent past. They were all laying strewn about the floor in the open. Kira didn't have to break down any walls or search through any files to gather the ammunition he needed, it was all just there, presented to him like a welcome mat when he first entered.

Light had been a lot more difficult to handle. He had been so neat and tidy inside. All of this thoughts had been filed away and locked up safe. There were walls and rooms and ambitions and hopes and good feelings to break down and work through. And Kira had been forced to search long and hard for the tools he could use to exploit Light. But once he found the traits and faults he needed, it had been a slow, but easy win.

The biggest things Kira had found inside of Light to work with was his temper, his desire for power and his superiority complex. Those had allowed Kira to turn him into a very evil vessel indeed when before he'd simply been a good, hardworking teenager. Almost the perfect model in fact. But everyone had faults. And if exploited correctly, a good demon could turn even the best of people into a wretch.

But L had something just as juicy if not better to work with: wounds that had never healed. And these wounds were so old, so rotten and so festered with disease that Kira hardly had to do more than poke one to short circuit L's entire body. He was riddled with grief and anguish that had never been truly addressed. And of course, these things caused resentment toward the man who L had always thought was meant to act more like a father and less like an employer. And it could even cause problems between L and Light. After all, it was easy to do when L was unstable to begin with. He was holding his insides together with band aids and string for craps sake.

And as such Kira had found all sorts of juicy things to utilize. The memory he'd just found had come right to the surface once L saw the snow and thought it seemed remarkably similar to ash. In all the piles of garbage L had inside of him, this memory floated right on up to the top of the heap, simply because L had been thinking of it. All Kira had to do then was play that memory so that it absorbed everything else. How terrific.

L had once failed to save a town in England from a serial arsonist. The entire town and all twenty eight thousand of its residence had burnt up and then burnt to the ground. Ashes rained down from the smoke filled sky for days. And bodies literally lined the streets once the fires died away. It had been one of the biggest news stories for weeks. That was until a huge earthquake had happened in Korea, and even more people died. Human's never ceased to amuse Kira. They seemed to thrive on death and destruction. The best news story was always the one with the biggest body count.

But that was beside the point; sucking L away into a memory was easy since he never filed them away properly. And exploiting his emotions was even easier. Light hadn't been nearly as emotional as L was. He kept his feelings guarded. Sometimes that was better to work with, if certain things were repressed, but in this case, Kira much preferred L. He was a sensitive soul because of all the tragedy that had befallen him. Kira saw that he had the amazing ability to hide the fact that he had feelings. By simply flipping through his memory banks, he could see that L had successfully hidden away almost all signs of emotion while he was working as a detective. That was what made them so rotten and festering. But now he was struggling to air those emotions out. He was slowly making things better, tidying up the garbage heaps inside of him. But Kira still had plenty of raw material to use. All he needed was to poke this sore spot there, or that wound over there.

The only problem he'd encountered at all, thus far, had been the nearness L had been to that church a few moments earlier. Kira had been working his power quite easily, keeping L feeling terrified and scared, making him remember what it was like to be abused by people who were meant to take care of him and protect him. Kira had very easily forced that image on Light, a person who was meant to love and cherish him. If L's parents could hurt him, if the care takers at the orphanage could hurt him, if Quil could hurt him, surly Light could too. That simple seed of doubt had allowed Kira to take his fears and make it bloom into a brilliant beast.

But then those cursed church bells started to chime. L's heart cleared almost immediately. Kira saw it fill with a sudden, powerful and inexplicit sense of desperate hope. This force of the light was so powerful and so full that Kira suddenly had no power over L at all. Even though Kira still had a firm grip on his head, his mind, and his thoughts, L's feelings of hope made him immediately turn and _race_ for the church like the holy beacon it was.

Kira had tried to stop him, tried to make him think that he'd never be accepted at a church, that he'd be shunned or turned away or even ridiculed, but none of these things stopped him. His memory of bells and what they represented to him drove him powerfully onward and farther away from Kira and his suggestions. And once he was in the presence of the holy building, well…there wasn't much Kira could do. Kira had been remarkably repressed simply by L sitting outside on its front stoop. Kira had felt chained down, like heavy weights had been fixed to him. Although he could still make suggestions and move things around inside of L, L was no longer listening.

L had almost figured him out at that time, he was sure. L knew there was something wrong with him, he knew he wasn't in control of himself. But luckily, before the subject could really be discussed, Light had led him away in fear of him getting sick from the cold. Kira took control again the moment they were out of range of that cursed building. And now L was his again.

His.

His to control, to toy with.

He wanted to make him suffer. He wanted to make him writhe. And once Kira felt he'd suffered enough, he would take total and complete control, shoving L back and away into a dark place. Then he'd take him like he took Sheryl. Kira would then reveal himself to Light and force Light to offer himself up instead. Because although L was a wonderfully delicious tool, he still could not be Kira's final host. As easy as it was to torment L, Kira knew, from looking at all the things inside of him that he would never be able to make him commit the atrocities he wanted. He would never be able to get L to kill innocent people in mass numbers as he'd been able to get Light to do. No. Even after all L had been through, his convictions about right and wrong, his sense of what justice was, was too strong for even Kira to combat. Mostly because these ideals of L's, were all the little man had to run on through the misery of his life. It was his convictions and his moral code that kept him alive. Kira was sure it was the only reason he never contemplated suicide. Because he knew he could help. He knew he had the rare ability over most all others on earth: not only the brains, but the moral conduct to do what was right, despite his own transgressions.

And so, Kira still needed Light. Light, last time Kira had looked inside of him, still had a seed of hatred toward human kind that he could water and nourish. If that seed of hatred was still alive even in the slightest way, Kira knew he could take Light's ideals, his pain and his anger, and turn it toward the human race. It had been so easy last time. He was sure he could do it again.

And so, if Kira presented Light with a torn and suffering partner, and gave him the option of ending L's suffering, Kira knew he would take it. And then Kira's victory would be won. Kira knew, Light would willingly let him in a second time if it was to save his precious Lawli. He would willingly give his soul to Kira to take, if only it meant Kira would leave his lover alone. Light wouldn't be able to say no. Not after seeing what being possessed meant for L. Not when he saw what Kira would be doing to his L. Steadily going crazy was one thing, but there were plenty of other juicy strings inside his new host that he could pull. And things would get far worse before they got better.

Kira grinned horridly, wickedly from within his puppet. Pulling strings had always been the best kind of old fashioned fun.


	31. Unraveled

Author's Note: Ok. I've officially finished writing Jealousy. The last chapter still needs to be edited, so be patient. Until then, I'm going to post the last few chapters that I have left, consecutively, probably one chapter a day. So I hope you're all up for a lot of reading and I hope you're ready for an awesome conclusion to this story! It took me a long time to come up with the perfect ending! I hope you like it.

~Spotofpaint

* * *

L and Light hadn't been gone very long. And as such, their guests were still at the house when Light arrived back home, a hysterical L slung over his shoulder. When he burst through the front door, wind and ice at his back, all three leapt up from the couch letting out gasps of horror.

"Light!"

"What happened?" Byte and Katie ran over first, being younger and more spree. But Quil was only a second behind. L was still sobbing, his hands clenching fistfuls of Light's pajamas at his back. Light grimaced. He had hoped that Byte and Katie would have taken his advice and had gone home. But now that the situation had turned in the way it had, there was nothing he could do.

"Quil…call that doctor we've been discussing." Quil didn't even hesitate. He nodded, then hurried out of the room to fetch his cell phone.

Exhausted from carrying L such a long way, Light headed toward the couch. He thought, perhaps, L would be more comfortable there anyway. He'd have the fire. And Light knew how much he loved their fireplace. He'd told him plenty of times about how it was one of his most favorite memories: the first time they'd made love.

_A forever memory,_ he'd said. _I've never felt so belonging in a place. I believe they call this feeling…peace. Yes…at peace._

But now…

Light carefully laid L down, back against the softness of the suede pillows. Light went to stand, so he could fetch L a blanket or maybe coax him back to normal with some hot chocolate. But the moment he went to pull away, L's grip intensified until his nails dug sharply into Light's back. He hissed in pain, but dared not pull away.

"No!" L suddenly cried. "No, don't leave me! I'm alone! I'm always so alone!" Byte and Katie stood several feet back, staring with huge, frightened eyes. Clearly, neither of them knew what to do. Light, stuck in a hunched over position by the side of the couch, couldn't bring himself to move. The pleading in L's strained voice was heart wrenching. In fact, he wasn't sure how much more he could take of L's tears and his pain.

"I won't leave you…" he whispered softly, tenderly. "I'm right here Lawli…please…please come back to me." But L's grip didn't lessen. And knowing it wouldn't, Light reserved himself for the stay. He lowered himself until he was on his knees. The carpeted floor didn't make it too uncomfortable. Once settled down beside the sofa, L's grip seemed to loosen just a tad. Light was sure he sensed that Light would be staying now that he moved into a more permanent position. Still, just because his grip loosened, didn't mean he was recovering. His breathing was fast and shallow, and it was interrupted by gasps and sobs. It appeared almost as if someone were physically torturing him.

Light was sure his heart would simply wither away and die if L didn't recover in the next few moments. L shouldn't look like this. He never should look like this. Light knew that L was made to wear a smile. The kind he saw just the other day when they'd been playing out in the leaves. His eyes crinkled shut in delight, a rosy color to his cheeks as he laughed. This…this man here before him…this couldn't be his Lawliet. Lawliet was supposed to be happy.

"Light…w…what's wrong with Lawliet? Can we help?" Light twisted his head around as far as it could go without the aid of turning his body. L wouldn't allow him. Light gazed at the two, his torment over L's condition evident on his face. All the same, he was still sharp in his next tones.

"You two have to go home. Ok? Just go home." He hadn't yelled, but his voice was firm enough to let the two youths know how serious he was. Neither of the pair budged. They stayed where they were, eyes wide in the firelight. It was quiet, and the only sound was of the crackling of the fire, and L's ragged breathing. Finally, Byte took a step forward.

"Let us help." And it was the determination and strength in his voice, despite his fear, that actually made Light consider it. Besides, they'd already seen what was happening. If Light turned them away now, it wouldn't stop any rumors from being born. It wasn't that he didn't trust Katie and Byte. He knew they would keep a secret if he asked them too. But people in town were already talking about L and the Halloween party. If anyone asked Katie and Byte questions, well…they were teenagers. Try as they might, they probably wouldn't know what to say or how to explain things.

And on top of that, Light was now indisposed. He couldn't arise to do anything for L himself. He could use a bit of help. And…they _were_ their friends. They had been, ever since he and L had moved into town. Katie and Byte had been the first to accept them. And they'd been by their side ever since. Nothing had swayed them. Not finding out they were gay, not finding out that they had a hidden past, not finding out that L was a little unhinged and Light a bit violent. They were still here. And they were still willing to help. Seeing L completely melt down and lose his mind didn't put them off anymore than the other things they'd discovered about the couple. Light gave a curt nod.

"Ok," he said. "Katie, make some hot chocolate and also try a bowl of ice cream. Byte, go upstairs and get the quilt from our bed." Both nodded, then immediately took off to handle their given chores. Once gone, Light faced L once more. Now he was whimpering lightly. Having no idea what else to do for him, Light decided to try and talk to him.

"Lawli…it's ok. We're home. You're safe with me. I'll protect you. Nothing can hurt you." L's eyes, which had been squeezed shut the entire time, carefully opened. Tears continued to glide down his cheeks, catching reflections of the warm fire as they went. But now that his eyes were opened, Light almost wished they'd remained closed. His gaze was still cloudy. The intelligence and sharpness of his eyes nonexistent. The life Light was used to seeing in those orbs seemed as if it were barely more than a flicker. He was clearly gone. Wherever his mind had taken him, it was someplace far far away. A place far away from their happy home, their warm fire and the love they'd worked so hard to build together. L was in a place where none of these things existed.

"Mord ist noch Mord," he suddenly said. Light blinked. At first he'd been confused, but then realized that L was speaking in German. He recognized the language from a high school elective he'd once taken. But sadly, he was not fluent in it. He had no idea what was said.

"Sie können an sie als Dirnen oder Hookers denken, wenn Sie möchten. Aber ich möchte sie als Frauen, die geraubt worden und ermordet worden, gerade wie irgendeine andere Art Frau ansehen. Es gibt keinen Grund, sie nicht zu speichern." Light couldn't respond. He knew that L had dozens of different languages lodged away in his mind. It wasn't a wonder if they weren't all spilling out now that he didn't have a hold on it any longer.

"Lawli, I'm speaking English, try English," Light prompted hopefully.

"English?" L suddenly questioned. "There's no colour in England. It's always quite grey…" Light blinked once again as he heard the very thick English accent spill out from between L's pale lips. He barely even recognized it as English at first. Was this his native tongue? Was this how he spoke when he was a small child, before Quil had adopted him and stuffed his head full of other languages?

Suddenly, L's tears came more quickly and his sweet face contorted all over again. Light felt like his heart would explode. He just wanted to die when he saw L's face strain, his chin quiver, his mouth contort into a twisted line of grief. L lifted a hand, removing it from Light's back and threw it over his face as if he could hide away.

"They say no one will want me! And it's true! On adoption day, none of them ever look at me! In fact, they all turn away!" Light knew he wouldn't be able to make it. He felt his chest tighten. His heart was already racing as if it would explode. The pressure of seeing L like this was rising. It grew inside of him, pushing insistently at his skin. He was sure his bones would break. Something about L's crying, as if he were nothing more than a boy, an English boy, with a thick accent, was more torturous than anything else up to date.

"Mumma…Mumma gave me away! She said she didn't want me. She said the reason Papa's angry all the time is because of me…" He sobbed. And Light couldn't take it any longer. He felt his insides break as if they were glass that could be shattered. He felt himself start to unravel, as if he were being torn apart.

Throbbing fire pushed at the back of his eyes, and without any resistance, spilled out and down his face. He suddenly leaned in and wrapped his arms around L's boney form. He held L tightly as his body began to tremble. He couldn't imagine. He couldn't imagine having a son and treating him so horridly. He couldn't imagine hurting that child for the first several years of its life, and then one day shirking that child off into a government run institution where there was no guarantee of his safety or happiness. A place where he knew that child were be bumped from foster home to foster home, from orphanage to orphanage, never having solid footing, never feeling like he had a home or family or love. It was a life of constant uprooting. Nothing was saved, nothing remained the same. Light could not imagine a worse hell for a young child. Even if a child stuck in the system managed to make friends, even those would be lost in the next move. L had always been alone.

"Please stop…" Light suddenly whispered as he clutched his lover in desperation. He couldn't take it. He honestly had no idea, how L had. "Please…Lawli…please…"

Suddenly, there was a gentle hand on Light's shoulder. Turning, but never letting go of L, Light saw Quil standing above him. Quil looked grim and gray. But he also looked as if he were much more capable of handling this than Light was. Light was far too emotional.

"Let me," he said softly. "I've made the call, the doctor's on his way. Until then…let me have L." Light had no choice. He was falling apart. So he nodded. He started to pull away from L. Immediately, L cried out in alarm. But as Light pulled away, Quil, on his old knees, got down in the place Light had been. He leaned in, letting L wrap his needing arms around his back instead of Light's. He almost immediately started to calm down.

"L, do you know who I am?" Quil asked gently. And there was such tenderness in his tones that Light hardly recognized the old man at all. Light carefully got to his feet.

"…" L responded.

"Yes," Quil gently reached out, wrapping his aged arms around the fully grown man on the couch. He carefully embraced him. Light watched as L flinched at first, but then immediately settled down. His eyes fluttered closed in what looked like a wave of relief.

"…I know you said…you wouldn't be like a papa…but you…you will feed me…and take care of me…won't you?" Quil's grip intensified on his charge. It was clear from the new wrinkles that formed on his strained face, and the pained look on him that he very much regretted not officially having taken on the role of L's father. But it was too late to rewrite the story now. Even with L's mind in the current state it was in.

"Yes," he said, his voice tight. "You won't need to worry about those things anymore L. You'll never starve; you'll never be hungry again. You'll have your own bed here, and you can take a bath whenever you like. And the caretakers here at Whammy's House are all professionals. You can trust them. They won't ever hurt you. They're here to take care of you."

"But Whammy's House is special…and it's not an orphanage, right? So I…I won't ever be adopted?" Light watched as Quil's eyes teared in the same way his own had. Ribbons of water streamed down his old cheeks. He had robbed L's chances of ever finding a family, of ever being a normal boy and having parents who could love him. And he knew it.

"No L…" he said quietly. "This is your home now."

Light could take no more. He abruptly turned on his heel and ran for the nearest bathroom. There was one downstairs near the kitchen and as he was running, his shoulder bumped harshly into Katie's who immediately let out a startled cry. Light didn't stop for her, but kept on going. He just couldn't take it. It was all too much. Seeing L in so much agony…it was destroying him. He needed to get away, if only for a few moments.

Even as Katie was calling after him, he slammed the bathroom door shut. He immediately locked it. And before he had a chance to even decide what would be the next best move in recovering, he sank down to the floor. He collapsed to his knees. Wrapping his arms around himself, he suddenly burst into tears.

He knew there was nothing he could do. There was nothing any of them could do. No one could go inside L's mind and straighten things out. He'd simply broken. And the worst part, was that Light didn't understand why. Hadn't things gone well? Granted L had been under a lot of pressure lately, but all of that had been resolved. Sheryl was in the hospital and then would be sent to a mental institution where she could never bother them again. Kira had been taken care of and locked away inside the Death Note. And even Quil had decided to stay a few days, just to visit, and for nothing more. It was a perfect ending. So why? Why?

Light let out a wretched sob. It wracked through his body, bursting violently out of his chest and through his throat. He sank forward even further until his forehead touched the tiled floor. His tears fell. It just wasn't fair. This was the part where they were supposed to be together, making love in fits of brilliant passion. This was the part where they were meant to be happy and to live their lives the way they wanted too. They should have been going for ice cream at Katie's shop even though it was thirty degrees outside. They should have been going into town to explain to their friends that everything was ok after all and not to worry. They should have begun a discussion about Thanksgiving, the next holiday now that November was here. Light would complain about having to cook everything himself. L would offer to help. Light would retort that he couldn't, because he ruined any food he touched when he tried to cook. They bicker, but eventually resolve the conflict and L would instead be in charge of inviting over guests before realizing that they'd be having Thanksgiving at Katie's family's house instead and that Light wouldn't have to cook after all.

That's what should have been happening. Not this. Light didn't even know what this was or where it had come from. Why would L lose his mind now? What had triggered it? Light couldn't imagine.

He could hear him in the next room, saying something about type A blood and canaries. That's right, canaries. Light kept his face smashed into the floor. He didn't want to move, didn't want to breathe. He just couldn't imagine a life without L. And he knew that very thought was a very real possibility. When the doctor came, surely…surely he would need to take L away and lock him in an insane asylum, the very place L had dreaded going his entire life. But Light knew that this would be what was best for him. If the doctor felt L needed constant supervision and needed to put him in a place where he could be observed then…that was what Light would do.

He'd do anything for L. Even if it meant letting him be taken away. Light would be living all alone. Unemployed. Unable to pay the bills or even wake in the morning without his Lawliet.

_I'd rather die._ He suddenly thought. But he knew he'd never go through with it. He'd have to stay alive, and be as happy as he possibly could muster so that one day if or when L recovered and could come home…Light would be here waiting for him. Because if L got better and Light had ended up killing himself he knew it would just destroy L all over again. He couldn't hurt him like that. He wanted L to know and to see that Light had been fine the entire time he was away and that they could pick up where they left off.

_Now now, don't be so hasty. There's no way to know if the doctor is going to take L away. Maybe he can…do something…_ But Light wasn't sure how much be believed it. All the same, the thought made him feel a little better. His sobs lessened into heavy tears which were much more manageable and much less crippling. He had to pull himself together. He had to…for L's sake. L would need him. Even if he wasn't aware that he was even by his side. Light knew he would be, regardless of L's awareness of it.

So he slowly sat up, pushing himself up off the bathroom floor. He wiped at his face. He reached out a shaking hand to the roll of toilette paper and grabbed a few sheets. He couldn't breathe. Tearing it, he folded it up and blew his nose. Careful to clean himself up so he'd look at least somewhat presentable, he slowly arose. His knees felt like jello and his legs weren't any more reliable than melting wax, but he still managed to stand. Tossing the tissue in the trash, he turned to the mirror. Light quickly slid a hand through his hair to make it fall straight. Then he licked his thumb and ran it over his left eyebrow to smooth it.

He frowned. He was sure he still looked like shit. His face was pale, the skin around his eyes red and puffy. But there was nothing he could do about that. He at least wished he was in some decent clothes, but alas, he was still in his coat and pajamas. Light sighed heavily. Maybe he'd change outfits before he tackled this problem again. Nodding to himself, he emerged from the bathroom. He went straight for the stairs so he could get into a suit.


	32. Puppets

Author's Note: Ok, this is it folks. Only three chapters left. I've decided I'm going to just post them all, right now. Because in all honesty, these three chapters should all be read together consequtivly. This chapter is the first half of the climax, and the next chapter is the end of it. And then of course we have the conclusion. You guys would kill me if I split them up. So here it is, the end of the story.

~Spotofpaint

* * *

Katie and Byte stayed. They tried to coax L into eating something. He didn't even recognize that the ice cream and hot chocolate were in front of him. He had moved onto speaking in Arabic. Then Latin. Then French. Only Quil was able to keep up with the change in languages. L mumbled about different cases, bodies and serial murderers. He mumbled about wolves, sweets to eat and the laws of physics. It seemed like his mind was completely scattered. He couldn't even hold a conversation.

When the doctor finally came, he did as much of an exam as he could. But with L in the state he was in, he couldn't answer any of the doctor's questions. Able to narrow it down to a few mental illnesses, but unable to make a full diagnostic, the doctor ultimately decided it would be best to knock L out. He gave him a shot of tranquilizers, and very quickly, L's wide glassy eyes fluttered closed.

The doctor told Light that in some cases, the patient would wake up as lucid and as normal as they once were. If that were the case, the doctor could come back and do further testing. If L woke up and was still trapped in his own mind, he recommended taking him to an institution where he could be further helped.

Light listened numbly the entire time, nodding and agreeing with almost anything the doctor deemed fit. But with L asleep, there wasn't anything else to be done. The doctor decided to spend the day at the local hotel and gave Light his number. In eight hours when L woke back up, Light was to give him a call and he'd come back over to continue the tests and the examination.

After that, the doctor left. Byte and Katie followed, exhausted from the mornings activities. It was hard to believe it wasn't even lunch time. Light was sure he'd lived a year in only a few hours.

But in any case, it was over now. Light carried L up to their bed upstairs and gently tucked him in and lay him down. He made his unconscious partner as comfortable as he possibly could. Then he himself laid down with him to watch him as he slept. But of course, Light had just woken up himself and wasn't tire. So after an hour, he got up and went downstairs to seek Quil's company. Any company would have served him better than none at the time. And at least with Quil, he could find solace in someone else who also cared about L a great deal. It would be nice to just sit and talk with the old man.

And so, fully dressed, and face finally dry, Light shuffled out of the master bedroom, his slippers scuffling against the carpeted floor. He took one last look back at his sleeping lover, then sadly, and quietly shut the door behind him.

The room was completely quiet for several seconds as the sound of Light's feet could be heard descending the stairs. And then once all sound stopped completely, there was nothing more.

It was then that L's eyes opened. The dark orbs were sharp, and full of total awareness. But they also were very different from the sharp eyes Light was used to seeing. To someone who knew L well, it was clear that L was not the man at the helm. A dark, sinister grin spread slowly across L's pale lips.

Kira simply could not believe his luck. Drugs. Really? Did the humans really just drug L's body with tranquilizers thinking it would help? A mental illness patient, maybe, yes, but a possessed body, no. Certainly not. All they'd managed to do was knock L's consciousness completely out of the picture. L was so suppressed at the moment due to the drugs, that Kira didn't have to spend any energy at all keeping him at bay.

L was now fully aware that he was possessed. But Kira couldn't have cared less. There was nothing L could do for eight full hours. For the entire time the drugs gripped L's body, Kira had total and complete control.

"So foolish, so foolish," he whispered. It was strange, hearing L's voice come out instead of Light's. Kira was just so used to speaking through a different set of lungs, a different set of vocal chords. Ah, but alas, this had been his goal all along.

Giddy with joy, he took his new body and made it sit up in bed. It moved a bit strangely. He was feeling numb from the narcotics. His skin, which was much paler than Lights, tingled slightly. Holding L's body in an awkward and lopsided fashion, he rubbed at this wrists and hands. He frowned with his new face. He didn't really like the numbing effects of the drugs; he couldn't feel anything with L's nerves. But that wouldn't be a big deal. He could have cared less about L's safety anyway, so who cared if he bumped into a few things due to nerves?

Flexing his hands, Kira slowly moved to the edge of the bed. He grunted. L's body was much weaker than Light's, and smaller, and he felt more frail. And his spine and shoulders felt deformed.

"Ugh, what a disgusting vessel…" But Kira knew it would serve his purposes. Simply being inside L at all was a huge masterpiece. Getting this far, Kira knew, must have already pleased his boss, the dark lord. Kira was a favorite of his after all. He'd killed so many and had gathered plenty of souls. If he could manage to possess Light once again…well…Kira dared to think he could even surpass the dark lord himself.

He grinned wickedly once more, a quiet, yet terrifying chuckle growled up from the back of his throat. He was going to cause so much damage. So much. So very much. And Kira was eager to get started. He wanted to spill some blood. Quickly, and right away. He lifted his wrists, staring at the pale, snow coloring of them. The delicate, pulsating veins of blue trembled just beneath the surface of such easily tearable skin. He knew all he would need to do was claw or tear or bite and such fragile skin would break. And then those blue veins would reveal the deep shining red within them, their true color. And it would look so lovely on such white, white skin.

Kira salivated, feeling the living glands in his mouth come to life at the thought of the very taste of such salty blood. He quivered in place on the edge of the bed, bare feet dangling over its side. He wanted to, he wanted to bite so badly. He wanted to feel the sweet sting of pain, knowing that L, deep inside, even through the drugs would feel it too. He would feel it and cry out in the darkness of a place where no one could hear him but Kira. Kira would savor the sound, and he'd savor the torment of his host.

But…

"The plan…stick to the plan," he reminded himself. He couldn't kill L. Or even cause too much damage to him just yet. His ultimate goal was still Light Yagami. He may be able to make L's body do whatever he wished at the moment, but the second the drugs wore off, L would start fighting back now that he was aware of his presence. And once that happened, Kira knew there was a very good chance he'd lose control of the body. He could even be kicked out. And then he'd never get a chance to possess Light. And so, the plan needed to happen now. He had to make Light take him in willingly. And then Light would be his forever.

Kira slid off the bed and stumbled as he got to his feet. He felt unstable in such a strange body. All the same, a plan was a plan. He was sure it wouldn't be hard to convince Light that he needed to allow Kira to possess him. All he had to do was demonstrate the things he could do to his precious Lawliet if he didn't take him in. And the only thing that required was a sharp instrument.

Kira shuffled and stumbled over to the master bathroom. And as he moved erratically over to the medicine cabinet, his bones looking almost as if they were disjointed, he had the jolly thought that even if Light thought of the Bible as a weapon, there'd be nothing he could do about it. He wouldn't be able to reach the car, unlock it, and then reach the case and unlock that. He didn't even know the codes. And once he was faced with the potential death of his Lawliet, he wouldn't dare move unless Kira told him he could.

Kira flung open the cabinet door, his eyes huge with delight. So many things in the cabinet. Drugs, medicines, nail clippers, toothpicks. One could do a lot of damage with a simple toothpick if that someone weren't afraid to really gouge and stab. There was a nail file. That was the most promising so far. Kira would have loved a good sharp knife though…

A glint out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned to glance at the sink and saw what he really wanted. A razor.

"Cold, biting steel." His voice came out in a low, dark, eager growl. He took the few steps over to the sink he needed, then picked up the razor. All he needed from it was the blade.

Kira could have cared less about L's skin, or what damage he caused to him, and so, he grabbed the plastic holder with his hands and viciously and violently started to bend it to break it open. Never mind the easy release tab in on the back of the head.

There was an immediate bite of pain in his palms. The bite was hot and sharp. Kira let out a brief moan of ecstasy. He could feel L squirming inside of him as his hands began to bleed.

_Yes, yes! Writhe! It hurts you doesn't it? For me it's only pleasure. But for you…pain. Am I ruining your hands? The hands God made for you?_

Kira squeezed the blade, making the metal bite in even deeper. Not because he needed to put more pressure to open the razor and get at the blade, but because it caused L to cry out inside of him. Kira laughed inwardly, not daring to laugh outwardly. If he made too much noise, Light would come back up the stairs before he was ready.

Kira watched, feeling satisfied as a thin river of deep maroon threaded itself down L's snow white palm. The thread of it painted a trail down the back of his wrist before gravity forced it to bead and then drip to the floor.

It was beautiful. Kira savored the site. Even such a small amount of blood was quenching compared to none at all. But before Kira could debate whether he'd cause more damage or not, there was a loud 'snap' and the razor head broke free. Three sharp, new razor blades spilled out of it and clattered into the ceramic sink. Kira made L's hands release what it was holding and the bloody plastic carcass of the razor fell beside it's spilt innards.

"Ahh," Kira breathed. He reached into the smeared sink and picked up only one of the blades. It was all he would need after all. He lowered it down into the shadows of the bathroom in order to inspect it. It was a good one. The edge of it almost shivering with anticipation.

"You will cut soon. Do not worry friend. You will cut and gouge and slice." The blade seemed to calm a little at Kira's reassurances. Smiling fondly, he pinched it between his fingers then turned to the bathroom door. Today the war would be won.

Downstairs, Light sat alone on the living room couch. Quil, after doing his best to comfort him, had offered to go into town to fetch them some more hot chocolate. They were out after having offered some to Byte and Katie. Light had agreed for the pure and simple fact that L might want some once he woke up. If things went the way they wanted them to, if things went the way the doctor said they could…then L could just wake up and be himself. If that were the case, Light wanted to have some hot chocolate waiting for him.

L loved hot chocolate in winter time. He loved the fire and he loved to sit by it curled in a blanket, chocolate in his hands. They hardly ever watched TV. L always said it was just another of the dozens of ways people wasted their minds. There was something building about sitting in quiet with a fire and the simple pleasure of a cup of cocoa. L appreciated these things, and in turn, Light had learned to appreciate them too.

Besides…Light was sure that one of the biggest reasons was that L was tired of screens. He still used his computer, obviously, but not nearly at the length of time he used too. And TV had only ever brought him horror on his cases. In this life, in their new life they'd created, he enjoyed the things he never had the time for before.

Light sighed, sagging back in his seat against the soft pillows. Normally he sat up right, his back straight, his posture perfect. He enjoyed being proper. But today, he simply no longer cared. He was far too depressed. L was sick after all. What would he do if he didn't recover?

_I'd rather die,_ he thought harshly. But he knew it wasn't entirely true. After all, he'd already had this discussion with himself when he was crying in the bathroom. He wouldn't ever kill himself. Not when there was even the slightest ray of hope that L could recover. Because if L came back to himself and learned Light had killed himself…well…he'd blame himself and just go crazy all over again. Light couldn't do that. He'd wait for him. And he'd have to try to live as happily as he could. Just to say that he wasn't entirely miserable without him.

_But how can I ever be happy without him? He's become my everything. _Light suddenly let out a quick snort, a sour smile coming to his lips. _Listen to me. I sound like one of those sappy romance novelists. See what L's done to me? The bastard. _But even as Light thought these things, his aching smile grew. He loved what he had become. And it hurt more than ever to realize it without the source of his change.

"Lawli…" His almond shaped eyes began to glimmer all over again, and he felt a wave of self pity rising up inside. He was sure he was going to break down again when suddenly he heard the ceiling above him creek.

Light let out a quick gasp, sitting up abruptly in his seat.

What had that noise been?

He stopped, listening intently and turning his ear toward where he'd thought he'd heard the noise. Of course, L was unconscious, so no one could have been up there. Right?

It was silent. All he heard now was the soft whispers of the winter outside. He waited a moment more. But nothing. Light sighed, and started to slowly relax. His mind must have been playing tricks on him. Maybe he was hopeful that this whole thing had just been a horrible nightmare and that L was indeed awake and upstairs. But he knew it was just wishful thinking.

He leaned back against the pillows a second time and was content to settle back down into his misery when he suddenly heard it again: a quick creek of the floorboards. Light sat upright on the edge of the couch, his eyes wide. He couldn't have been imagining that. And even as he thought it, he swore he heard the upstairs bathroom door open.

Light bolted out of his seat. He couldn't even find his voice to cry out to his love. His words and his breath were caught in his throat. But it didn't stop his heart and his feet from thudding their way across the living room and straight up the stairs to the second floor. Excitement beyond hope flung him to the bedroom door. He burst through, tossing the bedroom door aside, his eyes aglow with a hopeful flame. He looked around frantically.

But once standing in the threshold of the master bedroom, Light stopped abruptly, the joy and hope on his face melting into one of total confusion. His brow knit together, and his caramel eyes lost the light that had just entered them. There standing before him, and having just come out of the bathroom, was L. But L didn't look like L at all. In fact, Light hadn't recognized him at first. He might as well have been a complete stranger in his home. This man was short, pale, and thin. But not in the same ways as his L. This man had wild black hair, and a deranged expression on his face. His eyes were pitch black, like black holes or vacuums in space. They were not full of their usual joy for life. They weren't even full of the pain Light had seen them in only recently. These eyes were sharp, very aware, and soulless.

There was no light in these eyes. Not even a glimmer.

L's lips curved upward into a terrible grin. A grin Light did not recognize. And it was the horror of his face that had completely distracted him from the fact that L was bleeding.

"Hello, Light." A voice came out of L's mouth. But it was not L's voice. Although it used L's vocal chords, Light knew perfectly well, that whatever he was looking at was not his L. L never called him Light.

Light took one step backward away from the creature in shock. It seemed to be evoking a terrible black energy. The air around L's thin form trembled with Hellish delight. Light's face only twisted further in confusion. What was happening? If this wasn't L, then who was it? And what had happened to his lover?

"What's the matter old friend? Don't you recognize me? Haven't you missed me?" The L creature took a step forward. It was then that Light's eyes fell down to the razor he held in his hands; his bleeding, dripping hands. Droplet's of crimson made stars on their carpeted bedroom floor. They fanned out slowly.

"You're hands…" Light groaned. His stomach turned at the sight of it. Although he was sure that what he was looking at wasn't his L, he was still perfectly aware that whatever was driving was inside of L's body. This was L's flesh, L's hands that have been harmed.

"What? Oh this?" The L thing lifted its hands, gazing at them briefly and with little interest. "I just couldn't wait, so I had a tiny snack." The creature turned its horrible gaze back to Light once more. Its eyes were magnetic.

It then forced L to stand up straight.

Light heard L's vertebrae crack all the way up his spine and up into the base of his neck. L didn't cry out in pain as he should have. Instead…the L creature smiled from ear to ear. His eyelids fluttered in what Light could only describe as pleasurable bliss. It was a disgusting sight.

"Ahh…" It was very weird seeing L at his full height and with no hunch to his shoulders. And it was probably the most disturbing thing he'd ever witnessed. He just knew that L's body couldn't stay that way due to the scoliosis. He must have been in agony standing like that, but the L thing only seemed happy about it. His face showed a type of celebration, as if he were feeding off of something Light couldn't see. But even so, he kept his attention on Light.

"Now Light, we have some business, so lets' cut to the chase. I don't feel like dancing around the subject. So I'll ask you directly: do you know what's happened here? Do you know who I am?"

Light wasn't a dumb man. As much as he'd love to be in denial at the moment, to fool himself for a few more precious seconds, he knew he didn't have the luxury. He knew exactly what had taken place here. He knew that there was only one way his drugged and injured partner could be up and about at that moment. There was only one way his L could be here physically, but be possessed by something else. Have been forced to deal with Sheryl this entire time, Light had seen this enough times to understand exactly what was taking place, no matter how horrifying the idea could be.

"You're Kira," he said quietly, but distinctively. "You're Kira and you've possessed L while he was sleeping."

Kira through back L's head and laughed hysterically. His voice resounded through their bedroom.

"Oh Light! You've grown stupid too! Just like L!" He continued to laugh, his voice mocking and jagged. Light dared not move. Instead, he waited for Kira to calm down. Once he did, he grinned Light's way.

"You don't even know when I took possession of your little precious fag. How quaint. Normally I'd love to play a guessing game with you, but as I said earlier, I'm not in the mood for games. So I'll just tell you. I possessed him when I entered the Death Note. I went right through and into his body. That wonderful butler of L's took the Bible away from him, leaving him with only me for a brief beautiful second. That's all it took." Kira grinned triumphantly, proudly.

"And because he had no idea I was hitching a ride, he had no chance of kicking me out."

And then of course, it all made sense. Light grimaced. How could he not have put this together soon? Why had it come to this? He was a genius for God's sake! He should have seen this coming. He should have understood what was taking place back at that mountain cabin. Of course. It was so simple now. L had gotten so sick…so physically ill. Light should have known. Light remembered when he himself had been possessed. He'd grown ill too…before he'd adjusted to the new addition of a demon inside of his body. Light had been in turmoil for several days when he'd first started using the Death Note. It had taken some getting used to.

Light grit his teeth. His stupidity and blindness caused L his suffering. He should have seen this sooner. He should have understood. When L started going mad…he should have known.

"You! You did this to him! You drove him mad!" Light suddenly accused, crying out in fury. Kira only chuckled, then lifted one of his smeared palms.

"Guilty as charged!" Light's initial shock and fear quickly started to subside. In their place was a growing, roaring, fury. His heart picked up speed, his hands clenched into fists. He dug his nails into the meat of his palms as heat began to rush to his face. His caramel eyes narrowed with anger, their normally soft and loving qualities now completely replaced with hatred.

"How dare you," he growled quietly, dangerously. "How _dare_ you! How dare you hurt him! How dare you do such things to him! Like he's some sort of plaything!"

"But he _is_ a plaything!" Kira suddenly shouted, loud. "He's _my_ plaything. And I can make him do whatever I want! Watch." And suddenly, and without any warning at all, Kira lifted the blade he had in his hand and made a very quick, sharp downward motion. In an instant there was a new ribbon of red forming on the soft flesh of the inside of L's arm. It wasn't deep enough to be fatal, but it was certainly deep enough to bleed. Light let out a gasp of horror as he recoiled. That was L's body. Kira only laughed, turning to face him once more.

"See? He's my little puppet on a string. He'll do whatever I want. Those precious drugs that doctor pumped him full of prevent him from fighting back. He's as helpless as a foal. I could break his little legs, or make him tear out his own eyes! He's fun to hurt you know. He's screaming inside of me right now. He can feel everything. I like to hurt him. It's just so easy. So many bad memories for me to choose from. Such pale skin to cut." Kira breathed in heavily, seemingly turned on by the concept of bringing L pain. He seethed, and then lifted the razor blade in order to gaze at the shimmering crimson on its edge. He eyed it lustfully for only a moment, then immediately opened his mouth.

"No! Don't!" Light cried, reaching out a futile hand to stop him. But Kira didn't wait. He brought the blade in and gently licked the sharpened blade, leaving a small cut in L's tongue. Kira gazed cockily at Light, lifting his horrific eyes.

"Mmmm." Light shuddered in horror, bringing his hands in close to his chest.

"Get out of him! Leave him alone!" He cried without thinking. If he'd been more rational, he would have thought to try to trick Kira, or bargain with him in some way. But he was just too hysterical over L's condition. It was gut wrenching to watch. He felt defiled at simply witnessing this grotesque display. He wanted his Lawli back. And he wanted him safe and whole and happy. Seeing him treated like this in such a way…and not ebing able to do a thing about it, was killing him inside. What could he do? He couldn't move forward. He felt paralyzed.

"You want me to get out of him?" Kira asked. "You want me to leave him alone? Then it's very simple Light. All I want is to repossess you. You know that don't you? We were made for each other. You're a perfect fit for me. Only with your brains and with your type of personality and power can we rise to the top. L's just not good enough for me. He's not a god. Not like you. You are the one. You're perfect. We've already accomplished so much together."

Kira moved forward, lifting his arms out as if to receive Light with a hug. His face was full of yearning as he thought of the time when he was inside of Light Yagami. The creatures lustful face was terrifying as he moved forward. Light instinctively moved back, terror piercing his heart.

"No! Stay away!" Kira did indeed stop. He gazed at Light with confusion, slowly lowering his arms.

"No?" He cocked his head to the side. Something that when L did it, was adorable. But when Kira did it…it was disgusting and creepy. "No? Don't you want to have me back?"

"No! I'm different now! I've changed! I'm not like that anymore!"

"Oh sure you are!" Kira said in light-hearted tones, as if reassuring a child that yes indeed they were special. "We just need to dig and find it all again. It hasn't gone far, I promise. The darkness inside of people…it's always lurking just beneath the shadows. It waits for when your precious light fails you. And then it's there, always reliable, always dependable. You can always go back to it. It doesn't abandon you, and it never fails you like the light." Kira smiled in what Light was sure was meant to be a comforting way, almost encouraging. But it was instead, scary. He moved forward again. "Come on now Light. Accept me as you once did."

"No," Light said again. "I've been shown a different way. L showed me. And it's ten hundred times better than anything I ever had with you."

Kira snorted, then sneered, seemingly almost at the same instant.

"What a bunch of bull." He sighed, letting his arms fall to the side as he rolled his eyes. "Humans. What can you do with them." Then his attention snapped back to Light quickly and sharply. His good humor and even what he thought was a kind smile were now completely gone. His eyes flashed a sudden and dangerous red as they narrowed. They glued themselves to Light's face, a horrendous snarl coming to his lips.

"As I said, Light, I'm not looking to waste time with arguments. Instead of trying to convince you of anything, let's just do it the quick and messy way, shall we? You let me take possession of you, or I kill your_ tight_ little lover. How's that?" He immediately lifted the razor blade and rested its gleaming edge against L's snow white wrist.

Light immediately lifted his hands and shook his head. Kira smiled when he saw his widening eyes.

"It's no skin off my nose. I'm immortal after all. L will die and I'll just drift on to the next vessel. So really it's up to you. If you let me possess you, I'll leave L's body. He'll return to normal. He won't be crazy anymore, he won't be injured or hurt. He can go on living. And you _know_ I take good care of you too Light. Have I ever treated you poorly while in your body?"

Light's heart was picking up pace again. It thudded in his chest. How could this be happening? It was a nightmare. No, it was worse. Light could have never even dreamed up something so horrid.

Quickly he tried to think. What could he do? He could try and tackle Kira before he had a chance to press that blade down into L's skin. But what would that accomplish? If he tied Kira up and tried to keep him from hurting L, he could just leave L's body, possess someone else, and then come back and repossess L whenever he wanted, right? He could wait for L to be freed and then just come into him again. And if he didn't leave L's body, well…he would continue to torture L by playing back memories and driving him crazy. He could hurt L in many more ways than just physically. So, what could he do? How could he stop Kira without hurting L?

_The Bible!_ Light quickly thought. That was right. When L had been going crazy, and now Light knew it was due to Kira's influence, he'd felt immediately better once seated outside the church. Light blinked. How could he have been so stupid so as not to recognize it back then? Light still remembered L's sweet face. He'd looked so relieved, like a burden had been lifted up and out of him.

"_I feel a little better, sitting here"_ L had said. Light had remembered how his eyes had cleared of all haze._ "I was sure I'd already lost it while I was running. I was so afraid. Like…like it had taken over. I wasn't even in control. But…once I heard the bells, I…I just…knew where to go. I felt better…once I sat down here. The bells…were so clear." _

Light could have kicked himself. How much more obvious do you get than that? He should have known. How could he not have known.

_His bells…they could have saved him in the end, if we'd only recognized how important they really were…_

But Light knew that running for the Bible was impossible. It was no longer an option. The Bible was in Quil's car, locked away in a suitcase in a trunk. He could never get to it. And they had no other Bible in the house. He couldn't reach his phone in time to call James, who he was sure had another copy. If he moved toward a phone or to leave the room, or even moved at all…Kira would kill Lawliet. He stood right there, blade held at his lover's wrists. So then…what could he…

"Tick toc tick toc! L's time is running out!" Kira growled impatiently. His eyes flashing blood red, he suddenly pressed down, slipping the blade under L's tender skin. Blood immediately bubbled up and out from, under the sharp, cold, metal. Light sucked air in through his teeth, practically feeling the pain himself. His entire body tensed.

"Stop!"

"Come on Light, say you'll take me back and I'll leave L alone." Light tried to think of another way. Any other way. If he let Kira possess him…L would be devastated. It was his worst nightmare after all. Light knew very well that it was his greatest fear. How many times had L awoken from such a nightmare? How many times had he confided in Light, telling him that losing Light to Kira again…would destroy him? How many times had Light held him, shaking in his arms from the very though?

No…if Light allowed himself to be possessed again…it would destroy L. And not only that…but what would become of the rest of the world? Light knew perfectly well what Kira would do once inside of him. He would turn Light into the demon he once was. He would have him re-possess of the Death Note once again, and he would have him start creating the new world.

People would die.

Endless amounts of people would die.

Innocent people would die.

Would L forgive him if he allowed all of that to happen? And wouldn't Kira just kill L anyway, once inside of him?

"I will _fucking kill him!_" Kira suddenly screamed, his face ugly and angry and full of lines. It contorted, twisting into a horrible fashion. He pressed the blade in deeper. Crimson flowed forth, much more furiously than before. It rolled over L's skin and began to drip to the floor. Light cried out as Kira screamed in anger. "Do you think I'm joking? Do you think this is a game? Don't you think I'll do it? Would you like to test me?" Kira pulled the blade out of L's skin and then suddenly brought it back down, deliberately, and meticulously, creating another razor blade sized hole. Light cried out, as if he himself had been cut. He couldn't stand it. L began bleeding from this new wound, while blood continued to pour from the old ones. His arm was becoming just as red as his hands.

"I will _kill_ him you faggot! Now give me an answer _right now!"_ Light's eyes filled with tears as he watched L's precious blood spill. He couldn't do it. He couldn't stand to see L hurt. And he knew that he had no other way out. He couldn't think of any other way of saving his one and only love. Even if Kira decided to kill L once he possessed Light…there was still a small glimmer of hope that he would keep his word. If Light refused him here and now…there was no doubt that L would die.

Kira let out a tremendous growl, an unholy sound that Light could not even describe. All he knew was that it was otherworldly and that nothing on earth could ever make such a horrific noise with its voice. It was deep, and sounded like three voices at once. All three voices were not human. He suddenly lifted the blade to L's neck, placing its edge directly on his artery.

"Then he will die!"

"Wait!" Light called. Kira stopped, blade still poised in a deadly fashion over L's vital artery. Kira waited, knowing he had won. Light's expression softened, the kindness and love that L had taught him re-entered his eyes as he stared at his boyfriends hostage body. He could not let him die. He could never. Not when he knew there was a slight hope that he could do something for him, preserve him in some way.

"I love you, Lawliet," Light said suddenly, his voice soft and tender, the way it always was when they made love. He spoke the words as if they were a caress. Unable to hold his partner, unable to comfort him the way he wanted, he did what he could with gentle words and a promising voice. Light smiled sorely through the diamonds that were now making their way down his cheeks. He smiled to the best of his ability, to try and convince the captive L that everything would be ok.

"I love you. And if I have the ability to save you, I will. I know you. And I know you'll find a way to save me too. You can't do that if you're dead. And I only ever wanted us to be together." Light let out a choked sob. He suppressed it, then tried to face Kira on the surface of his lover's face.

"You may repossess me if you wish, Kira. But you'll never fool me the way you did back in Japan. I know now that the world is not as you made me see it. I won't be yours. Only my body." Kira rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Human garbage. You'll see things my way in only a second. Fairwell, poor L. Once I'm inside your lover, I'll kill you the way I always dreamed of…with your own loves hands." He grinned wickedly. Light's eyes widened at the blatant disregard for the promise Kira just made not to harm L. But he couldn't' say he wasn't expecting it. And before he could even utter an objection, it was too late, the deal had been struck. Kira swarmed out of L's body like a storm of bees. It sounded just as horrible. He buzzed and whirled and screamed like an oncoming tornado. The black mass soared out of L's fragile form and up into the air. And even as L's limp body was falling to the ground, he raced violently into Light's chest.

Light screamed.


	33. Faith

When L awoke, he was in terrible agony. He found himself lying on the floor on a carpet soaked in his own blood. His right arm throbbed, burned and stung horridly. It was punctured and cut, maimed into a crimson mess. Kira had hurt him. And he had hurt him badly while in possession of him. His palms…they burned and throbbed like his arm.

At first, he was only aware of the pain. But as he started to come to, screams made their way through to his ears. He immediately recognized the voice.

"Raito." L forced himself to lift his head and open his eyes. There, standing before him was his Raito-kun, a black horrid mass of the devil flying violently into his chest. L's eyes widened in dreaded horror.

**"_Raito!"_** L's shriek was hardly heard through the thunderous sound of Kira entering Light's body and through Light's screams. And in only another blink, it was over. L stared in terror. He'd witnessed the same exact thing once before: back in Japan on the Kira case. During those few months when Light had been himself when he wasn't possessed, he had been drastically different from the Light Yagami L had first met and known. And that innocent Light, the one L had fallen in love with, had been wiped out in the blink of an eye in only one moment.

That moment had been when they had arrested Higuchi, and were sitting in the helicopter together. The moment Light had grabbed the notebook from L's hands…he had screamed exactly like this. His expression had been exactly the same. The long drawn-out cries of horror as gruesome images flashed before him, the bugging eyes that seemed to almost glow, the wide open, gaping mouth. This…this is what happened to his Raito when he was possessed.

Fully inside his vessel now, and back in control of the one human being he so desired on the face of the earth, so that he traversed continents, Kira turned and faced the fallen detective. He grinned, and his eyes flashed red.

L's eyes grew five times their usual size as he gasped up in shock. Light…no longer resembled Light at all. No. He was fully Kira. There was no doubt. L had looked into that wicked face countless times. And here it was once again in front of him. Kira took his loves face and twisted it in a way that perverted his usually soft Japanese features. His kind eyes were now boiling lava, filled with malice and spite. His mouth had warped into a terrible gorge that sliced through his cheeks. That grin…L had hoped to one day forget what it had looked like.

There wasn't time for shock: there's was only time enough for one heartbeat in his chest and one sharp intake of air, and then the world exploded. Kira turned, unnaturally, bones grinding together to face his victim, and then he opened his mouth, let out a terrible roar from hell, and then lunged forward. Despite his injuries, L still had two very good legs, and was in the perfect position to use his capoeira. He lifted himself, rolling onto his curved back and then his lean legs struck out like that of a frog.

Crack!

Bam!

In two swift kicks, Kira was stumbling backward and into the bedroom wall. It gave L the time he needed to scramble to his feet. Pushing himself up, he cried out sharply as pain raced through his oozing arm and palms. But there was no time to gaze at the true horror of his injuries, or even to waste time feeling the pain. He got up and turned to face Kira. For a brief moment he only stood, stumped and at a total loss to as what to do.

This was his Raito-kun. The man he had fallen in love with across the world and on the other side of the globe from all of what they knew now. This was the man he'd given everything up for. He gave up the title of L. He gave up his detective career. He gave up Whammy's house, and all of his connections. He gave up the millions of dollars he'd earned. He'd given up the only family he knew…Quil, Mellow and Near. L had thrown it all away. For this man. This was the man he had chosen to give himself to. Fully and wholly. He'd even faced past shadows and fears with him, and then forced him to wait an awfully long time before being intimate with him. He'd done all of this…so that they could be together.

And also, vice versa, L knew that Light had done the same. Perhaps he'd given up even more. He'd had a family. A real family by blood. Something L had never known. Light'd had a father a mother, a little sister to look out for. He'd given up a promising future. He'd been in collage; he was going to become the police chief. He was going to be a huge part of Tokyo. He could have done anything, been anything, and he gave it all away for a scrawny, ornery ex-detective. And Light had been so patient with L when they had first started out. He'd always been gentle, always caring. And he waited when L asked him too, knowing L had been afraid of intimacy. He waited…despite the burning desires L knew he had.

And now…

L's eyes filled with tears in the split second it took him to think of all these things, in the second it took Kira to recover and push himself up and off, away from the wall he'd been kicked into.

As L looked at him, looked at his twisted face, he knew he didn't want to run. He couldn't leave Light like this. If he left him, Kira would take him away and L would never see him again. He'd disappear into a huge, vast earth, with endless destinations for a serial killer who didn't need to be at a place to kill. L would lose him forever.

"Raito," but before L could say another word, Kira pounced a second time. He drew his fist back, and faster than one could blink, L had been hit, viciously and hard. His small body was flung back. He landed on the floor. Kira was already running at him. L stared up with huge eyes.

"Raito, no!" Even as Kira leapt on top of him, pinning him, smashing him violently back against the bloodied carpet, L knew he could never fight back. He couldn't. He couldn't hurt Light. He loved him far, far too much. He loved him more than he loved himself. He was so precious to him, so tender, that L could never defend himself. He wouldn't fight. And he wouldn't run.

And so, he took the next hit willingly, openly. And even as agony exploded in the side of his face, L remembered how this had all happened before. Again, back in Japan, where their beginning had begun, L had put himself in this very position on purpose. L had done this back in Japan to test Light's affections for him. It had worked.

Kira suddenly stood up, dragging L to his feet with a strong hand, wrapped around the front of his collar. He held him there for only a moment, then turned him so that he faced the king-sized bed. Then he threw L violently down onto the mattress, face first. He wasn't hurt, the mattress being memory foam. Light had particular sleeping needs.

Kira suddenly leapt up on top of him, pinning him to the bed. Kira grabbed the back of his head, jamming his face down into the mattress. He couldn't breathe. Kira sat on top of his back, keeping him down. And even as he did so, L understood exactly what his intentions were.

"I'm going to make you beg for death before I ever deliver you your final wish!" Kira's voice was hard, and full of hateful lust. L knew exactly what he was talking about, and exactly what he planned to do. Kira, having been inside of L for the past few days, knew perfectly well what terrified him the most. He knew his most painful memories; he knew what had scarred him inside, the things that had broken his heart. Having already accomplished his main objective, which also happened to be L's worst fear, there was only one other fear that came even close.

Kira was going to hurt him in the way that Webber had wanted to, the way that L feared the most. He was going to hurt him in Light's body. In a body that had always been tender with him and kind and caring. In a body that L was used to receiving only affection from.

It was a nightmare, a horror that only a demon from hell could have thought of. It was an atrocity so horrendous that even L's dreams had not come up with something like this. And normally…L would have been terrified. He should have felt that fierce stab of dread, that crushing feeling of helplessness and horror; the things he felt when Webber had been after him back in Atlanta.

But suddenly…L wasn't worried. Not even in the slightest. He didn't feel those things. In fact, he felt almost at peace. He knew he wouldn't be hurt. Not like that. Not by Light. After all, this had all happened before. And the last time this had happened, Light had stopped himself, and he had stopped Kira before anything too atrocious had happened. And of course, that was back when Light and L were not aware that Light was possessed. That had all happened before they'd realized their feelings for one another. That had all happened back when their relationship was volatile and explosive and fragile.

Things were different now. Very very different. It was like night and day. And L knew, in his heart and soul, that Light could very easily and with minimal effort, expel Kira from his body. Light had not been drugged as L had been. He was fully awake, healthy and aware of what was taking place. And he would never, ever allow Kira to hurt him in the way he suggested.

In fact, L was so sure of Kira's defeat that a grin suddenly broke out across his face.

Kira, having not heard the cries of terror and protect that he was expecting, suddenly grabbed the back of L's head. He took a fistful of his thick, raven locks and pulled back on it, forcing L's head up off the mattress so Kira could take a look at his face. What he found was shocking. A triumphant grin shone through his mop of black hair which hung in his face. Even through the gritting pain of his head being treated in such a way, L smiled. Kira was in shock.

"What the hell? What could you possibly be smiling about? Do you even understand what's happening to you? Do you know what I'm going to do to you? You want to be raped? Is that it? Is it because I'm in your lover's body? You think I'll treat you like he does? You think I'll be nice and make it pleasurable for you? You're sorely mistaken. There'll hardly be anything left of you when I'm through! I'm going to rip you apart!"

L only chuckled, a cocky expression forming on his face.

"Kira is a bigger fool than all of us put together," L said it softly, with an almost pitying tone. Kira's face tensed drastically with fury. How dare he? How _dare_ L speak to him is such a way when he was in such a position.

"What did you just say?" He demanded.

"History does repeat itself. And you at least, never learned from it." Infuriated now that he was being mocked by someone who should have been trembling and cowering in utter fear, Kira suddenly slammed L's face back down into the mattress. He did it several times before pulling his head back up so he could see his face. He leaned in, putting his face right beside L's. L's face was tense with the pain of his head being treated so poorly, but Kira still saw the grin of triumph nestled in the corner of his lips. It hadn't vanished at his threats or actions. He snarled with rage. He felt his fury rising. But what was more…was that L's smile…sparked a hint of fear deep inside of him. How could he be so certain? How could he know that Kira wouldn't reenact his worst nightmares, his darkest fears? Kira was a demon after all. And demons knew what people feared most. Demons knew exactly how to play off of fear and dread. And L's fears gave him the juicy addition of rape and lust. It was the best recipe a devil could hope for. No one resisted fear in a situation like this. He snarled, viciously to make L believe he was fully terrorizing and not in the least bit afraid.

"What could possibly make you so sure I won't ravage your body? What makes you think I won't rip you apart from the inside out, and then tear out your beating heart?"

L only chuckled.

"It's like Jackie said the last time we met. Raito's different now. He's no longer yours. And good people, once they're aware of your presence, can easily rid you from themselves."

Kira's expression changed. It changed drastically to one of sudden worry and fear. He knew just as well as L did that this was true. He could not hide the sudden bloom of fear he felt. For he knew he only reason he'd been able to possess Sheryl for so long, was because she was unaware of his presence. Most people don't think they're being possessed by a demon when they have a sudden bad thought, or a sudden urge to do something selfish or greedy. Most people pass it off as temptation and leave it at that. And in almost all cases, this is true. Hardly anyone on earth has actually been truly possessed. In fact, most reported cases were due to mental illness. Only a very rare, very few handful of people out of the millions that populated the earth were actually legitimately possessed by something supernatural.

But even in regular every day cases where demons are not a factor; once a person was aware of the bad thought they were having, the thought was put down and destroyed. Sure, a bank teller might be tempted to steal the hundreds upon thousands she handles every day due to a small paycheck, but she doesn't actually commit. Once aware of her thoughts, the following is usually something similar to: _that's crazy. I could never do something like that. Stop being ridiculous. _And then the temptation is gone.

The power to defeat darkness and evil apparently had a lot to do with the simple awareness of it. If people denied its existence, denied that they ever thought anything bad, well then, the bank teller could justify that her temptation wasn't a bad thought at all, but something she deserved. If she didn't believe it to be wrong, she would steal that money.

L knew very well that this was the reason many many crimes were committed. The people he sought after and arrested throughout his life all had one thing in common: they believed they were in the right. Light had been the same exact way. He believed what he was doing was right in the beginning. Without the awareness that murdering people was wrong, he could not be convinced to stop.

Of course, there were always exceptions. People committed crimes due to the heat of the moment: like a man walking in on his wife having sex with another man. In these cases, emotion overrides a person's sense of right and wrong. And for the most part, these poor souls feel nothing but guilt and regret once the flames of anger or fear subside. And then of course, there were the very rare, but existing few who committed crimes _because_ it was wrong. These people were usually mentally unstable. They got a kick of ecstasy or power from knowing they did something wrong. A person like that, was like Webber. And people like that, would have welcomed being possessed by a demon anyway, and were a lost cause.

But normal, regular people, ninety-nine percent of the human race, could easily defeat evil only by recognizing it, and then dismissing it. It was as simple as that. And Kira knew it. Which is why he worked so hard and so long on sneaking around and doing almost everything underhandedly out of everyone's awareness. Because once Kira was called out into the open and people saw him for what he was, he was only as powerful as people allowed him to be.

With Kira guiding Sheryl's desires and driving her darker urges to the surface, these became more frequent in her thoughts. Not knowing she was being possessed only led her to believe that she wanted these things for herself. Instead of fighting it, or acknowledging that these thoughts were wrong, she let it occur, giving into the promises of happiness and power that these thoughts offered her. But even someone as imperfect as Sheryl would have never fallen victim to Kira if she had only fought what he had been suggesting to her with a simple reverse thought of 'no that's wrong, I won't do such a thing.'

The same had gone for L. He was unaware of his possession. Thinking he was being delusional and falling into his own nightmares was easy when he thought he himself, his own body, were doing it to him. Once he knew he was possessed and if it weren't for the drugs, he would have been able to kick Kira right out as if he were nothing.

Kira knew it. And L saw the look of worry on his face.

"That light you always speak of Kira, the one you say is unreliable and weak. If it's as belittling as you make it sounds, then why is it so much more powerful than you?" Kira backed up off and away from L, untangling his hand from L's inky locks of hair. A look of disbelief on his face, he took a few frightened steps backward. He shook his head in dismay.

"You really _are_ crazy!" L crawled off of the bed, gingerly standing up on two feet due to his injuries. He cradled his bleeding right arm gently in his left. Despite the biting pain, and the blood that still dripped down his arms, he faced Kira, a harsh look of determination on his face. In spite of his small stature and regardless of his weakness due to blood loss, he appeared as immovable as stone.

"That may be, but I also know when my opponent has been beaten. Come on Raito! Show him! Show him the life we've built the past few years! Show him how much light is in it, and show him where his shadows belong."

Light, stuck and trapped inside his own body, was easily able to see all that was happening around him. He heard L's explanation and he felt Kira shape his face into one of worry. Light could feel Kira…he could feel him recoil inside of himself. Light knew just as well as Kira and L then, that there was no hope for the demon.

Light smiled from within his own body.

_Show him the life we've built…_ he thought. Almost immediately a feeling of warmth came to him. It flooded him and lifted his heart. It wasn't a hard request. And almost instantly Light allowed himself to drift into the comforts of his most favorite memories.

The spring that they'd found that baby robin fallen out of its nest. How insistent L had been that they return it to the tree branch ten feet up. How disgruntled Light was to agree to allow him to stand on his shoulders to do so. Their first valentine's day, and how awkward both had felt, because they didn't know what was obligatory, and what they should do for one another. They joy of seeing L eat his chocolates had been more than enough though. And of course, Light would never forget the first time they rode in the horse and sleigh during their first winter here in town. The snow spraying by as they went over a hill, the steam coming out of the horses nostrils. And how L had laughed and laughed when the horse produced a pungent smell and Light had to hold his nose for the last half of the ride.

They had lived together. And the joy of simply being alive with the one he loved had been enough to erase all of the horror he'd caused in Japan. Doing the laundry, trying to force L to wear socks, eating out at the new café down the street or even washing the dishes had all been things Light enjoyed.

Light realized then that he even enjoyed the moments when things weren't all that grand. L and Light could be stubborn at times, both of them pig headed and defiant. It caused a lot of spats and verbal fights between the two. But Light recognized that it was a part of growing. He had grown with the one he loved because of the hard times. They worked things out together. They resolved their differences, and they moved on. It wasn't all always sugar and spice, but it was life with L.

Most of all, out of all of these things, Light allowed the feelings he had for L to flood him. He loved him so. And even above all of these memories, his favorites were the ones when he was holding L in his strong arms. The feel of his warmth against his skin, the feel of his breath on his neck. The gentle touch and caress of his nimble hands. And of course, one of L's favorite memories was also Lights: the first time they had made love in front of the fireplace. The magic that had been produced that night, Light would never lose.

He knew just as much as L did then, that a demon could not take that away unless he allowed him to. This was Light's body. This was Light's soul. And it was his life and his house and his love. And these things had been given to him as gifts. As such, Kira had no power over them. The only time Kira had power, was when the people he was after offered it to him, by entertaining a bad thought, or by going through with something they knew was wrong. Everyone knows the difference between right and wrong. In any country, on any continent. True human beings could bicker about the smaller morals of culture or of their society, but the basics were the same for everyone.

The last time Light had been possessed…he had wanted to be possessed. He wanted the power. He wanted the attention and all the glory Kira's promises offered. And so he'd done what he desired because Light desired it too. It wasn't until later, after he'd met L that Light realized the road he was on was not taking him to power and glory. He would have eventually been caught and killed. Fried in the electric chair most likely. Kira's promises were empty. And it was the same for everyone he and his demon friends tried to possess and trick.

Getting rid of Kira, was as easy as saying 'no.' That was exactly how L had done it when he was possessed the first time. Light knew then what to do.

Kira let out a sudden and horrible scream. L watched, worried when he saw Kira put his hands to his silky hair. He threw his head back, yowling like the demon from hell he was.

**"_Stop it!"_** he screamed. L smiled softly then as he knew what was happening. Light was showing him how much light was in their lives. There was no place for Kira in it. Kira howled and yowled like a dying cat. He clawed at Light's silky hair. L watched the struggle, knowing it was futile for the demon. But he also grew worried for Light's body. Kira was resisting as much as he could. He would not leave easily and without a fight. And as L watched, he started tearing at Light's caramel locks. L took one hesitant step forward, fear for his lover's body filling him. But before he could make a move, Light lifted one hand, gesturing wildly for L to stay away.

Trembling and shaking, his body torn between two pilots, Light managed to scream out in the midst of Kira's cries.

"Stay back Lawli! I…I've got him!" L did as told. He knew there was nothing he could do for Light at this moment anyway. This was all up to Light now. He had to expel the demon himself. No one could help him.

Suddenly, Light's body bucked wildly, and he fell back, throwing himself on the floor. It had been a harsh fall, and L saw Light skin his elbow on the carpet. His hands flew back to his head. Clawlign a second time, Kira shrieked once more. The voice that came out of Light was horrifying. It had two pitches to it: one low and not from this world, and the other…well the other voice was Light's voice. L's heart twisted as he heard it. It must have been painful. L remembered the agony of expelling Kira from his own body on Halloween. His heart lurched in his chest, going out to his partner in sympathy.

"You've got him Light! Don't give up!" He cried out words of support, unknowing of what else to do. Light writhed on the floor, his body jerking around irregularly.

**"_No! No! No! Obey me! I am your master! Impudent wretch! I'm a god!"_** L recognized Kira's voice, but it was ridiculous for Kira to something like that in such a position. It would have been clear to anyone that he was no match. He was losing.

With one last scream of agony at the sight of L and Light's love filled lives, a scream that howled through the house and into the winter air, Kira could take no more. With one last push from Light, he burst out of Light's skin. The black mist seeped out of his skin like vapor, lifting up slowly into the air, weakened by Light's assault on him. Now the screaming belonged only to Light. L watched as Kira's mist continued to trickle slowly out of Light's form. It hovered just above Light's fallen body, seemingly panting from his efforts to stay in his vessel.

L took a firm and demanding step forward, his expression harsh as he glared damningly down at the formless demon. At first he wasn't sure whether to run to his fallen love, or confront the monster. But in another second, when Kira was fully and completely out of his love, he knew what to do. Light's screams died away. His body fell still, no longer trembling and shuddering. He lay on his back on the carpeted floor, panting heavily, gasping for air. But he was ok. L could see the expression of deep relief on his face as he let his eyes flutter closed.

Knowing his love was indeed safe, L turned his cold gaze to the wispy smoke which had not moved once exiting Light's form. His eyes hardened like steel. His teeth clamped down together in a snarl. Kira. This was Kira. In his true form. And this was the monster that had done so much to them. L knew what to do. He knew that Kira needed to be told what for. He knew Kira needed to be finished. And L sure as hell wasn't going to allow the creature to stay in his house near his love any longer. Still clutching his bleeding arm, he lifted his head and spoke in a loud voice.

"You know now that you can't have us and you can't touch us! And without Light as a willing victim, you have no hope of accomplishing what you tried to accomplish in Japan! You have no power on earth anymore! You're weakened now and now that we know how to defeat you, no one will fall prey to you in this town. You have no place here! So why don't you go to hell!"

The phrase was wonderfully appropriate, and it felt so good to demand Kira leave. Kira's form rippled in objection. Clearly he wanted to stay and try again. He hovered upward looking as furious and as defiant as a black cloud without a face can. But even his cloud-like form looked weaker. The horrible blackness of it was now more of a gray. The horrendous faces that used to swirl inside of it were gone. It no longer buzzed and shrieked with the voices of hell. Instead, it looked more like a listless wisp of smoke. L could even see through him, like he were little more than smog. And still, despite his utter and obvious defeat, he defied L.

But before Kira could move, or try anything else, all the shadows in the bedroom became suddenly blacker than pitch. Their coloring faded away into nothing until they appeared to be nothing more than black holes in space. They had no mass, and looked almost like open wounds. L was sure if he walked through one, he would fall down it like a bottomless pit.

L let out a startled gasp as the room became suddenly freezing cold. The air was almost a solid thing, like ice. The entire room grew heavy, as if the air itself now had a weight to it. It pressed down on him and his skull, giving him an instant headache. The pressure was deafening and almost unbearable. It made him feel slightly sick.

His hair stood up on end, rising on his arms and on the back of his neck. Goose bumps rose on his skin. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to retain his heat, not even aware of the pain in his arm due to the sudden dread that was filling the upstairs bedroom. But his goose bumps only rose higher when he heard the howls.

The shadows in the room, the holes or portals that they suddenly became, released a horrid noise that came up from the bowls of the earth. Wails that L had never heard before in all his years of detective work seeped up out of them like ghosts. It was many voices at once. Voices of what he wasn't sure. They certainly weren't human, and they didn't sound like any animal he knew of. They were growls, and shrieks and multi-pitched. And rising up from these wounds in the earth, along with the howls, was also a smell. L gagged, putting a hand over his face. It spelt like rotting flesh and burnt hair. Maybe there were rotting eggs in there was well. Whatever the smell was, it was awful and his stomach turned.

At first he was terribly afraid. He knew what this was. He knew that somehow, there was now an entranceway from hell leading into his and Light's bedroom. And at first, he thought that he and Light were in trouble, that perhaps Kira had won, his boddies coming up to drag he and Light down to the pits of hell. After all…neither man could have been described as a model of good for mankind. They'd both done some terrible things in their lifetimes.

But this fear of L's faded away the moment he looked to Kira. Kira was panicking. He looked terrified. Even without a face, L knew that Kira was fearful. He hovered two and fro as if looking for a way out of the room. But the windows of the bedroom were blocked by a sudden shining of light. The way outside was barred for him. The things from hell were not coming for L and Light. L had a feeling, that even if they wanted to, they couldn't. No, the things from hell were coming for Kira.

And no sooner had L thought this that the shadow-holes in the room suddenly sprang fourth. They slid across the walls and slithered over the floor. They slid right through the bloody spot on the carpet and made their way like shadowy ghosts toward Kira. Kira let out a yowl just as horrible of that of his companions who were coming for him. He objected, but there was no use. The shadows lashed out, grabbing a hold on Kira even though he floated in the center of the room.

Kira screamed. Then was dragged down to the floor, through the floor, and down into one of the shadowy corners of the room. L and Light heard Kira's screams as he was dragged all the way down and into a dimension or world that was not their own. And even as the shadows slithered to their proper places in the room, L could hear Kira's screams fading away.

Kira, completely gone and swallowed whole by his demon friends, the shadows morphed back to the shapes they should have been: this one next to the bed, that one a dresser. Their black coloring faded away and paled until it was the subtle gray it should have been. The floor came back into view, L able to see the carpeting inside of the shadows. The smell of the insides of the earth vanished, not even a trace of it lingering. The heaviness of the air lifted, allowing L to breathe again the way he needed to.

The portals were closed, and the icy chill in the air dispersed. With only one more blink, with only one more exhale of relief, it was all finally, finally over. The rooms temperature rose back to normal, and the shadows became, just shadows once more.

L stood in the center of the room for just a moment, feeling numb from the shock of it all. So much had happened. His arm was still bleeding; dripping to the floor, and Light was still…

"Raito!" L, blinking himself out of his daze, immediately ran to his fallen partner's side. Light lay collapsed on his back on top of their carpet, his silky hair splayed across his brow. But as L fell to his knees beside him, he saw that his eyes were open. He was awake and aware. L let out a quick sigh of relief.

"You're ok." He paused. "Right?" Light smiled at his worried partner's face. He was tired, after all, being possessed wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but he was indeed alright.

"I'm fine Lawli." Slowly, carefully, he lifted a hand. Gently, and with a slight tremble, he rested it on the side of L's pale face. He ran a gentle thumb over his smooth skin. "Look how you worry about me. Look at that face." Light pressed the tip of his pointer finger into the wrinkled center of L's worried brow. He rubbed his finger down it as if he could smooth it this way. Smiling softly he suddenly went to sit up.

"Oh, Raito! You shouldn't move right away! You're weak!" L reached out his hands as if to keep Light down. Light instead grabbed onto said hands, and used them to help himself sit up. He chuckled.

"I'm fine, Lawli. I'm a little shaken, but I'm fine." Once up and in a seated position, he kepta firm hold onto L's hands. But once he was settled, he immediately noticed that he was gripping something warm…and wet. Light looked down, his almond shaped eyes immediately widening when he saw the blood.

"You're hands…" They were still bleeding, heavily from the razor cuts Kira inflicted on them.

L quickly took his hands away from Light, slipping them behind his back along with his ravaged arm as if this could possibly hide the terrible wounds or the blood that stained what seemed like half of the things in the room. Besides…even if he had managed to cover it all up, it wouldn't erase the terrible images Light had in his mind. He would never forget the memory…the terrible memory of Kira plunging that blade into that tender skin.

"It…it's not too bad. Just a few scratches…I'll be fine." But Light knew his love far too well. He saw the pain etched deeply in the corners of his face where he tried to hide it. He also saw the lies hidden in the corners of his eyes. L knew it was bad. And he knew the wounds were deep. He was hurt. Badly. And Light had a feeling that the only reason he wasn't screaming in pain was because he must have still been a little bit numb from the sleeping drugs he'd been prescribed and the shock of everything that had just occurred. Light's face tightened as he gazed at his love.

"We have to get you to the hospital right away. Come on, I'll drive you." Light quickly stood up, despite the fact that he was still weak. But once on his feet, he didn't wobble and he didn't even appear light-headed. Seemingly, he was in ok shape despite having just had a demon inside of him. Perhaps it was because of his acceptance of the light's help in Kira's defeat. Light reached out his hand, grabbing onto L's good arm. He pulled him to his feet, not caring if he was willing or not.

Even with Watari gone in his car, Light and L still had theirs. They would take it. It would be faster than calling 911 and waiting for an ambulance.

"Let's grab some bandages. You wrap it up while I drive." L nodded in agreement. It would be best to try and stop the bleeding as soon as possible, but also to get to the hospital quickly. Light's plan was accurate.

After having grabbed the bandages they started to make their way down the stairs. As they did so, L smiled softly to himself a warm feeling growing inside.

"We've come a long way…you and I. Haven't we?" Light, blinking, looked over to his partner, whose healthy arm was slung over his shoulders. He smiled in return after having seen L's warm expression.

"Yes, we have." L sighed, leaning his chin on Light's shoulder. His eyes fluttered. It could have been from his feelings of peace, or due to the fact that he was weakening from the loss of blood.

"Nothing can touch us now. Not even demons. Not even Kira. Because…" But L didn't finish his sentence. A large, wide grin bloomed across Light's face as the sentence trailed off. L couldn't finish such a sentence. It was way too sappy for him to say out loud. And in fact, it was too cheesy for Light to say either. So instead of finishing his sentence for him, he let it hang in the air. Neither man was the type to admit to such a line about the power of love and light, even if it was true, and had just saved their asses.


	34. A Sweet End

Author's Note: This is it. The very last chapter. Thank you all for coming along on the ride with me.

~Spotofpaint

* * *

The air was warm and smelt of rosebuds. The sun gently kissed L's skin as he sat outside in the fresh, green grass. It had just sprouted, prompted to grow and reach for the sky under the warmth of the beginning of spring. The trees felt the promising warmth of the sun too, and they were blooming under its care. Colors came out of hiding, as if they had all been hibernating, just like the animals. L couldn't believe the number of rabbits there were this year. Perhaps their natural predators, the foxes and hawks had dwindled in the harshness of such a bad winter. Whatever the reason, it was nice to see wildlife around.

He currently sat underneath the largest tree in his and Light's expansive front yard. It was producing pink blossoms. He wasn't sure what type of tree it was and decided he'd need to do some research on trees. He wanted to know what the ones with white blossoms were as well. They were all very lovely this May.

L leaned his back against the strong tree trunk, letting his arms rest casually on top of his bent knees. He closed his eyes to listen to the birds. He would have to research different types of birds too. He heard so many songs, but did not know the sources of more than a few. He recognized the robin, and that of the mockingbird, but that was all. Was that short twitter to the left a cardinal? He wasn't sure, but he would learn later. For now, he would enjoy the spring day.

He heard footsteps approaching. Opening his eyes, he looked up to see Light crossing the yard, coming from the house. He was carrying the medicated lotion bottle he'd gone to fetch, along with two glasses of lemonade. L smiled just as warmly as the May sun, his dark eyes twinkling with delight.

Light smiled in return when he reached him, then sat himself down at the base of the tree beside his love. He handed him one of the glasses of lemonade, the ice in it ringing against the side of the cup. L took it, cool in his hands.

"I hope its sweet enough for you. I added twice as much sugar as what I put in mine." L didn't answer, and instead took a sip. He smiled.

"It's perfect, as always." Light glanced to L's happy face, then down to his hands and his left arm. They'd gotten medical help right away after the Kira incident, and the doctors at the secret service as always were the best. They'd done all they could, but there were still scars. They were soft and pink, and thankfully very thin and minimal due to constant care. Still, Light knew what it meant for L to have even more scars on his body. No one knew about the ones on the soles of his feet, for they were in a place no one could see, but having scars on his arms and hands was an entirely different matter. L couldn't hide his hands. And everyone in town had already seen the injuries back when they were fresh.

There had been no better explanation than the most obvious. After all, Katie and Byte had seen L's condition right before it had happened. They'd had no choice but to tell the towns people that L had a manic episode and then tried to kill himself. It was the most believable tale.

It hurt Light a little bit to create such a lie, since L, despite everything he'd suffered in his lifetime, had never been suicidal. He was stronger than that. He respected himself more than that. But there really wasn't any other story they could have weaved. The secret service, Jackie, James and Quil had agreed. And so did L, with what Light thought to be much too relative of ease. Still…L seemed ok with the results.

The town's people still remained friends with the couple, and they still treated them just as they had before. Although, Light supposed that having the doctor from the secret service assure people that L was ok if he stayed on medication probably had something to do with it. Of course there wasn't any mediation, but it was needed as part of their story.

L suddenly lifted his gaze away from the beauty springing up in their yard and to his love's face. He smiled brightly.

"Oh Raito, I'm _fine._ Really. I can tell by your face what you're thinking about, and as I've said countless times before, it's not a big deal. It…was actually a bit of a relief, to have a story like this." He turned his gaze back away and instead toward one of the rabbits feeding off the fresh shoots off in the distance.

"I've been too afraid to talk to people in this town about myself and my past before. I was afraid of revealing our identities. But…with a story like this…it gives me the opportunity to be truthful. I can…share the darkness of my past, and people aren't surprised or judgmental, because they expect it after this incident. They know I went through something…or why else would I be suicidal?" L looked back to his partner only to see a grimace. Light didn't like to hear L talk like that. Because it wasn't true. L smiled yet again. He reached out his arm and gently rested his palm on Light's shoulder. He tenderly ran his scarred palm up and down his upper arm, comfortingly.

"Really, Raito, I'm fine. I'm free to share what I want with whoever I want. I've been wanting to open up to Katie for so long…it's been such a relief to have finally told her about my parents…and the orphanages."

Light seemed to relax a little bit then. L truly did seem happy about the developments. And at least Light knew the truth. L was healthy, both mentally and physically. That was what was important, right? And besides, the doctor said the scars would continue to shrink with daily treatment. They were already so much smaller. They'd been lucky. Because Kira had used a razor, the cuts had been fine, small, and clean. They'd healed so miraculously.

Light gripped the bottle of medicated lotion he'd brought out with him.

"Here, let me apply your lotion again." L's smile only grew. He could do it himself, but he allowed Raito to almost every day. He enjoyed it and it made him feel as if he were helping in the healing process.

"Ok." L held out his left arm, resting it on his kneecap. Light then squirt the medicated ointment into his palms. It had a bit of a tinged smell to it, but both men had gotten rather used to it. Carefully and as gently as always, he began to smear the cream on. It didn't hurt anymore. The cream was only to reduce the size of the scars.

"Jackie and James are coming over for dinner tonight, along with Katie and Byte."

"I know," L replied. They'd planned this dinner party for the past week. It would be nice to finally have all six of them together. Jackie and James had never officially met Katie and Byte, who were still together and going strong as a couple. L would have never guessed that they would meet and make so many good friends. It filled him with joy.

"Tonight's going to be so much fun." Light smiled as he worked his fingers tenderly across L's skin.

"Yeah." And the real great thing about it all, was that Quil didn't seem to be so much of a distant figure anymore. After the entire Kira incident, Quil had definitely felt more of a connection to his old charge. Or at least L assumed. There really was no other explanation for him to set up a branch of new Whammy's houses in America. L knew it was an excuse. And excuse to repeatedly travel from Europe to America. And every time he was in the county, he found a way to visit without anyone realizing he was at Light and L's house instead of at his new orphanage.

L had been delighted at the development. He'd never had Quil in his life before. And now, suddenly, when he was older and he'd thought it to be too late, here he was. L had almost cried when Quil had told him the news. Because he realized then, once he heard, that it wasn't too late. It was never too late. There was always time to rebuild a relationship. There was always time to mend severed ties. And with the new and frequent visits, L and Quil had been doing just that.

He almost felt like…he had a family. Light and Quil were his family. And Katie, Byte, James and Jackie were his very good friends. L now possessed things that he never dreamed he could possess in all his life. He had people who cared about him. And what was more, was that he cared back. He loved them. All of them. And he could not begin to even believe how happy he truly was. Life had become a dream. And after suffering such nightmares, a dream seemed almost unreal.

He lifted his gaze then to Light, the man who had started it all with a notebook. L watched his face as he worked, a look of deep concentration etched in his features as he tried to cover every nook and cranny of L's arm. He was clearly very focused on what should have been an easy task.

L's heart glowed. He felt it lift, as if it had wings and could fly up and away out of his throat. Light seemed like the biggest dream of all. His soft, silky, smooth, caramel hair. His gentle and sometimes teasing eyes. His strong, yet tender arms. And of course, the affection he showed him each and every day; just like now, in this moment. He was so concerned for L's scars. For a brief second, L was afraid. Afraid that it wasn't real. It was so perfect. Too perfect. And life was never perfect. Afraid that Light was some sort of dream or hallucination, no matter how ridiculous the notion, L knew what he needed to have it proven true.

"Raito," he whispered suddenly. "Kiss me?" Light stopped what he was doing and lifted his almost eyes to his partners. He gazed into that face, that sweet, smooth face. He recognized L's expression right away. He was happy. And he was in love. And he was also longing for physical proof of their bond. Not just with Light, but with the world around him. And he needed Light. He needed Light to feel it all with him.

"Hold me?" L said next, his dark eyes shining. Light saw that it was important that he do as L asked right away. He had that look about him, the one that told him he desperately needed Light's affections. Light's heart melted. He would never get used to such a face. He reached out a gentle hand, carefully brushing his fingers against L's pale cheek.

"Of course, anata." Light reached out, wrapping his arms around L's small form. At first he held him gently, but when L returned the hug with a strong fierceness, Light increased his grip. L needed to feel his strength. Holding him tightly now, Light could feel his heart pound in his chest. And he could feel L's too. Both hearts beat together. And just when Light thought it couldn't get any more romantic, L blurted suddenly,

"Don't you dare let go Light Yagami!" Light let out a snort. That was his Lawli alright; making demands in the middle of romance. Light's eyes crinkled closed with delight. He would have never had L any other way.

"I won't let go," he said. "And in fact, I think I still owe you a kiss." He lifted one arm away from L's back so that he could bring it forward. Tenderly, as with great love and care, he lifted L's chin to make him look at him. And look L did, his dark eyes as absorbent as ever. As always, they reached depths of Light's soul he hadn't even known he had. It was then that Light leaned in and gently let his lips caress L's, in the same way the warm sun caressed their skin.

Above them in the trees, the flowers bloomed.

* * *

Ok boys and girls, that's it. That's the end. A year and a half worth of work. Can you believe I started Jealousy in October of 2008? It's been a long, hard, bumpy road hasn't it? I know I, myself, have been through hell and back in my personal life. I wonder how much you readers have gone through as individuals too. So much happens in a year and a few months.

To put you all at ease, incase you were wondering, things are much better for me now. My dad has had surgery, and it seems he's going to be ok. I'm still struggling a bit financially, but I just got a raise at work, so that should cease shortly in about a month or so. My girlfriend is more awesome than ever before and our relationship is strong. And I'm also very inspired to do another story (not Death Note guys, sorry. I'm taking a stab at a real novel this time.) If things go as planned, the novel should be out in 2011 sometime. I'll definitely make a posting about it on fanfiction when it gets published, so all of you, who've marked me as your favorite author, will know all about it in about a year or so.

Oi! So, onto a few thoughts of mine before I give you my sources: this fanfiction was tough to write! Oh baby, you better believe it! It started off easily enough, but before I knew it, I had characters coming out of the walls! And not just any characters, important characters! With back stories and emotions and wants and desires! I never planned on having James and Jackie in the story at all. I immediately fell in love with both of them. The moment they made their appearance. What great characters! (And I mean characters as in personality, not characters as in I'm tooting my own horn.)

I had back stories all ready for both of them, but the opportunity for me to either go into a flashback or have one of them open up verbally never occurred. It's a shame really, because it helped me to understand both of them so much better once those back stories were created.

In any case, Katie and Byte both grew on my in the same exact way.

Another huge part of this story was the religious aspect of it. I know a lot of people didn't like that it went in such a direction. But I won't apologize. Here's why:

I decided to involve Kira.

Kira, as established in the story, was a demon.

The very second I introduced a demon to this story, it became supernatural and spiritual all at once. You cannot have a supernatural being in a story and say it's not religious in some way. Demons, no matter what race or country a person may be from, are considered supernatural. The moment you cross that line, there is no going back.

From that point on, I did what I always do when I write: I let the characters do what they want. I also wrote down what the plot or storyline called for. And in this case, I had characters who were trying to combat a demon. There's really only one way to do that. Even horror films agree. Satanists agree. Both sides, good and evil agree on this method of combating demons. You fight them with good, right? So then of course I had to include God in my story as well.

I'm not sorry if that upset some of you.

What surprised me the most was that I posted the chapter about Kira possessing L, violently, and horribly first. I got no complaints about this chapter from anyone. I even posted a warning and upped my rating to "T" because of that chapter. But in the next chapter, I ever so casually mentioned the Bible, and suddenly everyone's freaking out and I'm receiving hate mail.

I didn't really understand it. You can't have one without the other. If I had tried to do so, it would have been terrible, disastrous writing. If I had evil in my story but no good to balance it out, well, then story would be over wouldn't it? Evil wins, the end. Of _course _I included God. The story would have had no conflict without Him. L and Light, being mere mortals, would have had no hope against a demon.

(And before you try to argue that they did just fine in Death Note, reconsider your position. They both _died_ in Death Note.)

In any case, I'm sure I stirred up enough trouble with these few short paragraphs alone. I just wanted to explain briefly the position I was put in because I'd decided to remain utterly silent about it while I was writing those chapters. You'll notice that there were no author's notes at the top of the chapters for many of them. I wanted everyone to believe what they wanted. I didn't want my opinions getting in the way of your reading.

Let's wrap this up. I'm sure I'll be getting letters I don't particularly like after these notes anyway.

I promised you a list of sources. Believe what you want, but I'm _not_ a religious expert by any means. I researched countless religions, trying to get a basic understanding of what each of the major religions believed. It was entirely fascinating. I'd never bothered to look such a thing up before and I very much enjoyed the reading.

I'm a firm believer in expanding your horizons and learning new things, especially when it comes to other cultures and countries. I learned quite a lot writing this fanfiction and if anyone's interested, here are my sources below.

Websites: (All web addresses have obvious spaces in them because fanfiction,net blocks them if you type out an entire address. So please use your brains to close the gaps to create the actual addresses for these websites. Thanks)

http : // www . adherents . com / Religions_By_Adherents . html

This website has a list and a whole bunch of graphs on the population of the planet and what percentage of people believe in which religion. The list is as follows:

Christianity: 2.1 billion 33%

Islam: 1.5 billion 21%

Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist: 1.1 billion 16%

Hinduism: 900 million 14%

Chinese traditional religion: 394 million 6%

Buddhism: 376 million 5%

primal-indigenous: 300 million 5%

African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million

Sikhism: 23 million .36%

Juche: 19 million

Spiritism: 15 million

Judaism: 14 million .22%

Baha'i: 7 million

Jainism: 4.2 million

Shinto: 4 million

Cao Dai: 4 million

Zoroastrianism: 2.6 million

Tenrikyo: 2 million

Neo-Paganism: 1 million

Unitarian-Universalism: 800 thousand

Rastafarianism: 600 thousand

Scientology: 500 thousand

Wikipedia was also a tremendous help for me. It simplifies all of the world's major religions into something readable in one sitting. I didn't have time to read a text book on each one after all.

Here's a great site on Buddhism.

http : // www . buddhamind . info / leftside / sumaries / q – a / thought – is . htm

Chinese Traditional

http : // www . religionfacts . com / chinese_religion / beliefs / spirits . htm

African Traditional:

http : // exploringafrica . matrix . msu . edu / students / curriculum / m14 / activity2 . php

This is a link to tons of information about amulets and other objects and their uses against evils in a variety of different religions.

http : // www . answering – islam . org / Books / Zwemer / Animism / chapt10 . htm

I also did research on some psychological disorders, especially those believed to make people think their loved ones were being possessed by demons back in olden days. Sadly…I've mis-located the links for that one.

Lastly, I have three books to recommend. Now, all three are revolved around Christianity, because as I'm sure you've noticed in the story, there was a point where L and Light decided that would be the best plan of action. Once that was the route the story was going in, I stopped researching other religions. (Christianity is the most popular religion in America, that's a big reason I went with it.)

Anywho, here's the books:

The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis.

Awesome. It gives you the perspective of a demon who's trying to win over a human beings soul. It helped me understand Kira so much better after reading it. Really. You have no idea how much I struggled with Kira's character because he wasn't human. I highly recommend it for anyone.

I also read Mere Christianity again by C.S. Lewis. I admit I didn't finish this book. The first half was very good. It gives a good understanding of Christianity and how it works. But half way through it starts getting into the nitty-gritty details of what a lot of people argue about and disagree on. It can be controversial, since C.S. Lewis touches on a lot of subjects people in this current time period are fighting over, like gays and their place in religion. You should have a strong constitution for this one.

Lastly, I read The Original Bible by Randall Price.

This one is about only physical evidence of the Bible. Like, where it came from, what documentation we have of the original scrolls or stone tablets it's written on, who wrote in it, when, why, etc. It was really cool, because it takes the entire thing from a very scientific approach. They give you hard evidence and facts of where these stories in the bible came from.

Sadly, I didn't finish reading this one either. I forsook it for The Screwtape Letters. But it's really awesome so far, and I highly recommend it for you scientific minds out there.

Ah, well, that's all. Really, that's the end. I have little else to say except that I really hope you all enjoyed the read and I hope it made some sort of a difference in your lives. I firmly believe that writing is a powerful thing. I love reading and words on a screen. Human beings can do so much, create so much with words. But ah, I'll go off on a tangent if I continue here, so I'll have to stop.

I wish you all a very happy 2010. And I sincerely hope that you are able to accomplish the goals you've set out for yourself. Go, grow, and never stop learning and reading.

I miss you all already.

~Spotofpaint


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